Please Don't Leave Me
God damn you, Pink! Ever since I heard her song 'Please Don't Leave Me', it just.. I don't know… inspired me. Of course, what better way than to express my inspiration through AkuRoku, the amazingly toughlove!relationship that we've all grown to adore. (I'm twisted, don'tcha know.)
Anyhow:
Contains violence, swearing, character death and emo angst.
And boy X boy. Mmhmm.
Disclaimer: I only own yo' mum! –Cracks whip-
Shards of glass cut into Roxas' cheek, blood beading quickly and trickling down to his neck.
The destroyed ashtray lay in a thousand little pieces on the floor, smashed from the force that Axel had thrown it with. Luckily, it had missed its target- Roxas- by only a few inches, slamming into the wall behind the blond instead. Sapphire eyes wide and lit up with fear, Roxas tightened his shaking hands into fists before he stormed across the wrecked living room to Axel.
The sofa was soaked with spilt beer; the whole problem behind this latest violent episode in the series of Roxas and Axel's screwed up little life together. Roxas gagged on the foul stench of the lager hanging in the air as he absentmindedly stepped over an upturned table, trainer-clad foot catching on the broken wooden leg of the wretched thing.
Axel was livid. His face was burning almost as red as his hair, which in itself was billowing out behind him like flames to represent his anger. Those memorable emerald eyes were hard as stone and were trained relentlessly on Roxas. Although Roxas himself was blind with anger, it was impossible not to notice the unshed tears glimmering in the redhead's eyes as Roxas approached him. Still, those tiny little saltwater droplets- released or not- could do nothing to douse the blazing rage that the blond harboured. His arm drew back, his teeth grinding together uncomfortably as he slammed his fist into Axel's face. The force of the punch reverberated through the shorter male's body but it went unnoticed as he continued to hurl punches at the object of his frustrations. Blood pouring from the tiny little wounds in his face and forehead, Roxas looked a mess. Why was it, how was it that Axel could do this to him?
How could the older man get Roxas so angry, so hurt and broken with just a few words, a few actions?
Feeling each rivulet of anger pour into every hit, Roxas moved his fists at bullet-speed, pounding Axel's chest, arms and face with as many punches as he could manage. All of a sudden, his strength drained away and he sniffed sadly, raising disappointed and tired blue eyes to Axel's distressed green.
"Fuck you." He whimpered, ignoring how distraught Axel seemed to become with those words.
When Axel's large hands wrapped around Roxas' bony wrists and weakly pushed him away before he hurried out of the messy room, the door slamming closed with a loud, mocking bang behind him, the sick sense of satisfaction washed over the blond.
Axel had stopped throwing hits first.
Roxas had hit harder.
Roxas had won.
He collapsed where he stood.
"I don't understand why you would do it, Roxas!"
"Why the fuck do you care why?" Roxas snarled, pushing his face close to Axel's and giving the redhead a rough shove backwards.
Ignoring the question for now, Axel regained his footing and returned the favour, sending the shorter man slamming into a wall.
"Asshole! Because I care about you!" Each word was accentuated by the redhead's finger stabbing sharply into Roxas' chest.
"Oh yeah? Sure got a funny way of showing it!" hissed Roxas, flecks of spit meeting Axel's cheeks.
"You fuck up more than I do! That's all you are- just a little, selfish fuck-up!"
Roxas threw the first hit, smashing his clenched fist into Axel's high and chiselled cheekbone.
It wasn't like the last time, when they were both drunk- Axel more than Roxas- when the alcohol helped to numb some of the pain. Not the physical pain, but the pain of knowing they were hurting each other but each being in too much agony to care.
Now, they were fighting over Naminé. It was just one night- one time- it didn't mean anything. She was just there when Roxas was hurting inside. He didn't love her. If it bothered Axel so much, then maybe he should have been there for Roxas in the first place instead of sitting at home drowning his sorrows in drink. It was his fault for being that way! Roxas didn't want to apologise, even if he was in the wrong. They never did apologise to one another. It was just how things were between them- it was just how bad things had gotten.
"I wish I never met you!" Axel growled as he back-handed his boyfriend across the face.
Roxas' heart cracked and threatened to split into two.
"I wish you never even existed!" He returned, face pulsing with pain.
His internal hurt was reflected on the other's face, but neither of them succeeded in realising that fact.
Their shouts were increasing in volume, filling the bedroom with angry yells and screams as they hurtled insults at each other to accompany the blows they were dealing out. Lungs burning, knuckles bruised and aching and hearts breaking, they stared each other down, eyes sharp with fury.
