Much Ado About Nothing
Summary: When you're in the Brotherhood, it isn't simply a test of survival against the X-Geeks, Mystique, or Wanda; It's a test of sanity.
Note: After reliving my favourite childhood show, this story just begged to be written. I mean, come on - the Brotherhood is just one endless opportunity for humour!
I don't own Lance and his Merry Mutants...I mean the Brotherhood.
Chapter 1: Mornings:
Lance Alvers didn't like mornings. Most people didn't, really, but him especially. Each time that damn alarm clock started ringing in Pietro's room at exactly seven oh-two, it woke him up, too. But that was Pietro's style – if he had to suffer, you'd better bet that everyone around him would suffer, too.
Sitting up, Lance took a deep breath and proceeded to shake the house down, almost literally. Hearing a loud groan from Freddy's room and an embarrassingly girly scream followed by a thump from Toad's, he let himself relax, grinning slightly. Hey, maybe Pietro was right; misery did love company.
Feeling much better about the morning already, Lance walked out of his room with a towel strung over his shoulder, whistling a tune Kitty had taught him the night before. Some sort famous jazz song, she'd said. Truthfully he didn't really care, but it sounded cool and he wanted to show her he'd learned how to whistle it. It was one of those things he loved to do, just to see the expression on her face when he told her.
Passing Toad's door, Lance dodged the blob of slime that came hurtling towards him out of force of habit than any real sense of danger. After all, slime was just slime and he was about to take a shower anyways. Hearing the muffled mix of swearing and threats from inside the room, Lance guessed that Toad realized that, too.
Reaching the bathroom, he frowned. Standing in front of him was Princess Pietro himself, tapping his foot impatiently outside the door. Rolling his eyes, Lance stomped up to the door, grabbed Pietro by the shoulder, and spun him around.
"Listen up, I need a shower, and if you get the bathroom first you'll be in there all morning. So get out of my way," Lance snapped, bracing himself for the royal bitching he was about to receive. Speeding out from under Lance's hand, Pietro rolled his eyes.
"Oh yeah? Well I think the rule in this house is you snooze you loose, and you definitively snoozed here!" he taunted, grinning in front of the door. Narrowing his eyes, Lance raised his fists. The ground rumbled, but Pietro only laughed.
"Wacha gonna do, sink me? As if. Hey, guess what I found," he added brightly, before taking off in a flash of blue and silver down the hallway. Coming back in about half a second, Pietro grinned evilly, holding up a small picture frame.
Eyes widening, Lance couldn't help but blush. It was a picture of himself and Kitty at the beach, her wrapped up in his jacket and splashing him with water. It was private, it was personal, and Lance had been pretty sure none of the Brotherhood knew about. Apparently, he'd underestimated Pietro's ability to get dirt on anyone.
"Looks like you snoozed again," Pietro laughed, making kissy faces at the picture. "Lance and Kitty, sitting on the beach, F-U–"
"Shut up and give that back, asshole!" Lance yelled, lunging forwards and tackling Pietro, still laughing, to the ground. This was a fight beyond powers – this was a fight to prove his manliness. Pietro didn't really seem to care, and for a while they rolled around on the floor, trying to get the upper hand on each other. Lance had the advantage of size, but Pietro was quick as a snake, so it was a fairly even fight.
They were both so wrapped up in their fight that they didn't notice Freddy walk out of the bathroom, give them a look, and continue on his way. He'd seen stranger things, after all. Walking back into his bedroom the Blob laid down, closing his eyes. He may not be smart, but even he could tell what was going to happen.
A couple minutes later the next door down the hallway creaked open. Toad stumbled out, yawning and rubbing his eye. Freaking Lance and his earthquakes, woke him up too damn early. Shuffling slowly down the hallway, he passed his two teammates – still battling to the death – walked into the bathroom, and closed the door.
Lance and Pietro both froze when they heard the slam. Jumping up from where they'd been fighting, they listened in disbelief to the sound of grumbling and running water floating through the thin walls of the bathroom. Glancing at one another in slight panic, they both ran towards it.
"TOAD! What the hell man?" Lance yelled, hammering on the peeling wood. If he'd needed a shower before his fight with Pietro, he really needed one now.
"Yeah, get out so we can get ready for school!" Pietro whined, fingering his limp hair pathetically, "it'll take me twice as long now, thanks to Lance!"
Turning to face Pietro, Lance opened his mouth to shout back an insult when the door flew open, hitting Pietro in the foot and Lance in the knee. Clutching his burning patella and swearing, Lance looked up – only to get an eye-full of Toad, dripping wet and hunched up under a giant towel.
"Goddamn yo, can't a guy take 'is monthly shower wid'out gettin' harassed for it?" he snapped, before slamming the door closed behind him. For a few moments, Pietro and Lance just stood there, not quite sure wether they ought to beat Toad senseless, or return to their fight. Finally, Pietro ran a hand through his hair with a dramatic sigh.
"Well, I'm going back to bed," he decided, before turning around and running back to his room. Shaking his head, Lance let out a loud groan. Apparently he'd have to wait until the next day to show Kitty his whistling. Looking down, he picked up the picture frame – undamaged, thank god – and walked slowly back to his room.
He didn't wake up again until he heard Toad yelling something about knocking before entering, followed by Pietro squealing about webbed feet.
Lance decided that it was probably a better idea just not to ask.
Well, there's chapter one of what I hope will turn out to be a series of short little ficlets about the Brotherhood that (hopefully) make you smile, at least a little. Chapter 2's done, but I want to see if anyone is actually interested in this story before I continue it.
Ciao,
StarsAndSparks44
