I am sorry this came out way later than I initially promised. I've actually tried to write this in a way that I appreciate more, but to be honest, I'm still kinda conflicted with this. Not to say I think I'm a bad writer, I just honestly think I could do so much better. And considering I actually want to put a cap on this series, the finished product may not even reflect what some of my "readers" expected. Some more attentive readers may notice that the movie timeline may not be reflected perfectly in this one shot. Yes, it's done on purpose.
Part II will be updated eventually. I'm still not certain if this will become a 3 part series. I actually saw War for the Planet of the Apes(which I cried...alot). I am trying to figure out how I can incorporate Rona into the story of WftPotA, but am falling kinda short. I hope this is satisfactory, especially considering the wait.
The room was dusty. It had a musty, old smell that was inescapable. By no means was it dark, as holes in the ceiling allowed for some light to come through. That made me feel a little better.
It was odd being back. But being back didn't give me any sense of familiarity. There was so much missing here, and I knew one day it would all just disappear. So was it worth trying to find familiarity?
I stepped closer to Caesars dresser, rubbing my eyes as I passed through dust that floated in the air. I opened the drawer I remembered putting my memories into.
There it was. Brown, a little rotten, but intact. Careful not to damage the journal anymore than it already was, I pried it open. Out slipped a photo. There was me, Caesar, Uncle Will and Grandpa.
I looked so much more meaty back then I thought as I rubbed the dulled and dusty print. I couldn't help but look at my poor wrist. Skin and bone now.
I bit my lip, remembering the night we had taken this photo. I remember how ticked I was about something Caesar did. What was it-oh right. He had taken my bra and underwear while I was in the shower and decided to parade around the house like he was the second coming of Rupaul.
I giggled, wiping a tear away. It was so sweet yet….I couldn't help but pause, my eyes shifting up. It was like my body was telling me I had some nerve being childish at a time like this. Giggles are for the dead, those that lost the biological battle, who were gunned down or beaten. They were safe, wherever they were. Just like the Captain had instilled in me and all my comrades.
But screw it, screw it all. This was the first time I giggled so splendidly in years.
I would make this moment mine before I returned to the real world.
I placed the photo next to me and pulled the journal open more, being careful not to break the spine, though it was evident it wasn't too far off from breaking on its own.
I could barely make out most of the words, my penchant for using pencil instead of ink coming back to haunt me. But I could surmise most of what I had written, I mean, I had been the one to write everything in it.
Malcolm had said we wouldn't move for quite some time, given that Caesar needed rest to recover….
My mind made up, I started moving my eyes along the threads of memory laced within this expiring book.
Part I
The feeling of end, is either met with adulation or melancholy. And surely, this was not a time to be depressed. And surely, one would think that taking the next step in one's life would be exalting. So why was it, that upon the date I was to pack my bags and leave Medford, Oregon and migrate to San Francisco, I felt more emotions than an angst ridden teen?
Mom had said it might be scary, and to rescind any self-doubt and remember just who I was staying with during my, hopeful, four year endeavor. And though that made things better, one can't help but look too far into the future. But I would try, for myself and for those I loved.
A soft knock on my door brought me out of my thoughts.
"Come in" I said gingerly and resumed packing my belongings into the various labeled boxes in my room.
My mother, a beautiful, extroverted woman, entered, a phone to her ear.
"Ah ha, I understand Will...no thi-don't start Will. I'll have her at the station soon. Please be there, you know how pissed I get when you're late...no excuses Will!" her mother said with aggravation present in her voice.
I lingered on that voice, before continuing my ministrations. I waited until she had hung up on Uncle Will before turning back to her.
As she hung up, she couldn't help but sigh "Huh, there's a reason I haven't remarried, blame it on the incompetence of sperm donors. You're uncle's just exemplary of incompetence, despite being incredibly smart. Oh, just remember Rona, you're fine to experiment, but-"
"Alway wear a condom" we said in unison, giggling at one another's silliness.
"That's my girl. Well, your uncle Will will meet you at Transbay. Your things will come along promptly after"
"Like in a month?" I murmured.
"Hey!...More like two" she said, giggling once again. I shook my head and taped up the last box I had packed.
We stood in silence for a moment, a rarity for my mother. I would never say she was a perfect mother, none are really. No matter how much you can argue, everyone has some sort of flaw. It doesn't matter how well the light glimmers when you first meet that person, or how cherished that dying aunt might be. Everyone has flaws, but that doesn't mean we can't love people for who they are. And that's just how I felt for my own mother.
I turned to her and embraced her. Our cheeks we pressed together, and I felt a tear slide onto my cheek.
"You've done so well, and gotten so far. Further than me, and I'm so proud of what you've done for yourself. Remember though Rona, don't ever change just because the world wants you to. Continue to grow for you."
I would hold onto those word forever, and someday, I thought, they would surely come in handy.
Part II
It took only a few hours for the train to arrive at Transbay, and as it approached the magnificent city, home to the Golden Gate Bridge, a twinge of excitement was thrust upon me and lifted me from my mixed emotional stupor. It was starting, it was really starting and nothing could change the uphill of empowerment I was feeling! SFSU here I come!
I was wrong. I was so damn wrong. The world hated me, I just knew it.
"Is it always like this?"
"Only at this hour" Uncle Will said as he swerved to the left. We had been on I-80 momentarily before my life flashed before my eyes. Medford wasn't like this, people were civil, sane drivers. It was land of pine and dirt under your feet, not opioids and constant parties, which San Fran evidently was based on the way everyone drove here.
I shuddered, and I think Will did to.
It had taken us an hour, a whole blood soaked, dog-eat-dog, hour before we had finally reached the outskirts of San Francisco. And it was such a relief. It was hard to believe I would have to go into the city. Every. Single. Day. Luckily my classes were mostly in the morning, with the exception being one hiking elective that I was all but too happy to participate in. Not to mention it took up only half of the semester, so I wouldn't be too bogged down with my academics.
So deep in my thoughts, I did not notice Uncle Will becoming increasingly...squirrely. When I did notice, it appeared he too was deeply lost in his thoughts….in fact that was something that was all but too common in our family, mostly among he and I, which was probably why we got on so well. But this was, different. He jittered a little, shook his head, clearly in dialogue with himself. This wasn't the first time I'd seen him shut himself in...himself? That came out wrong.
