That morning Tilly slept in much later than she had meant to. Normally she was so much better at getting herself up and ready for the day, especially when she had things planned, like, say, for example, a game of chess with the Detective Rogers before his shift started. Because of his busy schedule, they had to plan their weekly games around the detective's free time, and since these games had become somewhat of a life force for Tilly to get through the week, she didn't want to miss a one of them.
So with that in mind, when Tilly realised she had slept in, she acted before her eyes had even fully managed to open. Jumping up from her bed and dressing at the same time as she stuffed her breakfast into her mouth, Tilly grabbed her bag from the corner table and made a break for it, leaving the little crate she called home behind and running the entire way to the station. It wasn't a hug run from her home, but it was far enough and by the time she reached the boring building, she was hot, sweating and slightly out of breath. Meanwhile, Detective Rogers looked as cool as a cucumber, leaning against the side of the building and waiting patiently until he saw her come bounding into sight.
"You alright?" Rogers said, looking surprised as Tilly came to a slow stop in front of him, breathing hard and leaning against a lamp post opposite him.
"Yeah." Tilly gasped. "Slept in."
"You didn't need to rush," Rogers said gently.
"I know I just… I like our games. And… I know how busy you can get." Tilly said, suddenly feeling foolish for hurrying the way she had.
Rogers surprised her with a soft smile, a kind one with warm eyes that gave Tilly the irresistible urge to return it with a smile of her own. "Then shall we begin?" He asked.
A few moments later they had found a seat outside one of the coffee shops, the chess board and pieces set up on the table between them and a game in the works. Tilly was always the black and Rogers was always the white. It was almost instinctive, and they never talked about it or planned it beforehand, nor did they ever question it later, either.
Halfway through the game, Tilly began rubbing her arms and around her face every few seconds. She didn't think twice about what she was doing (she wasn't hot or uncomfortable in any way) until she looked up at one point and caught Rogers watching her closely with a slight frown on his forehead. She self-consciously glanced down at her side of the board but she didn't think she'd made any obnoxious moves that would cause him to look at her funny. So why was he staring at her like that?
"You alright?" Rogers asked finally. "You seem a bit twitchy."
"I am?" Tilly blinked, unconsciously reaching over to rub the back of her hand. She didn't feel twitchy or anything. In fact, she didn't even realise what she was doing until Rogers pointed looked at her hand. "Oh…"
"Have you had your pills today?" Rogers asked.
"Oh, uh, not yet." Tilly confessed. "I was in a rush to get out the house."
"Here." Without further prompting, Rogers reached into his bag and pulled out a plastic bottle of water, holding it out to her. "Take them now."
"Sure, okay," Tilly nodded, accepting the water bottle with a small smile.
She always expected to be annoyed by the way Rogers (and even Weaver) babied her. They were always checking that she had taken her pills and had a proper meal and so on, yet she found she didn't mind the attention at all. It was the kind of attention she'd craved for growing up back in the home. With no parents and no real family, it was nice having someone care for her like she actually mattered to them in some way and they wanted to make sure she stayed healthy and well.
Setting the bottle on the table beside her empty coffee cup Rogers had brought her when they originally sat down, Tilly reached into her bag and began digging through the mess in her way. Like every day, Tilly tossed her pulls into her bag without much care as to where they landed. So long as they were in their container, she never had to be careful with them, so it always took her a few minutes of rummaging through the bottom of the backpack before she found them, often having to shuffle most of her things from her first each time.
However this time, Tilly found that the longer she looked the more frustrated she became when they didn't make an appearance. Her bag was a mess, sure, and there were plenty of things for the pills to be hiding behind of but she was normally good at finding things despite the constant clutter. She really should take some of it out, considering she didn't need to lug it all around all the time every freaking day. But that was a thought for another day. For now, she just needed to find where he damn pills were.
"You okay there?" Rogers said, watching her empty her bag onto her lap and the table.
"I… I can't find them." Tilly mumbled. "I must've left them at home…"
Rogers paused and checked his watch. "I need to get to work soon, but I can be a bit late if you want a lift to pick them up."
