A/N: This was just a little plot bunny that got stuck in my head and WOULD NOT GO AWAY! I hope everyone loves reading it as much as I loved writing it. And to clear things up before anyone gets confused: Yes, Merlin is a girl. It's an idea of mine that floats around in a bunch of different ways. I'm writing a chapter fic about it in case anyone's interested, so keep an eye out for it in a while. And they do all know about their past lives, so hope there's no confusion there! Anyhow, enjoy!


It was seven minutes to procession and Gwen was in hysterics. Merlin and Morgana were going mad trying to keep Gwen from accidentally smashing everything in sight.

"But what if it's not exactly perfect? What if I walk down the aisle and he sees me, and I'm not beautiful enough and he changes his mind?" Merlin sighed.

"Gwen…"

"What if, what if he doesn't love me anymore, and he's just waiting to say no at the wedding, because he doesn't want to tell me to my face?"
"Guinevere…"

"What if we do get married, and suddenly he realizes he doesn't love me anymore, and he divorces me? That would be even worse!"

"Guinevere!"

"Oh, no. Oh, no. I can't do this, Merlin. I look, I look…" Gwen glanced at Merlin. "Well, you look gorgeous. Pink is really your color." Merlin tugged self-consciously at the hem of her flouncy pink dress, glancing at herself in the mirror. The pink she could live with, but the flounces… well, even Percival would look better in them than her. They gave the impression of pale, skinny Merlin drowning in a sea of pink. Not a good look. She was snapped out of her reverie by Gwen's continued hysterics.

"Oh, but I look so... so… fat! And ugly, and useless, and I'm probably the ugliest bride in the world, and, and-"

"GUINEVERE RACHEL LEODEGRANCE!" Gwen's eyes snapped open wide; not expecting Merlin to shout with all her tiny body's might. "Don't you ever say such things! Ever! You are the most gorgeous girl in the room- sorry Morgana..." she added as Morgana glanced up in Merlin's direction from where she was kneeling next to the sobbing bride. Gwen sniffed and swiped at her leaking eyes, looking at Merlin with an expression of hope.

"Y-you really think that? I mean, not that you wouldn't think that, because you're so nice, but usually you don't say stuff like that, and- I don't mean to say you're not always nice! You always are, you just don't always show it that way and- No, no, no! I don't mean you don't show that you're nice! That's not what I meant at all! I mean, you're nice, and you're beautiful too, Merlin, and so is Morgana, and, and-" Gwen's rambling was cut off by Merlin pressing a finger to her lips.

"Shush, Guinevere. You always were beautiful, always most beautiful. In every lifetime. All the way back to our first life, in Camelot."

"B-but, Merlin-"

"Gwen. You were. No contest. I was a man and Morgana had that weird slicked back evil hair thing going on. Cause everyone who's evil always has slicked back hair." Gwen laughed weakly.

"You really think that?" she asked again. Merlin smiled and nodded.

"Cross my heart and hope do die." She shuffled to her feet and held out a hand to help her nervous friend up.

"Now. Let's get you cleaned up." Morgana smiled at Merlin, mouthing 'thank you'. Merlin was content to stand on the sidelines and smile as the two hurriedly reapplied Gwen's make-up and speculated on how handsome the groom would be. She said nothing else. She didn't need to. They all just knew.


Three minutes later the three girls, and the three other bridesmaids, Freya, Morgause and Elena were stood behind the curtains fidgeting as they prepared to walk down the aisle. They stood in their allotted order (Gwaine, Merlin, and Leon had joked during the rehearsal that it was military formation, and had saluted whenever Gwen spoke to them): Freya in the front was paired with Percival, Elena behind them with Elyan, Morgause with Leon, Merlin with Gwaine, Morgana by herself (as she was Maid of Honor and the Best Man was already up at the altar with the groom), four flower girls, and Gwen on Uther's arm. As Freya and Percival began to proceed towards the aisle, Uther leaned over to speak to Gwen.