I pondered if this had something to do with Grandpa's condition. I had come to accept the inevitable some time ago, but with all this restlessness, I wondered if something had happened that Will hadn't told my mother or I. So I emboldened myself, and asked "Uncle Will? Are you ok?"
That seemed to slap him out of his own mental stupor, and he gave me a charming smile as he focused his full attention on driving.
"Yeah. Why?" he asked, as though he thought I hadn't noticed.
"It's just...you're acting strange"
"W-well Rona, I can tell you...that all is well. I'm just happy you're here and ca-"
"Has something happened to Grandpa?" I inquired bluntly.
He stiffened, and I could see him grip the wheel tighter. But he quickly loosened himself.
"To be honest, Rona, yes. He has gotten somewhat worse since the last time you and Ella saw him. But! But, I'm working on it" was all he said. And I knew not to question further. But I couldn't help but think there was something else he wanted to confess to me. Nevertheless I understood if now wasn't the time, or the place. I would let it be and wait until he felt more comfortable with himself and me.
"You couldn't have told me about him in the car?!" I exclaimed, rushing out of the house.
No, this wasn't real. Don't they kill people? Uncle Will had to be smarter than this, didn't he hear about that lady that had her face torn off a few years ago? That could be all of us in NO time!
"Rona you need to calm down, PLEASE just listen to me...don't call your mother" he begged as he rushed after me.
I stalled before turning to face him.
"You had every opportunity to tell both of us about this! Will you're smart, you're an adult, why let it live here?" I demanded to know. Grandpa did not deserve this. Sure, Will could live however he wanted to, but not with Grandpa in the house.
"Zoos are a thing ya know" I exclaimed.
Will rolled his eyes, and rubbed his bearded face. He clasped his hands together, almost as if in prayer and said "I know. And I realize the dangers this may pose. But Rona, you have to believe me when I say I know what I'm doing. He isn't like a 'normal' ape. He's different"
"Doesn't every beat up girlfriend say that about their maniac of a boyfriend?" I was honestly getting upset with myself, but it is not everyday you walk into a house and see an actual ape living in it.
I could tell Will was getting annoyed, but he had to understand.
"Listen, just trust me Rona." He begged, again. And at that moment I knew how serious he was. Will did not beg. He did not cower. If anything he praised, which could be aggravating, but it was usually with good intention.
So, I did. And from that point on, my life would never be the same again.
It was certainly an adjustment. At first, Caesar was explicitly interested in me. EVERYTHING about me. The first few weeks, I mostly spent time with Grandpa Charles, but that always meant I was spending time with Caesar. I had asked Grandpa to watch him, make sure he didn't come near me until I was absolutely ready to engage in activity with the chimp. And he complied, but forgot. Not often, but it could not be helped if he did.
The worst encounter between Caesar and I occurred the third week I was in the Rodman residence.
Will was at work, so Grandpa had babysitting duty. We had decided to eat breakfast on the backyard patio. Carrying our food item bit by bit, I noticed Caesar following ever so close to me. I had gotten somewhat more used to the hairy child-thing, but still had some ways to go. The memory of readings and news had stained my mind with bad vibes about chimps. From afar, they were a fascinating and almost bewildering species. Up close, and from the standpoint of a civilian, your mind instantly went into fight or flight. At first, every move the baby chimp made, had my hairs standing on edge. Now, I could at least breathe with him next to me.
Caesar looked up at me, and fiddled with his hands. Sign language. He was signing something to me, and I had to admit, it was pretty darn cute. I gave him a small smile, before going into the well polished kitchen to grab our cups of orange juice. Those were the last food things we needed out on the patio. Caesar continued to sign to me, then he pointed right at me. I had no clue what he was signing, but was to cinch what he meant from Grandpa.
As I settled into my chair, Caesar jumped into his own. He stared at me and signed the same sign again. I looked to Grandpa, who hardly noticed Caesar. He was far too focused on his newspaper.
I looked back at Caesar, hoping to gauge something from what he was signing. It was somewhat familiar to me, and I could make out a 'grab' motion, but that was it.
I lifted my hand, and balled it into a fist, before flattening my other hand, and sticking a peace like sign to Caesar.
Shouldn't have done that.
Because the next thing I knew, Caesar appeared to giggle at me, and like lightning jumped into my lap and grabbed my breast.
I think the entirety of San Francisco heard me scream as though Satan had come to drink my blood.
One would think that after being molested by a baby ape, one wouldn't be inclined to stay in the same house as said ape. But I found myself in a forgiving mood after the incident, even going as far as to laugh at the whole thing.
Will had explained to me that Caesar had been signing 'milk giver' to me. He had recognized my breasts as a source of nutrition, much the same way he would had his mother still been alive.
Which, yes, Will had divulged Caesars sad history to me. Born in a lab, and orphaned not too long after birth, Caesar only knew Will and Grandpa as the only family he might ever have. It was more instinctual that he recognize me as 'milk giver', because that's what he would have done with his own mother. It's what I surely did with my own mother at infancy, and of course the same was to be said for anything that drank milk from its mother.
It still existed, that need to remain on high alert whenever I was around Caesar, but after Will told me about Caesar, his research, what it could do for sufferers of Alzheimer's, my view of the Rodman household changed.
I only had a few weeks left before I started at SFSU, but in that time I took up researching apes and sign language. And of course I asked Will and Grandpa to teach me.
"So this means 'I understand', not this?" I signed for Will. He observed my hands.
He nodded, "Correct. It can be hard, I know. Some of the signs have just a hint of difference from others. Kinda like the english language. There are words so close, one would think them interchangeable. But the diversity and complexity of any and all languages proves just how withstanding our ability to communicate is, and just how pronounced the evolution of language is. You'd do well to take up sign language for your GE. You've been catching on quick" he suggested, sipping on his coffee.
It didn't take me long to think that over. In fact that same day I checked my registration account, only to find one, VERY, lucky seat in ASL 1, and immediately opted out of Spanish 1.