"No that's fine." Tilly said, putting her things back in her bag. She didn't want to hold him up, after all.
When she tried to give him back his water he held up his hand. "Keep it. I'll see you this time next week?"
"Sure," Tilly said, smiling and trying not to blurt out that she wished they could meet up more than just once every Friday.
Always the gentleman, Rogers waited and watched Tilly depart their game first before he head back into the station. After she packed up the chess board and stored it away, she offered him one last smile goodbye before heading back the way she came towards her home, this time at a much more gentle pace. She wasn't in a real hurry. She knew how long she had before she would really need to take her pills.
Tilly had plenty of time.
O*U*A*T
Okay, where the hell were they?!
Tilly had left them right here, hadn't she?
So why weren't they here?!
Tilly began to tear apart her home, her anxiousness growing into panic the longer it took her to find them. She tore everything from her draws and out from under her bed, throwing it around and emptying every single corner and pocket that she could get her hands on, but despite every inch of wall she checked, they weren't anywhere. She couldn't see or feel them despite her best efforts or how long she spent researching the same places two times over.
After a long search that lasted an unknown stretch of however many hours, Tilly gave up and collapsed onto her stripped bed, staring at the wall opposite her in shock. This couldn't be happening. Not again. Although, admittedly, last time it happened, she had chosen to come off her pills willingly after getting a feeling like she should, but it didn't matter how it started. Tilly knew how it was going to end. With someone getting hurt. Because of her.
No, Tilly couldn't let that happen again. She'd made a promise to Detective Weaver and Detective Rogers that she wouldn't come off her pills ever again. There was nothing else to it. She was going to have to find them, wherever they were.
Tilly climbed back onto her feet and grabbed her bag once more, throwing everything back inside it and stepping out of her home, trying to keep from shaking too much as she closed the door behind her. After a deep breath to keep her nerves somewhat steady, she forced herself to think back to when she last took her pills. They were a daily dosage so she must have had them yesterday at some point…
That was it! The park! She had them yesterday. Tilly remembered, specifically because she had been taking one of her pills when a random woman had come up and asked if she had any aspirin spare. After Tilly explained that what she was taking was personal medicine, the woman had nodded, apologised and left her alone. It was a quick and boring encounter but luckily it stuck in her mind. At least now she knew where to start.
Without wasting any more time thinking it over, Tilly started for the park. She didn't run, though she desperately wanted to, and instead forced herself to stay calm and walk the whole way at nothing more than a brisk pace. If she ran, then she might start panicking again and she was doing her best to keep that from happening. And she more than likely didn't even need to get herself worked up anyway. She would probably find them on the bench where she left them, having fallen from her bag and waiting for her to pick them up again. Then she could take her pills and just go about her day like she had planned. Though from now on, she would be sure to always double check they were where she left them before she went anywhere else. She could not risk losing her pills like this ever again.
It helped that she wasn't too far away from the park to begin with. And it was still early in the morning so she didn't have to deal with a crowd of people in her way. The less people around her right now, the better.
When she made it to the park, she felt herself growing anxious despite all her best efforts to stay calm. There was a biting sensation in the back of her mind and unclear images began to push their way in the very back of her thoughts. This was how it started last time, like a fog was lifting and words were breaking through into her subconscious. When it had first happened, Tilly had been strangely excited by the new and odd feelings she felt, eager to see what was coming to her mind and understand what was happening to her. Now, all she could see was Weaver's body lying on the floor, surrounded by blood after she had shot him with his own gun.
Tilly shook the thought from her mind and rushed towards the park, finally breaking out into a sprint like she could run away from the memory itself. Even after all this time, even after Weaver was back on his feet again, Tilly still felt sick with guilt over what she had done to him. Weaver had tried to tell her that it was okay, that he was fine so it was no big deal now but she couldn't let it go at easily as him. For Heaven's sake! She could have killed him!
THUMP!
