Author's Note: so it's taken me about two years to get the first chapter of this finished with. :-) tell me what you think!

Jason Hogart was twenty-eight. Who would have thought that at the age of twenty-eight Jay would be engaged. Her name was Ally and she was a lawyer. She had graduated from one of T.O.'s most prestigious colleges. She was smart, talented, and didn't lack in wits either. She was very petite with blonde hair and crystal green eyes that at times watched him like a hawk. Alyson Miller and Jason Hogart had met at a grad party for his cousin Julianne. She was sweet and they clicked instantly. She's helped him with completely rebuilding his life. He'd fallen into lust with her, which soon turned into something more. They'd dated since they were twenty-two, both shaping up their lives and making names for themselves for once.

Sean and Jay had opened up a garage and were making a pretty decent amount of money. They had to be, Sean had a family to support. Sean and Ellie were coming up on there five year wedding anniversary with a four year old and a brand new baby. Malacee and Talan were two of Jay's biggest fans, the two children looked up to their uncle. He was so good with them to both Sean and Ellie's surprises. Who would have expected him to be anything like he was ever in a million years.

It was twelve o'clock on a bitter November night. The air was frozen; the first snow had just started to fall. Ally was sound asleep with her back to Jay. Jay looked over her and moved a few pieces of blonde hair out if her face before settling back into his spot. He turned onto his side as a sudden ringing woke him up form the slumber that was gently progressing. He quickly grabbed his cell phone off of the night stand so that it wouldn't wake Ally,

"Hello?"

He answered groggy. He glanced over at Ally noticing that she hadn't even stirred. She'd always been a very sound sleeper. Unlike Alex had been, yet Jay could remember her laying in his arms perfect, the way her frame fit like a puzzle pieces on instant. From the night they'd first had sex at age eleven. She'd been his first time, and for a very long time he'd thought she'd be his always. But things came and went and people changed.

"Ja…Jase"

the voice on the other line was shaky like she had been crying. But no matter what the sound of it he knew exactly who it was and it still made his heart skip a beat. Carefully he got up and left the room trying not to wake Ally up. With the way Alex's voice was so quiet and labored the last thing he needed was Ally to wake up and ask questions. Jay knew right away that something wasn't right, he'd always had that intuition with Alex.

"Lex, is everything ok?"

he asked frantic. He always hated to hear her cry. It had been seven years since he'd talked to her, seven long years of wondering about her whereabouts, when she'd moved to Ajax it'd been the end of them talking. He'd had his rendezvous with Manny and had no idea where she was. Or if she was with male or female for that matter.

"I just… I needed to hear your voice."

She sounded like she was in pain and it scared him, like after all of the beatings when they were younger. He closed his eyes and he could see flashes of all the times Chad had come after her and beat her senseless. Jay had been the one to pick up the pieces of her broken self and try to assemble them back into a whole.

'Lex… is everything ok?"

He asked for fear of her answer. He heard her give out a sigh, before she replied. He had so many flashes going threw his mind but the strongest one was of the time Chad had beat her after the abortion when she was fourteen. Alex hadn't meant for anyone to find out but somehow they had and it'd gotten back to her mother and Chad. He could still recall all of the pain she'd been in previous to the beating. The abortion had been painful in it's self but his Lexxi had always been the tough one. She's mouthed off right back, she'd ended up with two black eyes and what Jay swore was a broken rib the next day.

"Yea, everything is fine. I just… I wanted to hear your voice."

She repeated her throat still sounding like it was going to break as he could tell that she was still crying. As to why she was crying that's what really scared Jay. Alex didn't like to cry and there were very seldom times in her life that she'd actually cried. Even when Chad tried to beat the shit out of her she kept all of the tears locked away inside. The only time he'd seen her really break down was when the truth came out about him cheating on her, after she'd punched Amy and blown up at him. He'd followed her to the beach, he watched her curl herself into a ball in the shore, he knew she was crying that night as she laid under the stars. Knowing better then to bother her he'd gotten smashed instead. Drinking was his one escape from the hell he lived with every day.

"Lexxi please, I know better then that, please tell me where you are?"

He was listening to her coughing now, coughing and hacking and it was almost as though he knew just from that it wasn't all ok like she'd said. She didn't just want to hear his voice she needed him to go to her, to hold her and make it all ok. Lexxi always seemed to come first, even as he sat outside his house with his fiancée inside Alex still made him feel like he needed to rush to her side.

"55 Crestview, in the base housing duplexes, I'm so sorry Jase."

Hearing her mumbling and then the address he couldn't have sat one more second on the porch as he quietly tiptoed back into the house, grabbed his keys to the car off of the end table and raced out to the car forgetting every bit of his new life.

"I'll be there in fifteen, I promise."

Jay said quickly and he noticed her relax a little, her breathing was less ragged and more controlled and Alex like. He still couldn't wait to make sure she was alright and to wrap his arms around her. Though he knew that once he did that it would only be that much harder to let her go again, since it was so difficult the last time he'd done it.

He knew soon as the car turned into the cul-de-sac which house was hers because he could already see the door open in the dark, he could just about make out her figure sitting across the doorway on the floor flipping through a magazine as though it were just another midnight evening. Pulling the car over to the curb and parking in it was actually nervous. He'd never been afraid around her but something told him that all wasn't alright.

She had a black hoodie on, and she never looked up as he shut the car door. Jay knew right then that his worst nightmares were in fact true. Something was wrong and he felt like he was the one that had let it happen, just like when Chad would use her for a punching bag. It'd been something he'd tried to prevent then and hadn't done anything to now. She stood up out of the door way and walked inside still not looking at him as she pushed her hood down. Her raven black hair now fell mid back and looked just as silky in the dark atmosphere then ever.

There weren't any words exchanged or spoken as she turned around and the light from the window lit up just enough of her face for him to see the gash under her left eye and how badly swollen her right one was. There was still dried blood on her bottom lip which was split and torn. Everything about her appearance made him feel guilty. As always she rolled her eyes at him and tried not to smile.

"If I told you that I walked into a door you wouldn't believe me right?"

She said with a knowing said smile.

"Not a chance Lex."

He said still rubbing a light finger over the stitches right above her eye. Before they realized what either of them was doing Alex had gotten lost in his eyes and his mouth was on hers while his hands were caressing the small of her back and hers were wondering around his jeans waist.

The night was spent catching up on old times and remembering what it was like to be alive. He'd missed every curve and crease in her body and he made sure to kiss every spot and rememorize it once again. She hadn't felt more safe in years, there was something about being in Jay's arms that made it all better, made it all worth taking risks. His fiancé and her jealous boyfriend, no one else mattered as they kissed and made love for the first time in years, the only thing she wanted was to have him there and make her forget the hell her life had fallen into.