As a few more days went by, something extraordinary occurred, that to this day I believe cemented my relationship with Caesar.
It was a day off for Will, and I was determined to make the most of the day. I only had a couple of weeks left before the start of school, so spending time with my family was of the utmost importance.
Of course, spending time with Uncle Will ensued him quizzing me on the signs I had learned, and just to benchmark what else I needed to learn.
"Trust me, by the time you're done with college, you'll be an ASL pro. You'll top your professor for sure" Will said as he sipped his wine.
The Rodmans were known strictly as wine people. Beer was a displeasure and only few craft beers were agreeable to us. Sure, I may be eighteen, but wine was a delectation for all ages to enjoy...just a dime drop is fit even for your infant, I would, of course, only recommend this to the most mature of parents.
"Not if professor kill first" I signed. Botched, but comprehensible.
Will chuckled at that, "Indeed".
As we continued, I heard the pitter, patter of Caesar coming toward us. We were sat in the enclosed side patio. Glass surrounded it, and sun peaked into the patio ever so delicately.
I looked over Will's shoulder, as he pondered more sign we should go over, and saw Caesar reach for the doorknob and open the slightly creaky door.
The baby ape looked at us, and planted himself in the seat next to mine, gazing back and forth; taking in the situation as he always did. He had grown marginally since I arrived. Soon enough he'd be too big to carry around.
"Ok, how about a conversation about...what animal you like most" he grinned.
I rolled my eyes, "Ok, Uncle Will. What animal you like'?"
"I like many animals, but my favorite is the cougar" he signed. He had the most serious expression on his face as he began signing.
I thought over his hand gestures, and asked him to slowly repeat.
He did, and I caught a bit more of what he signed, but that last sign. It must have been the animal he liked. I thought it over. In some ways it resembled "cat", but if it were a cat it was a specific breed. I shook my head.
"Don't know the animal" I signed, getting somewhat pissed. At myself, of course.
Will shrugged, and reached for his cell phone. But Caesar reached out, and stayed his hand. Will paused and signed "You want to teach her?".
Caesar nodded and with a quick "Yes!" bounced out of his seat and trotted out of the patio. A few moments later he came back with a wildlife encyclopedia and pushed it toward me.
He made the sign again, grabbing my arm for attention and proceeded to flip the book's pages to C.
Caesar scanned the pages, before letting out a small 'woo' and made the sign again. He then pointed to an image on the page. OH.
So I made the sign, just like he did and said "Cougar. So your favorite animal is a cougar? My favorite animal is a horse." Simple, but true.
Will sniggered. I squinted my eyes, unsure why he found this in jest. It clicked almost immediately.
"I should call mom and tell her you're telling dirty jokes and are being a bad influence" I snickered back and held up the nearly full glass of wine.
That shit eating smirk dissolved effectively. Yeah, thought so Will.
Reeling myself in, I turned to Caesar, who looked up at me very...admirably? And brought my hand up to my mouth.
"Thank you."
"Following the coordinates, you can see that the expedition took them to the top, however, these markers indicate where each member of the team fell. To this day, Rob Hall's body hasn't been retrieved, however there have been attempts to locate his body; such as by the Imax team that located his body on May 23rd of the same year. We will finish up with this region with an exploration of tragedy on K2, and then look into weather and geographical anomalies of Africa next week. Class dismissed" Professor Mischelin announced.
Why did I decide to take my history GE on natural tragedies? This was a somewhat depressing, but fascinating class. But I'm not keen to traverse large scale mountains. College started a month ago, and I had adjusted well, unlike my new friend Mara Rose.
She was a perky little thing, but did not often times come across as an extrovert. Hailing from North Dakota, she was pale and unaccustomed to the sometimes violent heat of California.
"But it's fine, I chose this. And it's nice to actually see diversity" she had told me after I asked her why she would brave the west.
I would find that as the semester went on, that I could rely on Mara Rose. This would only become more of a prevalent fact as the years went by.
Part III
It was in my third semester that the shape of reality seemed to just...change. I found myself spending more time with Caesar than anyone else, aside from Mara. In terms of growth, he had seen his growth spurt, but Uncle Will assured me he still had a couple of more years to technically fully mature.
It was strange. At this point, Caesar and I had grown so used to each other. I would even say that I loved Caesar as a family member.
There were times that I would of course become irate with the chimp. Several times in the past he had taken it upon himself to show the entire house my panty and bra collection. Will had, thankfully, reimbursed me for the several ripped undergarments.
He was so many things, more than anyone would ever think a chimp capable. Intuitive, creative, exploratory.
Especially exploratory. One year after I arrived, Will had thought it the greatest idea to take Caesar the Muir Woods. Though a highly intelligent ape, the instincts of a climber resided in Caesar.
Upon reaching the woods, Grandpa was adamant about letting him go free,
"Take him off the leash"
Will looked to me, and in his eyes I could see my mother's own eyes. Concern, nurturing, a need to succor. But I smiled, and gently released Caesars small, soft hand. He looked to me, a grin on his face, and in his eyes, and did something that struck warmth into my heart. He hugged my legs, with slight and clement pressure. He let go and went on, pulling Will along as he rushed to Charles.
"There's a place up ahead" I heard Will say from afar.
It felt so natural, both for Caesar and us. Such little time we had to spend with one another, and this was surely to be one of all of our most prized memories. And as Caesar was released, to be himself in an otherwise strange environment, I could not help but ponder what lay ahead for this strange and gentle family. Then I sucked in the beautiful, effervescent forest and felt at peace.
Part IV
It was only a few days short of being the 3rd year that I resided at the Rodman house. Though San Francisco remained somewhat of an enigma for me, it had grown on me. The concrete metropolis was sometimes smelly, and bizarre, but it had a quality of life that I suppose only those that live on the west coast understood.
At this point, Caesar was nearly as tall as me. The days and nights up until this point had been filled with sweet and tender moments. Nights of a small and then large ape getting into bed with me, whether it be because he was frightened or simply needed cuddles. Reading together, and conversing in sign language.
