„OMG! Bella!" I heard screaming and whirled around to an overly happy pixie in time to brace myself of the impact of her body.
"What the hell, Alice!" I scoffed when we fell to the ground. Never underestimate the power of the pixie.
"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my GOD!" she screamed so loud that I was afraid I would get deaf.
"Calm down!" I screamed back and pushed her off of me. Alice may be my best friend, but she was annoying as hell sometimes.
"Okay… I´m sorry… I´m calm now." She took a deep breath and smoothed out her perfect raven hair. And that´s when I saw it… it sat on her ringfinger and mocked me with its sparkling beauty. I froze, my eyes glued to the item that broke my heart.
"Oh… yes… that´s what I wanted to tell you. He PROPOSED!" she squeaked and jumped up and down.
I couldn´t answer, I couldn´t even move. He had asked her. He had really asked her to marry her, to spend the rest of their lives together.
Unwelcomed tears sprung to my eyes, my eyes still on the ring.
"Bella?" asked Alice unsure. She didn´t know what I really felt and I surely would never tell her why I was feeling right at this moment. Dread, hopelessness, sadness….
"Are you okay?" I hated that she was so sweet and concerned. I didn´t deserve it. She was my best friend, about to marry the love of her life and I should be happy for her. Only… I wasn´t.
"I´m fine, Al. I´m just… so happy for you." I whispered, the first tear rolling down my cheek. Her eyes went wide and filled up with tears, too.
"Oh, Bella. Thank you so much. You are my best friend. Thank you." She whispered and hugged me tight.
I wanted to push her back and tell her to stop that. I wasn´t her best friend. I was a horrible friend, to be honest. I mean… which best friend isn´t not happy if her best friend is engaged to the man she loves and that reads every wish from her eyes… well, me. And why? Because I love him, too, and I can´t help but wish that he would look at me, instead of the pixie. That he would see ME and love me. I´m a horrible person.
"You HAVE to be my maid of honor, Bella. Please say yes." She begged now.
WHAT? Hell no! I can´t do that. I´m not even sure, if I can be part of the wedding at all. Seeing getting Alice married was one thing, but seeing her getting married to the love of my life was another.
"Of course, Al. I feel honored." I answered instead of telling her the truth.
The truth, you ask? Well, obviously I was in love with her boyfriend… no, FIANCÈ. Apart from that, I sometimes hated her for having rolled into that date, I had with him and taking him away from me.
Jasper Whitlock… tall, ridiculously goodlooking, charming, sweet, smart… shortly: the perfect man. I met him when I started my job as a teacher. While I was teaching English literature, he taught history. I fell for him the moment I saw him in the teachers' lounge. He was… perfect.
I´ve always been extremely shy, but he was nothing but sweet and encouraging and soon, we were friends. He helped me through the obscurities of school and was there for me whenever I needed a friend. Though I knew he didn´t see more than a friend in, me, I agreed to go out with him. It was a sweet gesture, because he thought I felt lonely. And, to be honest, I was thrilled.
We had a wonderful time together. First, we went out for dinner and then we went for a walk. Our hands found each other on their own accord and I was the happiest woman on earth.
We stopped at a beautiful fountain and he stroked my cheek tenderly. Of course I blushed furiously, but I didn´t pull back. Who could pull back from such a god?
And right when I was sure, he would kiss me, this pixie showed up and ruined everything. She jumped me with a stupid remark and introduced herself to a very stunned Jasper. And when I saw the look on their faces, I knew I had lost him. They looked at each other, like there was nothing else in the world, so I did what I was supposed to do. I left.
Stupid? Maybe. Irrational? No. I know when I see love at first sight.
Well… ever since then, they were ridiculously happy and I was a bystander, pretending to be happy for them and crying myself to sleep every night. Well, at least he was happy, that was all that mattered.
Was I? No, definitely now. If not for Alice´s and Jasper´s open show of affection whenever I was with them, it was for my personal devil. Edward Cullen. He was the music teacher at our school and had a personal fest to pick on me whenever he could… like now.
