Where Walls Once Stood
Breathing Wounds
I finished this back in 2004, so an old fic for me. It was once posted on Geocities so if you recognize you might have read it there. I'm leaving my little disclaimer at the beginning just for kicks. Enjoy.
Fandom: Law & Order SVU / X- Files Crossover
Pairing: Benson/Scully Cabot/Carmichael and anything in between
Disclaimer: The characters of SVU and X-files belong to Dick Wolf and Chris Carter, respectively. I do not own them, and I am not sure they would want to be owned in my twisted world. Also, this is in no means a song fic, but music is a big thing in my personal life, so I couldn't not use it in this particular fic. The lyrics belong to their respective artists. I do not make any money what so ever from writing fanfic, it's just a hobby.
All other characters and writing copyrighted 2004
Rating: TV-14 … nothing worse than what is seen and implied on SVU . However, if you are offended by female slash, go find some other fanfic to read.
Summary: What if….
Thanks: Many many kudos to my Beta Reader… who is probably cringing at my lack of proper grammar in my disclaimer. I couldn't have done it with out you Caillean! Thanks for your support, and for finally urging me to post my first fanfic. Who knows maybe I'll dig up some old ones, and dust them off… or maybe I'll just work on some new ones. Maybe even a sequel to this one. ;)
Feedback: I'm a starving artist… I live on feedback. I make only one request, if you are going to flame the slash, or my pairing choices; Don't bother. All other comments, and constructive criticism are welcome.
"I don't want to rain on your parade. I want to burst all your floats." – Detective John Munch
On with the show…..
NYC, NY
It was weeklong seminar, and Agent Scully was there alone. Agent Mulder came up with some last minute excuse not to go, something to do with hemorrhoids and not being able to sit for extended periods of time. She on the other hand, was scheduled to speak to a handful of medical examiners and forensic pathologists. So, here she was in New York, and she didn't know anyone.
Olivia sat down beside Elliot near the back of the hotel's conference room. She still wasn't sure why they were here. Cragen suggested she and Elliot attend the Law Enforcement seminar, since the FBI headed it and it was open to all local law enforcement officers. It was going to be a long week. As the first expert was droning on about maintaining scene integrity, she was already trolling for reasons not to come back.
At ten o'clock they broke for a fifteen-minute break. Elliot headed for the bathroom. Olivia stood up stretching her arms before heading back to the table of assorted sludge.
"You'd think the FBI could at least spring for some decent coffee." Olivia mumbled to herself.
"You're telling me." A woman next to her commented.
Olivia glanced sideways, as she felt her face flush. She hadn't meant to make the comment out loud, and definitely not in earshot of… she looked for the, my name is tag. She couldn't find one, but was willing to bet she was an FBI Agent. Definitely one of America's finest, at least from her profile. "Sorry."
"No need to apologize…"
"Detective Olivia Benson," Olivia recognized the searching eyes. "Manhattan SVU."
"Agent Dana Scully, FBI headquarters." Scully reached for a carton of skim milk sitting on ice. "I have the pleasure of boring some people to tears tomorrow, but I'm here for the duration."
"Liv, be a doll and get me a coffee." Elliot winked when she glared in his direction.
"You're partner?" Scully asked.
"Yeah, and believe it or not he does the coffee run seventy-five percent of the time." She poured another cup. "Is your partner here?"
"No, I actually came alone." Scully frowned. "My partner is the King of avoidance when it comes to any kind of seminar. He thinks since he's Oxford educated he need not attend."
"So what was his excuse?" Olivia turned and finally took in the full view of Agent Scully, and was pleased her big mouth had drawn her attention.
"Hemorrhoids." She gave a disbelieving smile.
"Ouch!" The sparkle in Olivia's onyx eyes did not go unobserved. As her smile faded, Olivia realized with some embarrassment that they had held their gaze for a second too long. She had been lost in the crystal blue depths of this beautiful red head. Funny, she had never been attracted to a red head before, or someone who was vertically challenged.
"Well, I guess I should get back to my seat." Scully broke the almost awkward silence.
"Yeah." Olivia nodded to Elliot that she was coming.
"Who was that?" The lure in his voice, told her he approved.
"Elliot, behave yourself. It's Agent Scully from FBI headquarters, and she's going to be lecturing tomorrow."
"Guess that means you won't be pretending to be sick until later in the week." Elliot grinned.
"Stop it." Olivia warned, but he was right. She couldn't keep her eyes off her, and from where they sat she had the perfect vantage point. "Her partner didn't come. He begged off with a hemorrhoidal excuse."
"Is that your new slang for asinine?"
"No, he has hemorrhoids."
Elliot cringed at the thought. "So, invite her to lunch with us."
"I thought we were meeting with Cabot?"
"For a friendly lunch, she won't mind the extra company. Might even give you a run for your money."
"Don't make me pull my weapon." Olivia threatened just as the next speaker stood at the podium. Elliot suspected Olivia was attracted to the ADA, but neither was sure what Alex's preference was. For now Olivia was content with just being good friends. She didn't want to ruin a good thing, even if she thought it might make it a better thing.