By this point, my fascination with apes had grown exponentially and thus I declared my major in biology with an emphasis on primatology. I had even acquired an internship via the San Francisco Zoo. Of course Will would turn this into an opportunity to see his new paramour, Caroline, as often as possible. She was a kind person, with a striking appearance and passion for the art of veterinarian.
As the days went on, I couldn't quite pin it, but Caesar had developed a sense of existentialism. Some time after I had arrived it had begun, when he had wandered into the neighbor's yard, attempting to play with the kids and had faced the first instance of someone completely distinguishing him from a human. Of course I realize how hypocritical that may seem, considering I had completely associated him as a potentially blood lusting, violent creature. But every time I looked into Caesar's eyes, there lay the soul of a creature desperately searching for validation and acceptance. But the world would come to treat dear Caesar as though he were just an….animal.
As he aged, this became more and more apparent to him, and on one particularly eye opening day in the Muir Woods, it seemed to truly set in.
I held his leash in my hand, waiting at the bottom of an enormous tree, texting Mara Rose mindlessly about her upcoming paper on Plotinus. It was just Caesar and I at the moment, as Will had to rush back to his car to get his phone.
I finished my text and glanced up. Though I could not see him, I felt assured that Caesar was fine, though possibly on the cusp of doing something mischievous.
Suddenly I heard a grunt, and felt a rush of air next to me. Before I could even comprehend what was happening a muscular pair of arms had wrapped themselves around me, lifting and bringing me into a chest of cotton.
I giggled, and patted Caesars arm.
"Listen, I might be tiny, but I promise I can take you on when I'm standing. Don't underestimate my might" I said, pushing his chest away from my face. Caesar replied with a haughty gruff and loosened his grip, before pulling me down to sit with him.
I flicked away some branches and leaves that had gathered all over him, "We get back to the house, you're getting a bath" I signed perfectly.
Caesar smirked and rubbed his knuckles over his mouth before signing, "I'll just roll in mud after you get done!"
My mouth dropped, "I'll hose you down with the pressure hose then! You won't like that will you?"
The glare he gave me was sure to be embedded in my head forever. It quickly melted into content as he scooted closer to me and put his large head on my shoulder. I let him rest as I stared out into the wood. Without even looking I had grasped his now enormous, callous hand into my own.
A few minutes later Will came into view, waving us down and signing "Sorry to rush you! Gotta get home to check on dad!"
Caesar snorted, burying his head behind my back.
I rolled my eyes and stood. Caesar plopped down onto the grassy floor, grasping my ankle.
"No, we gotta get going. I'll bring you back in a couple of days. We gotta check on Gramps" I said as I grabbed his hand attempting to hoist him up.
With one more grunt, Caesar brought himself up, looking at my hand with disdain as I raised the leash and collar. I brought it down for a moment, letting him adjust to the inevitable.
"I know. I hate this to, and I can't imagine how it must feel from your point of view. But we have to do this for your safety. I promise as soon as we're in the car, this damned thing comes off" I signed giving him as succoring a smile as I could.
It took him a moment, but he relented and raised his chin. I fastened the collar around his neck and held the leash as far from his view as possible.
As us three ventured down the path, an incredulous woman shouted "Is that a chimpanzee?" as her dog began to bark insanely. I could understand why, but did that woman not realize her gawking and dogs mad barking would only cause more tension? Did any human ever take a second to truly think over their actions and words? In some cases, yes, but not always. We're creatures of curiosity and adventure, as well as caution. For many, sometimes the need to take baby steps was an impossible feat. And I wished that that woman had just stared from afar and whisked her canine bearing dog away.
As the dog continued his barking and the woman just stood there, it was becoming obvious that Caesar was agitated. And he showed it. He turned to the small beast, let out a wild hiss, bearing his own incredible canines.
A flash of fear erupted in me. He looked so dangerous. In that moment, he looked like he could kill. My owns selfishness told me that that woman might be next, then me, then Will.
But as soon as he turned around and looked at me with sorrow, as though my hand were a butterfly, Caesar grasped my hand and lead me away.
I did not look back, but simply grabbed Will's hand as we escaped the forest.
I suppose it couldn't be helped, that after that day, Caesar tried desperately to rid himself of the "leash" that had been cast unto him. He would look at himself in the bathroom mirror, and try to square up, as though to show himself that he had some sort of quality unlike the dog in the woods.
I didn't know what to say to him, to be honest. How could I? I tried, of course.
I tried to console him, give him reassurance that he was different and that he shouldn't blame himself for feeling out of place. I told him, to some extent, I understood the internal plague he was going through.
But all Caesar would do was nod and hold me.
Part V
The end of the semester came so quickly. My final year of college would be here in no time really. With that said, I had decided to take a trip to Medford to visit mom.
I felt some hesitancy, as things in the Rodman house had been tense lately.
"I think you should go" Uncle Will encouraged.
"But what abou-" I was interrupted by Will's hand.
"We will be fine Rona. You haven't seen your mother in nearly a year, and who knows how much longer you'll even be on the west coast. Go to her" he urged.
As I packed my bags, Caesar came into my room and sat on my bed. I looked up, and wasn't too surprised to see discomfort written on his face.
"Why do you have to go?" he signed. He meant well, but I felt melancholy seeing his long face. But I put on a smile, as I tended to around Caesar whenever he felt sore.
"Because my mother misses me" I signed and instantly regretted it. I should have just said something like 'because I'm going to see someone' or 'Because I have something to do'. But the insensitivity of my words hit Caesar. The aching on his face showed, thus I abandoned my luggage and clambered on the bed next to him, bringing Caesar close to me, hoping to calm him.
"I'm sorry Caesar. I'm not deserting you. I never will. I'm going to come back, and I promise I'll do everything I can to make you happy. Ok?" I asked, rubbing his arm serenely.
I watched as Caesar brought his hand to my forehead, and pressed his knuckles to my forehead.
My mother was ecstatic to know I would spend most of the summer with her. We had planned quite the vacation; Alaska, maybe a trip to NYC. But in the beginning, it was all about reminiscing and loving one another as mother and daughter. She had done so much for herself since I had left, worked on a book, found a wonderful woman named Louise who she shared a deep and beautiful bond with. I couldn't have been happier for her.
