StarsOfYaoi: This shot has been written for Esoteric_Memory as Secret Santa in the LifeJournal community KHR Exchange. I was allowed to post it around the net by her.
Particular request for the shot was, bloody, violent and 59's genius present.
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Rating: R
Summary: (1859) He just wanted to survive. This wish spurred him on. Even though he was the responsible for the failure of his mission, he still wanted to live.
Warnings: shounen–ai, vague spoilers, post TYL arc, some years after canon timeline, blood, gorey, violent.
Disclaimer: I don't own Reborn, it belongs to Akira–sama.
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Burn
~L'unico stile di vita che certe persone seguono è quello della violenza ~ Anonimo.
~The only lifestyle certain people follow is that of violence ~ Anonymous.
Everything was silent around him.
The acrid smell of gunpowder clouded his senses, making it hard for him to breathe, and yet he refused to cough, knowing that anything short his ragged gasping would alert of his presence, and cursed lowly.
His teeth unconsciously tightened on his cigarette, the smoke shifting upwards in spiralling waves, the bad taste of tobacco keeping his mind occupied away from the even worse taste of blood.
Angry –furious, rage bubbling right underneath his apparent calm, Gokudera remained glued to the half–crumbled wall, eyes darting everywhere, one hand clutching at his side, where the crimson stain kept growing bigger.
It had all gone wrong –it took months of preparation for this plan, carefully weighting each option, listening to Juudaime's words of insecurity and fear, countering all of them with his cockiness and determination… and now there he was, bloody, almost in the clutches of the enemy.
What a stupid he was.
The pain from his side was slowly numbing his right hand, making it hard to keep his grasp on the small, gum–shaped bomb he was holding, covered in blood but still intact, unlike all his others, all the bombs he'd lost just to gain a hour at the most.
Gokudera hissed, refusing to show any weakness, not even to himself, and once again looked around, trying in vain to catch a glimpse of something –anything– that could help him come out of that situation.
It was bad, really bad.
Tsuna had known it all beforehand, his Juudaime was always right, and Gokudera couldn't but feel he'd failed his boss once again. No matter how many years passed by, he was still the same brassy kid from before, who couldn't even complete a mission.
Not even if he'd been the one to device the whole plan.
'Stupid!' Gokudera's hand twitched and to stop the trembling he bit down on it, glad he was still able to feel something in his fingers. 'How could it happen… I was sure I had everything perfected to the last detail…'
And yet, his perfection, his plans, had gone awry. What had looked the perfect plan to take down one of Vongola's rival families, the Famiglia Delfino, had turned into a massacre. Gokudera, who had been the leader of Group A, and had directed the charge through the secret underground passage, had soon found out that the Delfino knew exactly of their attack and had been waiting for them.
Group B and D had been completely exterminated, coldly shot without even a chance to hide or duck the moment they had appeared at the wall surrounding the compound, and Group C, whose head was Hibari, had long since stopped sending signals to Gokudera's transceiver.
Not that he believed Hibari to be dead. Dead and Hibari belonged to the same sentence only if the man was the dealer, not the receiver… besides, he didn't want to think about that fucking guy at the present moment.
And yet, Gokudera was still (mildly, of course, mildly) worried –because with this single attack he'd decimated the Juudaime's forces. He might as well be the only one alive, or the only one remaining inside.
He had the crude truth in front of him even then, as he looked around, the bodies of his once comrades, people he had come to know, people that had trusted him… –his family– they were all dead.
Unmoving all around him, where they had died in order to protect him. So that he could finish his mission.
'And it's all my fault for underestimating the enemy once again… Juudaime… I'm sorry…' he gritted his teeth knowing he was only losing time by whining and crying over himself, but the situation was desperate. Of his whole group, he was the only one left, and he was severely injured, which made it even more hopeless to try and run.
And yet…
'It's not like I can give up' he thought, shaking his head to clear it from the haze the loss of blood caused. 'I've got to go back to my boss… and be mauled by him for causing this shit to happen –it's no good if I die here!'
Quickly he assessed the situation again, trying to be sure of it –the area he was in was wide, a sort of warehouse next to the main building, bare with the exception of the crumbled wall he was using as a shield, some wooden boxes on the other end, and some broken ropes right besides him.