Her attention found its way back to the lovely Agent Scully. She watched her jot a few notes down, as she listened attentively. How she could be so interested in the importance of securing a crime scene before CSU collected evidence, was beyond her.
It was closing in on eleven fifteen, when Scully looked at her watch. This guy was worse than the first one. She felt like a high school student again. Pretending to listen and take notes, when she was really writing down her own profile of Olivia Benson. The beautiful brown hair that kept falling into her dark brownish black eyes, her sense of humor, and her smile. Why sex crimes? Scully wondered as she turned around to steal a glance.
Olivia saw her turning and looked down at her notebook pretending to jot something down. Scully smiled slightly, Mulder would never pay attention at one of these things and here was Detective Benson taking notes. Although she found the speaker particular boring, Scully admired Olivia for getting what she could out of it.
"Damn." Olivia sighed when Scully turned back around.
"What?" Elliot leaned forward and whispered in her ear.
"Nothing." Olivia wondered if she had been checking her out, or if she was just looking around the room. She convinced herself it was the latter.
When they broke for lunch at twelve, Scully was slow to gather her things together. Without Mulder there to rush her she could take all the time she needed. At the moment she needed a lot of it. She wasn't sure what was happening to her, but she hoped to get to know Detective Benson better. She couldn't remember ever feeling this way.
"Agent Scully?" Olivia had been pushed in her direction, but Scully was in too deep a thought to notice. She repeated herself, not sure she'd been heard. "Agent Scully?"
"Detective Benson." Scully turned with a smile pulling at her lips.
"This is my partner Detective Stabler."
"Hi, it's Elliot." He reached out his hand in greeting.
Scully returned the hearty handshake, noting silently his sly smile.
"We were wondering if you had lunch plans?" Olivia drew her attention again.
"Um – no, not really. I was just going to catch a bite in the bar and read over my lecture for the thousandth time." Scully rolled her eyes in the direction of her briefcase.
"We're meeting a friend for lunch, if you'd like to tag along?" Elliot spoke before Olivia could accept reviewing her lecture as an excuse.
"I wouldn't want to intrude."
"No intrusion." Olivia smiled. "I'm sure Alex would love to meet you. That is if you don't mind being a little late getting back here?"
Scully gave the duo an intriguing look, wondering just who the Alex person was. If he was cute, a personal friend of Olivia's or just how they all knew each other? She graciously accepted but only for the benefit of spending some time with Olivia. The thought of being set up with some stranger named Alex, caused her stomach to tighten.
"We're meeting at this cute little Italian restaurant. It's just down the block, on the left." Olivia announced when they reached the sidewalk.
Scully pulled her black wool coat tighter around her. She hated the FBI's sense of humor, a seminar in New York in January. She'd be a Popsicle before it was over, not that she'd mind the cold if it would snow and weren't so windy.
Elliot and Olivia headed toward the restaurant with Scully walking between them. Olivia tightened her own scarf against the cold breeze. In no time they were standing in the lobby of a quaint little bistro, pictures of Italy's countryside adorned the walls of the entrance. Scully removed her coat and handed it to the attendant, before straightening her wind blown hair. Olivia smiled, and pointed over to Alex. Elliot nodded and explained to the maitre'd their lunch date was already seated. He waved them in the general direction of the table, and Elliot led the way. Scully couldn't see around him, until they arrived at their table.
"Hope you don't mind, we brought an extra guest." Elliot stepped aside. "Agent Scully meet our own personal ADA, Alexandra Cabot. Alex, meet Agent Scully."
Scully locked her jaw for a minute, just to keep her chin from hitting the floor. She wasn't sure if it was the shock of Alex not being a man, or her sheer elegance. She swallowed, noticing the sapphire eyes studying her. "Hi, it's nice to meet you."
"Like wise." Alex shook her hand and offered her a seat.
The waiter arrived immediately with extra menus and took their drink orders. Alex ordered a diet Pepsi with lemon, not that she needed anything diet. Elliot ordered a root beer, followed by Olivia's caffeine free Pepsi, lastly Scully ordered water with lemon.
"We met Agent Scully at the seminar, seems her partner stood her up to stay in Washington with medical problems." Olivia explained.
"Perceived medical problems." Scully interjected.
"So, how is the seminar going?" Alex questioned.
"Boring." Elliot answered.
"I don't know, I've found certain aspects of it kind of interesting." Olivia grinned.
"You would." Elliot looked over the menu.
"And you Agent Scully?" Alex peered over her menu.
"Please, call me Dana." Scully leaned slightly to the side, as the waiter placed her water in front of her. "The coffee there could be better."
Olivia blushed.
"Sorry Detective." Scully hadn't meant to embarrass her.
"Dana, it's Olivia. I don't believe in formality among friends."
"You don't believe in formality period."
Olivia reached over and playfully smacked Elliot's right shoulder. He grasped it in mock offense, and Scully noted the wedding ring. She felt panic attack her stomach, for some odd reason it settled when she noted no such ring on Olivia's hand. "So what do you suggest?"
Olivia was the first to speak up. "The lasagna here is excellent."
"Olivia's right the lasagna is good, but so is the fettuccini Alfredo." Alex closed her menu, having made up her mind.