It was the third week into my stay in Medford. I was packing for Alaska when it seemed as though the entire world just...shattered.
I was basking on the back porch, reading, when my phone lit up. Too comfortable with my recreation, I ignored it for the time being. Had I known of the urgency and importance of that call, I would have picked it up. I would have known of the terrible things that were transpiring. I wouldn't live to regret.
An hour or so later I listened to the voicemail that would halt every movement, every sound.
"R-Rona! Pick up, please!...listen something happened with Hunsiker. Caesar attacked him, it's all over the news...I don't know where to go from here Rona. Dads a mess and I-I think I might have to surrender Caesar. Please Rona call back as soon as possible" a click came through the speaker, and the robotic instructional voice said something I didn't comprehend.
I immediately set myself into a haze of a rush. I packed the essentials, calling mom time, after time expressing my sincerest of apologies and asking her to try and understand what had happened and why I needed to promptly and unexpectedly leave for San Francisco.
Hopping into my car, I sped off, going at as sane a speed as I could. It took me longer to reach San Francisco because of the high volume of accidents and tourists arriving in the area. It was 5am by the time I reached the Rodman house, and I was greeted by a mass of reporters.
I honked and tried to shove my car through, but to no practical avail, so I left my car on a curb and rushed my way through the crowd. Dozens of questions were thrown my way, but I ignored all, and slipped into the house. It was quiet. A dime could drop and it might be heard throughout the entire house. I pressed forward into the lit kitchen. There Will sat, his head deep in his large hands. I dropped my backpack on the floor and wandered over to his silent form, and hugged him. He didn't pull away, or flinch. All Uncle Will did was reach his left hand across his shoulder and held my right hand in a tight clinch.
The next day Uncle Will took me to...that place. It smelled of rotting will, felt like breakage. This "sanctuary" was where Caesar was taken. And I firmly believed it wasn't where he belonged.
Upon finding out what had happened, I went into a blind rage. I was so ready to gallop over the Hunsiker residents and rip his limbs from his joints. How dare he, how dare everyone!
The event caused such an immense shift. Grandpa had looked so lost when I arrived. Barely inconsolable, I left his bedroom feeling as though the world was crushing me into an immovable place. Finding out where the state forced Caesar to live only pounded my emotions even further into a dark place.
Some moron, Dode? Don? I don't really care, escorted Will and I into a heavily cage area. The noise was immediate and deafening. Chimps, bonobos, and orangutans. This was no place for them. They didn't deserve this. They were animals of the forest, meant to be among green, vines and fresh, humid air. And I saw that pathetic "play" area. It made no differences. What did anyone outside of Will or I care? Each of these unbelievably wonderful, intelligent creatures was considered a menace to society, and thus deemed necessary to be placed in such hubris of man. A cage did not befit the cousins of man. And with the help of Will, we would hopefully be able to get Caesar out of this odoriferous, malevolent place. And if it went even further than that, perhaps I could...someday. In time.
So caught up in my disgust, I did not notice Uncle Will raise his fist to the face of that smug muck of person.
"AH!" I heard and turned to see our escort on the ground, wiping his pale face.
"You son of bitch!" I heard Will say, practically ready to leap on Dodge and smash his face into the pavement.
Scrubbing his face, Dodge replied "That was not a smart thing to do".
I rushed over, grabbing his arm before he did anything worse. Thank all gods that he stopped.
Dodge turned his attention to me, giving me a grotesque, blood smeared smirk "But it was a smart thing to bring her along. Mind giving me a hand angel?".
He drew his hand up, offering it to me.
I walked over him toward Caesars cage.
I heard Will say something else to Dodge, but found myself focusing only on Caesar.
Still dressed in his burgundy shirt and black pants, he face the wall, hunch over.
I waited moment, hoping he'd just turn. Show any sign he still trusted humans. I knew he knew I was here. As I crouched I noticed him give me the slightest of looks, but he kept himself to the wall.
I felt tears beginning to well up in my eyes, but held them back. No weakness for Caesar. I wanted to show him I would be there for him. This was not a goodbye, more like a promise to help him.
Another few seconds went by before I spoke "I can't say I know how you feel. And I don't know if you'll ever forgive me for leaving you. But Caesar...I love you. You're so important to me, and to Will and to Grandpa. Nothing will ever take our moments away, our love. Not even these barriers will take that away...Caesar, you have to know I will do everything I can to get you out. And I only ask that you wait just a little longer. I love you Caesar, and even though you might not love me a lot right now, I just want you to know that" I finished. He had only shifted his head again, showing me he was listening.
"Rona we have to leave" I heard Will say beside me. I could hear Dodge in the background spewing mouthfuls of hate. We were sure to be kicked out.
I nodded and brought myself up. I turned around, but before I could take another step, a familiar, rough hand touched my fingers.
More tears began to form and I stifled a sniff. Crouching back down, I placed a tender kiss on Caesars knuckles. His eyes were swimming with hurt, more so than I'd ever seen, but there was absolute love and appreciation within them.
"Love you to Rona. Don't forget that"He signed and sighed heavily, tightening his grip on my fingers.
"You to! Get out of here" a bloodied Dodge yelled, causing the other apes to go into a raucous.
I sniffed, and rubbed forehead on Caesars knuckles "I'll see you later Caesar" I signed.
Caesar nodded and nervously let go of my hand.
The more you grow up, the more you come to realize that while Earth has plenty of good things going for it, the life of an upcoming adult can easily show a new reflection on the meaning of life.
While tragedy befalls us at any moment, I can easily be one of the ones to say that only in my recent history had I started truly understanding the griefs of life.
Stood beside me were my mother, and Will in front of a grave, whose tombstone read "A father, grandfather and friend to many. Here lies a great and wonderful man, Charles Rodman".
The sun shined much the same way my grandfather had, giving me security he was with all of us. If only this had been the end of tragedy in my life. But now, I knew better than to expect life to just hand me grace.
Uncle Will was beside himself with guilt. A day after the burial, I left the house to retrieve provisional for the week, and came home to the sound of breaking glass.
"I was too late Ella! Too late. I couldn't do it! I-just" He would stop, and pick up something else to throw.