The sour, metallic tang of blood filled up Roxas' mouth as his straight white teeth took the brute of a harsh hit. Face scrunched up in disgust, he spat the blood out onto the floor. Digging his fingernails into the palms of his hand, he took a few bold steps forward before reaching around Axel's head and tangling his fingers in the mussed up crimson spikes of Axel's hair.
In an action that was in no way gentle, he pressed his lips against Axel's, his aching teeth clinking against Axel's with the pure force of it. A few seconds later, he felt Axel slowly start to respond, the unmistakable taste of alcohol blending with that of blood as their tongues slid against each other. Heart thumping painfully and twisted in on itself in his chest, Roxas pulled away. He hadn't realised that he had started crying until the hot, angry tears slid down his bruising cheeks.
"I'm sorry." He whispered against the redhead's lips before turning and leaving.
He missed the murmured, heartfelt 'Me too'.
Axel was curled up on the couch clutching an empty glass bottle to his chest when Roxas came back home. Tears dried on his cheeks and blood on his chin, he was still in a sorry state. He had spent the past three hours sitting on an empty park bench in an abandoned park, wallowing in his own misery.
Nothing was right anymore. Things with Axel had become too much to bear.
Of course, the redhead wasn't entirely in the wrong. Roxas was just as much to blame. They were poor- they could barely afford to keep their apartment anymore. Axel's parents were dead and Roxas' had kicked him out once they found out he was gay. He still saw his cousin Sora, but he was the only relative that Roxas had any form of contact with. Work was hard- he was working too much for too long and not enough pay. Axel had lost his job six months ago because of drinking and since then, he'd only gotten worse.
They hit each other. It was nothing but a contest, but it still hurt. It was serious, yes. They made each other bruise, bleed and break. Sometimes, Roxas' friends told him to leave 'that asshole', that 'worthless jerk', but Roxas just couldn't. Couldn't do that to someone he still loved and who he hurt just as much as he was hurt in return.
Silently padding over to the couch, Roxas circled it with a blank expression on his face. Axel was in a total drunken daze, painted in the flickering light of the cracked TV screen. His eyes were at half mast, lips parted- the lower one split and swollen- but they still tugged up into a thin shadow of a smile that didn't quite reach his unfocused jade eyes when they fell upon Roxas.
"Hey, Gorgeous." The lanky man's words came out as a slur but the affection in them was still audible.
Scowling at the nickname, Roxas sent Axel a dirty look which only intensified when the brown glass bottle fell to the carpet with a dull thud. With unsteady and heavy limbs, Axel struggled to switch into a sitting position. Once he was settled, he reached for Roxas' hand but missed because of his jumpy and broken vision. A frown marred the handsome man's features, his brow wrinkling and lower, bloody lip sticking out in a childish pout. Trying again, he caught a hold of the younger man and gave a sharp tug, bringing Roxas tumbling forward until he stood between Axel's parted legs.
Suddenly, the confused and immature expression was gone, replaced with a loving smile. Tenderly, Axel's fingertips brushed along Roxas' cheekbone- the side where splinters of glass had left little dents in his skin. They ghosted over new bruises, over a deep scratch made by a sharp fingernail that ran along the blonde's jaw, and gently came to rest on his lips.
"I don't tell you how beautiful you are often enough." Axel whispered, face falling sullen and ashamed. His short, thin red eyebrows shot up with his sincerity as he looked his partner straight in the eye. "You're beautiful."
"You're drunk." Roxas replied, sighing in exasperation.
The frown made its way back onto Axel's face.
"Maybe I am, but not much." Slowly, the frown morphed into a grimace. "Why should that change how beautiful you are to me?"
Roxas shrugged. Ocean-blue eyes downcast and avoiding the redhead's, he pulled him to his feet and started to lead him to the bedroom.
"Because you don't think clearly when you're drunk, Axel," Roxas bit out, squeezing his eyes shut in the pain of an oncoming tension headache. "And you're always drunk."
Hurt washed over Axel's face as he was firmly pushed back onto the double bed, the blue sheets of which were tangled and bunched up messily. Dropping to his knees, Roxas ignored the look of pain, letting out a deep, strained breath as he started to pull Axel's socks off of his feet. Looking up, he found Axel's gaze trained on him. Schooling his countenance into something less expressive, he leaned up and flicked the drunken male's jean button open with his thumb.
He could just feel the questions about to fall from Axel's mouth- like, why was he looking at him like that? What was wrong? Was he going to leave?