He knew there were snipers hiding somewhere on the other end of the collapsed wall, the same snipers that had killed all his comrades, but they would not move from their positions. They were safe there, a hit–and–hide tactic instead of dirtying their hands in close combat, but they were keeping away because Gokudera had also managed to kill a few with his bombs, in retaliation for the spitfire.
That was it –he couldn't move because if he did, the snipers would shoot, and he had nothing to protect himself with anymore… just his last bomb, and his brain.
Wasn't there a way out?
His eyes flickered to the bodies around him, flinching inwardly both at the guilt and at the thoughts mulling around in his mind, but there wasn't really another option, was there? He had to live. He wanted to live… didn't someone once say 'humans would do anything in order to survive'?
More blood started seeping out of his wound as he stood up, bomb clenched in one hand, eyes resolutely staring forwards, knowing he'd have no time to lose if he wanted to get out. His wound was making him dizzy and cold, and he knew he wouldn't resist much more in these conditions.
And yet, he could not just run away with a bang and hope everything would be fine –he had to finish his the mission, or the deaths of all his men would forever weight on his heart. He was only twenty and he'd seen so much death he should have been used to it… and yet it always managed to get to him.
"I'm sorry" he rasped at one of the corpses, as he pulled it close to himself, trying not to cringe as dilated, empty pupils turned to stare at him; quickly he took the man's jacket away and ripped it in shreds, winding them around his midsection in order to stop the blood; they were quickly covered with blood, but the pressure was steady and helped him calm down. Then Gokudera, with all the energy he had left, managed to push the man's motionless body upwards, so that it leaned on the wall as well.
It barely stood there, awkwardly slumped backwards, but it was enough. Grabbing one of the broken ropes at his feet, the silver haired mafioso tied one end around the dead man's wrist, fighting against the corpse's stiffening muscles as he shifted the arm upwards.
Apparently he'd been standing there for more than a hour, since the rigor mortis was already starting to stiffen the man's body. Cringing more at his analytical part coming out, Gokudera tried to ignore that it was someone he once knew he was using, and gulped down his suddenly dry throat.
Then, he pressed his bomb in the corpse's hand, not tight enough that it wouldn't move but enough so it wouldn't fall.
Fighting away tears that were burning in his eyes, Gokudera bit hard on his lip, knowing what he had to do.
"I am sorry… really sorry" he muttered again.
Then he shifted away from the man, one hand on the wall to keep his wavering body upright, and put distance between himself and him, holding the other end of the rope as he clumsily moved.
The crumbled wall only allowed him a couple of meters before it ended, but it would be enough –if his plan worked, he would be able to make it to the main building, and with a bit of luck he would be able to use his map to the vault where the Delfino kept their documents.
With them in Juudaime's possession they would be able to stop Delfino's drug dealings and their underground racket, and end the family's threat would finally be gone.
He owed this to all the men he'd sent to their deaths.
Slowly he tied another part of the rope to the remaining corner of the wall, where it connected with the stacks of wooden boxes that reached the ceiling. This was the best he could do at a moment's notice, and he hoped it would be enough.
Closing his eyes, he laid down on the ground, shifting so slightly until he was out in the open, among the corpses of his men and away from both his bomb and the boxes, and carefully controlled his breathing. This was his only chance to come out of this situation and he could not ruin it.
He pulled on the rope, bracing himself for the explosion that would come.
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Hibari knew instantly that something bad had happened when his team entered the main building, immediately separating from Gokudera's; they had fallen into a trap, and to know his enemy had underestimated him enough to think he'd fall for that was enough to made him in need to seek for blood.
No mattered how many years went by, his methods would never change –when the attack had started, decimating the Vongola Decimo's troops meticulously, instantly killing both Group B and D, Hibari had extracted his Tonfa and proceeded sating his bloodlust.
Even though four years had passed since his fateful encounter with the Vongola family, Hibari had never, not even once, wandered away from his weapons of choice; guns were not for him, as they didn't satiate his desire to hit and break bones. Besides, he'd never been defeated, so it showed his skills.
Uncaring about how his transceiver had broken during a one–on–one fight, Hibari kept moving forwards, knowing the only way to turn this failure into a victory would be to reach the vault and take the documents hidden there.
He had no way to know where the vault was, of course –the map he'd been given by that herbivore bomb–lover had long since been lost– but it didn't matter… he would probably take down all the mansion to get there anyway.
