Chapter one: Mother is Near
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A/N: Greetings! This is Cay here, AKA Neko, and I got a new story for y'all! This is my first 100 fic, and I hope you will enjoy the ride. First chapter is gonna throw you right into it, and a new chapter should come within the next seven days or so. After the unspeakable episode I just really needed to write something to fix their mistakes so... I did this. It takes place after the end of the second season and will loosely follow the beginning of the third season before I twist it into something new. I hope you'll enjoy and cye in the reviews!
2nd A/N: I will test something new in this story. When I write chapters I listen to songs, and now for you people who might be interested, I will write down what song I listened to while writing what chapter. Or well what song influenced it the most. For this chapter, it was "Drink the Water" by Justin Cross. I love that song. Now go and read and enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own none of the fictional characters or anything related to the 100 Franchise. Neither do I own the song "Drink the Water" by Justin Cross.
One would think that after completing their mission and winning the war you would celebrate; celebrate for the choices you've made to get to this point, celebrate for everyone you've saved and also celebrate the ones who offered themselves for the greater good. It's a simple concept; enjoy the peace you've earned through war and pain, enjoy what you deserved through suffering before. Very simple indeed. Yet one needn't look far until they could see that this concept didn't suit every soul. Some souls would feel their shoulders being forced down towards the ground by weights heavier than elephants, heavier than stone and heavier than the bodies of those who had been sacrificed. One of these people would be Clarke Griffin. She had won a war, defeated her enemy and saved her own… yet celebrating was the last thing to enter her mind. Her head had been empty of any joyous emotion or thought for some time, except in the solitary moments, where her thoughts torment her of all she had accomplished; remembering miniscule moments, that at the time were overlooked, was now bittersweet memories. Yes, for two months now she had been feeling next to no joy because of her actions. During this time, she had changed. A lot. Anyone who would do what she had done would change. Maybe not a lot straight away, but as time went on, change they would. It may be a change in attitude, night terrors or personality differences, but the change was inevitable.
She woke up with a start, her breath hitched in her throat, dry from the cold air. Her hair was a mess, yet the sunshine still softly reflected off its golden locks. The clothes she wore differed from her more known attire; pants made of hide, soft and smooth, a deep, dark brown and engraved by threads in the form of tribal patterns. Her hands were partly covered by leather gloves, only the top half of her fingers sticking out from the dark coloured material. Her upper body wore a thick and sturdy leather jacket, with straps across her midsection, yet a large opening to expose her neck. She did not have many pockets, only two; one on the side of her jacket and one by her chest. The rest of her storage compartment consisted of straps made to hold daggers and buttons to hold certain pouches and flasks.
Her attire was a large contrast from where she began. Where only a few moments ago she could recall wearing her simple leather jacket and blueish grey shirt, but now she wore these grounder clothes. She realised quickly enough the reason behind this, she was back in the real world now, and thankfully, what had just transpired had not been real. Or had it been?
The nightmare; the same one she had been having every single night since she had left the mountain, still haunted her. But, it was not only the nights that plagued her mind, it was the days too. Everything she saw would remind her of the choices she had made. A bush would remind her of Trikru, the old allies of her people. A fallen old tree would remind her of the Ark; of how they had torn down the forest by crashing from space. Stumbling upon an old and cracked concrete wall or structure, in the midst of the thick woods, she would be reminded of Mount Weather, and all the lives she had been forced to take, to save her own. Simple things, broken and ripped branches, old and bare animal bones, these evoked memories of the Panau, or more specifically Lexa who had been there.-
No; she would not go there. Some memories were harder than others, and this one would become the catalyst to worse ones. She stopped herself and her thoughts, yet it did nothing to stop the ball of bile from climbing her throat, and the accompanying rage rising from her chest. She had trusted the commander. She could even admit to admiring her, to liking her and maybe feeling something for her… perhaps... No, definitely not. If only, she had got more time to get over the memory of Finn. If only, the treacherous, grounder leader hadn't broken their alliance, their friendship, and Clarke's hope, for both a better life and the safety of her friends. If only, she hadn't betrayed her; she could've given the ruthless leader a chance. A proper friendship and bond would have bloomed. Yet, she had turned her back on her and all they could have been. But, Clarke of course knew that Lexa had done everything right. She had made the right choice for her people. If Clarke had been offered that very same proposition, she too would have taken it, to save her own. What leader could say no to the guaranteed safety of their people?
