This story was born form random text that my friend Rob and I were sending to each other, speaking of things Light would tell Johan and Johan would tell Light, so I want to give him a very special thanks!
I also want to apologize in advance because I mostly write yaoi and it might show in my sentences, but for this story I really am set in making it non-yaoi. However, there will be lots of bromance. Well let's get to it.
Timeline: Set in 2008 right after the capture of the Fake Kira. Johan had escaped the hospital in 1998, an no one had seen him since then, until now.
"You can go outside you know," he had told me, crouched in his seat, eyes fixed on the laptop in front of him. It's been three days since we caught the "Fake Kira," three days since my lost memories have returned.
I shifted my weight to the other foot, and crossed my arms. That should have been enough. I was giving that "I'm insulted" look, without stepping over the "this is L, and his words are absolute" line."Do I bother you or something?" I stated, then switched my tactics, lowering my arms and playing with all the innocence in my voice, with all the cluelessness in my gestures, "Is something the matter? This is the third time you bring this up."
The room was colder than usual, or maybe it just felt that way. "Nothing Light, nothing is the matter." He didn't turn when he spoke, didn't lift his eyes off of his work. "I just assumed that you would have wanted to be free," He spoke taking a deep breathe and letting it out all at once, sounding like a school teacher tired of repeating the same lesson over and over. He's dropping the friend act. The everyday routine, the newly caught Kira, the new pieces of the puzzle he is setting together, the calmness of my voice, everything must be getting to him."Don't mind me, I'm just a mess and you know it."
He knows he can't win. He knows that he lost.
He looked pathetic, half-dead/half-dazed, full dark circles under his eyes, and something else. Yes, I felt it, and I would have given so much to be able to ask him the question that itched in my tongue, that sent shivers of victory through my whole body: Are you afraid? Because I knew what the answer was, but it would be so much sweeter to hear him say it.
I threw all of that to the back of my brain though, they'll be time for that later. I kept the facade up, taking a step in his direction speaking softly. "You look tired. You should rest."
He closed his laptop then, more like slammed it shut, and rose to his feet, "You might be right, there's nothing left here anyways."
His words made me wince, something about them was so sour, so foul, though I'm sure he didn't notice. He was looking at the floor, toes curling, hands in the pocket of his jeans. "I'll see you around then," he murmured, taking slow, solid steps towards the door. "Apparently, unlike some people, I do enjoy the sun every once in a while."
"Going out?" I used my concerned voice this time, following his body with wide eyes as he passed by me.
"Ummm... I don't know, maybe."
"I think I might take your advice too," I added, following after him. "After all, we deserve a break, don't you think?"
He paused at the door, still not turning to see me, almost like avoidance, like he didn't want to look at me, "Light, some people deserve nothing."
And that's how I ended up sitting in this grayish bench, in this park full of loud children and chipping birds. It's not like I planned coming here, It just happened. The sun is still up. It's not uncomfortably hot, but I opt for taking off my jacket and loosening the dark blue tie.
I breathe in the air of the world, relaxing against the bench, stretching my neck and arms up to the sky before closing my eyes to rest them. L is on the verge of falling, I can't wait to make him jump. Just a little more, I want to see him in this new found darkness just a little longer.
I can't believe I've done it so neatly, so perfect, without a careless flaw. Soon it will all be over, L will be dead and I will be that much closer to becoming the God of-
"Fascinating, isn't it?" A soft voice cuts through my thoughts, sheering me from the pleasure I had finally allowed myself to lavish on. I turn in the direction of the sender, partly annoyed, propping my self up on the bench, and find a man, by the looks of it, a bit older than me. He's dressed in black trousers and a black long sleeve shirt that contrasts his white skin. Not pale like L, not tired like everyone in the task force, just right, the way someone should look. He's headed in my direction through the side walk, each second bringing him closer, but not in a hurry. The way he walks catches attention, defined, as if every step he's taking is a mission. I involuntarily raise an eyebrow, and quickly lower it again when I catch myself, hoping no one noticed. He is blond, strands of gold in the wind. He must be a foreigner. "It's such a beautiful day outside."
I remain silent, not sure if he is talking to me or rambling on to someone else, himself, who knows, but then he stands directly in front of me and turns his eyes in my direction. They're a dark color of blue, definitely a foreigner. "Don't you think?"
There's something about his voice, is he faking it? It doesn't sound like the voice of a human. No human being can sound like that.
I realize I still haven't answered his question, and that in fact, it was directed at me. "It is nice," I answer smiling, the way I would answer to anyone else. Smiling has become part of a routine, like getting dressed every morning, like swallowing after chewing.
There's something about this man though, something that I can't quite put my finger on, but I can feel it.
He smiles back, sliping his hands in the pockets of his trousers, and my brain is immediately reminded of L... L... L... Lately, all I do is think of L nonstop. Of ways to kill him, to make him pay for everything he's done, for thinking he could stand against me.