He wouldn't even be there had it not been for the baby's personal request –Reborn had known something was up, and to quench Tsuna's fears about the attack he'd asked Hibari to lead one of the teams.
"Hibari–sama!" one of the men under his leadership appeared from behind a corner, slightly panicked. "We've managed to establish a connection with the headquarters –it looks like there was an infiltrate in our spy ranks that informed the enemy of our plans!"
It looked like the baby had been right, as usual –someone had tricked them, feeding their spies with wrong information so the attack would take place. There was a bug in the Vongola and Hibari swore he'd find him and take it out with them the moment he was back.
Hadn't it been for that bug, the herbivore's plan would have been completed without faults, but the other man would have never thought the Vongola's spying threads to be flawed, and that brought this slaughter.
The Ex–Disciplinary Committee's leader shook his head –the guy was probably angstying over his failure to his 'boss' somewhere.
Not that Hibari cared for what Gokudera thought, but for a herbivore, the man could use his brain well, and in the last few years he had managed a grudgingly truce with the man –if bad mouthing him, using him and fucking him through walls counted as truce… the latest one being the one to happen the most, of course.
Gokudera hadn't been quite as accepting with that one as he had with the previous, but he'd been quickly reduced to non–coherence, and from there onwards, had never protested –imuch/i– at being assaulted before, after and often during missions.
The herbivore bomber might be loud and noisy, but after all it wasn't that bad if he was loud in bed, too.
Hibari's lips twitched upwards in a smirk so cold the man in front of him shuddered, backing away from him and his sudden waves of bloodlust.
"Let's move to the vaults" he stated, straightening up and holding his Tonfa in both hands. "We've got a work to do here, do we not?"
The quicker they got out, the quicker he could get back to doing the other man. Or sneering at Tsuna. Or trying to get the baby to fight him, whichever came first.
Preferably the first. It had been already almost a week since he tasted him, after all.
Moving towards the vaults (or the random direction he chose, breaking down walls and drawing out all the men in the compound to come and have a piece of him), Hibari had enough satisfaction by the time he demolished the last wall, finally finding himself in the vault, that had been strategically placed behind a fake double stone wall.
Hibari kicked one of the Delfino's thugs inside, knowing not to enter it first in case any traps had been placed there, and was rewarded by yells of pain coming from within. Nodding in satisfaction, he motioned for his inferiors, who entered the room to get all the documents out.
All in all, Hibari was left unsatisfied. It had been quite boring, despite the trap.
"Hibari–sama, we should search if someone of ours is still alive" one of his subordinates came to him, hesitant.
The dark haired man was about to answer that with his tonfa when a sudden noise alerted his senses; turning towards the closest window, he noticed smoke raising from a nearby building, where he'd been reported Gokudera's group was, and his face twisted into a displeased grimace.
"What did that idiot do, now?" he murmured, shaking his head.
And yet, he turned around and moved away from his men, who watched him with half unsure, half scared eyes.
"Retrieve the documents and leave as quickly as possible though the passage" he stated, daring them to go against his orders. "The Vongola headquarters will cover you to the best of their possibilities".
That said, he overstepped the pile of dead or unconscious bodies of his enemies around him and disappeared behind the corner.
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Gokudera panted in strain as he continued his slow advancing towards the main compound, wondering just how powerful was that last bomb he used; the explosion had sent pieces of wall and bricks flying towards him and even though he had been laying down, some had managed to hit him, thus aggravating his wound, but it had done its purpose.
The explosion had set the rope on fire right on the stack of wooden boxes, creating an arson that had instantaneously attracted the snipers' attention; some had started shooting at where the wall had been but Gokudera's work had been flawless –the body with the bomb in one hand was out in the open, completely burned out from the explosion, and it would look like he'd decided to commit suicide instead of being killed by his enemies.
The arson was also filling the room with thick grey smoke, and it would choke the men, making them run from the building in order to escape. At the same time, since he was on the floor, he would be able to sneak away without breathing too much smoke himself, and exit the warehouse.
This had been his only hope out, even if he had to sacrifice his men's bodies for that –and the guilt was still gnawing at him from the inside.
Coughing harshly, and feeling blood pool at the side of his mouth, Gokudera hissed in anger, but continued sliding away from the quickly burning warehouse, finally exiting from one of the doors, gasping as fresh, clear air filled his hurting lungs.
