Notes: takes place at some point before the Aogiri arc. for all intents and purposes it also occurs after my other fic "Sweet," but i didn't want to ruin the nice innocent one-shotness of it, so this is its own separate thing. shrug shrug. ...Hope you enjoy! (◡‿◡✿)
Saccharine
The taste of him stays long after they depart — drops into the pit of her belly, saturates every vein. As she pours foam into a cup, Kaneki enters and her hand twitches, and suddenly the rabbit she's forming has a much larger forehead than can reasonably called cute. She grimaces.
"Good morning, Touka-chan," Kaneki says, sounding pretty normal, and Touka sighs.
"Yeah. Morning." She pokes at the rabbit's head, trying to press it down. Kaneki must sense something off because he peers over the counter, tilts his head.
"It sucks," she sighs.
"It doesn't! It's great. Look." He grabs a spoon and uses the end of it to tease the darker-hued foam across the rabbit's face.
"Tada," he says, lifting the spoon away with a flourish.
"What the hell? What did you do?" She rotates the cup, eyes narrow.
"Oh, sorry, I thought...um, I guess it isn't obvious. It's, uh, you."
"Me?"
"Yeah, it's supposed to be your..." He reaches toward her — then stops, his hand hovering in front of the hair that falls over her eye. As she stares, his fingers curl and then drop to his side.
"Your bangs," he concludes.
Her mouth purses. She looks down at the rabbit.
"Latte!" she announces, so loudly Kaneki winces. When the customer comes up to retrieve her drink, Touka slides it toward her and asks, "Hey. Do you think this looks like me?"
The woman looks down at the cup — then at her — then back, and forth again. "There is something of a resemblance," she says, smiling, and Kaneki laughs.
"See? Told you!" he says, and Touka frowns as she lets the woman take the cup back to her table, fighting the urge to keep it for herself and make the woman a new one.
"Yeah, yeah. Focus on improving your own latte art," Touka mutters, feigning annoyance, and when Kaneki comes behind the counter, she shoves him playfully with her shoulder.
"Oof." He glances over at her, and their eyes meet, stop, stick. She purses her lips, moistens them.
Lean in, she thinks. Or wait — let him lean in?
He turns away. Her lips thin even tighter and she turns back to the espresso machine.
Stupid Kaneki.
They had left off with strange airs the other day. She tightens her fist, still feeling in her palms the sharp bite of gravel, and the harsh drum of his pulse.
:::
She kisses him and he leans in toward her, stealing her breath, filling her with warmth. Her wing flares in time with her quickening pulse, sputtering crimson and violet and gold against the ground. He pushes against her and she pulls him toward her and her back presses into a column.
The strange thing that's been lying coiled up in the pit of her belly begins to unwind, and seep, and take control of her muscles. She spreads her legs, knees bent, ignoring the protests of the one she banged against the ground. It allows her to drag him closer, closer, and she feels him gasp against her mouth as he loses balance, as his weight settles a little too hard against her. She flicks her tongue against his parted lips, oh, they're so tender, she slides her tongue between his teeth, searching for his, and when she finds it, all warm and soft, she can't help a happy sigh.
This is it, this is what she's been wanting — right? She pauses just a moment, savoring Kaneki's saliva in her mouth, the incredible latte foam softness of his kiss. Until that moment she can believe this is all she wanted, all her hunger wanted. But rather than quelling, it roars even louder in her ears.
She meets his eyes, watching her with unbelievable focus, the same knife-sharp concentration in the chapel that had cut straight into her heart. For the first time, her mind had gone side-by-side with his; she'd met him somewhere where he wasn't the apprehensive, apologetic Kaneki that she was usually rolling her eyes at. She had met him somewhere beyond himself and she had felt herself rising far away from her usual self too, into something better. For the first time felt like she could fly.
There! That! Her hunger sings in her veins. That's it, that's what I want, that's what I want, I want that, I want, I —
"Kaneki," she sighs, and, as naturally as in the chapel, she raises her fingers to the edge of his shirt, pushes it up and off his skin —
And he freezes.
"What?" she gasps, and he straightens, away from her. He turns, hand on his face. The ink of his eye is retreating back to his iris.
"Let me help you up," he says, holding out a hand. Her hunger is so swollen that it shoves out any thoughts she might use to form arguments, or questions, or pleads. Finally, at loss, she takes his hand, and when he heaves her up, the moment has passed. Her wing fades; her RC cells are depleted, and there's no more excuse to practice.
He asks her a question about Hinami as they continue walking her home, and she answers, and they go on like that all the way back.
:::
The following days are punctuated with countless moments of strangeness — times when their arms brushing ruins conversation, when something he says makes her burst out in laughter that's startling in both its sincerity and volume. Sometimes when he glances over at her they're both surprised to realize she's been staring at him.
"Onee-chan? Are you alright?" Hinami asks tentatively, and Touka shoves the fridge door shut and says, "Yeah. Why?"
"It's just...that's the third time you've opened the fridge," she says. "And there's still nothing in it. Should we...visit Anteiku and get more...?"
"No," Touka sighs, "I'm fine."
"You're really looking down," Nishio remarks later that day at the Anteiku counter, and she lifts her head to level a single-eyed glare at him. It's the first time she's seen him since the chapel and behind him she can see the human she spared, setting her bags down beneath a table.
"What do you want?" she asks flatly. She means What are you doing here, but he doesn't bite.
"An americano," he says, "and a mocha. For her."
"Obviously it's for her." Touka glances over his shoulder and the human raises her hand to wave brightly, bracelets glinting.
Kaneki is in the back so she makes the drinks herself, starting with the mocha. Nishio watches her do it.
"Hey," he says, squinting over the counter, "what's that? Is that the — the cho-co-late?"
