Okie Dokie, before this starts a little summary so that you're not reeling with confusion:

This little AU adventure is taken from a fic-in-progress I have about P.I. Ike and Detective Link being 'Bestest buddies with extreme benefits'. But, they break off the whole sex thing after Ike gets with Marth. And after about 3-4 months of being a lonely, lonely elf boy, Link finds Pit and BOOM! Love at first sight. (More like lust though. Link's a crafty one.) Oh! And Endinton (The town they are in) is an anagram of Nintendo. Yeah, I'm that sad.

So yeah. When it's going to be written is...indefinite. I may just leave it as a chain of one shots. Nobody knows.

Ready? GO!


Both Link and Pit heavily sighed as they entered the upper-class apartment, the former tearing off his suit jacket and throwing it to one side.

"Want anything to drink?" The Hylian called out as he dropped his keys on the kitchen counter and proceeded to open the fridge in search of a beverage.

"No thank you, I'm fine." Pit replied almost immediately in a dejected tone, sitting at the square dining table opposite the kitchen. His hand ran solemnly through his hair, quickly adjusting his lopsided golden olive wreath.

Link sighed once more. He almost felt cruel for the things the boy saw on a daily basis. Dead bodies, whether disembowelled or decapitated to those Link would have to dispatch because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Of course he felt remorse over those civilian deaths, every time, but he just didn't have time to dwell over them. Who knew when or where jobs would pick up, and what would be involved. 'Live in the moment' as he had told Pit a few months ago.

The Hylian wandered over to the table also, sitting opposite the angel who was absent-mindedly flapping his wings.

"Miss flying in Skyworld?" He queried, taking a half-hearted sip from his glass of milk.

He waited, staring at the celestial being cautiously.

Nothing.

"Hey, Pit-" Link reached a hand out to cup the angel's cheek, stroking the soft skin with his thumb.

Pit gradually looked up, eyes completely absent. After a few blinks, his eyes brightened to their normal beauty, the Skyworld denizen pulling a small smile.

"I'm sorry, you were saying?"

"Nah, it's nothing." The Hylian's thumb continued to stroke the pudgy cheek for a time, Pit snuggling into the appendage.

"Say-" Link took his hand back after one last stroke, rising from his chair. He walked over to the large black corner sofa, leaning over the back to retrieve a sleek dark green laptop with a triforce on its lid.

Reassuming his seat at the table, he opened the portable computer and turned it round to face Pit.

"-You wouldn't be able to track Ganondorf for me, would you?"

Pit's face immediately darkened.

His wings flapped again, this time in frustration.

"Please Pit. Zellie's counting on me to keep this beast in control, and you know I can't do a thing without you. Please?"

The cherub sighed, moving a finger to hold the power switch on the computer. Link grinned and stood up, moving behind Pit to tilt his head backwards and tenderly kiss his lips.

"Thank you," He murmured into the boy's mouth, slipping his hands into his tresses. "Now I can get on with a month's worth of paperwork."

"Nmm-myuh..." Pit jabbered incoherently. Link's kisses did have a way of reducing him to jelly, no matter how brief or intimate.

Both the detective and his assistant settled at the chestnut table, one with a laptop and the other with a mound of papers. Link pushed his glasses up his nose without an ounce of spirit, grumbling to himself as he scribbled onto yet another civilian casualty report.

"Found him!" Pit chirped abruptly, looking around the wide screen to his mentor.

The Hylian stood, stretching his back as he walked around the table to view what he'd found. He leaned down; bracing his arms either side of the cherub and told him to commence explaining his findings.

"According to these police charts from different countries-" He brought up an internet browser with various tabs, all lists of wanted men and the time they were last seen in that land. "-Ganondorf has been to each one, as spotted in each of these CCTV shots assaulting innocent bystanders."

The angel changed the screen to a newspaper report, highlighting a certain section.

"It says here: 'The maniacal man rampaged through the streets, reducing all who stood near into bloody messes. He screamed into the air 'Your country, your people, your resources all belong to me. Bow down or be crushed like the rest of this worthless world. You will bow down.' Many hundred elite police officers and riot squad officers were lost in the vicious attack and all we can hope for is that this brute will never return as it seems there is no-one who can stop him.'"

Both Link and Pit dwelled in an eerie silence, the steady sound of the laptop being the only voice.

Pit broke the silence with an audible gulp, gathering his composure to continue.

"So, anyway. He was last reported in Hyrule a few days ago, having conducted an attempt on Hyrule Castle but was quickly thwarted." The angel looked upward at his lover, nibbling at his lower lip nervously. "I'm not sure if I'm accurate, but if you judge on the pattern from his travels thus far, he's going to attack here in a week."

"Huh." Link mused to himself, eyes flitting over the illuminated calculations Pit had made over the hour or so. His hands moved from the table, trailing up the boy's arms to his shoulders.