The wind against his heated skin felt deliciously good, and for the first time in hours, Gokudera could finally breathe without the disgusting smell of blood and gun powder. He let his arms fall at his sides, simply enjoying the moment, then he wobbly stood up, his vision unfocused and blurry.
He had yet to find the documents, and he needed to complete the mission…
All the people that had died today, just because of his mistakes…
And as an afterthought, he wanted to know if that bastard Hibari was still alive, after all. It would be nice to know. It didn't matter if the man was fucking stronger than him, and hated his guts (unless he was busy screwing him), he still had to wonder.
Maybe even worry?
He barely noticed his legs giving up, and when he fell face down on the ground he didn't even feel it –then everything turned black with pain and nothingness.
On the other end of the now burning building, Hibari walked steadily inside, uncaring for the burning flames.
Some men with automatic rifles (must have been snipers) had apparently left their places to move down and check the cause for that ruckus, which came clear to Hibari's eyes the moment he saw the many corpses around, mostly still recognizable, of Gokudera's group.
His eyes narrowing down, Hibari nodded to himself, knowing that he'd been the only one to come out pretty much unscathed by the trap, whilst all the other teams had been…
Hibari's trail of thoughts stopped as his eyes rested on an almost completely burned body, unrecognizable, a few feet away.
Differently from the others, this one had clearly received the explosion head on, from a bomb nonetheless.
"Gokudera" he hissed.
And suddenly, he was angry. Really, really angry. His eyes narrowed into slits, hands clenching around his tonfa. 'That… idiot herbivore… he wouldn't…'
Of course it wouldn't be possible. That fucking damned idiot. He would never do something like this. Never. Hibari wouldn't allow him to throw his life away like this when he knew better –when he should know his life belonged to him.
A soft, deep growl erupted from his lips, as he felt the need to just kill, maim and have blood run.
"Gokudera… you wouldn't dare" his growl was much like that of a ferocious predator, filled with malice.
His words attracted the snipers' attention and they pointed their rifles at him, yelling; Hibari turned furious eyes towards them, and then he attacked, with no warning at all.
It was nothing short of brutal –quick, violent and bloody.
The four snipers fell on the ground, unconscious and heavily injured, and Hibari slammed his foot down on one of them, gaining some sort of satisfaction from the clear crack that resounded from the arm he'd just broken.
He did not stop. He moved to the next man, slamming the tip of his left tonfa right on the man's hand, breaking through the skin and sending blood splashing everywhere, then to the third of the snipers, kicking him in the stomach until the man passed out from the pain.
Growling deeply in his throat, Hibari stomped over to the burned corpse, blinded by anger, wanting nothing more than kick the dead body until he was sated, but slowly calmed down at the sight; he'd mapped that idiot bomber's body enough times to be able to recognize it, and looking closely, this was not Gokudera.
This was the body of an older man, for starters, too broad shoulders.
This was not Gokudera.
Not him.
Something inside him twisted.
"I'm going to pound him until he cannot stand anymore" he hissed, gritting his teeth and ignoring the smoke around him.
The nerve of him. To fake his death this way.
Staring down at the burned corpse, he then noticed there was a trail of fresh blood on the floor, further from the wall, and it continued deep into the clouds of smoke. A feral smirk appeared on his lips as he moved to follow the traces, eyes betraying the anger he felt.
It took nothing to exit the warehouse the same way as Gokudera had, and took him even less to find the battered, bloodied and much unconscious body of the bomber some meters away from the building.
It took him quite a bit more to keep calm and not attack the wounded silver haired man with his tonfa, though. It would have been a bitch to heal otherwise.
"Well, good to see you're still alive though" he muttered, grabbing the unresponsive body and placing it over his shoulder, minding the still bleeding wound. "So I will be the one to kill you when you're healed".
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"Admit it, Kyouya" Gokudera sounded pretty smug, despite the pale skin, the stitches on his face and the bandages around his midsection, that prevented him even from sitting up on the bed (that was why he was propped up on four pillows). "You were worried".
Hibari twitched on his seat, hands curling around his tonfa, but refused to allow the silver haired young man to bother him. Shamal, the doctor of the Vongola, had clearly stated Gokudera was not to be moved for at least a week from the headquarters' infirmary, until his stitches were healed enough, and he would have to stay in bed for at least another two weeks to recover from the operation.
