AN: WARNING: This story has very dark moments and is not for those who like happy, lovey-dovey stories. In fact, it hints at some very serious and less than… Well if you don't like it just don't read it. Sorry. It's sad, but I promise it gets better.

Anyway, here it goes.

Life could not possibly get better than this.

I turned eighteen today and graduated Fuuka Academy just a week prior. I had spent the entire day with the love of my life – okay so my life would be perfect if she would just love me back, but still – and now I was on my way home from a lovely dinner with my father. I was so happy that I thought my heart may burst open from all the joy being packed into it. I thought that nothing could bring me down from this high.

I was wrong.

At first, there was only pain. Something hit me in the back of the head and I blacked out. Unfortunately, I awoke before they were done with me. My mouth was clamped down on and I could do nothing until they were finished. It was painful and humiliating. I wanted to die. I wanted to disappear from this world. But I was not even granted that one wish. I was left alive and breathing when they stalked off. I was left to pick myself up and walk home.

Yet I could not even get into the sanctuary of my home to rid myself of this filth before tragedy struck me again. It was too much this time, though. Whatever was left of rational thought in my mind had been entirely preoccupied by this one nagging thought.

More than anyone else, I don't want her to see me like this.

But of course it had to be her. Leaning against the balcony and looking out at the night sky, her raven hair fading into the dark and her ivory skin glistening in the moonlight, she sat in wait for a "me" that no longer existed.

"Natsuki…"


The day had started with me being thrown out of bed by a red-head that I regret giving my key to every waking moment of my life. I was about to yell at her when she shoved a birthday card and the small blue box I had purchased the other day in my face. I looked at the clock to find that it was only twenty minutes before our meeting and I nearly fell on the way to the bathroom.

"Thanks Mai!" I called over my shoulder, mounting my bike.

"Do you know how much grief I am going to get at my part-time job today for being late?" she shouted, "If you don't make this the best birthday ever for Fujino-san, I swear to God the next time anyone sees you it will be at your funeral!"

It took all my concentration and nearly getting hit by three cars, but I proudly arrived at the apartment and knocked on the door only two minutes late. When it opened I was greeted with the smell of green tea and wine-colored eyes that always seemed to lighten whenever they fell on me.

"Ara? I thought you would be late so I haven't even bothered to get ready yet." Shizuru said with a teasing tone. She laughed when I frowned and pulled me into the spacious apartment. "Make yourself at home and I'll be out in a few minutes." she called, walking into the bathroom.

It seemed that Shizuru was in a good mood today. As of late, she had been trying not to tease me as much, though she still did on a daily basis, just less frequently during those days. I wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that she had confessed. While it was true we did not often talk about it, the fact was still there. Shizuru had always loved me in a way that I could not respond to, but she kept saying she would be fine as long as I didn't leave her. Such love and devotion was something I was very unfamiliar with and I soon began to realize that I craved it.

Could I love Shizuru in that way?

"Natsuki?" I looked up to see the blonde standing over me. She smiled, holding out her hand. "Where should we go today, I wonder." she mused as we walked out to my bike.

"I'll take you anywhere you want to go. It's your birthday, after all." I replied.

She smiled, snuggling more into her scarf. "I don't mind as long as Natsuki is with me."

The day was spent well. We went shopping and visited a new art museum. It seemed like any normal weekend when I spent my days with her, but something was different. The air seemed warmer somehow. Every time she smiled, my heart stuttered a bit. I found myself letting out breaths I hadn't realized I was holding. All the while my chest was warm with an unfamiliar feeling. And when I gave her the present, nothing more than a simple pendant with her name inscribed on the back, the look she gave me was almost too much to bear.

I wanted to see her again.

Now I was sitting on the floor in my apartment. My thoughts were consumed with her and I wondered what this feeling was. At first I thought it could not have possibly been love; it was too soon after all. But as I thought about it, I realized that this feeling had been growing, slowly blooming in the pit of my stomach, since we had first met. Ever since I was little, love had been an alien, scary thing. But ever since I had met Shizuru, though she was weird and a bit annoying, slowly she had taught me how to love.

Before I knew it, I was riding as quickly as I could to her house. I knew that she was having dinner with her parents, but I sat at her door anyway. No matter what I needed to see her. I needed to confirm these feelings. Just one smile would do.

"Natsuki…" I heard that voice, but something was wrong. It seemed alien and, as I turned, I found out why.

My kind, strong-willed, loving Shizuru stood with her clothes torn and her scarf and bag gone, tears streaming down her face.

AN: To all Shizuru fans (gets down on knees and bows) I'M REALLY SORRY! I know it's really, um… disturbing…? But I swear that it gets better. My critique asked how it could get better after she was… attacked as well, but love is on the way! It's depressing, but please stick with it.

R+R please.