"I'd personally go for the Calamari." Elliot reached for his drink.
"If you eat that, you're sitting alone this afternoon." Olivia announced.
Elliot shrugged.
"Calamari, huh? Wouldn't sound too bad, except I make it a rule to not eat anything from the sea." Scully laid her menu to the side, and noticed Olivia was smiling in her direction. "What?"
"Nothing." Olivia looked at Elliot. "Just, I can't stand seafood either. That's why he suggested it."
"I'm innocent." Elliot feigned horror as the waiter arrived.
"Are you ready to order?"
Alex looked around as everyone nodded. "Yes, I'll have the Fettuccini Alfredo and a Cesar salad."
Olivia went next, ordering a house salad with French dressing and the lasagna. Elliot surprised everyone by ordering cheese ravioli.
"I'd like the vegetarian lasagna Alfredo, and side salad with Ranch on the side."
"So, how's your day been Alex?" Olivia asked after the waiter retreated to the back.
"I've actually got a pretty light case load right now, in fact I've been helping out in homicide today. Arthur's talking about sending me to a few of the lectures, says it could broaden my horizons."
"Aiming for his chair isn't broad enough?" Olivia turned toward Scully. "Arthur's the DA, for New York City."
Scully nodded.
"I think that's precisely it, although he knows I only want it when he retires. I think he just wants me out of his hair."
"He has hair?" Olivia laughed.
"Not much." Alex assured.
They talked over their lunches. An hour and a half had passed when Alex looked at her watch. "I need to get back to the office, I have a deposition at two-thirty."
"Yeah, we need to get our afternoon naps in back at the seminar." Olivia smiled.
"I thought you were enjoying the conference so far?" Scully asked as they left the restaurant.
"Like I said, certain aspects of it."
There was that look again, Scully noted. Her own lips slightly parted as her tongue played with her upper incisor. Olivia saw the sliver of pink snaking over her tooth, and had to look away. When they walked into the conference room, there were exactly three seats left clumped together in the back row. Fate?
Scully searched her attaché case for a clean sheet of paper, not wanting Olivia to see her makeshift profile of her. Olivia turned to a fresh page, for similar effect. They had walked into the middle of a seminar on entomology. Olivia hated bugs with a passion, but understood their importance in maintaining time of death, exposure etc.
As the afternoon painfully dragged on, Olivia quietly flipped to another blank page and jotted down one word before sliding it towards Scully. "Dinner?"
"You and Elliot?" Scully scribbled.
Olivia felt a pang of disappointment. "No. Elliot has a family to go home to."
"I didn't mean… I knew he was married. Dinner would be great. When?" Scully slid it back.
"Tonight, seven?"
"Where?"
"I'll pick you up. Dress casual. Room #?"
"306"
Olivia smiled.
Olivia left the seminar and went home to change out of the dress slacks she'd worn to the conference. She jumped in the shower, and felt she was some how betraying Alex. She shook her head of the thought as she rinsed the shampoo out of her hair. For all she knew Alex was straight, and in the very least, they weren't even in a relationship. That settled it, Olivia promised not to think of the beautiful blonde again tonight. It was easy enough at the moment, since she was about to have dinner with a certain redhead. Of course the same problem came to light, was Agent Scully interested in anything more than friendly company during her week here?
Olivia would be happy no matter the outcome, as long as Elliot didn't pick on her. She wrapped a towel around her wet body, and ran another through her hair letting it lay in a tangled mess on her head. She stood in front of her closet studying its contents. Her favorite pair of low riding Levi's called out to her, and she smiled to herself as she tossed them on to the bed. She pulled out a light gray long sleeved knit shirt, black lace bra, and matching underwear.
After putting her clothes on she pulled out a pair of chucks and heavy socks. She returned to the bathroom to brush her teeth and run her fingers through her hair. After finishing up she grabbed her cell phone and put her holster on. She'd like to go out just once without having to wear a sidearm. Tonight she'd wear her black leather jacket.
Across town Scully stepped out of the shower, and wrapped a towel around her tiny frame. She then made a turban for her hair. By the bed her phone rang, dreading what the call might entail she walked over and picked it up. "Scully?"
"Scully, how are you?"
"I'm fine Mulder." She sighed, half relieved, half frustrated.
"So I see you survived your first day of people trying to talk you to death."
"Yes, I did Mulder."
"When do you get the pleasure of boring the masses?"
"Tomorrow morning, I am second on the circuit." She looked at her watch. She still had plenty of time. "How are the hemorrhoids?"
"They've been worse."
"Imagine that." She mumbled. "Mulder did you call for any reason in particular, or just to bug me?"
"I told you, I wanted to make sure you were still alive. I know how these FBI things can be. Besides, I figured you'd be bored in New York with out me there to keep you company."
"Oh, really? Well for your information I've got plans tonight."
"Don't get all defensive Scully. Who's the lucky guy?"
"Who said anything about a guy?"
"You said you have plans."
"Maybe it's not a date. Maybe I'm going to tour the Big Apple alone."
"It's a guy, I know these things."
"Oh, you do, do you?" Scully loved it when he was wrong. "Well Mulder, unless you've got something important to tell me, I need to finish getting ready."