In a hasty attempt to fight this tangible awkward situation off, Roxas kept his breathing steady as he swiftly dropped a hand into Axel's now unzipped jeans, palming his crotch firmly through the thin cotton of his boxers.
The redhead's sharp gasp was indicative of his confusion but Roxas knew that with just a few more strokes, he'd work through Axel's surprise until the other man's mind stopped working and there would be no questions screaming for answers; just Axel screaming for Roxas. Wasting no time, Roxas' nimble hands made short work of his boyfriend's black boxers, moving them down just enough to tug out his erection.
With cerulean eyes as empty as his chest, Roxas took Axel's length into his mouth, lips wrapped around the head and tongue swiping at the pre-cum beading at the tip. He had to ignore the slight twinges of pain shooting from his previously-abused teeth, still smarting from the punch Axel had thrown at him earlier. Soon, the redhead was letting out gasps and moans in time to each bobbing motion of Roxas' head, the long fingers of one hand entangled in blonde spikes, encouraging him, urging him to continue.
Roxas swallowed the thick white substance when it shot into his mouth, and with it, he swallowed all of Axel's worries and questions. His large hands tightened in Roxas' hair, the force of his grip ripping out a few straw-blonde strands. Roxas barely winced, though, as he pushed himself back up to standing, wiping his bruised knuckles across his swollen lips to clean them of any stray drops of come.
Axel's back hit the mattress with an almost symbolic thud. His uneven, shallow breathing – caused by the feeling of ecstasy shooting through his alcohol-plagued veins- eventually eased into something deeper as sleep washed over him. Movements robotic and stiff, Roxas tugged Axel's baggy and ripped jeans from his legs, tucking his softened member back into his boxers before throwing the thin duvet over his prone form. He paused as he reached the doorway, nails digging deeply into the chipped paint as he fought down the desire to turn back around and place a goodnight kiss on his partner's slightly-parted pink lips.
Shaking his head, he closed the door quietly. He wasn't going to sleep in the same bed as Axel. Not tonight. Maybe he wouldn't tomorrow night or the night after that. Maybe they would never share the same bed again. Dragging his shoeless feet across the faded teal carpet, stained with spilt alcohol and blackened in a few spots by the burn of cigarettes, Roxas made his way over to the couch.
He fell forwards onto his front, his swollen cheekbone meeting the foul-smelling cushion, sending a dull ache through his face.
A hiss of frustrated anger escaped his lips as he reluctantly got to his feet once more. His limbs were numb and cold as he stumbled into the bathroom to clean himself up. Wetting a wad of cheap, home-brand toilet paper, he situated himself in front of the grubby mirror to gently dab the dried blood from his face. He winced as the ice-cold tissue paper met his hot skin- heated from the buzzing of white blood cells beneath the cuts, which would be desperately trying to heal him as he wiped at the scabbed over cuts.
When he was done, he dumped the orange-tinted makeshift cloth into the waste paper basket, turning back to the mirror. The glass was pleasantly cool against his palm as he pressed his hand against it. Just staring at his reflection, though, at the almost unrecognisable image of the boy he was, made his blood boil. Purple, yellow, blue and red were painted across his pale skin in the forms of bruises and cuts.
"Like his own fucking personal canvas." Roxas spat bitterly, ignoring the fact that his breath had steamed up the glass.
His fist met the mirror with a mockingly loud crash. Wild cracks stretched out from around his hand, large shards of the glass slicing into his knuckles, fingers and even his wrist as he relaxed his arm, letting it drop downwards although it caught on broken glass on the way.
Satisfied because he could no longer see his mirror image before him, Roxas stumbled backwards into the wall. His back connected with the hard surface with a dull thud, though the pain was nothing compared to the burning wounds in his hand and arm. Blood was quickly dripping to the floor around his as his arm rested against the white tiled floor. It was a nice contrast, he thought, the scarlet against the snow.
A tiny smile found its way onto his lips as he realised the blood was pouring out faster and taking his last little lucid thoughts with it. He was already so tired. The gashes weren't very long but they were quite deep; not enough for him to die, though. The final little intelligence in his mind told him that he wasn't even going to pass out. He could space out though.
The sounds of grumbled curse words that followed the unmistakable noises of objects being knocked to the floor were what alerted Roxas that Axel was coming. The bathroom door was pushed open with a creaky groan, the still slightly drunk redhead swaying unsteadily in the doorway. His emerald eyes widened when they fell upon the blond, whose cut open arm was slowly starting to tingle.