"It's a mocha, so yeah, this is the chocolate syrup."
"Is that all you're gonna put in there? Use some more."
"More? How much more?"
"How should I know?" he snaps in annoyance. "Kimi just said she likes that stuff."
"Kimi? Oh, the human."
"Nishino Kimi. My girlfriend."
"Nishino? Really?" she mutters as she hammers the syrup head down a couple more times. "Nishiki Nishio and Nishino Kimi? Nishi, nishi, nishi. Who else would match with you? Now I know why you wanted so bad to save her."
"Whatever." He adjusts his glasses and raps his fingers on the counter.
"Anyway," he huffs, "speaking of saving her. I'm actually here to thank you for not killing her, I guess."
Touka rolls her eyes. "Did she tell you to do that?"
"No," he says sharply. "She doesn't believe you would have really done it."
Her eyes so wide, and red as they reflected the bursts of her wing.
"How beautiful."
Touka looks back again at the human, who is sitting at the table, watching the two of them. She smiles at Touka and pushes her hair behind her ears. She looks like any other girl. Certainly not one that can destroy everything Touka knows and holds dear with a single slipped word.
"How beautiful."
"I don't think she was just trying to save herself," Kaneki had said afterward.
Then what, Kaneki? What do you think? Do you also think that I…?
Touka sighs. "Well, I might have left her alone, but good luck keeping someone like that safe from other ghouls. She's just inviting trouble."
Nishio snorts. "Look who's talking."
Touka bristles. "What do you mean?"
"Come on, Touka. The only reason Kimi got wrapped into all of this was because of Kaneki."
"That's not true," Touka snaps, and Nishio grins.
Dammit, she hisses at herself. He knows he's hit a nerve. He leans in, voice low.
"You think Kimi's the troublesome one? Who's the one who sparked that Gourmet's interest in the first place? If Kaneki wasn't here, we would have been just fine."
This time she knows better than to respond. But there's a cool aggression to the way she shakes the can of whipped cream, and the white mountain that she spirals onto Kimi's mocha is spiked threateningly.
"He must have tasted really good for that Gourmet to be so obsessed," Nishio continues. "How long until someone else comes for that half-human?"
The sight of her father's retreating back.
The uneven weight of Ayato on her back, legs swinging limply at either side, his shoes scraping her legs with mud as she carries him.
Touka feels her chest constrict and makes herself take a deep breath.
"Doesn't matter," she hears herself say as she fiddles with the machine to make it pour out an americano. "In case you haven't noticed, Kaneki is becoming pretty good at defending himself."
"Oh, yeah. The great Touka-sama has been teaching him, after all. By the way, Touka-sama, does a half-human taste as good as a whole one?"
"Don't bother wondering about it. It's something you'll never know so long as I'm alive," she tells him coldly.
"Oh, don't worry about me coming after him. I don't have any interest in the taste of a half-human like that," he says. And then, he glances back toward Kimi.
Wait — why? Why did he look back at her? Touka stares, aghast, and the americano almost overflows. He isn't…he isn't possibly…
"Nishio, you —"
"Hmm? What?"
"Y-you're — you're not possibly eating your own —?"
"My own...?" And then the color flees his face. "You can't be asking if I'm actually — to Kimi, of all — of course I'm not — I wouldn't even consider — Touka, what the hell?"
Now she feels foolish. "Well, how the hell am I supposed to know?! You looked back at her, what else could you mean?"
The drinks are finished. Touka hands them over but Nishio's disgust has faded away into a wicked humor, and he's laughing too hard to take his order away.
"Y-you — you really don't know what I mean, do you?" He's lifting up his glasses to wipe the tears from his eyes.
"Know what?" Touka demands.
"Ah, my bad, my bad, I just assumed I guess, that you and Kaneki...after how he let you bite him..."
"What did you assume?"
"Who knew that high-and-mighty Touka-sama was so innocent?"
"If you don't tell me, I'm going to throw these drinks in your face! See if Nishinishi over there still likes chocolate then!"
"Don't worry, little Touka-chama, I'll tell you. Let's...let's just say that there's lots of ways to eat humans. And," he adds, bending to whisper close to her ear, "if you do it the right way...humans love being eaten."
If Touka was aghast before, it's nothing compared to the chilly horror that crawls down her spine at Nishio's triumphant, lecherous smirk. He jams his glasses back onto his face and takes the drinks, one plate per hand.
"I was going to tell Kaneki my thanks for helping Kimi too," he says, "but something tells me that you'll be able to pass it along for me later, right?"
She's too stunned to come up with anything witty before Nishio joins Kimi at the table.
"Touka-chan?" she hears behind her. "Is everything alright out here? It didn't get busy all of a sudden, did it?"
As Kaneki reemerges, wiping his hands on a towel, she winces, then shudders. There are no breezes but the smell of him, strong and too-cozy, reaches her unavoidably, and seems to fill the whole room. If Touka was horrified before, it's nothing compared to how appalled she is when the glacier sliding down her spine suddenly fractures into a fuzzy heat that reaches all the way to her fingertips and toes. She makes herself look at him and can feel her whole body is red.
"If you do it the right way...humans love being eaten."
Kaneki smiles uncertainly. "Something the matter?"
"N-nothing! Totally nothing!"
He purses his lips. He moves closer. Touka swallows.
"Hey, Kaneki," she blurts. "Maybe later — would you like to —"
She's cut off by a shriek. Both of their heads spin toward the origin of the sound. It's Kimi, who has just spat out her drink, and quick as anything Kaneki has a moist towel and extra napkins and is heading towards her.
"It's alright, he assures her, "please don't worry, it's fine —"
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Kimi gasps, wiping her mouth. "It was — it was just so — sweet!"
Touka grumbles and starts to make her another.