"Call me when you get in?"
"What are you my father?"
"You're in New York Scully. Do you have any idea what kind of weirdoes are running around there?"
"They aren't any weirder then the one I work with."
"Very funny. I'm being serious Scully."
"Look Mulder, if it makes you feel any better I'm taking my weapon. Like I have a choice of leaving it here. Not to mention, I'm going out on the town with one of New York's elite."
"See I knew it was a guy."
"Can't fool you." She snickered.
"Call me?"
"Ok."
"Have fun." Mulder said his goodbyes and Scully hung up. She looked at the clothes she'd packed. Among them her favorite pair of low slouch Levi's. They were well worn, but no one could tell. She pulled on a white long sleeve shirt, over her black bra. Just as she'd expected, the material was thick enough the bra was basically hidden. She returned to the bathroom to brush her teeth, fix her hair, and do the last minute things.
Olivia stood inside the hotel's lobby and saw a few faces she recognized from the seminars she'd been to earlier in the day. She quickly found the elevator and got on. When the doors opened on the third floor she wondered if she was doing the right thing. Easily finding Scully's room she stood outside the door, mentally reciting her hellos. Finally she found the courage to knock.
Scully opened the door and Olivia found herself speechless. The slightly shorter woman was wearing the perfect pair of jeans; they hung on her hips just right. Her white shirt hugged her upper body and was tucked neatly in those perfect jeans. Olivia would swear she were the poster child for a Calvin Klein commercial.
"Olivia?" Scully said for the second time.
Olivia shook her head. "Hey."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm great." Olivia smiled.
"Come on in, while I grab my stuff." Scully lead her into the room. "Sorry about the outfit but you did say casual, and well, I'm living out of a suit case this week."
"It's perfect." Olivia opened her coat, revealing an almost near match of Scully's outfit. The only difference was the cut of the jeans, and Olivia's shirt being gray.
Scully laughed, as she picked up her holster. "Right down to the choice of weapon. So where are we going?"
"Have you ever been to New York before?"
"A couple times on assignment, but never when I had any time for myself."
"Good, I'm going to show you the town."
"I was hoping you were going to say that." Scully shrugged into her brown leather jacket. "Think I'll be warm enough?"
"You might want to bring gloves and a scarf."
"Right."
Olivia let Scully lead the way to the elevator so she could enjoy the view. She figured it might be the only chance she had to check the agent out from that end tonight. Once outside, Scully wrapped the scarf around her for added protection from the cold.
"Are you starving, or do you want to check out Rockefeller Center first?"
"Rockefeller Center sounds great."
"Ok. You up to walking?"
"After being cramped up all day, definitely." Scully fell into step beside Olivia.
They entered Rockefeller Center and watched as some kids skated around on the ice. A few teenage couples held hands as they glided effortlessly around the rink.
Scully observed the delight in which she watched the people on the ice. "Olivia, do you have any kids?"
"No." She frowned momentarily. "Never really had the chance I guess. Single my whole life. Dating guys and working SVU just doesn't seem to jive. Everything's going perfect, and then they ask about my job. The ones that aren't heading out the door are asking to hear more. It's sick really. How about you?"
Scully thought about how best to answer the almost loaded question. "Not really, and it isn't very promising. It's a long story."
"Ever married? Dating anyone now?"
"No to both. Agent Mulder keeps us so busy running from one lead to the next; I have little time left for a social life. Besides, the last real date I had tried to throw me in a furnace."
"You're kidding?"
"I'm not."
"You sound like you lead a very interesting life Dana."
"I guess in some ways I do, and in other ways it is far less."
"Hungry?"
"Starved."
"Good, I know the perfect place. You do eat meat, right?"
"Yes." Scully smiled.
"Just checking."
When they reached Joe's Grill, Olivia opened the door and let Scully in. Joe was standing behind the bar and saw Olivia the second she entered.
"Hey Benson, how's it going?"
"Great Joey! How are the kids?"
"They're growing like weeds. You should come by, they ask about you all the time."
"I'll try and stop by the house next week, 'k?"
"Sure, you know where it is. What can I get you?"
"Do you trust me to order for you?" Olivia asked.
"Sure."
"We'll take two specials, extra cheese."
"Coming right up. You taking your usual spot?"
"No, actually I think we're going to take the quiet corner." Olivia pointed the way for Scully.
"Sally'll be over in a few to get your drink orders."
"Thanks Joey." Olivia followed Scully to the table and they both removed their coats before sitting.
"So what's the special?"
"The best Philly cheese steak sub ever, with bacon, lettuce and tomato. It's so good it'll melt in your mouth." Olivia bit her tongue not to say she would too.
"You know the owner?"
"Yeah. I'd been coming here about a year when his wife was brutally raped and murdered. He was left with three kids all under the age of five. They are the cutest little angels."
"Did you catch the case?"
"Yeah, it was horrible. We caught the guy, and he's serving a life sentence. Doesn't bring their mom back though."
"Yeah, some days you just wonder what good is justice when people still walk around with scars."
"True."
"Hey Olivia, are you on the clock tonight?" Sally walked up.
"Aren't I always?"