After a silent pause he continues, "I will definitely not regret coming out this day." He nods in my direction, kind of a small bow. My eyebrows frown unintentionally.
"Do I know you?" I ask, hints of bewilderment in my voice, but still keeping a polite tone.
That smile is on his face once again as he answers, "No. I'm just passing by here."
He walks away in the same manner he walked here, slow, careful, with tactic, and I make a mental note to stop talking to decent-looking-strangers in the park, because apparently my body doesn't like them. They give it goosebumps.
The next day, I spend all day with the task force. L is still in his dark mood, research is still being done, Ryuk is back with Misa, and if I have to explain to him one more time why he can't follow me around, I swear I'll cut down his apple supply. On my way home I pass by the same park again, I don't know why, I just wanted to come. Not like I'm looking for him or something, not like he perked my interest. Perhaps its just that he's a random variable that came out of nowhere. Perhaps it's just that I'm tired of being in the same place, with the same people everyday, and seeing something so different has caught me by surprise.
I wait, but he never shows up.
The next day, the same thing.
And the day after that.
On the fourth day, I take what has already become a routine walk and sit in the same bench once again. Maybe he won't ever pass by, maybe I won't ever bump into him again, and maybe I should stop waisting my time sitting in this random park.
On a good note, I've come up with a plan to get rid of L once and for all. No matter what, he has to be killed, and it has to be soon. If I tell Misa to start writing names again, L will be put in a position where he'll have to do something drastic, and there's no way Rem will let him do anything to harm Misa. She'll be forced to kill L, extending Misa's life purposefully, and will die in the process. It's to perfect! Getting rid of both of them at the same time! And once they are gone, they'll be no one to stand in my way. It's only a matter of time. I have to decide when it's best to do it. I have to be careful, I can't make any mistakes now that I am this far-
Gold catches my sight, and I turn my eyes to the right. He's walking this time too, black trousers and a white shirt, but he's being followed.
Four children, boys and girls, and two older women are with him, I'm assuming the children's mothers or caregivers. He bends down to offer something to one of the kids. The child smiles opening his hand, and seconds later a bird drops into it.
They're feeding the birds? Really? Just how cliche can this get? I internally roll my eyes, but keep looking. He's smiling just like that day, throwing small dust up into the sky, for the birds that are now surrounding them to pick up mid flight. The two mothers sit at the nearest bench while the children surround him, asking for more bird food, laughing as they mimic him and the birds catch their food flying swiftly.
He looks at me, and I look away, suddenly feeling like I'm doing something wrong. And is it wrong? Could this be stalking? No. There's no way he could know I'm here just to see him! When I turn back he is walking towards me, and I curse myself for looking away because it made me look like a creep.
The way he walks, everything about him, he can't be real. His posture is just to perfect.
"Would you like to join us?" That soft voice again, offering a hand.
"Feeding the birds?" I reply, with a welcoming voice, never forgetting to smile. Smile, smile, always smile. No matter what the situation, smile, and you can fool even the devil.
"I noticed you've been watching us for a while. Come, it will be fun."
For a while? So he's noticed me since the start? That's embarrassing.
His dark blue eyes are digging straight into mine. Dark. Firm. Straight. Powerful. Even the way he extended his hand was with elegance. Looking at him is like looking at a whole other species, I've never seen anything like it. Up close I can tell that he is a bit older than what I originally thought, and I get that same feeling I got the first time I meet him. There's something about him, something crawling in the air that surrounds him.
My smile widens, can't lose anything with trying, "alright then. I'll go."
He helps me stand and I following after him.
The children are glad he's back, meeting us half way, wrapping their arms around his legs and waist. He encourages me to introduce myself, and so I do.
"My name is Light Yagami, nice to meet all of you." The children giggle, and one by one they all resite their name. Simple isn't it? Their little voices sound so funny in my brain. So careless, so trusting, each of them willingly giving me the tool to kill them if I want. I think of L, picture meeting him and introducing ourselves, of him giving me his life with a title. It would have all been too simple and boring that way.
When everyone is done, I turn to the foreigner. A clock inside of me had been internally ticking. Though I hadn't even noticed, I've been waiting to hear his name for a long time.
"As for me, my name is Johan... Johan Liebert."
Johan...
"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Liebert."
"Please, call me Johan."
"Alright then." We shake hands, a little late, but that's ok, "Johan."
"The pleasure is all mine," He replies. "Now here," he hands me a portion of bird food. "And don't get dirty."
Don't get dirty? But before I can question why he emphasized such a simple task, he resumes throwing bits of food up to the sky, and the birds are back, flying steadily around us. Some trust him enough to land in his hand, and feed off of it.
I decide to utilize my food too, opening my hand, and not even a minute later one of the birds is attacking it. The tip of his beak pokes against my skin, and even though I wince, I laugh instead of showing discomfort, because after all, that's just the way I am.