"You've done brilliantly today Pit," He whispered, lifting his head slightly to kiss his hair. "As you always do."

The angel merely grinned, tilting his head upwards to meet Link's lips briefly.

Link, however, held onto the angel, licking his lower lip as a request for entry. Pit granted it quickly, his fingers lacing between the blonde's locks as he twisted around, kneeling toward him on the wooden chair.

"I feel that good assistants should be rewarded," The Hylian spoke between lips locking, smirking at the dazed expression Pit gave as he held his head back to receive an answer. "Don't you?"

"Uh...Uh-huh?" He replied in haste, chastely bringing their mouths back together for another taste.

The Hylian laughed, hands snaking underneath the angel's bottom to lift him over the chair, the angel complying and immediately wrapping his legs around the elder's waist. Their kisses increased in fervour as Link stumbled backward, his back hitting one of the many full-length windows that replaced a wall toward the outside of the building.

Pit's enthusiastic clash of teeth and tongues reduced to only gentle pecks as his gaze focused to the outside, a subtle look of fear spreading across his features.

"What? I know it's a pretty view but I am lusting here." Link sulked, pecking at his cheek.

"No, it's not that-" Pit's gaze went from the illuminated cityscape to the indigo sky, his face wincing as he ducked down so that his head was behind Link's shoulder. "The Great Goddess can see us from here. What if she disapproves?"

"Pit. She knows you've already lost your virginity, so what can she see that'll be worse?"

Pit's nervous smile turned into a despondent pout.

"I-I didn't mean it like that..."

"It's fine Link." Pit gently pecked at the blond's mouth, hand shyly pointing toward a black door.

Link grinned and set off toward it immediately, continuing the attack on the angel's mouth.

He grunted as he kicked the door open, stumbling forward and dropping the angel onto the wide bed. He crawled on top of him without a word, connecting their mouths heatedly once more.

Pit groaned into the kiss, hands combing through Link's dark blond hair, giggling as the Hylian brought his fingers to his waist.

"Feeling better now?" He questioned, taking Pit's belt and throwing it haphazardly away. He lifted the angel's tunic, crawling down his body to grab at the younger's tight black shorts with his teeth.

"I-I guess so...You have that effect on me..." Pit gasped, watching his lover slowly pull his bottoms down, over his pink erection. He always dreaded the unveiling of his organ, it paled in comparison to Link's.

A muffled "Good" came from Link, him releasing the soft material to focus on other things.

"It's so cute." He commented, his hand gently grasping at the length. Slowly, he motioned his hand downward, pulling back the foreskin to reveal his prize.

"So, what do you think I should do with it?" He asked as he looked up, admiring a flustered Pit.

The angel, having his exomis gathered around his chin, struggled to gather words as the Hylian's finger slowly teased the head.

Link released a breathy chuckle, continuing his downward motion on the organ. After reaching the base, he brought his hand up again, effectively pumping the angel. His eyes drank the sight of Pit writhing and shivering, trying his best to restrain bucking his hips. The angel had always been sensitive as he had never experienced pleasure. During their first time, it only took a few strokes for Pit to orgasm - A record in Link's sexual history.

Pit's wing tips flapped feebly against the bed, emphasizing his feelings. Link chuckled to himself, popping the rosy head into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around the flesh, spluttering as Pit softly mewled his orgasm.

After feeling the last twitch of the shaft, the Hylian withdrew from the now limp organ. He guffawed as Pit attempted to sit up, using one finger to push his chest back toward the bed.

"That was quick," He whispered, descending to connect their lips once more.

"It was your talking. You don't have to sound all sultry like that, you know." Pit sulked, kissing lovingly as his hands worked at unzipping Link's suit trousers.

After Link had helped him to open the zip, Pit licked his lips, his hand gently stroking the organ. He giggled as Link groaned sensually, rolling his body into the angel's hand.

"Mn...Enough of that Pit." Link flipped their positions, placing the angel in his lap with his legs either side of his waist. "You ready for this?"

The cherub exhaled pleasurably, eyes lustfully watching Link's fingers encircle his puckered entrance. When the Hylian felt he was relaxed enough, he quickly dipped his fingers in the tub of lubricant he had opened and eased one into the opening.

He carefully watched Pit's expression as the digit delved deeper, stopping as it buried right in.

"You okay?" He asked worriedly, kissing the corner of the angel's frowning mouth.

Pit squirmed on the finger, nodding eventually as his body adjusted to the intrusion. Link took that as a sign to thrust the finger in and out, mouth making an assault on the crook of the angel's neck. Pit's cry was smothered with pain as Link added a further finger, keeping them still until Pit was comfortable. Soon, he began scissoring his fingers to gradually stretch the muscle, preparing it for his length.

"Ngh...Link....faster, please..." Pit slid himself up and down on the fingers, whimpering as Link suddenly withdrew his fingers.