"Hey New York never sleeps, why should you? What can I get you ladies to drink?"
"I'll take a root beer." Olivia looked at Scully who ordered the same.
Their orders arrived, along with their drinks. Scully took one bite and had to agree with Olivia. "This is definitely the best Philly cheese steak I've ever had."
"Better then sex?"
"A close second I'm sure."
"Well, maybe third. Chocolate's gotta fit in there some where." Olivia smiled as Scully licked cheese off her bottom lip. Her heart beat faster. There were times when Scully would be thinking and a sliver of tongue would slide across her lips, or they would part just enough so Olivia could see her tongue dancing over her teeth. She couldn't quiet put into words what that simple habit did to her. Her train of thought was thrown off track when she noticed Scully's expression. The conversation was about to turn serious.
"So, why sex crimes?" The instant she saw the pain flash in Olivia's dark eyes, Scully regretted asking.
"Somebody's got to do it." She answered simply.
"I guess, but I think there's more to it than that." She didn't want to push, but if she could help.
"Why go to med school and then become a federal agent?"
"Best of both worlds. I get to practice forensic pathology and carry a gun."
Olivia chuckled, but it wasn't her usual warmhearted laugh and somehow Scully knew this.
"It was something different, something exciting." Scully said thoughtfully. "You never really answered my question."
Olivia pushed her empty plate away. She contemplated telling her the story. What difference would it make? She'd probably never see or hear from Dana Scully after this week. But it was the fear of knowing it just might make the agent tuck tail and run that had her hesitating.
"If it's too personal, or you don't want to talk about it, it's fine."
Olivia looked at her watch, and almost simultaneously her phone rang. Saved by the bell? It was Elliot, which could only mean one thing, work. She didn't even say hello. "Where are you?"
"At home."
"Where do you need me to go?"
"This isn't an official call."
"Stop smiling Elliot."
"How'd you know?"
"I can hear it in your voice."
"So where are you?"
"Joe's place."
"Alone?"
Olivia looked at Scully. "No."
"Alex?"
"Elliot, you know not. Now stop it."
"Is she?"
"No."
"Dana's not interested?"
"Is the pope Baptist?" Olivia watched Scully arch an eyebrow.
"No, and don't pick on the pope."
"Then there's your answer."
"She's Catholic."
"What's that got to do with anything?"
"Just an observation."
"So, are you still interested?"
"You're interrupting."
"I thought she wasn't interested?"
"I don't know, I didn't ask."
"You mean, you don't just get it over with and ask?"
"Elliot, I don't want to play twenty questions. If this isn't an official call, I'm hanging up."
"You're no fun."
"Byeee." Olivia disconnected the call and pocketed her phone.
"The pope's Baptist?"
"Elliot's Catholic, I do it to irritate him. You're Catholic too, right?"
Scully fingered the tiny cross hanging from her neck. "It's my faith, yes. You?"
"Still searching." Olivia finished off her root beer. "Look, it's getting late and my place is just around the corner. Why don't we hang out there for a little while? We can finish our conversation and I'll take you back to the hotel."
"You're not going to attack me and try to throw me in your furnace are you?" Scully smiled.
"You're really going to have to tell me this story." Olivia stood up and pulled her jacket on.
"I'll give you the extremely shortened version." Scully followed her out of the establishment while pulling on her gloves. "I was following a lead for my partner while he was on vacation. I met this good-looking guy named Ed, who'd recently gotten a tattoo on his arm. It had the most amazing red I've ever seen in a tattoo. So he asks me out to dinner and I take him up on the offer. I'm so intrigued by his tattoo that when he says 'If you're so interested get your own.' I do."
"You have a tattoo?" Olivia asked in disbelief, as she led the way to her apartment.
"Yes, same red pigment was used. The next morning I wake up to an empty apartment."
"You slept with him?"
Scully shook her head no. "I slept over. The weather was bad. Anyway he had gone to get breakfast, and while he was gone the local PD showed up. A girl in the downstairs apartment had been murdered. Turns out Ed, the guy I went out with killed her. There was an impurity in the ink used and it caused auditory hallucinations. He thought his tattoo was talking to him. I was going to get him to a hospital for treatment, when he figured out I was FBI his tattoo told him to attack me. In the midst of the fight I lost consciousness. Hit a wall too hard or something. When I came to I was in the basement of his apartment building, wrapped in a sheet. The furnace door was open and since I was not about to let him throw me in, he burned his arm. I guess he was trying to get the woman on his arm to shut up."
"You're serious?"
"Yep, it's all on file at the J. Edgar Hoover building. I've even got the tattoo to prove it."
"So did your tattoo talk to you?" Olivia couldn't stop grinning.
"No, there was so little dye used in my tattoo that it had no effect on me."
"We're here." Olivia announced when they reached her apartment building.
Olivia opened the door and walked in. She tossed her jacket on the couch and headed for the kitchen. "Hot chocolate, coffee, water, grape juice?"
"Hot chocolate sounds good." Scully closed the door and took in her surroundings. It was a cute little apartment, fairly well kept. She heard the microwave running in the other room as she pulled off gloves and shoved them in her coat pocket.
