Warnings: Crack, flippant treatment of heavy topics (abortion, pregnancy, sexual preference), references to homosexuality, my first fic ever, I probably can't write

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It happened one day that Namba Minami finally got a girl pregnant. He was in college at the time. Luckily, she wanted an abortion.

He was actually seeing four girls at the time. He had to cancel a date with the prettiest one (Kaori) to take the pregnant one (Keiko, with the nicest legs) to the abortion clinic.

He also had to pay the entire seventy thousand yen for the abortion because Keiko overheard him canceling his date with Kaori over the phone.

A week later, Kaori found out she was pregnant, too. He only had to pay half the cost of the abortion this time, because Kaori had already known about his three other girlfriends and didn't mind.

Unfortunately, Namba was already short of cash because he was dating four girls, and he worked in a coffee shop. He used the last of his money on Keiko's abortion, and didn't get another paycheck until a week after Kaori was due to have her abortion.

He tried asking his mother for money. She reminded him that she was paying his college tuition.

So he went to the nurse's office at Osaka Gakuen to find his uncle, who didn't have any kids to have to put through college.

"Is this about that girl you got pregnant?" was the first thing Umeda asked. "Io told me not to lend you any money."

Namba decided honesty was the best policy. "Yes," he said. "Since when have you listened to my mother, anyway?"

He applied his most adorable nephew face, which never worked on Umeda, but he tended to forget about that.

Then he remembered, and applied his super-attractive guy face.

Umeda picked up a chair as a shield. The last thing he needed was to find his nephew attractive. He refused to be a creepy incestuous pedophile.

"Okay, but if you don't pay me back within a month, you'll be paying me back with twenty percent interest for the next twenty years!"

Namba agreed. He would have enough money with his next paycheck, so he had nothing to worry about.

Then his boss underpaid him. He still had enough to pay his uncle back, but he had to cancel all of his dates for the next month.

He flopped on the infirmary bed when he went to pay his uncle back and sighed. "Why are girls so expensive?" he asked.

"Be glad they both got abortions!" Umeda said. "Just think what would've happened if either one of them decided to keep the baby!"

Namba had thought about it. He preferred not to.

"There must be some certain way to avoid getting girls pregnant," he said, wistfully.

"Abstinence and homosexuality are pretty much your only choices there," Umeda snorted.

Namba thought about this comment. He came to a conclusion.

A month later, when he had some money again (extra, even, because he got the stuff his boss had forgotten the month before), he called Nakao.

And that's how Namba Minami ended up gay. Or at least open to seeing guys until he had a well-paying full-time job.