"Guinevere. I know we do not have the best past together. When I-" he paused trying to find a kind way to phrase his next words. Elena and Elyan were walking down now. Seeing no way and having little time, he rushed ahead. "When I unjustly sentenced your father to death, -near seven hundred years ago now-" Seeing Gwen flinch at the mention of her father, Uther winced. "Sorry, so sorry! If I had known that I had sentenced him to death eternally… if I had known I was robbing both of you of the privilege to have him here today…" Morgause and Leon walked now. "Then perhaps I would not have done what I did. I feel it is only just that since the blame lies on my shoulders for your father's… erm… passing, that I be the one to take his place. In this, I hope to be able to begin to make up for the pain I caused you." Merlin and Gwaine began to walk forward. "My son loves you, Guinevere. And for that reason, I love you as well, and hope you shall grow to care for me with just a fraction of the love you cared for your true father. I shall do everything in my power…" Morgana was strolling along now, the flower girls hot on her tail. "…to make sure that you, and my son, live a happy life together. I feel it is my… destiny to do so." Gwen's eyes began to brim with tears for the fifth time in that hour, but this time… they were tears of joy. As she and Uther stepped forward to proceed down the aisle, she looked at him and smiled. A single tear fell from Gwen's sparkling brown eyes.

"Thank you." She said nothing else. She didn't need to. They both just knew.


An hour later, Merlin and Arthur were sat on the edge of the water fountain just out in the lobby. Trying to drown out the sounds of the noisy reception, Merlin buried her head under Arthur's arm. The blonde man chuckled.

"What in God's name are you doing, Merlin?" he demanded.

"Trying... to… not hear… people…" Merlin mumbled sleepily. Arthur shook his head, amusement sparkling in his eyes.

"You are so very strange, Merlin."

"Thank… you... I think…" This time she could hear his chuckling. It rumbled through his chest and made Merlin's face tickle. She gave up on using Arthur as a pillow and emerged back into reality.

"Sooooo tired… nuthin 'gainst Gwen an' Lan… Lancey… Lan-ce-lot? Yeah, thass right. Lan-ce-lot. But I just wan' you to… make your speech so we can go home and… speak… sleep. Whatever iss called..." Arthur didn't just chuckle this time. He threw back his head and laughed.

"Merlin, have you been at the champagne?" Merlin shook her head.

"Nope. But… Gwaine has.' She pointed to a table next to them, and sure enough: There was Gwaine, standing on the table, swaying dangerously, and hollering.

"MESSIEUR! YOUR FINEST WINE FOR THE LADY, PLEASE!" Victoria, Gwaine's latest flame, blushed a shade of red that would've made a tomato jealous. Arthur raised his eyebrows at the sight of the drunken man, who was now attempting to do a jig, but failing miserably.

"Alright, Merlin. He is stranger than you, I'll give you that much." Merlin shook herself out attempting to cast off the last of the fatigue she was nursing.

'Okay, second wind. You can come any day now…' she thought to herself.

"You know what I will never get used to?" Arthur asked.

"What's that?"

"The fact that Lancelot is my brother. I don't know why, but it's just… strange." Merlin rolled her neck to stare Arthur down.

"Really? That's what you'll never get used to? I mean, look at me, I'm a girl, look at the Great Dragon, he's human, look at Uther, he's nice, and you can't get used to Lancelot being your brother? Sometimes I wonder about you, Arthur."

"Well, I have no comment on the dragon and my father, but you being a girl is no shock to me. If I didn't know better, I would've thought you always were one." Merlin snorted.

"Prat.

"Idiot."

"Clotpole."

"…"

"Oh-ho! No comeback? Really, Arthur, I'm rather disappointed in you. You used to always have something, even if it was lam-"

"Merlin."

"Yes?"

"Shut up." She rolled her eyes and looked over at Gwen and Lancelot sitting together, holding hands, and just talking with each other quietly. She realized she must have been staring at them for quite some time when Arthur put two of his fingers in front of her eyes and attempted to trace her line of sight.

"Aha! Ogling my brother are we, Merlin? Always new you loved him more than me. Ever since you bounced up to me – good lord, was that really almost 700 years ago? – you and your scruffy hair and stupid grin, and told me about this Lancelot you knew. Knew you liked him better you little crazy." He teased. When he got nothing but a non-committal grunt in response the mocking smile faded off his face.

"What's wrong?" he asked, simply.

"Oh, nothing. Just thinking."

"Penny for your thoughts?" Merlin continued to watch the bride and groom, laughing at something Lancelot had just said.
"I just… look at them and see... everything I want. They're so happy together. And I want to be happy like that." She quickly looked over at Arthur. "Not that I'm not happy with you! It's just… I want to be that kind of happy. The forever and always kind. And sometimes… it just feels like what we have isn't enough. I mean, you're always writing and touring with all your publicity speeches, and I'm always at college, or teaching, or acting, or something, and- I want it to be enough. I want to be happy like Gwen and Lance. Someday, I want to be a beautiful bride just like Gwen. I want to walk down the aisle and see you smile at me exactly like Lancelot did at Gwen. I want to be just like them, Arthur… but…" Arthur grabbed her face in his hands; his bottomless, stormy blue eyes boring deep into hers.