"Make yourself comfortable." Olivia smiled as she returned to the living room and picked her coat up off the couch. "Can I take yours?"
Scully slipped out of her coat and handed it to Olivia, who hung the coats up and headed back to the kitchen. She came out a few minutes later with two mugs of steaming cocoa, topped with whipped cream and cinnamon. Scully was still standing in the living room taking everything in. Olivia laughed lightly. "Make yourself comfortable."
"Thanks." Scully smiled, and moved around to the couch. She sat down and took the offered mug from Olivia's outstretched hand. As their fingers brushed, Scully couldn't help but feel the tingle the brief touch offered her. She brought the cup to her lips and tasted the smooth cocoa.
"Mmmm." Scully didn't stop the sigh of approval from escaping her lips, which caught her off guard. She was usually so posed, so controlled.
"It's Giradelli, I wouldn't have any other."
"It's delicious, and I like the personal touch. The cinnamon adds just the right twist."
"Thanks." Olivia held her mug between her hands warming her fingers.
As they sipped the steaming beverage they began talking about other things, giving Olivia the luxury of avoiding Scully's earlier inquisition. They discussed Scully's family and some of her history with the FBI. The story of Ed and the tattoo had really sparked Olivia's interest. They moved on to favorite sports. Olivia had played soccer in high school and was able to go to college on a full soccer scholarship. Scully had played volleyball. She explained that recently Mulder had gotten her into baseball, well at least in hitting baseballs and she occasionally would go to the batting cage after a particularly bad case. Something her partner didn't even know about her. After discussing favorite movie genres, Scully glanced at her watch.
"It's already after twelve." She sighed, not wanting to leave just yet. They were having such a good time, and learning so much about each other.
Feeling the same way, Olivia smiled. "Why don't you stay here? I've got a sleeper in here."
Scully watched her pat the couch, and grinned. "You know I have nothing to sleep in."
"Nothing's fine." Olivia said without thinking. She caught the intriguing look Scully gave her, as her tongue snaked over her bottom lip. "I've got something that should be fine. If you'll follow me, I'll see what I've got for you to sleep in."
"Ok." Scully followed her down the hall to the bedroom.
Olivia pulled open a drawer and pulled out two pairs of plaid flannel pants. One was green and navy with a touch of white, the other purple, green and navy. She handed the first pair to Scully and then pulled out a thick green t-shirt, keeping a navy one for her self. "That should do. Bathroom's across the hall."
After Scully changed she neatly folded her clothes and laid them on the dresser in Olivia's now empty room. She found her way back to the living room. Olivia was sitting with one leg curled under her on the couch, she laughed at the rolled up pant legs, and shirtsleeves. "Sorry, they're a little big."
"They're comfortable, that's all that matters." Scully sat opposite her on the couch, and curled both legs under her.
Olivia sat there thoughtfully trying to decide just how much to tell her new friend. She really hadn't planned on telling her at all, but something about Dana Scully made Olivia want to trust her with her darkest secret. "I really don't know what you want to hear."
Scully looked up at her surprised until she saw slightest hint of pain dancing behind brown eyes. "Oh, that. Olivia, you don't have to tell me anything, if you don't want to. I understand. We hardly know each other."
"It's not a matter of wanting to, it's a matter of not wanting to scare you off."
"Why would you scare me off?" Fear gripping at her insides as she realized she'd left her sidearm in Olivia's bedroom.
"There aren't many people who know this about me, it's not something I share with just anyone. But I find myself trusting you. I'm just not sure what it is you want to know."
"The truth, and whatever you are willing to share." Scully settled back, fearing nothing but the pain in Olivia's eyes.
"I really don't know why I decided to become a cop. Guess I wanted to help people, and all I really wanted to do was make detective. I graduated from Sienna and joined the NYPD, when I made detective I worked homicide for a year before a position came open in SVU. I jumped at it. And there are really several reasons, but I guess they all hinge on one." Olivia promised not to cry, as she sat her mug on the coffee table. "My mom was raped."
When Scully didn't say anything Olivia looked up to see the most patient understanding eyes looking back at her. Scully didn't know what to say, and she felt there was more Olivia needed to say. She placed her empty mug beside Olivia's, and in the process slid a little closer to her.
"I," Olivia choked back the tears and looked away. She took a deep breath and gathered the courage to go on. "I watched what that did to my mom. The years of torment she lived through. Never trusting men, never getting past one or two dates. She turned to alcohol as a friend. I hate the man who did that to her."
She felt a hand touch her shoulder. "It's ok to hate someone for hurting your mother."
"I hate him." Olivia repeated. "I hate him for hurting her. I hate him for hurting me. I hate my own father."
Scully pulled Olivia against her chest and held her while she sobbed. After several minutes Olivia spoke again. "Dana. I am a product of that rape."
She didn't say anything, only held her tighter as a new wave of tears over took her.
When Olivia heard her alarm go off the next morning she was surprised to find she wasn't in her bedroom. And her couch was bonier than she'd remembered it. It was then that she realized someone's arms were around her. Dana, it hadn't been a dream, she was real.