"So, the 2 love birds are getting married?" he asked and slumped down on the chair next to me, during our break.
I didn´t even look at him and continued to pick on my salad. Ever since Alice had told me, I wasn´t hungry anymore.
"Are you happy for them?" he asked and I glanced at him. His stupid smirk was in place, his eyes dancing with amusement.
"Of course. Why wouldn´t I?" I asked casually and concentrated on the food I wouldn´t eat anyway.
"Oh… I don´t know. Maybe because you love him?" he asked as casually and I froze.
Shit! He knew? How?
"Oh, come on, Swan. You are so obvious. It´s a wonder that Jas hasn´t noticed by now." He chuckled and I really, really wanted to slap him right now. But of course I didn´t.
"That´s none of your business." I mumbled around my fork with a huff. He just looked with unreadable eyes at me.
"If you say so." If I didn´t know better, I could have sworn it sounded somehow sad. But this was Edward Cullen. Goodlooking bastard and playboy. He was just pissed that he couldn´t get into my panties.
I didn´t say another word and got up.
"Call me when you´re over him. We could have some fun." He called after me, causing me to trip and blush furiously. I glared over my shoulder at him, but he only laughed.
"Bella, did you take care of the flowers? And what about the caterer. I´ll kill him, if he tries to…" I sighed and blocked out Alice´s annoying voice. We were planning her perfect wedding and it became harder and harder to not strangle her.
"Oh… and the tablecloths. I told you that I wanted cream instead of Champaign." She babbled.
Okay, this was it.
"You know what, Alice. Do what you want, because I can´t seem to make anything right, when it comes to your perfect wedding with you perfect fiancé. Hell, I don´t even know the difference cream and champagne. SUE ME." I snapped and jumped up.
"Bella." She gasped with wide eyes.
"No, Alice. I´m sick of it. I´m sick of you telling me how perfect Jasper is in everything, or how good he is in bed. I don´t want to hear it, okay? You, obviously have your perfect wedding all made up and I can´t see how you need me for this." I grabbed my stuff and turned to leave.
"What is your problem?" she screeched behind me and though I knew, I had hurt her, it hurt me even more.
"Oh… I understand, Bella. You are jealous… you can´t stand by and see me having my happily ever after. And I thought you were my best friend. You know what, Bella? I WILL have my perfect wedding. With or without you doesn´t matter. Why can´t you just be happy for me? Don´t I deserve to be happy? I know you haven´t found your special one till now, but I´m sure with some makeup and the right clothes… you are so pretty, just a bit mousy. If you would…" I knew I shouldn´t do this. It was ridiculous and stupid, but enough was enough.
"Shut up, Alice." I hissed and her eyes widened in shock.
"I´m jealous, you tell me? Yes, Alice. I´m jealous. But not the way you think. And you think I´m not acting like your best friend? That´s bullshit, Alice, and you know it. And about finding my special one… I found him long before you found him, but you had to destroy everything. Did you know that we were on a date when you jumped me in the park? A DATE, Alice. You knew how long I´ve been in love with him but you had to come and destroy everything. Who isn´t a good friend now? You tell me." I ranted, anger tears welling up in my eyes.
"Bella… I didn´t think…" she began, but, again, I cut her off.
"Didn't think what, Alice? That I really love him? Please! You were there when I told you each and every detail about him. You were the one helping me getting ready for the date I had dreamed about for MONTHS. So who can´t stand the happiness of their friend now? You… you couldn´t stand my happiness and had to destroy it and instead of kicking your ass, I left you 2 alone to start that epic love story. I kept up with your rambling about how perfect he is and I even agreed to be the maid of honor at your wedding with the man I love." I glared at my former best friend, while she stared back at me with misty eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
"I wish you a wonderful wedding. I really do. And enjoy your happily ever after… but scratch me in that part." With that, I whirled around and stormed out of the house.
I felt sad, betrayed, stupid, hurt… all at once. How could she do this to me? She had known how much in love I was with Jasper and still she had to interfere. Great best friend.