"WILL STOP IT!" mom rushed from the kitchen, encircling her arms around Will, who was still in a rage. After a moment of breathing, he calmed. But he quickly melted into a sobbing mess, legs seemingly broken, and slid to the floor with my mother, who rubbed his arms, and pulled her brother to him.
It was quiet after that, and I couldn't help but think about how Caesar would react to hearing his beloved Charles had passed on.
A few nights later, the house was filling with more positive energy. No longer was there an air of deep grief, but rather an uplift. Memories poured out, as wine and mead or two were passed between the three of us. We had come together in a time of sadness, as it should be when a beloved family member or friend passes. Albeit, the alcohol had much to do with the change, but whatever helps I suppose.
The reminiscing between brother and sister was a joy, and I loved hearing about the arguments, the fights, the naughty nature the two had growing up. But it wasn't bittersweet, in the least bit. And I couldn't have been happier for what was left of my somewhat eccentric, strange family. Yet there was still an emptiness, a hole that needed to be filled.
Mom had learned about Caesar real quick. Questions flew out of her mouth the minute she saw various photos littered about the house.
"Of all the things to bring into the house Will, an ape was not something I would have thought...sane. But, whatever" she shrugged and asked a litany of questions about Caesar, many that I was incredibly happy to answer.
Will had informed both of us how his reunion with Caesar recently went.
"He's ok, isn't he?" I immediately asked.
Will paused, chewing his bottom lip "I don't know, if our relationship will ever be the same again Rona. I told him about grandpa. I could feel just how shocked he was, but he refused to even look at me"
"Why didn't you bring me with you?" I demanded to know.
"Because I couldn't bare to have you both disappointed in me" he responded, taking another swig of rose wine.
After a few more hours of drinking and conversing, Mom and Will were slumped over one another. With the two so close to one another, I couldn't help but compare their faces. They were certainly alike, but Mom had more of Grandma's features. A more feminine, round faced Will if you will. Same nose, eyes. They had certain tendencies that were the same to I noticed. Both would get so sarcastic, and twitch their eyebrows, this became rather evident when they had some inside joke they didn't want any else knowing about. It was kind of endearing really.
The chilled air of summer came through the opened windows, and I noticed Mom move closer to Will, seeking his warmth. I quietly rushed down stairs, into the basement, to retrieve a light fleece, and walked back upstairs to throw it over them.
Few lights were on in the house, and no noise came through the windows. Looking over at the cable box, it read 2:22 AM. It felt like 2:22 AM. With a quick stretch, I started up the stairs, ready for a much needed rest.
After doing everything one needed to do in order to get ready for bed, I sat, reading over some last minute messages from Mara.
Creak Creak Creak
I paused, turning off my phone, but kept it in my hand.
Creak creak creak
That was odd. I looked out the window. No heavy wind. Just a light breeze.
Creak
That was deliberate. Not in threes.
My bedroom was close to the back of the house, and that's where the noise seemed to be coming from.
Feeling a twinge of fear, I got up and headed downstairs, turning the flashlight on my phone on.
I headed toward the kitchen and slid open the glass door. I stood inside the mesh door, not feeling confident enough to go outside.
Creak creak
The noise started out loud, but softened. Moving my phone around, I finally noticed the swing moving back and forth, as though someone had just been in it. Now things were starting to get scary. My first thought was a ghost, and I desperately clung to the thought that Grandpa had gone to his next life in peace.
Tap Tap plop
Ok, whatever was in the backyard, was now, I'm quite sure, in my room. Walking back into the living room, I paused, wondering if I should wake Uncle Will….if I could wake Uncle Will.
Instead, I opted to grab the baseball bat in the small cubby under the stairs and made my way upstairs toward my room.
I slowly headed toward my room, making sure to avoid any squeaking floorboards I knew about, and finally stood in front of my door. Taking a sharp breath, I busted the door open, and immediately dropped the baseball bat.
It was his silhouette, but I knew that body anywhere.
"Caesar?" I asked. I heard something loud, almost as though whatever was causing the was ransacking my uncle's room.
I turned my head, ready to head into the room to find out what in the hell was going on. But Caesar stopped me, giving me a pleading look as he turned me around to face him.
I shook my head "C-Caesar what's going on? How are you here?"
He didn't answer, but brought his hand to the back of my head, bringing my forehead to his.
The ransacking had stopped, and a gruff noise came from the hallway, as though to warn Caesar.
"Caesar what is-?"
"I. will. keep. you. safe." He said. Said, not signed, said. My eyes widened. I couldn't utter a word. I shook. He spoke. Caesar spoke words.
I must have looked ridiculous with my mouth wide open. I saw a twinge of a smile appear on his lips, but he remained stoic, pleading.
"I. love. you. to. Rona" he whispered, taking his forehead away from mine, and walked around me.
I stood there, in complete shock. Millions of thoughts rushed through my mind. What did he mean by keep me safe? Why was he here? What was he here for? WHY COULD HE SPEAK?
Quickly regaining myself, I rushed after Caesar, down the hall, out the front door and into the empty street.
He was nowhere in sight.
I couldn't sleep after my encounter with Caesar last night. I didn't bother to exit my room, despite the hubbub that was occurring outside of it. Will had been practically running back and forth all morning.
There was no way what had happened, happened. It had to have been one of those weird, possibly chocolate induced dreams. I had chocolate last night, it could have been that…
Growl
Finally too hungry to ignore my stomach any longer, I ventured downstairs to see my Mom packing her bags and Will on the phone, hurriedly discussing something.
Mom seemed to sense me, lifting herself up "I gotta head back to Medford sweety. I got an emergency call from work. Something about a patient needing help" she said as she walked over to me and kissed the top of my head.
"I'm sorry to leave sooner than I expected Rona. Please, ah, take care of Will. He woke up and came down here this morning holding some red rag to his chest and hasn't really paid attention to me since. He's practically in a relationship with his phone right now"
I chuckled "Don't worry about it. I'll call you soon to let you know when I'll head up north".
She kissed me again "Sounds good kiddo. Will I'm headin' out" she shouted at a very neurotic Will.
