"You don't have to be a brat all the time!" He yelled. "Have some decency for once!"
"Well at least I'm not lazing around all day!"
"Except you always are! That's all you ever do!" It was stupid of me to deny it. It's just I had so much anger built up.
"Matt you don't understand!"
"You think so? You don't understand anything you piece of shit!" With that he ran out of the house. I've made a mistake. It's all my fault so why can't my feet move to go after him? Why am I hesitating? He's all I have left. Please, just move legs move! Fuck!
My breathing was starting to quicken. My chest was tightening. I can't breathe. No please, not now. I went to my room. C'mon where is it! I saw it's shine on my bed and some relief comes to me. Thank god I found it. My inhaler.
I shouldn't run so much, but this is important. Where of all places could he be? C'mon think! While running, I saw a hint of his red hoodie in the park. Even more relief rushed in until I saw he was some other guy. Still, I continued forward.
"Matt!" I could tell that he didn't want to see me. There was another thing I could tell. He was smoking. A painful memory hit me, but I managed to push it away. I have to focus. "Matt, oh my god, I was so worried..." I need to breathe.
"Why?" Matt please not now. Wait is he smoking? Matt you idiot!
"Why? I should be the one asking why! Why are you smoking?"
"Answer my question first." He's pushing it. I can understand why.
"Fine. I was worried, you just flipped out and ran out!" I know not even the truth is going to get through him.
"Maybe I ran out because you were being a prick." He'll never understand will he?
"I said I'm sorry."
"You're never sorry."
"At least I don't smoke!" That was somewhat of a lie.
"You see,"He help up the cigarette. "the cancer stick helps."
"How?" I know how but I just have to play the dumbass in this situation.
"What's it to you? Eh? I know you're my brother and you're the only thing I have left. But your life is so great compared to mine!" No, it isn't. Not at all. "Do you even know what the hell it's like to be completely ignored every day! No! Your life is just perfect!" Yes, I do because my life is no where near perfect. It never was.
"I-" I need to tell him.
"Don't even think that I'm done!" He put out the cigarette. "You even forget aboot me you goddamn asshole! I'm sick it of it!" I took the hit. I know I deserved it. Of course I forget about him but it's not for the reasons he thinks. This clueless ass.
"Calm down."
"No! Let me go!"
"Calm down!"
"No!"
"Mat!" I managed.
"What!"
"I'm sorry..." Was all I could say. I was starting to break.
"Really? Now of all times you're sorry?"
"Yes."
"You know, I'm the one that should be sorry."
"Huh?"
"Dude, I punched you in the face."
"True."
"Now, asshole, quit crying and get up." What goes on in his head?
"Geez, why are you so mean?"
"Have you met my friends? Oh wait you have."
"True."
"Now let's go home. Bye, Gil!"
"Gil?" Who's Gil? Is it that white guy?
"Al he was here the whole time."
"Really?"
"You are so rude." Gil said smugly. I see. Matt you've made a mistake.
I laid there in bed letting myself just breathe. I needed to just relax. It was hard to when my mind was whirling so much. I need to tell him. I need to tell Matt. If I don't tell him now, my time will run out. That's the thing I can't seem to find the time. Screw time! I hate it. I hate myself for letting it fly by. If only mom was here. She would be able to calm me down. She would know what to do. I miss her.
If only...I didn't make mistakes.