"Shit, Roxas." Axel's gangly limbs were a blur of motion as he dove for the roll of toilet paper. His fingers shook as they unwound an excessive amount of the thin paper and pressed it to his boyfriend's bleeding arm.
Roxas watched Axel's actions with a blank expression, only wrinkling his nose slightly in disgust as small pieces of cheap tissue stuck to his flesh when the soaked material was pulled away.
Seemingly less frantic now, Axel pulled out a cloth from the bathroom cabinet, sure to step over the fragments of broken glass even in his slow state. He wet it in the sink, but as he looked down at the sharp pieces on the floor, his eyes widened once more.
"Fuck! There's probably still glass in your arm! What the hell were you playing at, Roxas? Who goes around punching mirrors?"
A sardonic smile twisted his chapped lips, Roxas sent his concerned partner a scornful look. "Who goes around punching their boyfriends?"
"I- what? We'll, we'll talk about this later. Come on, I need to get you cleaned up." Axel was hurting because of Roxas and the blond knew that. Still, the combined effects of the blood on his arm and the emptiness in his chest meant that he couldn't bring himself to feel bad. He couldn't bring himself to feel anything other than the stinging in his wrist.
Taking Roxas by his uninjured arm, Axel hefted him to his feet to make him sit on the edge of the bath while he rummaged around for some tweezers. He sat knelt between Roxas' spread legs, worrying his lower lip between his teeth in his relentless concentration. Droplets of perspiration beaded on his brow, beneath the wild jumpy pattern of his irregular hairline. Roxas tried to focus his tired eyes on those little details instead of the heavy heartbeat in his arm and the twinges of nothing in his chest that he got when he looked into Axel's expressive jade orbs.
Placing the last tiny fragment of glass on a wad of toilet roll, Axel regarded Roxas calmly. Face blank, he leaned forwards to place a soft, lingering kiss on Roxas' hot forehead.
"We'll make this work." He promised, his hands clasping Roxas' shoulder before pulling him into an awkward embrace that Roxas didn't respond to.
When Axel pulled away, he looked unsure; a slight frown on his face as he ran his hand through the messy red spikes of his hair.
"No." Roxas said coldly. "We won't. I can't do this anymore."
Axel's weak little heart skipped a beat as his blood ran cold like liquid nitrogen through his veins.
"What are you saying?" It was obvious that he was trying so hard to keep his voice from shaking, his grip so tight on Roxas' shoulder, still, that his knuckles were burning white.
With a strong kind of determination, Roxas pushed Axel's hand from his arm and shoved him out of his way with his shoulder. Hurriedly, he made his way through their untidy house, refusing allow himself even a single glance back at Axel.
"It's over." He said, voice stiff and stoic.
Grabbing a kitchen towel from the counter, he wrapped it hastily around his wrist to stem the flow of bleeding. No sooner had he tied the half-assed knot to hold it in place, did Axel come storming after him, arms flying around as he hurried over to Roxas, who was already halfway through the door.
The rubber soles of his Converse squeaked against the linoleum floor of the steps leading down to the lobby of the cheap apartment block. The sound was mockingly loud against the silence of the sleeping building but it was soon overrun by Axel's harsh cries for him to stop, to wait, to come back. It was when the noises of Axel's combat boots smacking against the floor tiles behind him that he increased his pace, switching into a run as he flew through the main door.
Roxas' breaths clouded up in the cold night air, visible in the dim light of the streetlamps. Feeling the cuts in his arm starting to pulsate horribly as he ran faster, Roxas grimaced. Despite the feeble protests of his body, he sped up, Axel still following him.
"Roxas! Don't!" The older man shouted, loud enough for a few lights to flicker on in the windows of the houses around them, even though it was stupidly early in the morning. It was at least three AM.
"Wait! Roxas! Shit, please, don't!"
As Roxas turned the dark street corner, Axel caught up. The redhead's slender fingers wrapped themselves around Roxas' bare forearm and he found himself suddenly slammed up against the tatty brick wall of a house.
His breath left him in a startled gasp, eyes squeezing shut tightly with the force of the impact. Shut off from the world like that, when he felt Axel's lips pressed against his, he was more than surprised.
The kiss was hesitant at first, simple but still pouring out heartfelt emotions into his soul through his lips.
His heart started to twist against his ribcage but Roxas didn't want to kiss Axel. He wanted Axel out of his life. Or at least, that's what he wanted to believe that he wanted. Even when he opened his eyes, it was too dark to see anything but Axel's shimmering emerald eyes. The streetlight above them was broken, blanketing them in darkness.