"Merlin. You listen to me, and you listen close, you hear? I-"

"Arthur!" Morgana's voice called out. "It's time for the Maid of Honor and Best Man speeches!" Arthur let go of her face and growled.

"Damn speech… I… I'm sorry. I'll explain- … I'm sorry, Merlin." He raced off to go speak to Lancelot, leaving a confused, bewildered Merlin behind with a very drunk Gwaine.

"Tori ditch me. 'pparently I'ma addict. She doedn't like tha'" Merlin smiled sadly.

"Arthur ditched me too." Even through his drunken stupor, Gwaine could tell his friend was upset.

"Iss okay, Merls. You got it bette' den me. You don' got such a seris problem. D'you tink I'll ever get bette'?"

"We'll see." She said nothing else. She couldn't; not if she didn't want to lie. And they both knew.


Twenty minutes later everyone was congregated in the main room. Standing at the wedding party's table, Arthur tapped his fork against his wineglass, attempting to get the attention of all the tittering guests. Morgana had already made her speech, and now all eyes were on Arthur. He looked around, and took a deep breath before beginning his speech.

"I've known Lancelot since I was two. He came along, wrapped in a little blue blanket and a baby carrier. My parents told me he was left on the doorstep by the baby fairy. Course I know that was all rubbish now." Everyone laughed. "I remember poking him in the gut and asking my father 'Is he real?'. He started to cry, and it was then that I realized; I had a truly real, breathing, living, crying, baby brother. It was possibly the weirdest experience of my life. As we got older, I started refusing to go anywhere without him. My mother was shocked when she couldn't get me to go to school unless Lancelot came with us in the car. Looking back, I must have been crazy, because he's a right nuisance now." Arthur grinned down at his younger brother, before turning to look at his sister-in-law. "Two years after that, Lance was in first grade, and I was in third. I used to fake a stomachache, or a migraine, or something during Lance's lunch hour, just so I could go down and spend lunch with him; to make sure he wouldn't be lonely, you know? My teacher knew what I was doing of course, and always smiled at me before giving me a hall pass and whispering 'Make sure little Lancelot drinks his milk. It'll make him just as big and strong as his older brother.' It was a lie. He's still not. One day, during lunch hour I found him sitting next to a little girl his age with a big, happy smile and incredibly curly hair. She told me her name was Gwen. I instantly hated her. She was usurping my little brother's time, and no one, I repeat, no one, does that. Eventually, I got to know her, and I realized she was the sweetest little girl in the world. She had a heart of gold. And plus, she used to bring Lance and I chocolate, and chocolate makes up for everything." Gwen giggled.

"Mars Bars, right?"

"Yessssss. Mars Bars make everything better. Anyhow, the years started to float by, we were all in high-school and Lance and Gwen were inseparable. They always had the purest kind of love; the kind that no one could come between, no matter how hard they tried. And it is their love that has inspired me today to do something slightly unorthodox for a Best Man's speech. If you'll permit me, that is." He glanced toward Lancelot and Guinevere. Lance smiled knowingly, and Gwen looked slightly confused, but nodded nonetheless. Arthur took a deep breath and continued.

"Your love has made me realize that love is too precious to let slip away. You've made me turn my eyes inward and see that without love, we all are nothing. So, I have something very important to say before we all leave here today. We all want to be happy. But not just any kind of happy. The kind that Lance and Guinevere are. So here's the unorthodox part: I'm about to partially upstage your wedding." Arthur took another deep breath before turning to Merlin and dropping down on one knee. Merlin gaped. Uther looked surprised. Morgana smirked. Gwen clapped a hand to her mouth. Lance just smiled knowingly. Gwaine was asleep. Arthur ignored everyone, gazing into Merlin's sea blue eyes.

"Merlin Lenora Emrys. Will you be happy with me? Will you make me the happiest man on earth?" Merlin grinned, shocked tears rolling down her face as she nodded as hard as she could without her head falling off.

"Y-yes. Of course." She rasped through her tear-filled voice. "I will."

Every guest in the room stood up and clapped, tears brimming in the eyes of people who hardly even knew the soon-to-be-married-couple. Leon leaned over to Elyan and whispered.

"Best. Speech. Ever." Elyan grinned as Arthur slipped a glimmering engagement ring on Merlin's long, pale finger.