Will paused his conversation and essentially sprinted into the living room.
"Hugs, kisses, be safe, wash your hands" he said in one long breath before going back to his phone.
Mom looked irate, but shrugged it off, turning to me again "I don't know how you've managed in the last 3 ½ years, but I'm so proud of you hun".
I gave her a gracious smile "Thanks Mom, I love you"
"And I love you" and with another kiss on my head, she exited the house and went on her way.
I barely had time to actually get anything into my stomach before it virtually came back up after the information Will relayed to me.
"Dead?"
"Something...powerful snapped his neck. Somethings off, I wanna go to the ranch" Will said, frantically gathering his keys and wallet.
"Wait Will-" I stopped myself. He had told me a lot in the past 20 minutes. Franklin, a co-worker of his, had been brutally murdered. What the hell was happening? Why was everything toppling over? What next?
Wills phone went off. He held up a hand as though to tell me wait and glided into the living room.
As the next few minutes passed, I heard Will becoming frantic, and heard snippets about "Landon…screaming….him".
As Will finished speaking with her, he rushed back to me, "I need to get to the Ranch".
"What's wrong? Will?" I inquired, an edge of demand tinted my voice.
Will was in a panic and obviously was stalling, looking about for other things he didn't need. As he reached for a water bottle, I halted his hand, holding it in mine, squeezing it.
"Will" was all I said.
Uncle Will stared into my eyes. Melancholy, hurt, frustration. His eyes were just a mixed bag of emotions. But he relented, sighed and said "Caroline just called the Ranch. I don't know what's happened. I don't know if people are...alive. I don't know if Caesar is ok. Point is, something terrible has happened. I need to leave Rona. I need you to stay here".
But I wasn't having any of that.
"No. I'm coming with you to the Ranch"
"Ro-"
"Don't leave me here Will. I know, considering all that's been happening, that our lives have just been shit lately. But I will not let this mess stop me from making sure the ones I love are alright" I said, out of breath and damn near tears.
Reaching the Ranch, we were met with chaos. We met with the others, and each person present tried to figure out how to control the situation. And as soon as Will uttered the word "kill", I bolted, racing to locate Caesar, desperate to get him to comply, take be safe. Even from one of the people who loved him most.
Apes flew out of every corner, many attempting to take hold of me.
"Caesar!" I screamed, forcing my way through.
Finally I found him. Surrounded by his fellow apes, Caesar presence permeated the air with hostility and control.
A chimp stood erect as soon as he saw me, his lips curling back to bare his canines. I backed up, but was left reassured when Caesar grunted and held his arm out in front of the aggressive chimp.
Behind me I heard Will and Caroline approaching, so I acted quickly, "Caesar, something tells me you won't go back into your cage. And if that's the case...go. Leave." I whispered, making sure I was loud enough for him to hear me.
His eyes refused to soften, as he stared me down. In that moment I felt more a child than I'd ever had. I couldn't shake the feeling that I too had lost everything with Caesar.
As Will arrived, I backed off. I felt so lonely in that moment. I felt as though Caesar would never see me the same way had for the past few years. And as Will attempted to coax Caesar into eating a cookie, I realized just how damned this family truly was.
Caesar refused the offer, and began his journey to the outside world. Hastily we followed. Then, something I thought might have been a dream, became so much of a reality as Caesar delivered to his people the means to revolt "NO CAGE! NO MORE!". With his decree, the gorillas, orangutans, bonobos and chimps fled the grounds, Caesar at the front.
Animal Control arrived almost as soon as each was out of view. They argued, but I heeded them no mind. I wanted to find him again. Just to know he'd be safe. To know why he was doing this….no I knew why. I knew exactly why. But I wanted to...hear it from Caesar's' own...voice.
"rona...Rona...RONA!" I heard Uncle Will yell. He rushed over to me, shaking me. Urging me.
But I wouldn't let him direct me. I had to do this.
"No Will" I said in a hushed tone. He would try to leave me again. His eyes grew cross, affirming my intuition, he shook his head.
"Don't. Please. I have to stop him. Go back to the house. Go be safe" He begged, his eyes filled to the brim with desperation.
"I will be safe. But I'm going after him to" I stated, shrugging his hands from my shoulders.
"Rona, please. I don't need this" he said so desperately.
"Yes you do. We don't know who Caesar will listen to" I said and I had offended him. I had hurt him. Rage filled his eyes, as if I had betrayed his ability to nurture. But it was true. And he knew it.
The wind began to stir violently as the heaviness of a helicopter came down upon us.
"Sir we need to be going. They're moving fast. If you want to have a chance at...talking to your ape, we need to move" said a highly official looking Animal Control officer.
It took him a moment, but Will turned to me. He said nothing to me, and it was as if what I felt between Caesar came wrecking its way back to me, I knew in that moment that something had broken between Will and I. And it felt even worse.
Whirling into the air, the destruction lain in the apes charge to freedom was immediately visible.
Beeps and buzzes came from the cockpit as the pilot turned the helicopter to the south.
Locusts was the best way to describe the hoard below. Black and bits of orange, they raced on.
"I know where they're going!" said Caroline, "Head toward the San Francisco Zoo!"
As we approached the zoo, it became apparent what Caesar was doing. And as we hovered over the zoo, we witnessed Caesar and his kin release the apes of the zoo. Patrons scrambled as the apes ignored them and proceeded to destroy the gates of the enclosures. As soon as every simian was released, a black dot lead them from the zoo, and soon toward the Golden Gate Bridge.
'The woods' I thought. 'He's going to the Muir Woods. Of course.'
"NO LET THEM THROUGH!" I heard Will shout to the pilot. They wanted to shut down the bridge.
The air was growing crisp outside, and a dense fog plunged onto the bridge. We had lost sight of them. The helicopter buzzed down, and as we pricked into the fog, it became clear. The carnage. The plight of the apes.
A quick eye search caught the eye of the ape that brought his kin so far. Locked onto my face, Caesar appeared sorrowful, but as soon as he saw Will, his face changed and he proceeded onward with his group.
My eyes darted around. It was almost too quiet. And then it clicked. They were headed toward a trap.
