Author's Note: This is just a one-shot that I wrote late one night. I don't know where it came from or why I wrote it, but I thought you guys might enjoy it. Just so everyone who's reading 'Hacking Into Love," I'm still working on that (the next chapter is in progress). I'd really LOVE reviews (just a few words doesn't take that much time) and appreciate any input on this. If you think I should turn it into a full story, let me know ;) Enjoy!
Six Years.
It had been six years. Six years to the day that I had first seen him – that I had first seen all of them. Six years. Six years, and so much had changed. I looked down at myself – at my shorts and blue t-shirt. I was nothing special. I knew that then, and I still know it. It was for the best that it ended when it did. Because one thing I knew for certain: it would have ended. He was perfect, and still must be. He was so much more than I could ever have hoped for. I didn't deserve it for the time I had him.
I knew that now. How? How could I believe myself not worthy of the man I loved? Because I am a fraud. I, Bella Swan, am a fraud. That's why Jacob's ring was on my finger. I knew that I'd never love Jake the way he loved me, but I took him anyway. I couldn't let myself be alone. I needed to at least have someone. Eventually, I'm sure we'll both be miserable. But I can't bring myself to leave him. I just can't. Not even when I still call his name out at night.
I took a deep breath and looked out at the waves below me. I felt a rush of adrenaline as I thought of the dive I was going to take. All those years ago, when I'd come here to do just this, Jake had stopped me before I had the chance. He said something about it being only for the strongest of swimmers. But I knew I could do it. That's why I'd finally found a way to circumvent Jake's overprotective watching. I'd planned this for weeks – the perfect way to commemorate my last day before I married Jake and destroyed his life as much as mine was surely destroyed.
Closing my eyes, I took another breath, preparing to jump. I wondered if I would hear his voice – just as I had when I was 18 years old, and had done similarly reckless things. It had been so long since I'd done anything like this. I'd shut myself down after Jake stopped me the last time, pretending to be happy – pretending to be alive for him and Charlie. But now I needed to hear him just one last time.
"Bella, what are you doing?" He asked me sadly.
I squeezed my eyes shut with the force of emotion I felt then; his voice was so much better than I had imagined. So much better.
"I have to." I whispered aloud. There's no other way for me to say goodbye.
"Bella, no." He whispered, pain in his voice. "No."
And then I felt a hand on my arm. An icy cool, perfect hand.
Whirling in a sudden intake of surprise, since I'd clearly lost my mind entirely, I accidentally stumbled backwards. If he hadn't pulled me to him, so close our bodies were touching, I would have fallen.
"How can you touch me?" I breathed, looking into the face that I loved so dearly. The face that couldn't possibly be here. "If you're not real, how can you touch me?"
He looked at me sadly, griping me tighter. "I am real." Was all he said.
And then I knew.