In front of everyone the darned mafioso had looked almost fine, if only begging his forgiveness to his Juudaime and saying he was perfectly ok, but…
Hibari could clearly see that, underneath the cocky exterior of that idiotic bomber, he was quite weak and still angry with himself over the mission (even though in the end the documents had been successfully acquired), and his voice lacked his usual colour.
Hibari shouldn't have cared about this, and he shouldn't have been able to notice in the first place, and yet he did, and that angered him even more.
That fucking stupid herbivore had to angst over all the lives that were lost even after Tsuna, the fucking laughing swordsman and the baby repeatedly told him it was not his fault, and Hibari wanted nothing more than ram the truth through his skull, who cared if he was still recovering…
And yet he found he couldn't.
This side of Gokudera was despicable. He didn't like it. He despised it. He wasn't owning this herbivore to see him this weak.
The fact that he also used his name when they were alone made him even more angered.
He just wanted to bite it all out of him.
Especially because the fucking bomber was right. For that single moment when he'd seen the burned body and thought it was… him… he had indeed wavered.
Probably that was the reason he wanted to fucking kill him.
Gokudera frowned; he had expected one of the usual insults from the other man, something like 'shut up, herbivore' or at least a meaningful threat… and yet Hibari simply glared at him –he made him feel a bit anxious.
He surely didn't expect Hibari to truly care, after all. They were merely Guardians for the Vongola Tenth, and occasionally shared the same bed (more than occasionally, in fact, but still).
It would scare him shitless if the Cloud Guardian were to admit he really cared.
Emotions… hah. Right.
The silver haired Mafioso growled, missing his cigarettes already… they calmed him down, but Shamal had taken them away, muttering about how disgusted he was to treat a male patient, especially one whose mouth reeked of smoke.
He breathed deeply, willing his nervousness to go away. He didn't want to cause any more problems as it was –spy or not spy, he had sent many to death. It was enough without having to worry Juudaime…
It was enough without having to look at Hibari and know the Cloud Guardian's team had reached the headquarters safely and without a scratch, whilst his own… ad Group B and D…
"Err… Kyouya… I was just kidding… anyway, you have better things to do than staying here, so you should… maybe… go…?" Gokudera's voice, that had started out carefree, wavered in insecurity as Hibari's eyes narrowed at him, fury so clear in them it made Gokudera shiver. Sometimes, Hibari did look vaguely emotional, and it made him both glad they were on the same side, and afraid of him.
"Stop. Now" Hibari hissed, slamming one of his tonfa right next to Gokudera's face, making a dent in the wall.
Gokudera froze, finding himself unable to look away from the dark orbs that were staring at him so deeply it felt they were looking inside him.
"Fucking herbivore" Hibari muttered. "Stop this farce –you're too much of an idiot to take the blame for this and it makes me want to kick your dumb ass. You are worrying everyone, especially the idiot herbivore swordsman and shrimp boss".
And though the words were biting, the injured man was left baffled by his –surprisingly nice…? Where was the world going to?– tone, and the meaning behind them. Gokudera could not stop blaming himself, but it felt… nice to know others were not blaming him. That he was still trusted, despite everything.
Satisfied about his comment, Hibari moved forwards to kiss him.
Gokudera gasped out loud, not expecting that, and feeling Hibari's tongue use his gasp as an opportunity to sneak in his mouth, ravaging him slowly but surely, made his toes curl at the sensation.
Gokudera groaned, knowing they would never be able to do anything else due to his wounds, and yet glad for that –the Cloud Guardian was acting quite calmly all considered, he was making sure not to touch any of his wounds.
The silver haired bomb user didn't understand. Hibari just acted as if he'd been worried too. As if he'd feared for his life at least. Or his safety.
Was that even possible? For Hibari to actually…
'Maybe… I was right, in the end?' Gokudera blinked, warmth strangely filling him at that thought, 'Kyouya does ca–' then pain filled his mouth.
"Youch! Damn you Kyouya! You fucking bit my tongue!"
"Tch. Damn herbivore".
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Owari
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StarsOfYaoi: I hope you all liked it. :) please do comment and let me know?
As a side sad note, I still haven't received my secret santa… siiigh. :(