"NO!" I shouted, catching Wills attention. His eyes darted toward where mine were, his own going wide.
The moments after, the bridge was spilled with red and fur as the bodies of apes fell and waged battle with the authority. And soon the flesh of man fell, as we witnessed police fall. That filth, Dodge, collapsed off the bridge. I could not help but feel sympathy, for he was just as human as the rest of us, and surely felt rage over the apes misconduct.
After being assured that it was safe, the pilot touched down, and the doors were opened immediately as Will and I pushed our way out, hair flying about from the whirring of the blades.
We attempted to reason with the authority. Tried to tell them we could reason with Caesar. But we both knew. We knew so much better. But we had to try.
"His name is Caesar. I think he'll listen to me. If he comes out, the other apes will follow"
"Sounds kinda far-fetched to me" said another officer.
He was ignored as another asked, " You think you know where to find this monkey?"
"The Muir Woods" I spoke. All eyes turned to me. So I pleaded, "Please, let us go to him. Let us try to bring him back."
Huff, as he had been called, shook his head, "I don't think an obviously incompetent scientist and a hopeful girl can turn this around.
"I am not in-!"
"But at this point I am willing to let the insane be insane. We've lost enough people. You can go to him, so long as there are reinforcements within 150ft of your interaction. Do whatever it takes. Whatever it takes." Huff said with an air of persuasion.
We stood at the end of the wood. The presence of the police was still too obvious for us, but we had failed to ask for even more privacy.
"Let me go first" Will demanded, barely looking me in the eye. No, I wouldn't. But I told him otherwise.
"Fine" was all I said as we began our trek up the paths of the Muir Wood. The sounds of the apes was distant, and as we closed in, the sound began to decrease. This was becoming ominous. Nervousness ran up my spine, but I pressed forward. As the noise truly began to subdue, and as Will looked around, high into the trees, I took my chance and bolted.
A surprised Will turned around and shouted something at me, but I continued to sprint.
"CAESAR!" I cried, hoping he'd come to me.
"CAESAR PLEASE!" I continued on. I looked into the trees, and saw black. They were here, just watching me. So I stopped, and stared at them as they did to me. If there's anything I know about apes, it's that they know how to be silent when they needed to be. And if only I had remembered that at this moment. For the next thing I felt was a warm, gentle breath on my neck.
Turning, I recognized the figure behind me as the orangutan at the Ranch. He was big, but not tall. And very much so orange. His gorgeous eyes looked me up and down, before he began to sign "Caesar told me much about you. He loves you very much."
I gently shook the disbelief from my face, and questioned myself over what I thought was surprising at this point and signed, "What's your name?"
"Maurice".
"It's nice to meet you Maurice. Can you tell me where Caesar is? I have to talk to him" I responded.
Maurice gazed at me. He was sort of mystic in his own strange way. I attempted to urge him to tell me, but he didn't need to.
"I. Am. Right. Here" I heard behind me.
The wind wisped my short, brown curls as I turned to face the being that I desperately wanted to see. To talk to. To engage in an way that would just make him pause, for even the briefest of moments and keep him planted.
So as I approached him, I couldn't help but feel that no matter what I did, all I fought through, it would be futile.
He did not glare at me, but his eyes did not possess the sunshine that I knew so well.
I stopped short, not wanting to further...hurt him in any sort of way.
My right hand stretched in front of me, and held my they left arm. A tick.
"I-" I hesitated. What would I say now that I had the chance. The desperation to make sure Caesar was safe was my top priority, above all else. But I felt unable to say anything that would change his mind.
But I let myself go, as it came to me what I needed to say.
"I don't know if you can ever forgive the things that have happened to you. And I don't blame you if you never do. I just-"
"I. Do not. Blame. You. I. Never. Have" Caesar interrupted, eyes seeking mine.
I felt lifted, but I could not help but feel his words refused to release something more.
"Thank you, Caesar. I-I know things haven't always been easy. But the memories we created. Please, don't ever let them go" I begged. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I couldn't help but sniff as mucus started dribbling down. I had hidden my tears before, and that was perhaps a mistake. But I would show Caesar just how sorry I was.
"Please, even if I never see you again. Please remember me Caesar. And Will. And Grandpa. Just, keep us in your heart. And...do what's best for you Caesar. Don't change just because the world wants to force change onto you" I said with finality.
My head turned the beautiful grass of the forest, I heard him approach. Then I felt pressure on my forehead, as Caesar leaned into me. A rough, large hand wrapped around the back of my head, bringing me closer to him. Lifting my eyes, I looked into Caesars. Tears appeared to form in his own.
"Thank. You. For. Loving. Me. I. Will. Never. Forget. Our. Memories." Caesar whispered. Hoarse, but filled with promise.
I couldn't help myself, as I wrapped my arms around his thick figure, pulling him to me, one more time. And Caesar returned the favor, pressing me to him, before releasing me, gently turning me in the direction from which I came.
"Goodbye. Rona."
"See you, Caesar."
The days and months following Caesar's revolution were filled with more tragedy. Rumor was going around that a sickness was developing, but the citizens of the world were told not too put too much stress into the thought of it. The Muir Woods were completely cut off from San Francisco, as the state of California deemed it extremely hazardous. Like the sickness, rumor had it that the apes were moving, but I had little faith in those tales.
I was right about mine and Will's relationship. It was fractured now, but we tried to remain a unit, especially as it became evident the days were becoming fear ridden and challenging.
More and more people were becoming sick, and more and more people demanded answers.
As the denizens of San Francisco became more sick, my mother begged me and Will to travel north, where fewer people seemed to be getting sick. Will urged me to leave. He was markedly reluctant to move north, saying he had too much unfinished business in San Francisco. For some reason, he felt he was to blame for the sickness, saying it added up in odd ways.
So I moved back to Medford, unable to focus on getting a job that related to my major. The same could be said about Mara Rose, who not too shortly after graduating asked if she could stay with mom, Louise and I. A month later she received news that both of her parents had perished in what was now unofficially called the "Simian Flu".
A year went by, before I too received a similar call from Caroline.
"Hello?"
"H-hi Rona" She said shakily.
"What's wrong?"
"It's Will."