"Sorry, can't wait any longer," He hurriedly spoke, hastily covering his aching length in the same lubricant as his fingers. He lay on his back on the plush mattress, watching Pit lean over him and prepare to insert himself. Link placed a hand on the angel's hip as he slowly filled himself with the organ, groaning with mixed pain and pleasure as he descended.

"I am so glad you stayed with me..." Link mused contentedly as Pit flapped his wings, adjusting himself on the organ. The angel smiled as he leaned forward to kiss the Hylian's lips once comfortable, pulling his hips upward before bringing them back down, groaning into Link's mouth. Both of the Hylian's hands rested upon the angel's hips, helping him with the action.

"So am I..."

*beepbeepbeepbeep*

Both Link and Pit froze immediately, the elder's hand digging into his trouser pocket. He gave Pit an apologetic smile and a finger to the lips as a sign to be quiet before flipping open the mobile phone.

"Detective Link Weiss."

If there was one thing Pit loved is when Link answered the phone. The way he spoke into the mouth piece with such an authoritative voice was heavenly somehow.

"Oh, hey Ike, I was just about to ring you...soon."

Pit rolled his eyes and sighed, sitting back on the Hylian's lap with crossed arms.

This was gonna take a while.

"Dinner? Sure, give us about...30 minutes. I'm in the midd-ah!" Link unintentionally groaned, glaring at Pit who was too busy pleasuring himself both ways to care.

"Yeah, Pit can be a bit of a tease, not that Marth is any different to you. Also, I have some interesting stuff on my laptop for both of you to see. Wha- No it's not me and Pit. That would be for my eyes only. No, my wondrous angel found Ganondorf-"

'My wondrous angel'

Pit smiled and leaned over to kiss the Hylian's jaw line, Link's possessiveness over him was one of his many attractive attributes.

"-You'll be able to speak to him there, I'm in the middle of something here. Yeah, tell Marth I said hi. See you there then, take care, bye."

Pit grinned as Link closed the phone and threw onto the bedside table.

"Now, weren't we up to something?" He whispered hoarsely, hand gently stroking at the cherub's erection.

Pit gave a quiet 'mhm' before sliding himself on the Hylian's organ, bracing himself by splaying his hands over Link's chest. Link moaned softly as Pit slid himself as fast as his legs would allow, even bringing his wings into play to help him. Link tenderly cupped the angel's bottom, helping him to bring them to climax as soon as possible.

Pit's cries escalated as Link began to strike that special spot inside of him, their thrusts getting faster and faster. Link stared up in awe at the delicate angel, wings flapping, mindless pleasure on his face as he moaned without hindrance.

Fuck, was Palutena, and the old lady next door, going to kill him.

The thought of being bombarded by death threats left his mind as Pit slammed down harder on his shaft, fingers playing with the nipples that were exposed through his open shirt. Their eyes made contact as they began to cry out louder and louder, Links hands squeezing the plush flesh it held on to.

Pit gasped desperately, leaning into the Hylian's hands as his hands balled into fists. "Oh...Oh Link...please, I'm going to..."

With a loud squeal, Pit reached his release. His white seed fired in time with his inner walls clenching, causing Link to thrust erratically before releasing his fluids inside the angel.

Both panted heavily as they sat on the bed, Pit resting happily in Link's arms.

"You look exhausted," Link sighed as he carried the angel to the en suite bathroom and into the shower. "Save some energy for our little double date, otherwise Marth and Ike'll get suspicious."

Pit playfully swatted at the Hylian, turning round to turn the water on.

"Well, at least you're not facing Ganondorf on your own. That's such a relief-"

"Actually, I am." Link cut in, discarding the rest of his semen-stained clothes before standing under the shower with the angel. "Ike, Marth, Zellie and you are going to have to evacuate the surrounding area and take out any minions that get in your way. I'd hate for Endinton's residents to be caught up in the imminent destruction."

"Forget the town." Pit exclaimed with a disconcerted expression, hastily lathering his body. "I can't let you face that monster alone. He wiped out almost my entire army. My friends. And he almost got Her Greatness. I'm not going to let the one I love more then anything in this world try to take him down on his own!"

Link sighed and cradled the angel to his chest, one arm wrapping tightly around his torso, the other stroking from his hair to his wings, the feathered appendage spreading at his touch.

"It's part of my 'Hero of Time' duty, Pit. I can't help it." He lovingly kissed the angel's forehead, smiling to himself. "And I love you too."

"I don't want to lose you like I have everyone else...Please Link. Please."

"I'm sorry Pit." Link ceased his stroking to tilt the angel's face toward his own. "I'm Link. It's a blessing and a curse."


So, it's my first full lemon and LinkxPit story! (I don't know if that's a good thing.)

Oh, and I'm obsessed with the whole 'Being named Link is a blessing and a curse' type thing. My geekiness is beyond me. :P

Constructive criticism is so appreciated, even Ike can't Aether it. For real.

I LOVE YOOOU *love mclove*