Update: I took the advice of John The Dunmer and updated this so it makes more sense.
All Morrowind content belongs to Bethsda.
Embracing Darkness
The pain was unbelievable.
I had never imagined anything could hurt such as this hurt, anything could tear into my soul as well as my flesh. I felt his fangs in my neck, the blood rushing from my body, the strange movements of his mouth as he swallowed, again and again. My blood, my life force. That was the worst part of all. The pain I could bear, my soul I could ignore but my blood, my pure, vital blood. As it slipped away from me I felt something that could never be described. Something no one should ever feel.
My heart weakened and I could feel every beat as though it were a great earthquake within my chest. Slower, slower until it was so faint that I almost missed the beats when they came. Just take me, I thought, pleading with him in my mind because I knew my mouth could not, would not respond. Take me and be done! Kill me, let me rest. Let it stop…
I had never given much thought on how I would die. Least of all, I had never thought I would want to die. But now as I lay in his cold arms, my fragile body broken from a fight I knew I couldn't win I longed for death to come if only to stop the pain, the loss, the pure anguish.
No!
I felt his lips leave my skin; his fangs withdraw from my flesh. I wanted to cry out, to scream at him. Why wouldn't he kill me? Why, when I needed it so much? But then I felt myself slip into darkness, fall willingly into the clutches of eternal rest…
But something was wrong, terribly, horribly wrong. It was not darkness; it was light, blinding light! It burned at my skin, my eyes; it tore at my punctured heart and my ripped soul. I could not bear it! This was worse than anything I had ever felt, worse than my life force being drawn out of me, worse than the cool prospect of death.
The light seemed eternal, I writhed within in for what felt like years, decades. I curled myself into a ball, I clawed at my face, my eyes, I shrieked and shrieked but it would not go. Finally I closed my eyes against the onslaught, huddling in a corner of my mind, trying to ignore that throb of my aching body and the burning of the terrible light. After a million years I awoke.
I was alone and this made me nervous. Where was he? Was he playing with me? What was he going to do? My wounds seemed less painful, and when I raised a shaking hand to my neck I found they had gone altogether. I frowned. Had he healed me? Was he keeping me as some slave for his hunger?
I had to get out and that was my only chance. I stood shakily, looking around. The room was exactly as it had been before; elegant furnishings and large bookcases filling the walls and floor space. At the far end was a huge oak door, half ajar, and beyond that was a dimly lit corridor. I remembered creeping slowly down that corridor the night before. Had it been the night before? How long had I been asleep?
But that was of no consequence, I just had to get out. I moved towards the door, half expecting it to open fully with him standing on the other side, his fangs ready to sink once more into my flesh. But he did not come. I crept down the corridor, barely making a sound.
Before I knew it I was out, standing in the cool night air. Free of the crowding darkness of his home, free of the stench of blood. I did not hesitate. I began to run, my feet propelling me forward, not caring in which direction they took me. I just had to get away from the darkness of the house I had just left. I ran for hours, only stopping to catch my breath before I continued, thighs burning, lungs searing, blood repeatedly making its way up my throat only to be spat out.
As dawn broke I found a town. I did not know which one it was and I did not care. All I wanted to do was get inside, to curl up and forget what had happened. The sun rose quickly over the hills. It was hotter that it should have been. It was only early spring, so why was the sun so burning? Why did it sear at my pale skin, boring into my eyeballs.
I stumbled into the town, clawing at my arms in an attempt to rid myself of the sun's torment. Eyes watched me, people muttered, once a man even approached. "Are you alright, Sera?" he asked, his red eyes full of concern. I simply reeled away from him, escaping into the darkness of an alleyway, thankfully devoid of sunlight.
I sank to the ground, pressing myself to the wall at the back of the alley. Drawing my knees up to my chin, I buried my face in the hollow they created, protecting myself from the onslaught of the world- what was happening to me? My insides felt like they were burning up, twisting and writhing as if a thousand snakes had somehow crawled inside them.