Yet, she felt so utterly betrayed, so very torn and broken. She felt nothing but pain over what had transpired. She had trusted the commander with her and her people's safety, with her worries and concerns and in return Lexa had trusted her, shared with her personal things about herself. Things like her past pains and pressing concerns. Things like having a particular liking to Clarke herself. Yet, she turned her back on her, and that was what hurt. That, along with the pain she bore from killing an entire civilization, just to get her friends back, consumed her. Was it really worth it? No… Probably not. Out here alone, at times she was certain it was not. But that was the choice she had gone with. She bears it, so her people don't have to.
Once again it had been Lexa's fault, she told her of the burdens of a leader, and if not for her betrayal, she would've been fine. She wouldn't have been feeling this immense guilt. Or probably not at least, she had memories that followed her long before she met Lexa.
Clarke stood up on her shaky legs and scanned her surroundings with careful eyes. Within the two months she had spent blindly wandering through the woods, she had learned more than what one would think. She could recognise several animal prints by now and could quickly spot signs for imminent weather changes, as well, finding prints of things from the distant past that she could use. There were a stunning amount of old car wrecks, bunkers and train tunnels to use. With the Reapers now gone, the forest was the safest it has ever been. But that did not mean there were no dangers; creatures of the wild still lurked in the shadows and around trees, threatening to harm anyone at any second.
Upon finishing her quick, yet thorough scan of the area, Clarke finally turned and officially started her day by climbing up a thick and sturdy old tree. She dug her nails into the bark and felt it threaten to peel beneath her thin fingers, but she didn't let it have the satisfaction of making her fall. She flung herself up quickly, and using the momentum of the first leap she almost ran up the tree. She reached a big tree branch quickly enough and grabbed onto it before gingerly dragging herself up onto it. From up here, she could observe the forest floor below with ease. Her ocean blue eyes scanned the ground cautiously, looking for any and all threats she might've missed. She didn't know why, but it felt like she had missed something, as if something had in fact visited her during the night hours. She huffed as she once again had found nothing and averted her gaze away from the forest floor and upwards. She now searched through the thick rust and grey coloured tree branches, above and around her, coated with all shades of green, and lately, reds, yellows and oranges had started to make their appearance.
She knew why; endless classes on the Ark had made sure of that. It meant fall was coming, and it was coming soon. It wasn't just the leaves indicating the change of seasons. It was getting colder each day that went by as well, but these things were the only facts she knew from her classes in the sky. But no words or images could tell her of the chill in her spine, the dryness of the crisp fall air and the sound of crunching leaves under her feet. The way the forest sounded, looked and even smelled different. It smelled less sweet than it did in the summer, more wooden and dry. The entire forest changed gradually, then all at once; the trees seemingly communicating to match up with the seasons… It was spectacular to see.
But she knew that there wasn't much time until the clouds and cold would build up enough to cause snowfall. The first snowfall she would ever see. The thought made her excited, tense and joyful, but also frightened. She wouldn't be able to fend off the cold living like she did now, and she couldn't possibly go back to Camp Jaha. Not after all that she's done…
A sudden rustle above dragged Clarke away from her thoughts and her head snapped to the branches above. There, a few branches away was something that hadn't been there earlier. Only a few metres above, a branch had twisted and been broken. It now hung desperately onto its last remains of life through a slim thread of its own bark. It had just been broken as it still waved in the wind, still going along the motion it had been subjected to. Judging by the thickness of the wood, whatever had been on it couldn't have weighed much more than herself.
She moved up the tree slowly, cautiously. She had understood quickly upon leaving Camp Jaha that she would be safer in the trees than on the ground, yet she never could find much comfort in sleeping above the ground. The thought of rolling over in her sleep and falling out of the tree made sure to haunt her whenever she thought of it, yet besides that, most of her waking hours were spent within the tree crowns, thus she had been forced to learn fast what kinds of branches could take her weight or not. Or well, mostly. Some branches of course you just simply could not tell if they would hold or not, she'd discovered that the hard way, gaining quite a few cuts and bruises from unexpected falls.
Upon reaching the higher treetops, she found something she could not recognise. A scratch mark in the bark was there, or rather the bark was missing in the form of a scratch mark. It was as if someone had taken several swords or daggers and peeled it off the flesh of the tree. She put up her hand and softly ran her fingers along the coarse surface. It tickled her soft and sensitive fingertips, tingling her sense of feeling.
Suddenly something stung the tip of her finger and she could not help but to gasp quietly. She retracted her hand from the tree trunk quickly and looked at the finger that now had a burning sensation coursing through it. She could see a light contour of something pointy just beneath her skin, but before she could properly make an assumption about what it was she heard a growl and rustle behind her. She felt her muscles freeze and turned around slowly only to let her eyes land on a black and hairy shape on another branch a few metres away. Its ears were large, its paws big and snout long. The cold, brown eyes of the creature looked at her curiously and intently. Her blood was frozen in her veins, despite her heart rate increasing. Her spine tingled with shivers and her muscles were stiff as she recognised the creature from images she had seen on the Ark.