The tears fell from my eyes, but I didn´t care while I stormed through town. It was a dark and rainy day… perfect for the mood I´m in.
"Whoa. Calm down." I heard a voice beside me and somebody grabbing my arm.
"What?" I snapped and whirled to the person. It was Edward and he had that stupid smirk on his stupid beautiful face.
"Who ran over your puppy?" he asked smugly. It was too much, it was just too much.
Before I knew it, my hand had connected with his cheek with such a force that his head flew to the side.
"What the hell!" he roared and held his cheek, his eyes full of anger, but also wide in shock.
"You listen, you bloody bastard. There´s no reason for you to pick on me all the time. I don´t know what I did to you and even if I did something to you, I don´t care. Leave me alone and find someone else to have fun with." I screamed over the thunder and my loud thumping heart.
He looked shocked at me, blinking a few times, while I glared at him full force, tears still streaming down my face.
"You´re crying." He stated sad and reached out to my face, but I stepped back and shook my head.
"I know that I´m nothing more to you than a pity worthy girl with a stupid crush. But… please… please leave it. Just this one time." I begged now in a whisper. He searched in my eyes for something and though I wanted to, I couldn't look away.
I was sure I had gotten to him and he would leave me, but he had other plans. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me with him.
"Let me go!" I called, ignoring the tingling sensation that started in my hand and went up my arm. He ignored me and dragged me along with him, his long legs setting a pace that left me to nearly run.
"Edward! Where are we going? I told you to leave me alone." I tried to get out of his grab, but his hand tightened around my wrist.
Damn… it hurt and it would be bruised in the morning, I was sure about it.
Eventually, we reached a door that he unlocked and shoved me inside. It was a nice little house with a comfy atmosphere, but I had no idea what he wanted here.
Eventually, he let go of my wrist and vanished to the right. I took the moment to look around. It was really nice. And a look at some pictures showed me that I was in Edward´s house.
"Here" He said and threw a towel at me. Luckily, I was able to catch it and toweled my dripping locks. When I looked up, he was gone again and I thought it was a good opportunity to leave, but the door was locked.
"I hope tea is okay for you?" he asked from the door, that smug expression on his face.
"Fuck you, Edward. I want to go home, so let me out." I sneered and tried the handle again.
"Sorry, but I can´t do that." He chuckled.
"You know what, Edward. Continue to be the biggest ass on earth. I´m sure there are people that enjoy you, but leave me out of it, okay? Both of us know that we can´t stand each other, so why are you doing this?" I sighed, suddenly feeling tired and looked at him. His expression was odd, almost as if he was hurt.
"You don´t know me, so stop acting like you do." He snapped and turned back to what must have been the kitchen.
I wanted to get out of here. I wanted to be alone and to curl up in my bed and cry till I had no tears left, but this stupid ass wouldn´t let me. Why couldn´t he leave me alone? What had I ever done to him?
Knowing, that he wouldn´t let me go so fast, I sighed and walked into the livingroom, where I took a seat on the couch.
"Honey and sugar?" his soft voice startled me and my head snapped to him. He held 2 cups with steaming tea in his hands and looked unsure at me. He looked almost… nice.
"No, thank you." I answered unsure. He just nodded, handed me my cup and took a seat next to me. He was too near for my liking, so I scooped as far away from him as possible and ignored the hurt look on his face.
To feel the hot liquid running down my throat and warming my inside was heavenly, but it caused me to realize how cold I was.
"Here." He said and handed me a blanket.
"Uhm… I´m wet. I don´t want to…" I began, but stopped when he draped the blanket over my shoulders in such a tender way that my heartbeat sped up.
"There you go." He mumbled and leaned back.
"Tha… thank you." I stuttered and bit my lip.
Though the following silence was awkward, it was also somehow… comforting.
"Why are you doing this?" I whispered eventually, my eyes trained on the cup in my hand. I heard him sigh.
"I don´t know." He admitted. At least he was honest.
I just nodded, not knowing what else to say.
"Jasper is an idiot." He suddenly snapped, causing me to jump. He looked really angry.