"The act of their little beaks poking into us is strange, isn't it?" I look in his direction, the bird in my hand still eating away. "It hurts, but not enough to make you want to scare the little bird away... because the sight of it is so pretty, you don't want it to end." The bird in his hand flies up, and he stares at it with grief as it makes it's way back into the deep park and away from us. His eyes are sparkling when he turns to me, face tinted with a bit of sorrow, like he's gotten sad for some reason, "much like this world, don't you think?" I pay close attention, "If you look at some parts, it's disgusting, but there are still beautiful things in it. Beautiful things worth fighting for to be able to preserve: the innocence of a child, the right for an animal to have a meal, the idea of equality for all. The premise is set, we just have to be brave enough to make it happen, to not allow this world to get even more rotten."
I stare at him with wide eyes, he resumes his previous activity, throwing food into the air. There are so many things I want to say, so many things I could answer, but can't bring myself to say any of them. I go for the safe route instead, to help me learn something about him, "You believe this world is rotten?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he apologizes.
"You didn't, It's just that..." think three or four times before speaking, "that isn't something that I hear everyday." I let a few seconds pass by, the bird in my hand still poking into me. "You are right, some parts of this world are rotten, and those are the parts we have to do our best to change. Just like you said, there are many beautiful things in this world. All of us together have to fight to preserve them, to make this world a better place. It can be done."
He smiles, "you talk with such determination, making me believe that it is such a simple task to perform. I like you, Light. This world would do good in having more people like you."
I act shyly, "Please, don't say those things. It should be common sense for us to want to see our world get better."
"Yet there are so many out there that insist on making it worse," His face is sadden again, "I'll never understand why."
This is why I am doing it! This is exactly why I am utilizing the notebook! This world needs me!
"There's no more Mr. Liebert," states a child.
"There's no more," says another, and our conversation is cut short.
It's like he tosses what we were talking about to the wind, sad expression and everything, and lowers down to the height of the children with a smile as he speaks, "Well then, we'll have to do it again some other day."
The children say their good-byes and go back to their mothers. They thank Johan, and turn to leave soon after.
We are left alone, standing awkwardly in the side walk, even the birds dispersed. It feels like I should go now, but I don't want to leave. I want to talk to him a little longer. In an attempt to kill the silence I ask, "Are they your family?"
He walks toward one of the benches, playfully kicking at small rocks on the way, I subconsciously follow. "Oh, no," I had thought his voice was faked when we first met, but I guess this is the way he always sounds. Must be gifted vocal cords. "They are just children I met here, like you."
I flinch, the idea of someone calling me a child pulling at the core of my pride, "I'm not a child. I'm eighteen." He smiles as he gestures for me to sit and I do, but he doesn't sit with me. He stands, hands behind his back, tilting his head to the side as if ready to listen to a story. "Besides, you don't look a day older than twenty-four."
He gives a small chuckle, so I fix my statement, "Twenty-two?... Twenty-five?... There's no way you can be older than twenty-five."
"I am actually thirty-two."
"What?!" that answer really shocks me, "Are you really?"
"Yes. Why is this so shocking to you?"
"Well, it's because you look very young for thirty-two. You must have some good genes."
He takes a few steps to the left and then to the right, then stands still again and looks back at me, waiting for me to continue. There are so many things I want to ask, why do I feel this way. I don't remember ever wanting to get to know someone as much as right now... Only L... "You're not from here are you?"
"What makes you say that?"
"Well you don't look Japanese, and you have a slight accent."
He's a little embarrassed, "I've never been told I had an accent before."
"It doesn't sound much, you can barely catch it, but it's there."
"I was born in Prague, but have been living in Paris for the last few years."
He's a traveler, interesting.
"Paris? So what are you doing so far away from home?"
He looks off into the distance as if searching for something, the dim light of the setting sun hitting his cheeks, "I'm actually here looking for someone."
I sit up on the bench. Finally, here's something I can cling to, to insure I talk to him again instead of endlessly wondering a park for no reason, "I see, and you're having trouble finding this person?"
"He or she is hard to find, but I get the feeling I will soon."
"He or she? So you don't even know if this person is male or female?" I was going to say "a boy or a girl," but since he is clearly older, and even called me a child earlier, I didn't want to use those terms. "If you have the address or a phone number, I could help you look."
"I don't think he or she is someone that could be reached by any one of those means."
So what are you looking for? A ghost?
"Well, if you need help with anything, I'm here. Just let me know."
"Thank you, Light... You know, there is something that you could help me with. I've been in this city for a while and don't really have anyone to talk to. If you're free sometime, we should go have a meal together and talk."
I did it! "That works for me, I actually don't have many people to talk to either. You should give me your number."
"Sure."
We exchanged numbers and he encourages to meet again soon. It is getting dark and my family must be wondering where I am, not to mention L, so I say good-bye, but he insists on walking me to the bus station.
Johan Liebert... What's the worst that can happen? I have his name.
If all else fails, I'll just use the Death Note.
TBC...
