"Go away," Kerry barked to a sullen looking Josh.

It was well pass the end of shift but most of the Tactical Response team had made their way home. Or, in Leon's case, migrated to the nearest nightclub. Kerry was hunched over the table in the staffroom with a suspicious looking bottle in a brown bag.
Josh had a sly smile on his lips and said nothing. He retrieved a carton of beer from the croaky old fridge and dropped it on the table loudly. Kerry winced. He popped open a can and Josh sat down across from her. He adjusted himself and slouched in the chair. He looked at her as if challenging her. To what, Kerry didn't know. 'He should know', Kerry thought, 'that I can drink him into a corner'.

With an air of bravado she continued on with her drink and tried to ignore Josh and swore to herself that she would not speak to him. She gulped down the rough liquor, it burning her throat as it went. The room seemed to blur and she sighed. She was drinking at least four times as fast as Josh was, and by the time he had two beers, she was in quite a state.

She glared at him. Josh chuckled.

"I don't want to talk about James," she said icily at Josh, "Leon already tried earlier. I don't need help."

Josh didn't answer. Kerry sighed. She lent her head back and looked at the ceiling. She felt ill and wondered if she kept on drinking if the feeling would go away or it would just make her puke. She looked back to Josh. He seemed concerned.

Anger flared through her. She sat up properly and twitched, ready to speak but he got there first.

"I know what a mother looks like when she's pissed and exasperated at her son," Josh said quietly. "But you're not."

Kerry was confused for a second. She was plenty pissed at James! He made his own bed, and he could sleep in it. There was no way she was going to throw everything away for him. Then she remembered she might have already done so. Kerry glanced back at Josh. He just started on another can.

"Can't you do that at a pub or something?" she snapped.

"This beer's free," he chuckled, "It's Lawson's".

Kerry rolled her eyes. But her resolve steeled. She promised not to be brought into a conversation with the man and she wouldn't be goaded again. They sat in silence for a long time. She grew antsy and just couldn't take it.

"You don't think I'm upset at my son?" she asked.

Josh shook his head. "No, you're upset with Lawson," he said confidently.

She had a strange look on her face for a moment and she thought about this. "For busting the drug house?" she asked.

"For throwing the book at you".

"Ah, but that's Lawson Blake for you," she said bitterly.

"Yeah, he's a bit like that, isn't he?" Josh said. He stood up and poured her a water and placed it on the table in front of her. She eyed it warily.

He dragged his chair closer to her and she lent back into the chair, away from him. Josh was surprisingly close and she just noticed the striking colour of his eyes. She couldn't think like that, not with how drunk she was. But he seemed not to be thinking about some forbidden rendezvous. He seemed thoughtful.

"What are you thinking?", she asked.

"The day we met."

She remembered her first day on the job. Her clash with Lawson, her testing the boundaries with Leon. She remembered Grace. Sweet Grace. And she remembered what Josh did.

"You said you'd get me," he continued. "Still biding your time for the opportune moment?"

Kerry grinned. She never thought about getting rid of Josh since that day. Although a bit of a wild card, she liked his work ethic and his loyalty.

"Back then", he said slowly. "I didn't care about much. I had a job, a roof over my head and a bit of adventure. Drive fast, get the bad guy, lock 'em up. But you always think of the criminals, the arms dealers, the drug traffickers.. you don't consider the normal people who are crazy or maybe just psychotic. Father's are supposed to look after their kids, not try to kill them."

"Josh.." she started.

"I don't regret it. It was impulsive and it was stupid but he deserved what I gave him," Josh closed his eyes. She reached out to him but thought better of it and withdrew her hand.

"What I regret is what I nearly lost. At the time, I didn't really care if I was fired or not. But so many people believed in me, went out on a limb for me, even though they knew I was the reckless kid that I was. Mentors through training, my mates in the force. Lawson. And Grace."
Kerry looked at him carefully. It was an unwritten rule around here not to mention Grace. Especially around Josh. Surprisingly his voice didn't betray any emotion, but there was a flicker in his eyes. She couldn't really identify it, but thought it might be... longing?

"I didn't want anyone to cover for me so I put it in my report. And it's all over. I had my peace that I was going to be suspended and then kicked out on the street. It worried me a bit, because you hear so many people say the only difference between the crims on the street and the coppers chasing them, is just the badge in between them. And then... and then, good old Lawson Blake, Mr. By-the-book, backed me up. I couldn't believe my luck. And then you waltzed in."

She remembered. The hushed tone that screamed at her that Lawson was up to no good and the vision on the screen. Lawson's deer-in-the-headlights look as he asked if she was looking for him and protectively stood in front of the screen. Yes, she knew exactly what was happening that day. But she also knew that if she were to cull a team member on her very first day that her job would be a whole lot harder, so she chose to do nothing. But she made sure he knew about it.

"Lawson gave me a reprieve," Josh interrupted her thoughts. "I was selfish, and I didn't think of anybody else, and he didn't throw the book at me. I was grateful." Josh paused for a while. He looked as if he didn't know what else to say and she was about to get up to clean herself up but Josh interrupted her thoughts.

"Looking after your son isn't selfish. Why'd he throw the book at you?"

Kerry dropped her bottle and it clanged loudly. They both ignored it as it rolled away, splashing the liquor over the floor. She looked into his determined eyes.

He was right.

She'd almost forgotten. Lawson was self-righteous and an annoyingly good, legitimate, by the book cop. But he was known to bend the rules. She exposed her plight to him. Told him about James' problems. He knew the shit storm he would bring down on her head. But he did it anyway. And it made her angry. She was pissed off and she would be damned if Lawson Blake would get the better of her. Her eyes hardened.

Josh was right, but she saw right through the rugged, intense man sitting inches away from her. She knew what he was playing at. She licked her lips.

"Ah, Josh, I didn't know you were so ambitious."

He grinned, and stood up suddenly.

"Well.. I love a good dogfight. Goodnight, Kerry".

She ruffled her hair as he walked away. The man was a goddamn pain in the ass, most of the time, but she liked him.