"What is it to you?" I asked truly curious. His eyes flickered to me, showing something I didn´t understand, before he put his mask back on, but he didn´t answer.
"I know that Jasper is your best friend and that you hate me, so why…"
"I don´t hate you, Bella." He hissed with so much force that I felt fear crawling up my spine. But with said fear cam also anger.
"Oh? Well, I´m sorry I didn´t notice till now." I replied with a raised eyebrow.
"It´s not like you think." He mumbled more to himself than to me.
"Care to enlighten me, then?" I asked and his eyes snapped to me. He opened his mouth to say something, but then he shook his head.
"What happened?" he asked instead.
"Huh?" Great response, I know.
"Why were you out there in the middle of a rainstorm, crying?" he clarified and a pain shot into my chest.
"I don´t want to talk about it." I mumbled and looked back at my cup.
"Bella… I…" began, but his cell rang that moment.
"What?" he snapped to the poor caller.
"Oh… really?" he shot me a sideways glance and a small grin.
"No… no idea where she could be. Why are you asking me?... oh… okay. I´ll let you know when I know something." With that he hung up and chuckled.
"So you told the pixie off?" he snickered and I gasped.
"How…?"
"That was Jasper. He told me about a pretty nasty fight between you and your so called best friend and you storming off afterwards. They are searching for you." He explained with amusement.
"Then why did you tell him that you don´t know where I am?" my eyes narrowed at him, but he just shrugged.
"I thought you aren´t in the mood to handle them at the moment." He had a point. I was still too hurt and vulnerable to face them. And I felt bad about how I had treated Alice. After all she was my best friend and I had been mean.
But was it a good idea to be at Edward Cullen´s house in this state?
A hand tugging on my chin brought me back to reality and caused me to jump. Edward had scooted nearer and looked deep into my eyes.
"Stop biting your lip. The skin will break." He said huskily and I did.
He nodded and leaned back again and this time I felt kind of disappointed.
"You said you don´t hate me. Then why are you treating me so poorly all the time?" I asked after another felt eternity of silence.
"And why are you so… nice now? Why are you taking care of me and why are you lying to your best friend?" I asked without looking at him. He was really strange and I needed answers.
"I said that Jasper is an idiot and I mean it." He answered solemnly.
"Why? I don´t understand. He´s your best friend and…" his eyes snapped to me, his glare so powerful that I shrunk back in my seat.
"Because it´s him who is treating you poorly. At first he didn´t see how madly you were in love with him and when he finally did, he took off with that stupid pixie and broke your heart." His voice was dark and full of hate.
Somehow it hurt me to see him like that.
"Don´t." I begged in a whisper and his eyes widened.
"Don´t think like that about him. He´s your best friend and I´m not worth it."
"Bella." He gasped, hurt filling up his beautiful green eyes.
"I mean it, Edward. My dad taught me to never step between a men´s friendship. Please don´t be mad at him… not over me." My voice was barely audible now and a sob escaped me.
"I… Can I please go now? I really want to go home." I got up and looked at him. He clenched his jaw and nodded.
"Thank you." He walked me to the door and unlocked it.
"Thank you… for today." I said without looking at him.
"Anytime." He whispered and when I looked at him, I saw that he meant it.
Answer the phone, please. I´m sorry, okay? I really wasn´t thinking and I´m sorry for having hurt you. But you could have said something.
I deleted Alice´s message before it had even ended. I was still too mad at her. Thankfully the weekend gave me some time to think things through and to calm down. AND to brace myself for seeing Jasper on Monday.
I was lucky enough to avoid him in the morning and I hoped I would be lucky enough to not see him at all today.
The day was over and the students had left. To avoid Jasper, I had stayed in my classroom during lunch.
"Bella?" I heard from the door, combined with a knock and tensed up. I knew that voice and I dreaded hearing it.
"What´s up, Jasper?" I asked with a forced smile and looked at him. He looked as perfect as always with his blond curls and the intense grey eyes, but something was different. My heart didn´t begin to race, like all the times before.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked unsure, his hands in his pockets.
