Oh, Geoffrey!
Hair the color of summer squash fell out of the tight bun. Muscular arms pulled the mage up into bed. Long scruffy kiss on the bearded lips, marking ever so slightly with crimson lipstick. "I love you, Calill," the voice of the muscleman said. Beauty incarnate was what she believed she was. Their daughter had been taken to the Greil Mercenaries' fort—they were happy to baby-sit for their old friends, while they had a night to themselves.
Plum-colored hair entwined with the blonde locks of the other. This was it—the most intimate moment of all. At first she moaned softly indistinguishable gibberish but soon she had said that little slip—"Oh, Geoffrey!" she screamed.
Largo looked up from his partner inquisitively. "Geoffrey!?" he asked. "As in, General of Crimea, THAT Geoffrey? Well I guess we don't know very many Geoffreys."
"It's not what you think, Largo…" Calill said, "It was only a fantasy. He never knew me." Largo redid his pants, now in no mood to be intimate.
Largo looked back at her and said, "Well, at any rate, I can't believe my own WIFE would rather be sleeping with General Geoffrey than me!"
She paced around the room. "Well, Geoffrey is kind, chivalrous, and loyal. YOU always leave your stuff all over the floor. And you never help take care of Amy. And don't think I didn't see you looking up Lucia!"
"That's different!" Largo insisted, "I'm the man! I'm supposed to be the pervert. YOU aren't."
Calill slapped Largo soundly in the face.
"If General Geoffrey is so damn perfect, why did you marry me instead of him?" Largo yelled.
"Because," Calill said, putting on her high-heels so she would appear taller than Largo, "He's in love with the princess. Oops… I mean queen."
Largo picked up his axe and strolled out the door. "Where are you going?" his bewildered wife asked.
"I'm going to pick up Amy. And then I'm going to get a divorce."
"You… want a divorce?" Calill asked. "Well fine! But you are not getting custody!"
-----
"And what is this?" Soren said while pulling out a card with a sketch on it.
"Fox!" the young child shouted.
"No, we've been through this. This is a desert lynx," he said.
Ike walked in and commented, "You sure are good with kids."
"Well," Soren responded, while blushing, "I just don't want any of them to have to go through what I did."
"That's very thoughtful," Ike said.
Amy looked up at the two young men and asked a very bold question: "Are you together?"
"Uhh…" Ike said, patting Amy on the head gently, "We'll tell you when you're older." Not a chance, he thought, in seven months I'll pop the question and we'll be gone for good.
"Well," Amy said, "You get along better than Mommy and Daddy."
"Well that's because we're friends. Sometimes friendship is stronger than romance, because romance is sometimes done on a whim. Knowing your parents, they probably got married based on looks alone," Soren said, laughing.
"You're almost as pretty as Mommy, Mister Soren," Amy said, "And you're more handsome than Daddy, Mister Ike."
"Why thank you," Ike said, "Muscles are nice but you've gotta know how to work them."
Soren blushed, covering his face, and said, "Do you realize how un-heterosexual you sound right now?"
Hoping Amy would be unfamiliar with the vocabulary, he braved the question, "And is there a problem?"
Ike and Soren both started laughing hysterically. Amy looked at them again and said, "I notice you are very similar to Mommy and Daddy. One is a big strong man. The other one is really pretty and good at magic."
"I'm honestly very flattered that you think I'm pretty," Soren responded, "However, I'd rather not be compared to Calill."
"Yeah, you wouldn't…" came Largo's voice from the outside, "You're as loyal as is humanly possible, and Calill is a cheating bitch!"
"You'd use that language in front of your daughter?" asked Oscar coming into the room. "Even if Calill was an infidel, would it be Amy's fault?"
"No," Largo said, "I guess not. Sorry, Amy. Come on, it's time to go home."
"Moaned Geoffrey's name?" Ike asked Soren on the side.
"Likely explanation."
----
The queen was busy. She had dozed off in her throne. Geoffrey had contemplated moving Elincia to bed, but decided that might wake her and let her stay there through the night.
He knew there were still several weeks leading up to his wedding, but he still wanted to know how her bed felt. Cerulean hair entangled with the lace sheets as he rolled around in the bed. A woman walked by moving toward him. His sister? No, she was too thin. It was dark so Geoffrey thought it must've been the queen, who walked in.
"Uh…" he said, hoping furiously she wouldn't see the maroon coloration on his face, "I can explain…"
"Oh, don't explain anything," the woman said, "Geoffrey, this was fate."
"Your voice sounds different," he said, "You aren't the queen, are you?"
"No," the woman said. "She's in the throne room sleeping."
"Well then what are you doing here?" Geoffrey asked.
"I'm here to screw you like you've never been screwed," she said.
"I haven't. I'm a virgin. I was saving myself for Elincia." Geoffrey said, instinctively clapping his knees together, "And I'd like to keep it that way."
Calill's power hungry attitude shone through. "A man can't be defiled, or ruined. A man can only ruin. And I've been there, done that. And this time, you're mine."
"ELINCIA!" Geoffrey screamed in protest, hoping vainly that it would wake the queen. But even his strong arms were no match for Calill's threat of fire. And in an instant… all of Geoffrey's efforts were wasted. "ELINCIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" he screamed once more. Waking the queen was not going so well.
Calill left a small hickey on Geoffrey's neck before redressing herself and leaving. Geoffrey slinked over to the table and lit a candle. He observed his hickey in the mirror and shouted, "I've been RUINED!"
Even though it was rape, Geoffrey couldn't help but think it was his fault. You shit-eating infidel, Elincia would never want such a disloyal husband, he thought. He cried all night long, unable to sleep or to escape the trauma.
The next morning, Elincia heard soft weeping coming from her bedroom. "Geoffrey! Are you okay?" she asked concerned. Geoffrey tried desperately to hide the hickey from Elincia.
"What is that?" she asked, pointing directly at the hickey. His plans to hide it were not going well.
Geoffrey said, "It's evidence of my infidelity. Last night, Calill… knew me."
"What!?" Elincia asked, "Did she force you into it?"
Geoffrey gave a sullen nod. "How'd you know, Elincia, that I wasn't just a cheating bastard?"
"You were a virgin, Geoffrey," Elincia said, "I wasn't even sure you knew how sex worked."
"That's… reassuring," Geoffrey said sarcastically. "I'd better. We wouldn't want Crimea to die, would we?" Then he came to a grim realization. "Oh, no, oh, Ashera, what if I impregnated Calill?"
"Then that's her fault and she can deal with it," Elincia said. She pulled Geoffrey into an embrace, "It's okay. I want to protect you. I always have and always will."
