I own nothing. Review.
"Dr. Chase," a pharmacist whose name I couldn't remember smiled, "How can I help you?"
"Prescription for Vicodin," I replied smiling back at the woman.
A blush came to the woman's cheeks as she turned to get the pills. When she turned around the smile fell from my lips as I thought about exactly what I was going to do.
This was illegal and wrong in so many different ways that I didn't even really want to think about it. That didn't mean that I was going to stop. I couldn't stop. Not anymore. Not that I actually had tried to.
Now that was something I didn't really even want to try to do. Stop. As fearful and horrible I felt about all of this I knew that I wasn't strong enough to even truly think about stopping any of this. Not now. Not ever.
As the pharmacist turned back around I put the smile back on before picking up a pen. I made sure it looked like I was signing for the pills just to make sure no questions were asked.
With another smile I walked off with a bottle of pills rattling in my pocket. One that I knew the pharmacist thought were for House. One that I was going to do everything to make sure House knew nothing about.
No, these pills were for me and me alone. Just like the last bottle had been just for myself. Just like the bottle that came after this would be just for myself. No one was ever going to know about this.
It had started with a dare. Well, not really a dare but a challenge I gave to myself. I needed to see what would happen if I took one of House's spare bottles. He had so many I wanted to know what he would do.
For the most part I knew where the older man kept all of his backup bottles so the only thing I had to really do was figure out which bottle I should take. Once I had that I took the bottle and stored it in my apartment.
I don't know how it happened but House hadn't noticed they were missing. So many times I had wanted to tell him what I had done just so I could see his reaction to everything.
It wasn't until a few days later, after the pills sat in my medicine cabinet that I found that I couldn't stop thinking about them. Which, in retrospect, had been an extremely bad idea.
Since I had taken the pills I had been watching House closely for any sign that he knew and was just plotting something. But when nothing came for almost a week I knew I was in the clear.
Still, the more I watched the older doctor the more I noticed just how many pills I saw him take. It was the first time that I actually paid attention to the real number of pills he took in one day.
And by the time I finally collapsed onto my couch I couldn't stop my brain from wondering what House felt when he took those pills. What would I feel like if I took them?
I took a pill that night and every little pain I had been feeling was gone. I ended up doing things I had been putting off before actually falling asleep easily. Honestly, I hadn't felt that good in a long time.
It wasn't until I woke up the next day that I realized how stupid I had been. I had taken a highly addicting pill, that I had stolen from my boss, for no reason besides wanting to know what it felt like.
I told myself that it was completely idiotic and that I was never going to do it again. And I didn't touch the pills again, not even to put them back in the medicine cabinet,.
Though in the back of my mind all I could think was how amazing I had felt for those few hours. It was a rush that I never thought I'd get to feel in my life time. One I didn't know I wanted.
After everything that had happened with my Mother I had told myself I would never let myself go down that path. It was a reason I did everything I could to avoid pills and alcohol.
I kept that voice in my mind reminding of everything that woman had done to me while she was drunk. And it worked. For awhile. Well, it worked for about a week and I took another pill.
In my defense it had been a bad week. The team had a case, but there had been a major car accident and all hands were on deck. In the end I lost five patients, two of them being children.
I ended up staying at the hospital with little to no sleep for three days before we finally figured out the patient had been lying to us the entire time and I was able to go home.
And as soon as the door closed behind me I found myself picking up the pills. I didn't actually think about what I was doing. All I knew was the pills made me feel better and I needed that. It was just because of the week.
Anyway, I was in pain. My head felt like it was going to split open and I knew that it was not going to be easy to sleep unless I took something to help me. Who cared if I had sleeping pills I could use instead?
It wasn't a big deal or anything. Just to help me out. And if I did the same thing the next week and the next and then five days later and then four days, until I was taking one a day, it meant nothing.
I just needed something to relax me at night and it wasn't affecting how I worked. At least it wasn't until I was down to my last few pills. I don't know why, but it felt like my heart was going to stop when I found that out.
Stealing some from House again was out of the question. I really didn't want to try to explain it if I did get caught. So I did the second best thing. I wrote a script and got it filled while making sure not to leave a trail pointing to me.
And now I'm here. Walking around the hospital, my work, with a bottle of Vicodin, that I had basically stolen, in my pocket and the demanding urge to take a pill right now.
Shaking my head I quickly made my way up to Diagnostics. I would be off work in five hours and I could take one then. Anyway, it's not like I needed a pill I just wanted one.
I wasn't addicted to them. They just helped me get through the night. That was all. I didn't have to take them. I wanted to. There was a huge difference between what I was doing and what an addict did.
"Hey Chase," Cameron smiled walking through the door right after me and handing me a case file, "Think we got a case."
As I sat in my normal seat and opened the file. I have no idea why I was actually looking at it. If House wanted the case it was up to him, but Cameron had a tendency to have me look over them before she gave them to him.
I think she figured that since I worked with House longer than anyone else he wasn't going to be as nasty towards me as them. Oh, how she was wrong. He was even nastier.
Honestly I had no idea why House did some of the things he did to me. Part of me truly wondered if the older man hated me that much or if there was something else going on that I just didn't get.
Shaking my head I tried to focus my attention on the file in front of me, but the only thing I could think of was the pills in my pocket. They were just innocently waiting for me to take them.
I felt myself blink a few times as my hand twitched towards the bottle. Everything in me was telling me that I should take a pill. That everything would be better if I just took a pill.
Would it be so bad if I took one now? As soon as I did I knew that I'd feel better and be a lot more focused. That was something that I needed for this job. Still, this was taking a drug at work. Was it worth it?
"Chase!" a voice yelled next to my ear.
The voice caused me to jump up, but I had been so startled that I ended up tipping over the chair and falling backwards. Blinking a few more times I slowly stood up before looking at Cameron.
She looked so worried about me at that moment and usually that was something I could brush off, but for some reason this time I felt myself getting extremely angry about it.
I wasn't one of her pet projects or someone that needed to be saved. No, right now I needed…All I needed to do right now was take one little pill and everything would go back to normal.
"Chase," Cameron started to say.
"I'll be back," I interrupted before walking out of the room quickly and into the first men's room I saw.
Moving quickly I went into an empty stall and took the Vicodin out of my pocket. Was I really about to take a pill while I was at work? Was I really that desperate to do that?
I let out a soft sigh before opening the bottle and taking one out. This wasn't good. I knew that in my mind, but right now I could honestly say that I really didn't care about how dangerous and stupid this was.
After dry swallowing the pill I put the bottle back in my pocket and slowly made my way back into Diagnostics. If I acted like I was completely fine than everyone else would think I was fine too. Right?
"Wombat," House commented as soon as I walked through the door effectively knocking me out of my thoughts, "Go do my clinic hours or find a case. Whichever. I'm not picky."
