Can I Help You?
Good day to you. The idea for this came to me a while ago, and I hope you all enjoy it.
"Excuse me sir, but can I help you?" Hena asked Link politely.
"..." Link said, staring at Hena's chest and drooling slightly. 'She's hot...' He thought.
Midna fumed silently in Link's shadow. 'Why should that fish-bitch get all of Link's attention? I mean, I know that I'm not exactly attractive in this form, but he should realize that I'm willing to do things to/with/on him that would make her puke! I'm the mischievious and naughty one. ... Stupid fish-bitch...'
Hena crossed her arms over her chest self-conciously. 'He's really creeping me out... but he is kind of cute...' She cleared her throat and bent forward allowing Link to see down her blouse. "Like what you see, sailor? Hee hee! Here, I'll tell you what, if you can catch one fish of every species in Hyrule, I'll let you have, or do, whatever you want. Deal?" 'Heh' she thought, 'That should get him out of here for a while. And who knows? If he can actually do it, I might just let him...' Her thoughts trailed off.
"I'll do it!" Link said eagerly. "I'll catch one of every fish, and then I'll come back here and give you the ride of your life," he said suggestively, snapping Hena out of her stupor, before leaving.
Twenty-four days later, Link's journal was three quarters full.
And Midna was trying hared and harder to distract Link from his mission to sleep with Hena.
"Come on! Don''t you think we should finish saving the world?" Midna implored.
"No," Link grunted, "I wanna do it. There's a good chance I'll die trying to defeat Zant, and I don't want to die a virgin."
"You could always do it with me," Midna muttered.
"Besides," Link continued, "Iza still owes me for saving her from those Twilit beings, and I've always wanted to have a threesome, though I used to think I would have to settle for Beth and Illia."
His rod started bending, and he reeled in another fish.
Fourteen days later, Link had completed his fishing journal, and he was back at Hena's store.
"C'mon! You promised!" Link shouted at Iza, "You said that if I could get Hena to agree to a threesome, then you would have sex with me!"
"But you only got Hena to agree to sleep with you, she never agreed to a threesome," Iza replied stubbornly.
Just then, Hena stood between them.
"Actually... Big sis... Ummm, I wouldn't mind a threesome..." She murmured.
'Shit!,' Midna thought, 'If I don't do something quick, Link is gonna sleep with those whores! I didn't want to do this, but he leaves me no choice.' And at that, Midna activated Zant's curse, and transformed Link into his wolf shape.
Hena and Iza screamed in horror, thinking some monster had disguised itself as Link, and they ran off, far away from Link.
Link stared in horror. He had been so close to what every guy has dreamed of... And Midna ruined it.
"Well, hero," Midna giggled, "If your still horny, you could always ride me," She cooed seductively.
With that, Link fainted, his brain refusing to believe what just happened.
"Aww... Well, I suppose since he's unconcious, he wouldn't mind if I helped myself to some of his sweet ass-cake."
Man, this gave me some major Snoozles flashbacks... Eh, whatever. I hope you managed to enjoy this glimpse into the heart of depravity, because I sure did.