"Took him long enough though, didn't it?" Elyan said, making Leon laugh. Merlin threw her arms around Arthur's neck and whispered:

"Oh, Arthur. As long as I'm with you… I'll always be happy." Arthur smiled. He said nothing else. He didn't need to. They both just knew.


Exactly one year, three months and nine days later, Merlin was sat at a vanity in a back room of the Pendragon mansion. Her two Maids of Honor (she had refused to choose between Gwen and Morgana) were rushing around, adding last minute touches to her hair and make-up. Morgana stuck a family heirloom – a blue diamond hairpin – into her intricately braided up-do.

"Something old and blue." She flashed a dazzling smile. Gwen shuffled up to her other side, handing her a pair of white pumps that Gwen had worn to her own wedding, before holding out a silver charm bracelet with 'Merlin' engraved on it. The first charm was a small white wedding dress. "Something borrowed…" she whispered, gesturing at the shoes. "And something new." She fastened the bracelet to Merlin's dainty wrist. She backed away slightly and smiled shyly. "I don't know if you'll like it, at least I hope you will… not that I'm saying you'd ever be rude and tell me you don't like it! But I just really hope you do… but if you don't like it, I mean, don't hesitate to tell me or anything, and- Oh, you don't like it, I'll just take it back and, and-"

"Gwen." Merlin smiled softly. "I love it."

"Oh… Oh! Okay!" Gwen threw her arms around Merlin. "Oh, you look so beautiful! You've got to be the most beautiful bride in the world! You and Arthur will be so happy, and, and- Oh, I'm so excited! I can't wait to be an aunt and see all your adorable little children running around! Three of them! One with Arthur's hair and your eyes, one with your hair and Arthur's smile, and one with Arthur's nose and your ears! Ooooh, they're going to be so CUTE, and-"

"Gwen!" Merlin laughed. "I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to get through the wedding before I start planning exactly what my children are going to look like!" Morgana giggled from the other side of Merlin. Gwen laughed and smoothed back her hair; smiling sheepishly.

"Right. Sorry, Merlin." The three girls looked at each other for a moment before bursting out into uncontrollable giggles. Just then they were interrupted by a soft knocking. Their heads shot up in synchronization and they all turned and stared at the door. Merlin cleared her throat.

"Um… who is it?"

"It's… Uther." Came the reply. Morgana and Merlin looked at each other for a moment, before Merlin finally took the initiative and answered.

"Oh, well… come in?" The door slowly creaked open, and Merlin's soon-to-be Father-in-Law stepped in. He smiled nervously.

"I, erm, came to see the new lady of the family. You wouldn't mind if I spoke to you for a moment?" Merlin shook her head. He continued to glance at her.

"Oh, sorry, I mean, no I wouldn't mind. Go right ahead." Morgana, sensing this was a private conversation, gently took hold of the bewildered Gwen's arm and steered her out of the room. Uther listened for the sound of the door clicking shut before speaking.

"You must understand that this conversation is slightly awkward for me, as the last time I spoke with you one-on-one you were still a man."

'And you were still a cold-hearted jerk,' Merlin thought to herself.

"I know that at the time, I was not an understanding man, nor an easy man. But I have come here to beg your forgiveness." Merlin glanced down at her shoes.

"Uther. You killed so many of my people back then. You persecuted my family, murdered my kin, and if given the chance, you would've persecuted me. That is something that's pretty hard to forgive." Uther winced.

"I know, I know. But I am not the same man. And I would take it all back if I could-"

"But you can't."

"Precisely. But what I can do, is do my best now to atone for my sins, and-"

"Uh-huh. You've got a lot of atoning to do then." He looked surprised at her blunt words.

"Why, yes. Yes of course. But what I'm attempting to say now is that I would like to make peace with y-" Merlin raised her eyebrows.

"Wow. Peace is in your vocabulary? I'm shocked." Uther said nothing for a moment.

"Are you always quite this infuriating?" She grinned cheekily.

"Oh, yes."

"Dear God, I pity Arthur." His eyes suddenly widened as if realizing his previous words were not a very wise thing to say when attempting to reconcile with his future daughter-in-law. "I-I…" What Merlin did next surprised them both: she laughed.

"Well, I've never seen you completely speechless! But to be perfectly honest, I understand what you're trying to say. And I accept. For Arthur's sake." A warm smile crossed Uther's face

"For Arthur's sake." He whispered back. They said nothing else. They didn't need to. Everyone just knew.