Someone smacked into her. Or rather, Tilly smacked into them. She was so lost in her thoughts and running from her own mind that she hadn't realised what was happening until it was too late to stop. The person appeared in front of her, seemingly out of nowhere, and their shoulders knocked against each other hard, throwing Tilly off balance and causing her to flail slightly to the side.
"Hey! Watch it!"
Tilly stumbled, hurrying to regain her balance and turning to the person she ran into. "Sorry." She said immediately. "I… I wasn't… I… Sorry."
The person she ran into was a young woman who's anger quickly faded when she saw the flustered look on Alice's face. She hesitated, then finally nodded her head. "It's fine. I didn't mean to snap. I'm just… Stressed out." She raised an eyebrow behind her glasses. "You look pretty stressed yourself, if you don't mind me saying."
"Yeah I… I…" Tilly began.
The girl paused and frowned at her, squinting her eyes slightly. "Didn't I see you here the other day?"
That caught Tilly's attention. Some of the confusion in her mind cleared from the curiosity and she looked up at the girl again. Finally, she realised, this was the girl who had asked her for an aspirin the other day. The reason she remembered she had her pills here in the first place.
"You." Tilly whispered, suddenly feeling a tightness in her chest though she had no idea why.
"Yeah… Me…" The girl's frown returned to one of confusion. "Look, um. Are you alright? You're shaking pretty hard."
Sure enough, Tilly glanced down and saw her hands were shivering. She wrapped her fingers around each other, trying to hold them still with sheer force, but was unable to do anything about the feeling of her throat tightening, that feeling like she was about to burst into tears. And to make it all even worse, her chest was becoming more and more uncomfortable and she had no idea why. It was probably the panic still lingering, getting worse as she felt the fog in her mind lifting. Finally she shook her head, moving to lean against the back of the bench, reaching up to rub her face hard, trying to physically push the fog back into place to protect her. "No." She mumbled. "No, I'm not."
"Well, what's the matter?" The girl asked her.
"I lost my pills." Tilly confessed. "The ones I was taking the other day… I don't know where and I'm kind of freaking out about it." She had no idea why she was telling this stranger this. Normally she didn't tell anyone about her medication if she could help it. They always looked at her funny whenever she did. Maybe it had something to do with the fog that was clearing her mind, muddling thoughts and voices and confusing her.
"Oh," The girl hesitated, then reached out and put a gentle hand on her arm. "Well, um, do you need any help?" She sounded as awkward as Tilly felt.
But despite the awkwardness, something about her touch helped calm her. Tilly took a breath, shaking her head and getting rid of the last remaining urges to cry. "I'm fine. I just… I need to find them." She hesitated, glancing around. "Where abouts did you see me yesterday?"
"Here, I'll show you." The girl said, moving away from her and walking towards one of the benches just three seats over from where they had been standing.
Tilly was surprised by how helpful the girl was being, and stalled for just a moment before she rushed to follow her. As they walked, she found herself watching the girl closely. There was something about her. It wasn't just that she trusted her enough to tell her the truth back then; she felt an urge to do more. To just… Talk with her.
Before Tilly could say anything else, the girl seemed to share her urge and glanced back at her. "If you don't mind me asking. Are you maybe a little drunk?"
Tilly blinked, but rather than be offended, she found herself laughing. "No. Nothing like that. I'm just…" Tilly hesitated, unsure how to describe it.
"It's fine if you don't want to explain." The girl said, coming to a stop. "Here's where I spoke to you… You really need your pills, huh?"
Tilly paused, staring at her. "I'm not crazy or anything." She said quickly.
The girl held up her hands. "Didn't say you were." She watched as Tilly began looking for her pills along the bench and the floor. "I've known a couple of people who need medication before. It's no big deal. What do they look like?"
Tilly shook her head, standing and brushing herself down. "No use. They're not here." She moaned, reaching up and running her fingers through her hair. "Damn it, I can't lose them. I really can't."
"Hey, it's fine. Look. I have some spare time on my hands, so why don't I help you look for them? We can retrace your steps since you took them yesterday." The girl offered.