"Actually, I´m about to leave." I mumbled and got up from my desk.
"Please, Bella." I made the mistake to look into his eyes.
"Okay." I sighed and sat back down. He nodded and looked unsure around.
He wanted to talk to me? He would have to start.
"Alice told me what happened." He eventually said.
"I thought so." I replied emotionless. His eyes snapped back to me, searching something in mine.
"You are her best friend, Bella. She´s devastated." I knew I had hurt her and I felt really bad about it, but she had hurt me so much more.
"I´m sorry to hear that." I replied cold and he gasped.
"She knows you didn´t mean it and she forgives you, but you don´t answer her calls. So she asked me to talk to you." He got on and I felt anger boiling inside me. How dare she?
"She forgives ME? " I asked through clenched teeth.
He nodded in confusion.
"How dare she?" I was angrier than ever before.
"Come on, Bells. I know she can be… exhausting from time to time, but she just wants perfect wedding. Can you blame her? Did you really have to throw a fit about it? You´re best friends and you should be happy about it." He said now in an irritated voice.
He had really no idea, had he?
"Jasper." I began deadly calm, but didn´t get to continue as Edward stormed in and punched his best friend in the face.
"Edward!" I screeched shocked.
"How dare you, Jas. Are you really that blind?" he growled and got into position to punch him again.
"What the fuck, man. What is your problem?" called Jasper mad.
Edward was in his face again, but I couldn´t let that happen.
"Stop that!" I called, but they didn´t listen to me.
"How much longer do you want to hurt Bella? Didn´t you break her heart enough by now?" accused Edward now and though Jas was mad, his eyes widened.
"What are you talking about?" Edward punched him again, this time in the gut.
"ENOUGH!" I screamed.
"She loves you, you stupid bastard. She´s been in love with you ever since she came to this school, but you never noticed her. And when you did, you had nothing better to do than to humiliate her by going for her best friend while you were on a fucking DATE with her. What a bastard." Jasper was shocked, to say the least, but he managed to dodge Edward´s next punch and attack himself.
They tackled each other to the ground, fists flying.
"It´s enough! Stop that!" I screamed, but they wouldn´t listen. I even thought about going in between them, but that would have been downright stupid.
"You bloody bastard. How could you do this to her?" Edward.
"I never knew, asshole. What is it to you?"shot Jasper back.
"STOP!" I screamed louder than I ever thought I could. Both of them froze and looked shocked at me.
Tears were streaming down my face and my body was shaking from sobs.
"Stop it." I whispered and hugged myself.
I felt so humiliated right now.
"Bella, I…" began Jasper, but I held up my hand to stop him.
"You are both the biggest assholes on this planet." I whispered.
"How could you do this? How could you…" I shook my head at myself.
"You are best friends and you are lying here on the ground after a stupid fight. What are you? 15?"
"He´s been hurting you enough." Defended Edward in a huff, but my glare sobered him up.
"Stop that, Edward. I appreciate your try to defend me, but that´s downright stupid. I don´t even know why you are doing that. He´s your best friend. I told you not to do this because of me. Why can´t you listen at least once?" he opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
"Is it true?" asked Jasper now and I tensed up.
"Have you been in love with me ever since you came here?" I closed my eyes tightly, trying to find the strength to answer.
"Yes." I whispered and heard a sharp intake of breath.
"Bella, I…" he began again, but I held up my hand.
"No, Jasper. Don´t even start. I was in love with you, that´s true. And you have no idea how happy I was when you asked me out. I should have known that it was too good to be true. Well… that´s in the past. You have Alice now." A tear rolled down my cheek.
"I… don´t know what to say." He mumbled and brushed with his hand through his hair.
"You don´t have to say anything. It wasn´t your fault. You fell in love with her the moment you saw her and you never saw me as more than as a nice coworker." My voice crackled and I hated it.
"Does Alice know… you know?" he asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.
"She did from the beginning. She was even there to help me getting ready for the date." His eyes widened.
"I don´t understand…" Edward growled, but my glare stopped him.
