Everything was so difficult when it came to her life; her job, her relationship, everything. She had been dating josh for quite awhile now and all her difficulties seemed to melt away when she was with him. That was until the kiss Castle and she had shared on that very memorable night. The first was just for show, but the second was filled with passion. Something she had never wanted to admit appeared in those few seconds that her lips were locked with his. They never talked about what had happened that night, but ever since then she couldn't help but think of what it would be like if she were with Castle instead of Josh.

They had recently gotten a case that was similar to one she had had before. A sociopath was killing innocent woman in hopes of Beckett solving the murders and finding the person responsible. The killer, the same as before, thought of Beckett as Nikki Heat instead of who she really was. As soon as the file for the second murder landed on her desk she knew immediately what was happening.

If she were alone she would have broken down right then and there, but she was in the precinct where all of her friends happened to be working. Everyone thought of Beckett as the hard-ass detective who didn't let anything get in her way of finding the murderer.

Beckett had never truly intended to join the police academy the only reason she joined was because of her mother's murder.

When Beckett was 19 her mother had been brutally murdered in an alley. The police ruled it as gang violence, but Beckett knew otherwise. She thought that if she were to join the academy she would be able to find the true reason her mother was killed and help others so they wouldn't have to go through what she went through at such a young age.

Kate sat there looking over the whiteboard with the timeline and all the information they had on the victims unaware of what was going on around her. She was in such deep thought trying to find a connection that she hadn't realized Castle had walked up behind her.

"Hey I thought you might need this," Castle said as he placed a cup of coffee beside Beckett.

Kate, pulled out of her thought bubble, turned to see Castle standing there smiling with his normal lopsided grin that she had come to enjoy.

"Thanks. I've been staring at this board all day long and can't seem to find a connection between our two vics."

As Castle and Beckett turned to look at the board together Esposito hung up the phone and said, "A body was found in the park. Lanie seems to think it's our same killer."

With a heavy sigh Beckett picked up her coat and coffee and said, "Let's go Castle."

All they had to do was look at the victim to realize that the killer was the same as the other two murders plus, like the other times, he had left a note addressed to Beckett. As Beckett read the note Castle could tell that the case was starting to get to her.

Dear Nikki,

Every minute you take trying to find me is a risk you take of me killing another innocent woman. For their sake I hope you can find me.

Sincerely,

Your loving fan

When Beckett finished the note she put her hands on her hips and muttered something to herself that Castle could barely hear, but sounded something like, "That bastard has no idea who he's messing with."

"Esposito, can you run this and see if the killer happened to leave his prints on it."

"Sure Beckett no problem. Ryan and I are gonna go canvas to see if anyone saw what happened here," Esposito said as he turned to leave.

"Lanie, do you have the time of death?" Beckett asked while turning her attention back to the body.

"As of right now it's hard to tell because of the snow, but I'll have a better idea when I get her back to the lab. Listen Beckett if you need to go home…"

"No, I'll be fine," Beckett said a little harsher than she meant, "Just call me when you know some more information."

She started walking towards the car so quickly that Castle had to run to catch up with her.

"Are you sure you're alright? You seemed a little upset," Castle asked in a concerned tone that made Beckett feel a little sorry she was being so difficult.

Beckett nodded as she wiped away a tear that she would never admit to having.

"I just need to go back to the precinct to see if there is anything that connects our 3 vics."

"Beckett," Castle said as he grabbed Kate's shoulder and turned her so they were now facing each other, "Let's go get something to eat. You haven't eaten at all today."

"Yea I have. I had a bite of a doughnut this morning."

"You need to eat more than just a bite of doughnut. Come on let's go to Remy's and grab a burger."
Now that she thought about it her stomach was growling and it wouldn't hurt if she took 30 minutes off to eat.

"Alright Castle. One burger, but then I'm going back to work."

There it was again, that same grin that made Beckett smile herself.

As soon as they got there Castle had ordered a beer for the both of them. He used the excuse that it was just one and Beckett really needed it. Sadly Beckett agreed and took a huge gulp before Castle could say I told you so. Before they knew it they had drank four beers each and were starting to get a little drunk.

"I really need to get back to work Castle," Beckett slurred, "Come on let's go."

She reached for her keys as if she were going to get up and drive away like this. Luckily Castle had better reflexes than she did at the moment and grabbed them for she could.

"Castle, give me my keys back I need to go."

"You're not going anywhere you're totally trashed. Let me drive you."

Beckett scoffed, "Castle you aren't much sober than I am."