"Really?" Tilly blinked, looking up at her.
"Yeah," The girl shrugged casually, then leaned forward with a cheeky smile. "To be honest, I'm actually meant to be meeting someone but I'd really like to put it off for as long as possible."
"Well, I know that feeling." Tilly said with a grin. She let the moment between them linger for a second, before stretching out a hand. "My name's Tilly."
The girl smiled back, taking her hand and shaking. "Margot."
O*U*A*T
"So what do you need your pills for?" Margot asked.
They had paused for a moment to allow Tilly to rethink her day and remember what she did after she had visited the park. Neither said what they were both probably thinking. That there was a good chance she had lost her pills here in the park, and someone had simply snatched them for their personal use. If that happened, then Tilly wasn't sure what she could do. She could try and get a replacement but she didn't want anyone asking questions. If anyone thought for a moment that she couldn't handle her own medication, they might decide to do something drastic.
"Um, I have… Problems." Tilly mumbled, blushing slightly. "I just… Lose touch. With reality."
"Oh, that must be hard." Margot nodded in a way like she understood.
"I manage," Tilly shrugged, smiling at her. "I just… I do some dangerous stuff. I mean, I did something bad the last time I was off them and…" She took a breath, calming the quiver in her voice. "I can't let that happen again."
"I'm sure we'll find them." Margot said with a kind smile.
"Thanks… For helping I mean." Tilly said.
"No problem." Margot nodded. "Like I said, you're kind of saving me from doing something I've been avoiding."
It was so strange. Walking by her side, talking to her like this. Tilly couldn't explain it but it was like they already knew each other. She didn't just trust this girl enough to confess the truth about her pills – something she avoided for other people – but she also found her mood greatly improved just because she was walking by her side. This Margot girl was… interesting, let's say.
The next place Tilly remembered going after taking her pills in the park, was down to the local supermarket to pick up some supplies for home. It was probably the same distance from the park to the shops as it was from Tilly's home to the park and since they had no other choices but to walk it, they had plenty of time to talk between them and fill the long silence. Tilly found herself strangely looking forward to it. There was something about this Margot girl and she was eager to know who she really was. And it also helped distract her from the cold clammy feeling of being off her pills.
That was the other reason why Tilly was enjoying being around Margot so much. Around Margot, the confusion in her mind settled back quite a bit. There was still a whisper of voices in the back of her mind but it wasn't so loud when Margot was talking, especially when she stood so close to her. And she really did have a nice voice. Nice… And familiar.
"So who are you trying to avoid?" Tilly asked after a moment when the whispers starting getting louder again.
"Oh, my mother." Margot pulled a face. "We used to live here but then mum moved us out some years back and then I moved away from her and, well, we haven't spoken in a while."
The familiarity faded. Something about what she said wasn't right…
Not right.
Tilly stalled. That voice was her voice, but it wasn't the same as her thoughts. It was like something else, the whispers only much louder and much more clear. She felt her mouth going incredibly dry.
"Everything okay?" Margot asked, looking back at where she had fallen behind.
"Yeah. Let's hurry."
Instinctively, she reached down and took Margot's hand, breaking into a light jog and hurrying the rest of the way towards the shops. Margot was a little taken by surprise but she also brushed it off immediately, hurrying to keep up with her. Whatever pills she needed to take, they were clearly important and Margot wasn't lying when she said she knew people who had their own medication to take. It was probably frightening when you lost something that important to you.
Once they made it to the shop, Tilly released Margot's hand and stepped away from her. She wanted to keep a composed look about her, but broke it almost immediately as she began running up and down the aisles, looking for her pills. While Tilly did little to keep composed, the other girl went to ask a nearby cashier if she had found any medication since yesterday. It was kind of her to try to help, but all her personal information was on the label of the pills bottle, so if anyone had found them, she was sure she would have been in contact with them by now. Her best bet was to scour each of the aisles herself; looking under all the counters and between every gap in case she dropped them at one point. However after a long and hard search, it was clear that she hadn't lost them here.