A bear cub.
The blonde swallowed a lump of nervousness in her throat and started moving slowly, her hand reaching for a sharp stone in her boot that she had been using for a knife, but was stopped from doing so as the movement peaked the bear's curiosity further. It let out a huff and started moving closer to Clarke on the branch, and it did so quickly. It jumped over to the branch the blonde was perched upon, her back being pressed against the trunk. Beneath her she could hear and feel the branch struggling to keep itself up, to not break under the immense weight, but the bear did not react. It kept moving towards her. As the bear only crawled closer, panic crept into the blondes head and body, fueled by the fear for her life. In the midst of her fright, she moved quickly for her sharp stone in her boot and as the bear came just within reach, she swiped at it and created a large wound across its face. It roared in pain and stumbled off the branch, but managed to grab onto it again with the use of its claws. This was all it took though.
With a loud snap and rustle, the branch with the cub and Clarke on it tumbled towards the ground. She could hear the wind whistling past her ears as she faced the sky, seeing the leaves, branches and clouds above distance themselves from her. It looked rather… Peaceful. She felt herself readying herself to meet her fate only to be interrupted by feeling a sharp pain on the side of her head and down to her jaw and neck. It shook her vision and senses, blurring all perception. Now instead of the calm view of the sky shrinking, she faced the ground rapidly she had hit must've flipped her in mid air.
She hit the ground roughly, her chest hitting the branch that had been falling just beneath her. She could feel and hear her ribs snapping and tried to cry out in pain, but since all her air had been knocked out of her only a low whistle was heard. She blinked as she tried to focus on where she was, her vision shaking from the pain. Her senses were shaking, blurred and disorientation was strong, consciousness struggling to stay where it was. Just as she was about to let her mind sleep, she felt the ground shake and her eyes forced open. She was met by the large, blurry and looming shape of an adult bear towering above her. She knew this was her time. She knew she would die here at the paws of this creature. It was over. But even if she knew that there was no way she would survive, she refused the idea of at least not trying to do something about it. She lifted her head and placed her hands underneath her to push herself up. The bear had its back turned on her, caring more about its injured cub than the human behind it. She stood up as quickly as she could, her legs shaking and hurting. She sighed quietly and hissed as her leg and ribs sent a shockwave of pain to course through her body. The pain echoed on the side of her head and she could feel how her skin had been opened and stretched from behind her ear to the edge of her eyebrow and down to her jaw and neck. Luckily it was far away from her eyes so no blood was blocking her field of view. Her breathing was laboured and heavy, it hurt at each intake of breath. She guessed that at least she must've broken at least two or three ribs based off the pain. Yet she couldn't be sure without properly looking. In her hand the shape of her sharp stone could be felt. It had miraculously stayed in in her hand during the fall at the price of the palm of her hand now being cut open. She held it firmly and squeezed it lightly, the result being a trickle of blood running between her fingers before dropping to the thin brush below on the ground. A sigh escaped her lips as she prepared to take a step forward.
She carefully lifted her leg off the ground and placed it down again to approach the bear silently, but as she shifted over all her weight onto the new leg, another shockwave of pure and raw pain hit her. She cried out as her leg folded beneath her and she collapsed onto the cold and hard forest floor. The cry had awoken the bear's attention and it turned around quickly to face the source of the noise behind it. Their eyes only met for a second before the bear let out a spine chilling roar in rage and stormed Clarke. She could only feel fear settle in her mind as she let herself close her eyes and in one final desperate attempt, she swung her arm holding the sharp stone towards the bear. She could feel it make impact with something tough as well as feel the coarse fur tickle her hand in the whisper of a touch. She heard the bear roar ferociously yet in a very laboured way. This made her open her blue eyes again out of curiosity. Out of the bear's neck, blood was pulsing out of a deep cut. The bear's breathing sounded laboured and it was absolutely furious, but it was growing weaker quickly. But in one final moment of rage, it stood up on its back legs and brought down a heavy and large paw onto Clarke's head successfully. The pulsing pain and imminent fear she had been feeling was consumed quickly by pure and clean darkness.
So! That was the first chapter! Did you like it? Would you like to tell me what you think of it? Did you spot any mistakes of some kind in here? If you did, Leave a review!
Big thanks to my Beta Reader bottledupdreams and my editor streetsofme on Tumblr, for helping me with this! I owe you.