As Castle walked towards the door Beckett tripped out of the booth and rushed after him. Since she was so intoxicated she didn't realize that Castle had suddenly stopped and she ran right into him.

"Castle, what the hell are you doing?"

As she looked up she saw him gesture towards a taxi. "Since you won't let me drive you let me pay for your taxi." He still had her keys so she didn't have much of a choice. She slid smoothly into the taxi and he followed quickly after her.

The ride to her house was silent, but not an awkward silence. The only time either one of them spoke was when Kate told the driver that this was her building. The taxi driver nodded and pulled over to the side of the rode to let her out. Castle paid the guy and started to follow Beckett up to her apartment when she turned around and said, "What do you think you're doing? You aren't coming up to my apartment." Castle frowned and said, "Well the taxi has already left and plus I still have your keys." He swung them in front of her face as if teasing her. Unfortunately he was too drunk to get them fast enough. So she had no other choice to invite up.

The ride in the elevator up to her apartment was much like the ride in the taxi, silent. Beckett fumbled with her keys unable to get the right one. Castle eventually had to help her unlock her own door which made her blush a little.

"Do you want anything to drink?"

"Do you have wine?"

"You really think more alcohol would be good idea?" She asked as she raised her eyebrows.

"Why not. What harm could it do?

She shrugged her shoulders and walked over to the cabinet to get two glasses out and started pouring the wine. He watched her intently. Man was she gorgeous; her long brown hair, lean body, and those legs. He loved it when she wore things that showed off her legs, which she rarely did, only on special occasions.

"So where is Josh?" Castle had been wondering all night.

"Probably a late shift at the hospital. Some important surgery he had to do." Castle could hear the hurt in her voice. "Well here is your wine," Beckett said as she handed him the glass and sat down so their knees were slightly touching.

He watched her as she took a long sip from her glass and then followed her action. All the wine he had tonight he was going to pay for it tomorrow.

"So are you ever going to give me my keys back or are you going to keep them and put them in your shrine," she said as she laughed at her own joke. The wine was definitely getting to her.

"How did you know that I had a shrine for you?" he teased.

As she grinned she said, "Well Castle you wouldn't be the first."

"Oh I knew you were popular, but I didn't know you were that popular."

She laughed and rolled her eyes, "You'd be surprised how many people love me," she said it jokingly, but what he said slightly knocked the breathe out of her.

"Kind of like I love you." He had that same grin that he was famous for. Before she knew what was happening she had leaned forward to kiss him. It was long and passionate. She couldn't tell if it was from all the alcohol she had consumed or if it were true feelings, although she thought it to be a mixture of both. They pulled away from each other only because of lack of oxygen.

"Sorry I don't know…" Before Kate had time to finish her sentence Castle had pushed her onto her back and his hands were roaming all over her body. The only thing she could think of at that moment was the fact she was glad they had set their glasses on the table before anything happened.

Kate had her hands in Castle's hair as if to hold onto him and reality while Castle was unbuttoning her shirt. Kate couldn't think straight. She knew this was wrong, but it all felt so good and her mind was so cloudy that she could barely tell what was happening. Her shirt suddenly flew open and before she knew it Castle was kissing his way from her neck to her black lacey bra. Luckily she wore sexy undergarments Kate thought to herself.

Without hesitation Kate grabbed the bottom of Castle's shirt and yanked it upward so his chest was now visible. Oh God Kate thought as she stared at Castle's chest. Her hands were working their way down his chest to his pants. Within seconds Kate undid his pants and was yanking them off.

He looked down at her with a devilish grin, "Now I think you have too many clothes on," Castle said in a husky voice as he unbuttoned and yanked Kate's pants off. He was so quick that Kate couldn't help but let out a slight gasp. As Castle tried to wrap his arms around Kate, so he could be closer to her, he hit his elbow on something and fell off of Kate onto the floor. Before Kate could stop herself she was laughing hysterically. Watching Castle fall off the couch was the funniest thing she had seen in awhile. For some reason Castle falling off the couch snapped her back to reality.

Beckett's face got all serious, "Castle I can't do this. We shouldn't be doing this."

"What are you talking about? You seemed to be enjoying yourself until I fell off the couch," he seemed hurt.

"I know, but I can't do this to Josh. I think you need to leave. I'll call you a cab." Before he had time to protest she had gotten off the couch and walked into her bedroom. When she came out of her bedroom minutes later in sweatpants and a hoodie, Castle was gone.

When Castle got home that night he had five missed calls from Beckett. Instead of calling her back he ignored them and went to bed.