You've lost it somewhere.
Somehow Tilly knew the voice wasn't talking about her pills.
"What have I lost?" Tilly mumbled, trying to keep her voice down so no one could hear her talking to herself.
You've lost yourself.
"I've not lost myself. I've lost my pills." Tilly growled, blushing when she caught sight of a woman eyeing her as she wandered past with her toddler.
"Any luck?" Margot asked, walking over with her hands tucked into her coat pocket.
"No…" Tilly said, biting her lips and ignoring the voices in her head. Why wouldn't they shut up so she could concentrate?
"Don't worry, we'll find them." Margot smiled. "Where did you go after you came here?"
"Um… Back to the troll bridge…" Tilly nodded.
"Then let's go." Margot nodded, this time she was the one to reach out and take her hand.
Tilly smiled at her, gratefully, and accepted her hand, walking by her side before she began to lead the way slightly back in the direction they had already come from. It was closer to the troll bridge than the park, and yet it felt twice as long with voices speaking in stage whispers in her head. She couldn't hear all of them, but the ones she did hear left her feeling sick and nervous. She found herself clinging to Margot's hand tightly and, sweetly, Margot gave gentle squeezes back, as if to assure her she was still there. It was so comforting… So familiar…
You came…
"You came…" Tilly mumbled.
"What?" Margot asked.
Tilly hesitated, then looked back at her. But instead of making something else up, she just repeated herself. "You came."
"I came where?" Margot frowned.
"… With me." Tilly said. That wasn't what she meant, or at least, it wasn't what she thought she meant, but it was all she could think of to say without sounding mad.
"Of course I came with you." Margot said. "I told you I would." She gave a small smile, then began to walk again. "Now let's find your meds."
There was something about the way Margot said 'Of course I came,' almost like her voice echoed but only for those first four words exactly. She let herself be pulled along for a moment before rushing to walk beside her again. She had to stop giving these strange thoughts so much attention. She needed to focus on getting her pills and quieten the craziness before it made her do something bad again.
You've gone mad. That sounded like Rumplestiltskin's voice, right before she…
"I'm not mad." Tilly hissed.
"Of course you're not." Margot nodded, not realising that Tilly was talking to herself.
She didn't bother correcting her.
Maybe our lives will be better.
What did that even mean?
I will lose her…
Who?
Robin.
Who's Robin?
She is.
Tilly groaned, rubbing her head. The thoughts were giving her a headache. It was like she was in an argument with herself but the other self she was arguing with was a smug little shit who didn't feel the need to elaborate. Why couldn't they just say what they meant? Was the fog of her pills stopping them? Maybe she should come off them for a bit longer, at least until the thoughts made sense and she understood what her other self was trying to say…
NO! She couldn't do that. She couldn't risk it for even a moment. If she let the thoughts take over, they might make her do something to Margot or someone else. She couldn't let that happen. Not again. Tilly would not let the voices catch up with her, she wouldn't hurt anyone. She was going to find her pills and make things right.
"Tilly?"
Alice.
Tilly looked up to see Margot facing her again, except she didn't look like Margot any more. Well, she did, but her glasses were gone and her hair was pulled back and she had a quiver of arrows resting over her back, sticking above her shoulder. She was dressed in a different outfit as well, and the expression on her face was so soft and loving that it was almost heartbreaking enough for Tilly to reach out and touch her cheek.
It only lasted for a second, then that other girl was gone and Margot was back, her hair down, glasses on, a plain coat over the top of normal every day clothing. The only thing on her back was a backpack that was mostly hidden when she turned completely to face her. And the expression on her face wasn't one of love, but one of concern and mild distrust, yet she was still there, holding her hand and waiting for her to respond.
"I'm okay." Tilly mumbled, swallowing and nodding her head. "Turn right up ahead." She said, continuing to walk by her side.
"You still with me?" Margot asked softly.
More than you know.
"Yeah," Tilly nodded.
