I wish I could tell Phil how I felt. I like him- no, love him. I always have. Ever since the first PhilIsNotOnFire, but I couldn't tell him. I didn't have the guts to. I shouldn't tell him. What if he didn't feel the same way? He probably didn't. I wouldn't tell him. That was never going to happen.
But it hurt. It hurt watching Phil laugh at the "phan proof" videos. It hurt to listen to Phil talk about how stupid our fans were to ever think phan was real.
The best I could do was to hide the pain. Act like nothing was wrong, to fake a smile. I was genuinely happy around Phil most of the time anyway, what was the difference if I faked it sometimes.
"Phil..." I had said.
"Yes?" he looked up from his computer.
"Uhh…" Tell him! What's the worst that can happen? You could play it off as a joke. Phil looked concerned at my obvious hesitation.
"Dan..?" Phil prompted.
"….Nothing…" I said. He shrugged and went back to his computer.
I guess there are some things you can't share.
