Author's Note: Some background info to help make a little sense of my story. In my mind Rick and Kate should have gotten together a long time ago, so I am making it that they were married like near the beginning of season 1 time period, so this is taking place in the season 4 time period. Enjoy!

Kate's POV

"I'm sorry Mrs. Castle, but there have been some complications in your pregnancy. You had a miscarriage," I hear the words come out of my doctor's mouth and I can't believe that the same woman who had told me less than a month ago that I was pregnant was now telling me the words I had been dreading since I thought I might have been having a miscarriage last night. The worst part is that Rick doesn't know I am- was pregnant.

Rick has been gone for the past month on his book tour. I was planning on telling him tomorrow once he got home, but how can I tell him that not only was I pregnant, but that I already lost it? I don't think I can face telling him. Dr. Williams goes on telling me some other information, but right now I can't even comprehend what she's saying. I walk out of the office in a daze. Since I had taken the rest of the day off for my appointment, I decide to pick up Ellie from pre-school and spend the day with my daughter, so that I don't continue mourning the child I lost.

"Mommy!" Ellie runs towards me once she sees me. I pick her up and hold her close as I sign her out.

"Mrs. Castle, you're here early." Kristy, Ellie's pre-school teacher, says to me with a smile.

"I got the afternoon off, so I thought I would spend it with my favorite little girl," I say with a soft smile, since it hurt to too much smile knowing that I lost Ellie's brother or sister.

"Well have a nice afternoon and I'll see you tomorrow Ellie." Ellie waves good bye as we walk out of the building. We drive to the park that is near our house and I watch Ellie run around the playground, her brunette curls trying to keep up with her as her blue eyes search the world trying to learn everything she could. I'm mesmerized by Ellie every day, but today more than most. She is a happy child and I know she would have been a wonderful big sister.

I feel my phone going off in my pocket and I pick up, not checking the id. "Castle."

"Why yes it is," I hear my husband on the other end, and I can almost picture the smile on his face. I feel my mind freezing over as I don't know what to say to him. "Kate…? You there?"

"Um… yeah, sorry."

"Is everything alright Kate?" From his worried tone I know that it would be harder to tell him the truth.

"Yeah, the uh case we just finished was tough." I lie, trying to keep him from worrying until I can figure out how to tell him.

"Are you outside Kate?"

"Yeah, after we finished, I picked up Ellie. I needed to see some smiles from her."

"Well I wish I was there Kate. I miss you."

"I miss you too Rick." I say feeling bad that I wasn't telling him the truth, but I didn't know how to tell him about the miscarriage or if I even should.

"I have to get going, but I love you and I'll see you when I get home ok?"

"Ok, love you too." I say and after I hang up with Rick, Ellie comes running over to me.

"Mommy when is Daddy getting home?"

"He comes home tomorrow Ellie remember?" I say smiling at her so she didn't worry.

"Oh ok." She flashes her smile at me.

"Let's go home Ellie, ok honey?"

"Ok Mommy!" Ellie and I get in my car and drive towards home while she tells me all about her newest best friend at pre-school. We pull up to our condo and park in the garage. I hold her hand as she skips for the duration of the walk to the elevator. Once inside our house, Ellie runs off to her room to play with her dolls. I force myself into the kitchen to start cooking dinner for her and decide to make the box of mac and cheese that was in the pantry as I wanted to make something easy for dinner. Ellie ate her dinner and then got ready for bed with little complaints since she had worn her four year old body down while we had been at the park. By 8 o'clock she was fast asleep in her bed after reading her favorite book, Love You Forever. Without having to keep up any masks or having to hide what I was feeling, I let the tears run from my eyes. I cry for the child I lost and I feel empty, reminding me of the other times I have felt empty. I sob, thinking of my child and my mom. Two people, lost from my life forever. With tears still running down my face, I walk to my closet and grab one of Rick's shirts and a pair of my sleep shorts, before lying down and crying myself to sleep.

Rick's POV

I open the door softly as Ellie is most likely asleep and I am guessing that Kate went to bed already based on the dark house. I leave my suitcase sitting by the door, since I won't deal with it until tomorrow. I walk past Ellie's room and see her sound asleep on her pink toddler bed. I smile at seeing the innocence of Ellie's sleeping face as I walk towards Kate and my room. Though I enjoy meeting my fans and signing books on my book tours, I hate being away from Kate and Ellie just as much as I hated being away from Alexis when she was younger. When I walk into our room, I see Kate asleep on our bed and all I want to do is climb into bed and hold her in my arms, especially since it seemed like she was having a rough day when I talked to her on the phone. I change into shorts and a t-shirt and climb into bed and wrap my arms around Kate. In her sleep, she moves herself closer to me and I kiss her lightly on the forehead before slowly settling into a deep sleep that I could have probably stayed in had I not felt Kate tossing in my arms due to a nightmare. I groggily open my eyes and see her face covered with sweat and her mumbling in her sleep. "Stop please!" She pleads softly. "Don't leave me. Please!"

"Kate. You're having a nightmare," I try to wake her up. Her eyes pop open at the sound of my voice.

"Rick…?" she calls out softly, turning in my arms until we were looking in each other's eyes. "What- What are you doing home?" She says with tears in her eyes, most likely from her nightmare.

"You sounded miserable on the phone and there was no real reason for staying away one more day and I missed you and Ellie so much so I switched my ticket for tonight." I look at her and I want to understand what is causing her so much pain. "Want to talk about your nightmare?" She looks at me and shakes her head.

"I just want to be with you." She says before moving closer to me, so she can lay her head on my chest and I wrap my arms tightly around her.

"I love you Kate."

"I love you too Rick."