"It doesn´t matter anymore. But, please, forgive me if I´m not too keen on seeing her at the moment. And about our fight. I threw a fit, I admit that, but I couldn´t take her rambling about you anymore. She knows how I felt about you and she enjoyed torturing me. She told me each detail about how ´perfect´ you are and she was a bridezilla. She even accused me of not wanting her to be happy." New tears welled up in my eyes.
"I never knew." Apologized Jasper now and I shook my head with a sad smile.
"That´s okay. I really wish you 2 the best, Jasper. But please understand that it´s hard for me to stand by and watch. I backed off before, by leaving when you met and I´ll do it again." With that, I turned back to my desk and grabbed my bag.
"I´m sorry, Bella. I never knew." Whispered Jasper and looked sad at me. I just smiled through my tears and passed him by.
"So… you knew where she was when I called you on Saturday?" I heard Jasper ask Edward when I was out of the door and though I knew I should have left, I somehow couldn´t.
"Yes." Was Edward´s cryptic answer.
"Why didn´t you tell me? Alice was ill of concern." I heard Edward chuckle.
"Do you know which state she was in when I found her? She was out in the rainstorm, completely wet and cold and she was crying. You should have seen her eyes. You´ve broken her heart over and over again, but there was always that spark in her eyes. But on Saturday… there was nothing left. She has given up for good." My heart clenched when I heard the sadness in Edward´s voice, but I didn´t understand why.
"I´m so sorry. I really didn´t know." Mumbled Jasper.
"Thank that pixie of fiancé you have. She knew it all the time. She acts like she´s Bella´s best friend, but I saw the envy in her eyes. She planned this. She planned to ruin your date. Why did you ask her out anyway?" Jasper sighed.
"She´s cute and has a great personality. I wanted to give it a shot, but she was right. I never saw her as more as a nice coworker… a friend." He admitted and though it hurt to finally hear it, it was also freeing.
"Why are you defending her like that?" asked Jasper now and my heartbeat increased in await to hear the answer.
"I see." Mumbled Jasper
"I´ve been wanting to kick your ass for a while now." Both of them chuckled.
"Did you know that she begged me to now throw our friendship away because of her? She thinks it´s not worth it." Huffed Edward now.
"Really?" asked Jasper in disbelieve.
"Wow… gosh. She´s really something special, isn´t she?" he asked now and my heart made a jump.
"She´s really special and she doesn´t even know it." Sighed Edward.
Huh? That was odd.
"Why don´t you tell her?" asked Jasper now and I had no idea what he was talking about.
Edward mumbled something under his breath, but I couldn´t make out what.
"What are you going to do with Alice?" asked Edward now and Jas groaned.
"If only I knew. What do you think?" he asked desperate.
"I don´t know, Jas. I really don´t. Alice seems to be a sweet girl, but what she did to Bella…" he growled.
"I know, but I love her." Sighed Jasper. Something inside me changed. It was like I was giving Jasper free, like I was realizing that we were never meant to be.
"But I really don´t know if I can marry her after what she did." I pushed myself off of the wall and wiped the tears away.
This wasn´t my concern anymore, but I knew they would end up together the one way or the other. They loved each other.
With that thought and a true smile on my face, I left without looking back.
The week passed by without another incident. I kept my distance from both Jasper and Edward and they let me be… thankfully.
A glass of wine and a relaxing bath was everything I craved when I came home Friday afternoon. The turmoil after the events left me exhausted and tired.
The bath was pure heaven and after that, I cuddled onto my favorite chair and pulled out my old and worn copy of Wuthering Heights with my glass. It wasn´t very late, but I didn´t feel like doing anything else today. I was content with what I had.
But that peace didn´t last long when the doorbell rang. At first, I thought about ignoring it, but it rang again. So I got up with a huff and dragged my feet to the door.
"Edward." I gasped when I opened. In front of me stood a shyly smiling Edward with a bunch of flowers and a blue eye.
"I´m sorry, Bella. I don´t want to disturb." He brushed with his hand through his hair and looked unsure at me.
