Disclaimer: We don't own Labyrinth or any of the characters therein. We have no wish to own David Bowie. He's married. We wish him happiness. Gabriel, being one of the authors, belongs to herself. Jo belongs to herself, too, and possibly the Devil. The Boots of Doom are Gabriel's. "Lookylookylooky at the whosi in my bootycrack!" belongs to Jo and Lael. There are lots of random references to stuff, but we can't possibly name all of them.

Trouble In The Labyrinth In The Form Of Two Implausibly Hyper Girls

(Scene: A bedroom in a big white house. It's dark out, and it's starting to rain. There is a crib in the corner, and a large bed against one wall. In the crib is a small baby boy, who is screaming like mad, and sitting on the bed, side by side, are two girls. One has shoulder-length blond hair and gray eyes, and the other has long black hair, dark eyes, and glasses. In unison, they look at the crib, groan, and then look at each other.)

Dark-Haired Girl: Hey, Jo?

Jo (Blond Girl): Yeah, Gabriel?

Gabriel: (faintly irritated) Let's tell Jon-Jon a story.

Jo: (grinning) Ok.

(They stand up and go over to the crib. Jo picks up Jon-Jon, the baby, and she starts telling the story.)

Jo: Ok, little dude, listen up. Once there were two beautiful sisters, whose evil parents always made them stay home and babysit instead of letting them hang out down town.

Gabriel: (not at all vicious in tone) And the baby was awfully loud, and despite the fact that most of the time the girls liked children, at some point they got frustrated.

Jo: (growing slowly more delighted) But, the Goblin King knew about the girls, and he ended up falling in love with them, and he told them that, if they said the right thing, he'd take away the baby.

Gabriel: (faintly vicious) And they'd turn him into a goblin. And the end-

Both: (vicious) ...is not yet written.

(The baby shuts up for a moment, looking intimidated. It's long enough for Jo to put him back in the crib. As the two girls are leaving the room, Jon-Jon starts wailing again. They groan and turn around, looking highly irritated.)

Gabriel: Y'know, I wish the goblins would-

Jo: -come and take you away.

Both: Right now.

(They leave the room. There is a monumental crack of thunder, and then abruptly there are no more baby noises coming from the next room. Jo and Gabriel blink, turn around, and walk back into the room. Around them are funky giggling sounds. Gabriel starts flipping out, but Jo stays relatively calm. At least, until you notice that her pupils are dilated. There is a large owl tapping at the glass doors to the balcony. After a moment, they blow open, and Jareth appears in typical spooky fashion. Gabriel's jaw drops on the ground. Jo just stares.)

Jo: Dude...you're the Goblin King...

Jareth: (smirking) Yes. Charmed.

Jo: Where's our little brother?

Jareth: (still smirking) I'm quite sure you know where he is.

Jo: And...can we have him back? (to Gabriel) Gabriel, stop drooling.

Gabriel: (blushing and dragging up her jaw) Sorry.

Jareth: (smirking) What's said is said. It can't be taken back.

(Gabriel is still just staring at Jareth. Jo thinks fast.)

Jo: Well, if we go with you, will you put our little brother back?

(Jareth blinks. Gabriel looks over at Jo in shock. She jabs Jo in the shoulder. Jo does not flinch.)

Jo: What, Gabriel?

Gabriel: You mean...stay with him?

Jo: Yeah.

Gabriel: Er...cool! (turning back to Jareth) Can we, please?

Jareth: (faintly surprised) I suppose that deal is good enough.

Both Girls: Sounds good to us!