"And I take it that's the troll bridge." Margot noted.
The massive statue was pretty hard to miss, even if you'd never seen it before.
"Yes!" Tilly gasped, releasing Margot's hand and rushing ahead.
Don't do this. You don't want to do this.
I don't want to hurt anyone, Tilly thought back.
The troll statue was where Tilly spent most of her time. She was surprised that she hadn't thought to check this place before. Not only did she spend most time there, but she often did so lounged around and if she was going to lose something anywhere, it would surely be here.
Margot patiently followed behind her, watching as she began to search the area. After a moment of unconscious spying, she began to help, copying Tilly by ducking on the other side and checking the floor and all the gaps and cracks lining the edges and shapes of the statue. It was a pretty big statue, although the girls worked quickly, but Tilly found herself distracted by the voices enough that she wasn't completely paying attention, like reading a line in a book but not taking in a word that was said. They weren't just voices now. They were images, too. Thoughts that didn't fit in this world but that fit in the other world. Yet, she didn't know what the other world even was.
If you take those pills, the world will fog. You'll never remember the truth.
What truth?
Robin?
Who the hell is Robin?!
You came…
Who came?
Of course I came.
Wait… Was… Was Margot, Robin?
Tilly paused in her search to look back up at Margot. She was currently wandering towards the side of the street, checking that it hadn't rolled into the road at any point. Except, she didn't see Margot. She saw a pretty girl in a old fashion hunting outfit, right down to the bow she held in her hand and the long braid that was hanging over her shoulder.
A burst of emotion rushed through Tilly and she felt herself drawn to Margot. The girl was pretty, but it was more than that. It wasn't just her looks. There was something else to her that Tilly just… Felt a connection with. And apparently it had something to do with the thoughts in her mind, arguing with her about whether or not she should take her pills again. It was the kind of odd connection she felt when she saw Weaver. The connection where she knew she had to do something to help him see, except it wasn't nearly as strong as how she was feeling now. Because what she felt now was burning, hot and intense, and her breath was coming in sharp gasps the more she thought about it.
Tilly turned away, shutting her eyes and shaking her head. When she opened them, she found herself staring down at herself. This wasn't right. This outfit… It wasn't hers. Not really. None of this was right.
"Calm down," Tilly whispered to herself. "Just put the pieces into place. Finish the puzzle. Finish the puzzle and sort the pieces."
My name's Alice!
Was that her voice? She saw a man, Weaver, staring at her. Except he wasn't dressed like Weaver.
Well. I'm here now.
She saw Detective Rogers, but he looked a mixture of happy and unsure and his hand… His hand was missing and there was a something else in its place.
You came…
And there was Margot again, in the weird green hunting outside. They were standing somewhere dark but the fog still clouded the detail. She couldn't see anything past Margot's stunning, smiling face and teary eyes.
"I found them!"
Tilly's eyes snapped open. She stood up straight and turned sharply to see Margot hurrying back over. In her hand she clutched a set of familiar looking pills with a label that read Tilly's name across the front along with a phone number and fake address. The smile on her face was almost like back in the confusing memory and Tilly squinted at her when she drew close like she might see something else that matched.
"Tilly… Here, take your pills." Margot said gently, placing the pills in her hand and closing her fingers around them for her. "Go on."
She spoke so softly, still smiling at her. She didn't judge the fact that Tilly was going mad.
"I'm not mad." Tilly croaked.
"Of course you're not." Margot said confidently. There it was again. The way she said 'of course' had a slight echo like two different people saying it but with the same voice. "But you need your pills. They'll make everything better."
She's wrong! Trust her, but she's wrong!
What did that even mean? How could you trust someone who was wrong? It made no sense.
"Tilly?" Margot said, gently placing a hand on her arm, the other still resting over her hand that was holding the pills.
Please don't call me that.
"Tilly. You need to take your pills." Margot said softly. "It'll be better once you do. The pain will go away."
"There's no pain…" Tilly said quietly. "Things are becoming… Clear… I see things. How they should be."