Olivia carefully extracted herself from the protective arms. Even asleep, Scully held that quality about her. Careful not to wake her, she went to the bedroom to quiet the alarm. Scully was still sound asleep when she returned. Olivia took the mugs to the kitchen and started breakfast. Her morning exercise routine would have to wait for another day. One in which a beautiful woman wasn't sleeping on her couch. She really hadn't expected her to stay the night, especially after what she'd told her. Too many times she'd been left alone to cry. Her eyes were still a little puffy from a night of tears. While waiting for the oven to preheat, she threw some cold water on her face.
Scully awoke to the smell of frying bacon. She lay there for a minute with eyes closed. She realized she wasn't in her bed, wasn't in a bed at all. A couch? Mulder's couch? No, Mulder didn't cook. Her eyes jerked open when she remembered something about New York and a lecture.
"I was just coming to wake you." Olivia stood at the foot of the couch with a plate of bacon, eggs and biscuits in one hand, a glass of orange juice in the other. "Dana? Are you alright?"
Scully looked at her watch, it was just six. Her lecture wasn't until sometime around ten. It was all coming back to her now. Where she was, and why she was there. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"I made you breakfast." Olivia sat it on the coffee table while Scully sat up. She looked so cute with her morning flyaway hair, and oversized PJs.
"Thanks." She reached for the orange juice while Olivia went to retrieve her own.
They ate in silence, and when Scully had cleared her plate she turned to face Olivia. "Thanks for breakfast, it was wonderful."
Olivia nodded. "No problem."
"How are you this morning?"
"I'm fine." Olivia wouldn't look at her.
"Do you regret sharing that part of yourself with me?"
"You'll leave at the end of the week, we'll never see each other again. What's to regret?"
"Is that why you told me?"
Olivia heard the hurt in Scully's voice, and felt her move further away on the couch. "No."
"Is that what you believe? That we'll never see each other again?"
"Maybe."
"Your choice or mine?"
"Yours."
"Really?" The hurt in her voice was tearing at Olivia's soul, but she couldn't say anything. She still held her fork and twirled it aimless between her fingers. Scully broke the momentary silence. "If you didn't tell me because you thought I'd be someone you knew for a week of your life, then why did you tell me?"
Olivia didn't answer the question, instead she asked one of her own. "Do you regret asking?"
"When I first asked, in the grill I did. There was a flash of something in your eyes, and while I wanted to know more, I didn't want to cause you pain."
"Do you regret knowing?" Olivia looked at her this time.
"No." There was no hesitation, no thought, just an answer. "And just so you know, I don't go home with just anyone who I've just met. Ed was a freak thing, the weather played a big role in that."
"And I'm just a freak." Olivia lightly stabbed the fork into her leg.
"I didn't say that. Olivia, what I'm trying to tell you is;" Scully sighed. "I don't know why I came here last night. I'm not one who makes friends easily. I don't let just anyone into my life, and I don't think you do either. I don't think you actually believed you would never see me again after this week, and if you did then I am sorry I seemed to have misjudged your character."
When Olivia didn't respond, Scully stood up and took her plate to the kitchen. Olivia had already cleaned up the other dishes, so Scully washed her plate before putting it in the rack to dry. That done she walked through the living room, glancing at the couch only long enough to note Olivia hadn't moved. She found her clothes and changed in the bathroom. When she returned to the living room Olivia looked up.
"I had a lot of fun last night, more fun than I could have dreamt, considering why I'm in town. You actually made me glad my partner ditched me to stay home." Scully found her coat.
"Where are you going?" Olivia asked, already knowing the answer.
"Back to the hotel, I need to review my lecture and get a shower."
"I told you, I would get you back in time. Give me fifteen minutes to shower and dress."
Scully pulled her coat on, and put her hand on the doorknob. "Olivia, you're a special woman. Take care of yourself."
With that she was gone, and Olivia couldn't find the strength to run after her. She knew there had been no advances made from either side. Even though her heart was breaking she knew that above all else the only thing she was losing was a chance for a great friendship. Besides they had known each other less than twenty-four hours. So why did it hurt so badly? Olivia cried.
"Hello?" Her voice cracked as she answered the phone.
"Liv, are you ok?" It was Elliot and he knew she'd been crying.
"Fine."
"You told her?"
"What?" Olivia asked. Elliot knew it was one of her deepest secrets shared with only special people.
"Did she stay the night?" He decided to let the other question rest.
"She just left, ten minutes ago. And get your mind out of the gutter."
"So you didn't sleep together?"
"What kind of woman do you take me for?"
"Definitely not a one night fling woman."
"Good, besides I don't think she's…" Her voice trailed off.
"Then why are you crying?"
"I'm not crying."
"Ok, Ms. 'I never cry.' Are you still going to the seminars today?"
"I don't know."
"Olivia what happened?"
"Nothing. Elliot, I've got to go."
"Will I see you today?"
"I might be late, but I'll be there." She hung up, and went to put on her running clothes. It was later than she usually went to the gym, but she had to work things out in her head.
"Hello?" Scully's hotel phone was ringing the second she walked in. She hoped it was Olivia.
"Scully, you're alive!"
"Of course I'm alive Mulder."
"You were supposed to call when you got in."
