Disclaimer: I am not the owner of anything Harry Potter, or this song. If I was J.K. Rowling, Sirius would be alive and kicking, as well as Tonks and Lupin.
Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Ev'ry day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
Rose Weasley sighed, her eyes flitting to Scorpius. He was everything she wanted, yet she didn't even know how. The past six years, all they did was argue. Now, working together as Heads, she saw how he'd changed. How he helped people when they were down, no throwing a bitter remark. How he was more tolerant, not following his family's old prejudices. There were times on rounds, when his steel grey eyes met hers, and she had to force herself from kissing him right there. He'd never like her back, she was sure. Never.
She was a perfect girl, Head Girl, top in her class. Just like her mother. That wasn't who she was though. But, she couldn't show herself, she didn't want to disappoint. Rose fooled the world with her games, showing how fair and tolerant she was. Everyone saw her through the illusion she set up. Now, her illusion threatened to break, all because of a little crush on Scorpius Malfoy.
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
Glancing at herself in the mirror, Rose scowled darkly. She hadn't had a boyfriend once, just because she was a bookworm. It was the first Hogsmead trip, and she was sure she was the only single one. Is it because I am ugly? She thought, looking herself over. Her brown hair finally tamed itself into waves and loose curls. Unfortunately for her, the fad was straight hair. Rose didn't believe in using magic to change her hair or appearance. She decided that her hair definitely played a role in the whole single-and-alone mess. Next, she looked at her eyes, which she always thought were too big, taking up her whole face. She liked the color though, a deep blue. She looked over herself, taking in every flaw, her small chest, her barely overweight figure. She hated how she looked, and collapsed on her bed in tears.
Surprised, she wondered what was wrong with her. She didn't recognize how she was acting, normally she didn't care what people thought. It must be Scorpius, this crush was driving around the bend. She just wanted to curl up, and let people see her for herself.
I am now
In a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am
Scorpius would never like her back, she was sure of that. Someday, maybe, she would have the courage to tell him. But not today. It was too hard, opening yourself up like that. Fear of rejection pushed at her temple. Definitely not today.
Besides, her parents always taught her to be a lady. Ladies most definitely did not ask a guy out. She was romantic, she wanted a guy to like her enough to ask her out himself. Gazing at the lake out of her window, she wondered, am I not approachable? Is that why guys steer clear? Do they think I don't want to date? These thoughts hurt. She was seventeen, of course she wanted a date. More than that, she wanted a guy who liked her. Who would send her gifts on Christmas and her birthday, kiss her in the shadows, pamper her on Valentine's Day. Was that too much to ask?
Most of all, she wanted a guy who would love her, bookworm, know-it-all she was.
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
Halloween. Rose glanced at her costume, the one her cousin Lily Potter had convinced her to buy. She was going as an 'emo' Muggle girl. Her black boot came up to her knees, while her black skirt fell with a jagged hem to mid-thigh. The black and purple corset top showed off her curves, making her look slimmer than ever. She smiled, barely recognizing herself. It was all the same, pretending she was someone she wasn't.
She smiled, again, thinking if she could show herself truly, she might keep the top. After all, it did look good. And maybe those purple fishnets. They made her smile.
There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?
Rose walked out of her room, to bump into Scorpius. They shared the Heads Dorms, so she was used to it. Instead of following her good-girl persona she put up, Rose tried to let herself show through.
"Malfoy, like your costume." Rose smirked, glancing at his costume. It was a pirate, with a tight fitting shirt, and loose pants. She liked what she saw. Scorpius just gaped at her, showing more skin then he had ever seen. "Malfoy, stop drooling." With a wink, and a blinding smile, Rose floated out of the room.
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
As she left the room, Rose caught a glance of herself in one of the mirrors in the Common Room. She wasn't pretending anymore, this was more of herself then ever before. She threw her head back, and kept walking.
"Rose?" Scorpius called, his voice soft. Rose turned, and saw him looking unsure, almost self-conscious.
"Yeah?" Rose replied, meeting his eyes.
"Do you want to go to the Halloween feast with me? As a date? You look… alive and real and beautiful." Scorpius murmured, walking over to her. "More like yourself then I have ever seen. Like you knocked down barriers."
"Of course," Rose replied, a huge smile splitting her face. "Of course."
A/N: Avanell and hondagirl, thanks so much for your reviews! They made me feel all happy inside! This is the first fic I ever wrote, so it is nice knowing people liked it. Everyone else: review please!
