fear keeps you alive
Everyone talks about winter fun and the magic of ice and snow, but no one ever looks your way, no one ever believes in you, or sees you, or even knows your name. It's difficult to remain carefree and happy, then, nearly impossible to not become despondent and upset.
After all, what is your purpose here if all you ever accomplish is the laughter of children, and all for the price of your power? Why do you even exist?
Your earliest memories are of water, of being cold and in the darkness, alone. You remember being unable to breathe, unable to move, trapped as ice seeped into your veins. You remember frosted breath and forgotten warmth, exhaustion and worry. Silence.
Then there was a light, and then you, rising to the surface — suddenly being able to walk, to talk, to move. It was thrilling, the kind of freedom you think you used to dream of, and it felt great. But, in the end…
The moon told you your name and left you to learn that you were nothing but a ghost now.
You were Jack Frost, spirit of winter; Frost, the holder of a heart of mischief and ice; Jack, the boy no one would remember. You were you, alone in the face of the world, but too happy to be able to do something, anything, to care.
You think you may have been human once, that that's why you have so much fun causing trouble for the other spirits, the other Guardians, that that's why you resonate better with the children on Earth, but… you can't quite believe that. Or maybe you just don't want to.
After all, if you were once human, you must have died, somehow, must have drowned in that frozen lake you emerged from so long ago, and — and wouldn't there have been a funeral? You can't remember one, not even from before the world began to change and progress forward.
You can't remember ever existing before waking up to that wintery night.
In a way, you're more like Pitch than the Guardians understand. You've both been forgotten by time, both invisible and weak and mocked. You've both been left behind, and, if you were just a little bit more selfish, you think you just might have joined him.
But, you've seen the wonder North has brought the kids, seen the joy the kangaroo and the Tooth Fairy bring to little boys and girls who need something to believe in, and… you really can't fault the Guardians for loving their work. Sandy's dreams are just a bonus.
After all, it's the smiles of the children you made happy that had kept you pleased, yourself. It was the smiles of the kids you made happy that had kept you from joining Pitch Black in his reign of terror.
It's the smiles of the kids that you made happy that are stopping you from still taking that offer up, because, regardless of what the Guardians think, you're still you, still all too human. Still care about your own needs as much as those of others', and — fear isn't always a bad thing.
After all, fear would have kept you, him — they — alive.