"Considering I just walked in the door, I haven't had time."
"Scully, you didn't get another tattoo did you?"
"Actually Mulder I did, it's a big gray Alien with the words 'trust no one' under it."
"I'm serious Scully."
"Mulder, I'm fine. And no, I didn't get a tattoo."
"'Trust no one' huh? What'd he do to you?"
"Why is it that if I went out on the town, it had to be a guy?"
"It wasn't a guy? You sounded giddy last night, thought it had to be a crush."
"You thought wrong."
"Ok Scully, I'll admit I was wrong. But you have to tell me why you're so upset."
"I'm not upset Mulder." She bit back a little too hard.
"You're upset Scully."
"Look I thought I had made a friend."
"And?" He knew how hard it was to get to Scully. It was almost as hard as making her friends list.
"Either she is punishing herself for something she has no control over, or I totally misjudged her character."
"Well Scully, if it's any consolation, I've never known you to misjudge anyone's character. So what's she punishing herself for?"
"I don't know that she is, it's just a theory."
"Based on?"
"Something she trusted me enough to tell me, so I can't really say."
"Good enough. Are you ready for your lecture?"
"After I shower and put on some clothes."
"You're not wearing any clothes? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"I'm wearing clothes Mulder. But I should go get ready."
"Do me a favor first?"
"What?"
"Turn your cell phone back on and leave it on."
"Sorry." She mumbled before hanging up.
Scully scanned the room and didn't see either detective. Either they had gone to another seminar, since her lecture was geared more toward Medical Examiners, or Olivia had decided not to come back after all. The lecture wasn't scheduled to start for another ten minutes, and Scully gave up on hoping the detective would show. She started getting her things situated for the lecture.
Elliot and Alex stood in the lobby talking, they had expected Olivia to show up in the middle of the first seminar but she hadn't. They were just about to go into the room set up for the forensic pathology seminar, when Alex spotted her. "Olivia, over here."
"What are you doing here?"
"Arthur told me to check out the line up today. Things are even slow in homicide."
"We were just getting ready to go in." Elliot pointed at the sign. "Unless you wanted to catch the other lecture."
"Let's see, dead bodies or cleaning guns. Cleaning guns, or dead bodies? I just can't decide." Alex laughed as Olivia stated 'dead bodies' and entered the conference room.
They all three looked to the podium where Scully was preoccupied with getting things ready. Alex had wanted to see her again ever since lunch the previous day. She didn't know what it was, but she felt the tension building in Olivia as she watched the proficient agent. "You ok?"
"I'm fine." Olivia looked at the beautiful blonde and smiled. Last night was the first night she hadn't thought about Alex, or dreamt of her. Now she would be glad to replace the images of Dana with those of Alex, but she couldn't. She still loved Alex the same way she always had, she couldn't bear to lose her. But those were the exact same feelings she had for Dana, and she was losing her.
"Is this good?" Elliot asked pointing to three empty chairs together.
"Perfect." Alex sat on the aisle seat getting the best view. Olivia sat beside her and slouched down in the chair until she couldn't be seen from the podium. Elliot gave her a funny look before sitting beside her.
"I'm getting the best position to catch a nap."
"You're hiding." He whispered. "I don't know what happened, but she's looking for you Liv."
Olivia slid down further in the seat. She didn't see Scully mouth "Is she here," or her partner nodding. She was relieved when the lecture started. She closed her eyes and listened to Agent Scully's voice as it bounced around the room. She was obviously pacing while she lectured. Time flew and before she knew it, Scully was asking if there were any questions. Several hands flew up, including Olivia's.
"Detective Benson?" Scully pointed up to her.
Olivia played it cool. "My partner and I work SVU, and you touched briefly on genetics. In our work we've come across the defense of 'My father was a rapist, therefore I inherited the gene and I am a rapist.' I think homicide could say they've heard the same thing in different context. 'My mother was a serial killer therefore I am a serial killer.' Doesn't matter if they grew up knowing the parent, they inherited the gene therefore it stands to reason they could become like their parents. What's your view on the subject?"
Alex seemed oblivious to Olivia's line of questioning, but Elliot knew exactly what she was doing. Either way Agent Scully was walking a thin line. "While I'm not a geneticist, I have heard the arguments both for and against. I have to tell you, it's a good defense if you're guilty and facing the death penalty, it's also a cop out defense. There is no solid scientific proof that evil is inherent. I don't buy it for a minute. My partner who is a renowned criminal profiler, known for his sometimes outlandish beliefs doesn't buy it either."
Olivia stood up and left when Scully moved on to the next question. Elliot tried to follow but he couldn't find her, so he returned.
"Where'd she go?" Alex asked when he returned.
"I don't know."
Agent Scully turned down the remaining questions announcing it was time to break for lunch. Alex and Elliot found their way down the isle and waited while Scully finished talking with a colleague.
"Would you like to grab a bite?" Alex asked when Scully turned toward them.
"I'd love too Alex, but I'm afraid it really would be an intrusion today."
Elliot put his hand on Alex's arm to prevent her from insisting the agent join them. "We need to find Olivia."
"Right." Alex followed his lead, and Scully finished gathering her things.
