In which Rachel Berry get denied from NYADA. Also known as, in which Rachel Berry kills herself. Rated M for darkness. I know she got into Thanks and enjoy.
Denied.
Unwanted. Disallowed. Refused. Forbade. Declined.
Denied.
A tiny heart,
A tiny face
Looks off into the horizon –
And she sees only as such:
Happiness breezing through her life's mizzen
And she wonders – what's the rush?
What's the worry – why the fear?
It's only, after all,
Freshmen year.
That girl's not here,
That girl's not there.
And every day, I'd shake my head.
Was she merely a character –
In a book I had read?
That girl's not here,
That girl's not there.
When they try to convince me,
Of this girl so full of glee –
I'd shake my head and sigh:
'Do you hear the way you lie?
That girl is not me.'
That girl's not here,
That girl's not there.
We ran on the grass,
Never the rough.
We skipped over the parts
That we considered 'tough'.
How I wish those days
Of the dwindling kind
Would have been more then a haze
That made us so blind.
That girl's not here,
That girl's not there.
Denied.
Deprived of. Starved of. Without. Unused to. Shorn of.
Denied.
Those people
So many people
Turned her away.
Those people
So many people
Stood in her way.
They called her names,
They pushed her down.
But she wouldn't play their games –
But she wouldn't ever frown.
That girl's not here,
That girl's not there.
And oh, how that girl would play
In her horrible, happy haze.
And oh, how that girl would play
In those golden, dizzy days.
In her play she'd appear on a stage –
Microphone in hand.
If only she knew, this was only a cage
The microphone of steely bars, that slipped away like sand.
Denied.
Turned away. Rejected. Negated. Refuted. Repudiated.
Denied.
And though I'd hate to say goodbye,
In a fashion such as this,
You all deserve a good cry –
You, the ones I'll miss.
So goodbye to the ones
That hold a place in my heart,
I'll weave for you the tons
Of weight from you all that made me part.
That girl's not here,
That girl's not there.
Goodbye, first, to the one who accepted;
When I was denied,
For you, my good friend, were never dejected –
For you, my good friend, were never mended to the ways of a lie.
Next to that girl;
With the pretty blonde hair,
Oh, how jealous I was of it's perfect curl,
That everyday, I felt nothing but bare.
And now to the one;
Who taught us the lessoned we'd learn,
In the message still of 'fun'
Even though you knew we'd just burn.
The girl who jumped and flipped;
While inside, she all but cried,
Inside, I know, you were silent-lipped,
And eventually you learned: there was nothing to hide.
And to you;
All the ones who've done me wrong,
I hope one day, to yourselves you'll be true,
And never sing my song.
That girl's not here,
That girl's not there.
Last, of course, to the boy to whom I'd sing;
You, of course, who tried to bind my finger
With a ring.
'A promise', you said,
If one day we wed,
But you did not know of all that'd linger.
But you did not know of the pain, my love,
Which house itself inside
The place by which my song should be
Was forever tied.
Goodbye, my lover – goodbye, my friend
We'll be together someday.
Goodbye, my lover – goodbye, my friend
We will not be together today.
Goodbye, my lover – goodbye, my friend
Today is my end.
Denied.
Denied.
Denied.