Hands slowly spreading out flat against the taller man's toned chest, Roxas gave a hard, warning shove.
"No." He growled, wiping the kiss away from his lips with the back of his hand. They stubbornly refused to let go of the tingle that he always got whenever Axel touched his lips to Roxas'.
"Please don't leave me." Axel was close to sobbing now, his hands shaking as he reached for Roxas' arm, the injured one. His pale hands closed over the towel that had been tied there as he stepped closer. "I can't do anything without you. I'll change, I promise!"
"You said that three months ago! Six months ago! How many fucking times are you going to lie to me, Axel?" Voice screaming his frustration, Roxas shook away Axel's grip. He let out a small yelp under his breath as he felt the scabbing-over gashes in his arm peel open once more with the movement. Instantly, warm, wet blood started to soak through the rough white fabric of the makeshift bandage.
"Shit." He cursed out loud, wincing a little at the slight pain.
"Sorry!" Axel apologised quickly, bravely wrapping an arm around Roxas' small shoulders and tucking his head into the blonde's neck, his face wet with newly shed tears. "Please, please, don't leave me." He begged, heart twisting against his ribcage with the pain Roxas was causing him, the desperation.
Anger welled up within Roxas.
The warning shove was nothing compared to the next one, with all of his weight put behind it.
Axel went flying backwards, off of the thin sidewalk and into the middle of the road.
Where he tripped over his own foot and fell further backwards.
Right in front of a car that came speeding round the corner.
There was no moment in which everything started to run in slow motion in Roxas' eyes. It was all so fast. The damn driver didn't even stop. Perhaps he or she was drunk from their adventures at a bar on that late Saturday night. Either way, that didn't make a difference to Roxas as he watched Axel's helpless, skinny body shooting at least six feet through the air, his eyes wide with terror as he fell. A harsh scream ripped its way from his throat as he threw himself towards Axel, who was lying motionless, sprawled out against the tarmac.
Features frozen in shock and immense pain, Axel looked so weak. Desperately, Roxas gripped the redhead's arm- not the one that was twisted at a funny angle, but the one that had been ripped open on the rocky ground. He clutched it to his chest as tears slipped down his cheeks, never-ending. They dropped onto Axel's cheeks as the blonde curved over to press wet kisses to his boyfriend's cheeks.
Axel was still breathing and Roxas was sure that he wasn't in pain anymore. He couldn't move but his eyes were impossibly wide. Just one look, and Roxas felt all that forgotten emotion that had folded in on itself over the past few months- it became too much for his strained little heart to cope with and it exploded against his ribcage, as disgusting as the sight of Axel before him, all broken and dying.
He must have been paralysed. When Roxas pressed his lips to Axel's in one last, painfully heartfelt kiss, they left rust-coloured blood smeared across the dying man's. How sickeningly ironic, Roxas thought. Perhaps blood-kisses had become their signature expression of affection. That metallic tang was ever-present in all of their kisses lately. To realise that was sickening.
The pale body of his partner started to quiver, to tremble and when Roxas turned teary blue eyes to shimmering green, he saw pure terror. Axel was so scared. Tears started to pour out like miniature waterfalls as Roxas realised he couldn't do anything. He couldn't even lie to make Axel feel better.
His throat was thick with his shaky sobs and he couldn't tell Axel he was going to live- that he was going to be okay. He couldn't lie- not in these final moments, when it really mattered. Not after the last few, tiring months of their long relationship had been so full of untruths and hurt.
Still, he was trembling, insides turning to ice as he collapsed on Axel's heaving chest. The man beneath him was struggling to breathe, wheezy gasps barely audible over the stream of curses and mumbled words of nothing that slipped from Roxas' mouth.
Resting his forehead over the slowing beat of Axel's heart, Roxas screamed into the redhead's blood-soaked t-shirt.
He felt Axel trying to say something. He couldn't hear it, no, but he just knew. They had always been so in tune with each other but had somehow lost that. Now, when it was needed the most, it came back-that link that tied them so tightly together. Looking back up at the agony-filled face of his boyfriend, Roxas saw what Axel wanted to say in his darkening eyes.
I love you, they screamed. Don't leave me. Please, please don't leave me.
Choking on the pure feelings that overwhelmed him, Roxas shook his head slowly, trying to make Axel understand.
"No, no, I wouldn't. No… I love you, Axel. Fuck, I'm so sorry." He blubbered, chest tightening to a feeling worse than pain. "It's all my fault. Sorry, sorry... I love you, Axel, oh, God..."
