He was beautiful and smart and talented and – well … everything. He was perfection incarnate and I loved him.

If I'm being honest, I have no idea what I'm doing as I trail after him, ducking behind vending machines and building corners. I know what he thinks of me, I know he's a little scared of his stalker but I really don't know what else to do. I want to admire him from afar because I know deep down that I'm never going to get to be with him. I'm not good enough. I'm unworthy.

I'm just creepy old "Sadako".

A model would never lower himself to "Sadako" standards and I accept that. So I want to at least watch him. Since I'll never get anything more.

Maybe I'm just selfish?

Sometimes I think amongst his other talents he's also got a sixth sense because he suddenly stops and turns to look right at me. I freeze up mid step, my mind goes blank and I feel my cheeks heat up under his intense gaze. Thank god my hair is covering my face …

After what feels like an eternity my body jerks into gear and I fly behind a nearby garbage can, falling into a crouch so I'm perfectly hidden. For a moment I wonder how he'd known I was trailing him … then I peak out only to see his back almost a whole block away as he runs off.

Without thinking I start to run after him. All I want to do is see him, watch his beautiful face through the day so why? I'm not going to hurt him, I'd give my life to protect him so why!

I'm so focused on the why, why this is all turning out so horribly that I don't have the time to catch myself when I trip over what feels like my own feet and I tumble straight onto the pavement. For a moment I'm stunned, just laying there on the sidewalk. It hurts … and I can't help but feel the humiliation of falling in his presence. Even if he wasn't looking … With a whimper I push myself up, noting that my white dress is a bit torn in places and now dirty. This is just great. I can't be around him looking like this!

Feeling dejected I stand up. Turn. And begin trudging home. I don't care when people look at me strangely or point and laugh. All I care about is him. And what he's doing now …

When I finally get home the first thing I do is head straight to my room, dropping my purse on the floor as I climb up on my bed so I'm kneeling on its softness and lean forward against the wall, pressing my lips to his. For a split second a feel a warm tingle then the taste of plastic seeps through and I pull back to look at his gorgeous face, glossed over on the thin poster. Smiling gently as I note, not for the first time, that he doesn't run away from me here in my room, I settle back against my pillows and bask in the attention of his eyes on me from every angle imaginable.

Maybe I can't ever be with the real him but like this, watching him from afar and having countless pictures of his beautiful visage to come home to, I'm happy.

I'm … ok with this.

(XxXxX)

Yeah … I totally ship Model X Sadako. Sue me. D : They make a cute pairing dammit.