ok this is my second fanfic. i have another ''on the edge of safe'' but having a bit of writters block with that at the moment lol. this came into my head and thought i might share it with you all lol
please let me know if you like it or if its just pooh hehe
Disclaimer - i own nothing. I'm just writing just for fun.
SPENCER POV.
here we go. the first day of high school after the summer and what a summer i had, well i what i remember of it. it was the first summer in years that i spent without Ashley and maybe hats why i turned to drink and drugs to help me get through it. i can still hear her voice, the words she said when she left me. after everything, she just ended it so simply. guess that's life for you? i mean yeah if you enjoy a constant pain in your ass then hey your life must be full of smiles, i hate sitting here waiting for glen to get ready, he takes longer than me and I'm the girl! god i cant stop replaying the whole thing in my head, can still hear those words in my head, those words that turned my world into nothing but a mountain of shit ''i just don't feel the way you feel'' what a lovely way to put ''i don't love you anymore or at all'' oh no i tell a lie, she loves me as a best friend, funny she never said that when me would spend days and nights in bed having sex and for the 8 months we were together she was pretty certain i was the only one for her.
hey but I'm guessing it hard to feel something that don't exist, yeah the day i lost Ashley i lost all hope or belief i had in love but can you blame me? she is...was the love of my life, ''Spence lets go.'' i look over and theres glen still mucking bout with his hair, as if hes creating a master piece.
I'm only in the car for about 10 min before my phone goes off. its a text from Andy. ''hey Spencer i got the good stuff and its just fresh this morning how bout you come over for a quick trip Andy x'' hmm sounds like a plan ''hey glen drop me off at Andy's place. i have to pick up some books i need for today'' Glen gives me one of those -i-know-your-lying- looks but hey whats it to him what i do with my shell of a life? so he drops me off but not before having a quick dig at me ''you better not fuck this year up Spence. its just stupid now'' i just throw him the dagger eyes and walk up to the front door of Andy's house. people need to claim down, yes Andy is a dealer but he is actually a nice guy. he never made me take drugs i asked him to get me them, he is always reminding me that i can stop whenever i want, as far as dealers go he is a pretty damn good one!
i walk in knowing he'll have already smoking the good stuff and i was right. i walk into his living room and see what? him laying on the floor with one fat ass joint in his hand and a glazed over look on his face ''Spencer babe, sit down have a joint or 9'' he laughs i look over to the arm of the couch and there is a bag full of already rolled joints and they are all as fat as the one hes smoking so i, being the polite girl i am, help myself as i spark up and start smoking it as if its my life support. i feel my mind relaxing, everything seems so mellow and all thoughts of her are gone. finally everythings ok again. Andy puts a nice vodka and cola down next to me before reaching over and putting on so music.
funny thing about drugs and drink, the way they make time seem likes its slowed down but at the same time make it like its went by faster than the speed of light, speaking of lights whats that above my head! ha ha its a small green light, all lighty and small AND GREEN wow..oh oh where are you going? lil green lighty come back. ''Andy catch it catch it!'' he jumps up and look at me ''catch what?'' i must have blacked out after that cause suddenly i was walking up to the main entrance of my school with Andy and some other people ''we..were...are we gooiiinngg?'' i ask full of wonder, a girl wraps her arm round me and kisses my cheek ''to school baby, we got to fight the power! we will not avoid school cause the man says its not right to drink or take drugs!'' she smiles at me and i just burst out laughing.
we walk along the hall not so much walking, I'm floating and everyones looking at me, i really don't like it. why wont they stop. i feel my heart race and a cold sweat on my head ''ANDY!'' i shout but he's nowhere in sight ''ANDY! FUCKING HELP ME'' i shout again even louder, still he is nowhere near me, i cant see him. i find my locker and sit down on the floor but it doesn't stop the whole hall from spinning, faster and faster. i cant take this. i close my eyes as i lay my head in my lap, i have no idea what was in those joints but its having a killer effect on me. i can still feel the hall spinning, its like being on a round about, even if you close your eyes you can feel yourself spinning. i need someone to stop me spinning. to hold me so I'm not moving. the person to do that though is gone, gone for good. shes not coming back to me ever.