I stayed in that alley throughout the day only moving when midday came and the sun permeated my space of darkness, but then I only moved further into the corner, trying to stay as far away from the sun as possible. I could feel its heat just inches from me and it made the snakes inside my rear up in fear.
When darkness came I ventured out, my throat burning. I found a fountain and drank deeply, trying to quench my thirst. But for some reason the fire in my throat would not completely die. There was something else I need, though what I did not know. I drank deeper, more and more water until I could not stop it from forcing itself back up my throat and spattering across the cobblestones. I fled, returning to my alley where I curled up and willed for sleep to come.
Eventually it did. I slept for a very long time, waking just in time to see the sun setting over the hills. It was beautiful. Some otherworldly power took control of me, guiding me to my feet and out of my protective cocoon, out into the open where I watched as the last rays of light disappeared behind the hills, sending wonderful colours shooting into the sky. It was the perfect finale.
If I had only known then that for me the curtain would never rise once more.
I stood for a long time in the darkness, remembering all the sunsets I had ever watched. I felt a wave of sadness wash over me, though why I did not know. Why should a sunset make me feel sad? Then it happened, the first bolt of pain jolting through my stomach. The snakes were biting me, again and again. I cried out, doubling over in agony. Blackness started to creep into the corners of my vision. I had to run, and I knew exactly where I had to go. It was the last place I thought I would ever go again.
"So you have returned to me," he said, emerging through the large double doors of his home, the moonlight reflecting off his perfect hair. I said nothing because it that moment the blackness that had threatened me during my journey won the battle and I collapsed, registering vaguely that he caught me before I hit the ground.
My eyes flickered open and there he was, standing above me. "You finally awake. Three days can feel light an eternity in the light can it not? I should know."
His features, fine boned and horribly beautiful, were blank. There was no anger, or joy, no expression at all. But it was not the face I had seen before. This face was different. It was sharper, more focused. I could see a tiny scar on his forehead that I had noticed previously, even when I had watched him from the darkness.
The air seemed warmer around me, even though I recalled it had been deadly cold before. I wondered why. Then I realised. I lifted a hand to my mouth and felt tentatively at my teeth. My hand shot back my heart raced faster, faster. Fear boiled within me and I felt myself shaking worse than ever. A small smile crossed his lips at my reaction.
I was a vampire, a night-stalker, doomed to walk the shadows for eternity, doomed to long for the blood of others… Blood…
As soon as that thought entered my mind it would not leave it, consuming everything I had been thinking before.
Blood, rich, dark, red, blood.
I felt saliva fill my mouth and I swallowed, my stomach twisting with hunger. He held a hand out towards me but I ignored him, springing to my feet with such agility I almost stumbled.
"Go," he whispered and I was gone.
I raced through the night, faster than I could have ever believed. I tore out of the dreadful tomb, sprinting wildly through the Ashlands. I let my senses guide me, not even blinking my bloodshot, white eyes as animals that would have once attacked me fled at the sight of the creature I had become.
One didn't flee and I lunged at it, vaguely registering that is was a nixhound. But its skin was tough and its blood sour. It was not what I wanted and I flung it from me, killing it with a single swipe of my delicate female hand. I ran on, chasing down the scent drifting on the almost nonexistent breeze.
Then I found him, a young Breton crouched by a campfire. My vision homed in on him, nothing else existed save for that gentle pulse below his jaw. He looked up as I moved into the firelight.
"Sera?" he asked, a tremor of fear in his voice.
I pounced. He didn't even have time to flinch as my teeth sank easily into his soft flesh. The blood poured into my mouth. Sweet, pure, innocent. The most wonderful thing I had ever experienced. It was laced with his magic, almost like seasoning. This was what I was made for. All those dreams I had, all those plans disappeared as I tasted his warm, beautiful blood. This was what I was meant to do.
As the tangy, copper liquid flowed easily down my throat I closed my eyes, embracing the darkness of my soul.