"Come in." I said without thinking about it and opened the door further.
"Can I offer you something? I have wine, or maybe something else?" I asked suddenly nervous, while he looked around.
"Wine would be great." He answered and flashed me a smile that caused my heartbeat to increase.
I just nodded and went to the kitchen to fetch a 2nd glass.
What was he doing here?
"Oh… before I forget it. These are for you." He mumbled and handed me the flowers.
"Uhm… thank you. They are beautiful. How did you know that Freesias are my favorite?" I blushed and looked down at the bouquet.
"I didn´t. I was lucky, I guess." Again, I nodded.
"I´ll… just put these into a vase." My hands were shaking when I took the vase out of the cabinet.
I really didn´t understand what he wanted here and why he was so different. Like a different persona. This Edward wasn´t mean, he was sweet and cute. And why did he have such an effect on me.
When I returned to the living room, he stood in front of the wall where all my pictures hung. There were a lot of Alice and me, together with other friends and pictures of my parents.
"That´s really nice." He said without turning to me.
"Thank you."
"How long do Alice and you know each other?" his question caused my heart to clench.
"Since kindergarten. I´ve always been really shy and at the first day, she just came up to me, hugged me and told me we would be best friends." I smiled sad at the memory.
"That´s a long time." He mumbled and I looked up at me. His eyes were burning into mine with such intensity that I shivered.
"That it is." I went over to the couch and sat down.
"I´m sorry, Bella." He suddenly blurted out and I stared with wide eyes at him.
"I´m sorry for my behavior. I was really an ass and you did never anything to deserve how I treated you." He came over to me and sat down next to me.
I didn´t know what to say to that, so I took my glass and took a bit sip.
"I know that my behavior is unacceptable and that you are probably just too nice to kick me out, but…" he brushed with his hand through his hair again.
"I´m really sorry." A shock went through my body when he grabbed my hands.
"I just don´t understand." I whispered, getting lost in the endless depths of his green eyes.
"I know and I would like to explain everything if you let me… just not now." My brows furrowed in confusion.
"I know this must sound completely crazy to you, but I would like to get to know you better."
"Why?" I asked suspiciously and he chuckled.
"Can´t you imagine?" my brows furrowed even more, but something told me to try it. Somehow I wanted to get to know the mystery that was Edward Cullen.
"Okay." I said and looked at him.
"Okay what?" he asked unsure.
"I´d like to get to know you, too." His face lit up like the face of a child on Christmas morning.
"Really?" I bit my lip and nodded.
Right then his stomach growled and he turned pink.
"Would you like to stay for… dinner? We could order something or…" I offered and blushed deeper than ever before when I realized how it sounded.
"I´d like that." He answered with a soft voice. Again I got lost in his eyes. Was he leaning in?
"Uhm… what would you like? I have some menus here." I burst out, jumped up and hurried back to the kitchen where I searched through the menus that hung at the fridge.
"Anything you want." I heard his velvety voice in my ear and gasped. He was so close.
"Uhm… how about…" I bit my lip and turned around, but bumped into a broad chest. He was even closer than I thought. I´m sure I must have looked like a deer caught in the headlights, because he sighed and took a step back.
"Chinese?" I blurted out and blushed even more.
Stupid Bella. Stop being such an idiot. This is Edward. So get a grip!
"Sounds perfect." He flashed me his crooked grin and I let out a shaky breath.
"How about a movie to dinner? You order and I´ll take a look at your movies." He offered now.
"Uhm… okay."
I ordered us the food and found Edward kneeling on front of my DVD collection.
"Quite impressive what you have." He said and looked up at me.
I looked oddly at him. Nice Edward was still strange to me.
"Did you find anything you like?" I asked instead of answering. He nodded and flipped a DVD into the player.
When the movie started, I couldn´t help the giggle that escaped me.
"Are you serious?" he grinned widely and nodded.
"I saw you reading ´Wuthering Heights´ and thought you might enjoy ´Pride&Prejustice´." A warm feeling flooded my body. He was really thoughtful.