It could have been Roxas' imagination, but just before that lingering light in Axel's eyes went out, he could have sworn the redhead gave a jerky nod of acceptance- of forgiveness- of apology- of love in return.
They should have told each other more often, that they loved each other.
Roxas cried, howling with agony and hunched over Axel's dead body and whispering his 'I love you's into the bloody fabric of his boyfriends chest. No matter how many times he told the cold body beneath him, it could never be enough.
The last pile of earth was smoothed out over the small mound under which Axel's coffin lay, the funeral over. Heart clenching painfully in his chest, Roxas schooled his expression carefully. He wouldn't cry, he told himself. He had cried over Axel's lifeless body until it went cold and longer still after that. It wasn't until morning that they were found, the pale light of the sunrise going unnoticed by Roxas, whose eyes were dry with no more tears to cry and whose soul was as dead as the corpse he lay clutching close to him.
Kairi was doing all the crying now. Her angelic face was buried in her hands and she seemed almost too childish to be at a funeral. Too naïve and sheltered to understand Roxas' pain that was ripping him in two all over again. Sora was standing next to Roxas, a comforting hand on his cousin's shoulder and the other hand clasping Riku's, their fingers twined together in a unknowingly mocking way.
When he turned to hug Sora tightly, Roxas shot the point of physical connection between Sora and his boyfriend a harsh glare. Twinges of guilt came afterwards; why should he be bitter about their happiness? They still had each other, thank God.
Sora would still have Riku after this.
The hug was tight but short- Roxas unwilling to express his grief openly. Kairi's sobs had quieted into little sniffles as she dabbed at her eyes with a black handkerchief.
"I'm sorry for your loss, Roxas." She sniffed, wrapping her small arms around him in a light embrace before rushing off to avoid bursting into tears again.
"Thanks," Roxas murmured to her hastily retreating form. Sora gave him a horribly sympathetic look- and he looked like he was hurting almost as much as Roxas was. His cousin's sense of empathy would be his downfall, Roxas was sure. "Thank you, Sora. For coming, I mean."
Sora looked surprised. "Of course, Roxas. Axel is- was- an amazing man. I'm glad you found each other. He loved you so much and I loved him for that." It was soppy, but Roxas was a little touched by the emotion shining through in his relative's words.
Nodding at Riku- as he had never liked the silver-haired male too much anyway- Roxas gave his cousin one final hug. "I love you. Be happy, yeah, Sora?"
Sora squeezed him more tightly. "I know, and you'll feel better one day, Roxas. I promise that the pain will go away; perhaps sooner than you think. I love you, too."
"Take care, Riku." The blonde surprised all three of them by reaching out and actually shaking Riku's hand. "Take care of Sora too."
Although Riku's platinum eyebrows jumped up to his hair line at this added statement, he nodded slowly. "Take care of yourself, too, Roxas."
Sora and Riku turned to leave the graveyard, leaving Roxas alone next to Axel's grave. He let out a heavy sigh, summoning up all of his courage before he followed in his relative's footsteps, back to his shabby little car. His cousin and Riku had already driven off into the distance and once Roxas was sure they were gone, he popped the trunk of his car and took out a worn out black backpack. Slinging it over one shoulder, he trudged back to the freshly filled in grave.
He slumped down next to the new stone- the one that had cost almost everything in his bank account. The redhead's name was declared at the top. Tracing his fingertips over the frozen stone, Roxas didn't feel the temperature so much as the pinpricks of pain the feel of each deeply carved letter sent spiralling through his body. Slumping down next to it, he felt as heavy as a rock. He curled up against the gravestone, resting his cheek against it. He was sitting just to the side of the burial mound, legs brought up so that he could rest his arm across his knees.
A bottle of vodka was resting between his thighs. It was full, and he used it to down the two capsules of sleeping pills that he'd brought with him, hidden in the depths of the bag he'd brought with him. It didn't take him long to finish the vodka, the liquid burning his throat something awful. Instead of feeling it, though, he focused on the lettering of the grave he was practically cuddling.
A sad little smile appeared on his lips as his vision began to grow distorted, his mind fuzzy and hazy, he himself growing more and more distant with each passing second. He pressed a clumsy kiss to Axel's name before he collapsed beside the headstone.
The empty bottle rolled from his lax grip and when it stopped rolling with momentum, Roxas' fragile and broken little heart stopped beating.
He would never leave Axel.