"It's not real, Tilly." Margot nodded.
Don't listen!
Tilly frowned, squinting at her before shaking her head. She didn't want to listen. She didn't want take the pills, not when things were finally beginning to clear up in her mind. They were finally beginning to make sense and she could see the world for what it was, she could see the people for who they truly were and not the masks that they all unwillingly wore. If she just held off taking her pills, then she might understand. She could understand everything. But, more importantly, she could understand why she felt a strong pull towards Margot and why she kept seeing her face and hearing her voice like there was an echo to her words. She just needed to put the pills in her pocket, just for a little longer. She didn't want to listen…
But she didn't want to hurt anyone either. She hadn't listened to Weaver, and even when he gave her the pills by way of trickery, she had still managed to hurt him. Not just that. She had nearly killed him. The madness had caused her to act in a way she never would have on her medicine and she hurt someone in a way she wouldn't have thought possible at any other time. It was frightening for her pills to kick in completely and to see what she had done to someone she cared about. And she cared about Margot too. For whatever reason that she couldn't explain, she would never forgive herself if she hurt her because she had been too stubborn to take what she needed to stay as Tilly.
Tilly had messed around with her pills enough. She knew better now. She wouldn't make the same mistake twice, no matter how much it physically hurt her to do so.
Opening the lid, Tilly took out two pills before pocketing the rest. With Margot watching her closely, she pulled out Rogers's water bottle and threw the pills down the back of her throat, taking a mouthful of water and swallowing them in one gulp.
"There. That's better, isn't it?" Margot smiled, still holding a hand on her arm.
"Yeah," Tilly lied. She didn't feel better. In fact she felt like she had made a terrible mistake. But she forced herself to smile at Margot, the other woman looking at her wish such kind gentle eyes. The features on her face still so familiar and beautiful…
Just had to see your face. One last time.
See my face?
We'll always love each other. Even if we don't.
Love who?
Love me?
Love her?
"Hey, you're okay." Margot said softly, and she realised she was getting hysterical, her breathing coming in panicked gasps of breath.
"Yeah." Tilly said, forcing herself to shake the thoughts away. "You're right. Sorry… I… I wasn't myself for a moment."
"Well… You're you now." Margot said cheerfully, finally letting go of her arm.
"Yeah… I guess I am…"
Margot stayed with Tilly, at the troll bridge, until the pills had completely settled in and cleared her mind. As usual it felt like a fog was clouding over the second thoughts in her head, and it was frightening at first, but after it had settled, she felt better. Much better. The world was no longer upside down. The thoughts that were confusing her had stopped and she was no longer seeing two version of Margot with an echo in her voice that made her feel like she was in two places at once, hearing the same thing in both of them but with different subtext in each.
"What are you going to do now?" Margot asked. They were sat side by side on the statue, legs swinging as they waited for Tilly to become herself again.
"Not sure. Guess I'll do what I usually do and go meet some people for some business." Tilly shrugged, she still felt weird but, well, life moves on. The sooner she got back to her usual routine, the sooner she might start to feel normal again. "What about you?"
Margot sighed dramatically. "Suppose I'd better go see mum." She groaned loudly at the thought.
"Yeah…" Tilly oddly was reluctant to leave, but she knew she had to. "Well… It was nice meeting you." Tilly said finally, turning and smiling at her. "Even if it wasn't the best first impression I've ever made."
"Well, you made an impression." Margot grinned, jumping down onto her feet. "I won't be forgetting you any time soon."
She turned and started to head off back towards the direction of the park. Tilly bit her lip before calling out after her; "Hey! If you've got any free time after meeting up with your mum… Maybe I could show you around the Heights? I'll bet a lot's changed since you were last living here."
Without hesitating, Margot turned back, still grinning. "I'd like that." She paused and Tilly had another itch like there was still something familiar about her, though that was probably just the after effects of being off her pills, short as the time was. "Meet me here tomorrow morning? Ten o'clock?"
Tilly beamed after her. "It's a date."