Eventually the dinner arrived and we ate in companionable silence, both watching the movie.
"What do you like about the movie?" Edward asked out of the blue.
"I like the storyline. I like that they don´t see what is so obvious and still get their happily ever after." I answered without a second thought. Edward´s eyes filled up with a feeling I didn´t understand.
To change the topic and to lighten up the sudden tension, I blurted the first thing out that came to my mind.
"Tell me about yourself, Edward." He choked slightly on his bite.
"Uhm… what would you like to know?"
"Dunno… Are you originally from Seattle?"
"No, I moved here after I graduated."
The next 2 hours, I got to learn more about the mystery that is Edward Cullen. He told me about his parents that were still living in Chicago but thought about moving to Seattle, as he and his older brother were living here. I learned that he loved to play the piano and even composed music himself. We shared the same taste of music and literature and I noticed that he was a real good guy.
I also told him about myself. About my childhood in the little town of Forks, about my parents and my friends, as much as about my time at university.
"It´s getting late." He observed with a sad look at the clock. It was past midnight and I was shocked to see how time had flown by.
"I better go now." He mumbled and got up. I couldn´t help but to think he felt as reluctant to leave as me. Somehow I didn´t want him to go. I had enjoyed our time together.
"Oh… okay. Uhm… thank you… you know… for the flowers and tonight. I really enjoyed myself." I mumbled and bit my lip. Again I felt him tugging on my chin so I freed said lip.
"I also enjoyed myself, Bella. Thank you… for everything." His eyes were so intense that I got lost in them. Even if I had wanted to look away, I simply couldn´t.
He suddenly stiffened and pulled back.
"I guess I´ll see you on Monday." I just nodded and after a kiss on my cheek, he was gone.
My heart roared and tears welled up in my eyes.
Why was I so sad that he had left? I would see him on Monday.
And that´s when I realized it. I was in love with Edward Cullen.
Yes, I had been in love with Jasper, but that had only been a crush. All the time it had been Edward.
Memories of our earlier encounters flooded my mind. All the looks, the teasing, his sad eyes, whenever he caught me ogling his best friend…
Before I knew it, I was out of the door and ran after him.
Edward was just about to get into his car, when I reached him.
"Edward!" I called.
"Bella? What happened? What is it?" he asked frantically.
"Bella." He gasped when he noticed the tears streaming down my face and cupped my face to wipe them away with his thumbs.
"May… may I ask you something?" his brows furrowed in confusion, but he nodded.
"All this… behavior. All this… teasing and being mean to me… why?" he tensed up and wanted to pull back, but I didn´t let him. Instead I cupped his face and looked deep into his eyes. They were troubled and sad.
"Edward." I whispered, begging him with my eyes to be honest.
"The moment I saw you, I was fascinated by you, Bella. You seemed so shy and unsure and still so determined and strong. I wanted to get to know you, but Jasper was faster. I stepped back to let him get to know you and I learned a lot about you through him. You were sweet and strong, but also vulnerable and unsure. I…" before he could end, I stood on my toes and crashed my lips to his. At first he was too stunned to respond, but then his arms came around my waist and pulled me closer.
"Bella." He panted and pulled slightly back so our foreheads were touching.
"I´m in love with you." My eyes flew open and searched in those endless pools of jade.
"Me too." I whispered. His eyes widened.
"I´m sorry about Jasper and everything. I just realized that it´s always been you. You´ve been there for me to make sure I wouldn´t give up. You were there to show me that there´s more to life than what I thought Jasper would be and you were there to take care of me after the fight with Alice. You even got into a fight with your best friend to protect me and I… I… I´m in love with you." I rambled, new tears falling from my eyes.
"Bella." His voice was tight from emotions and his arms tightened around me.
"I don´t want to leave you." He admitted with closed eyes.
"Then don´t. I don´t want you to go. Please… come back inside." I clang onto him, afraid he would leave me any second. Without another word, he picked me up bridal style and carried me back inside.
"Where would I go without you?" he asked when he lay me down on my bed carefully.
"I love you." I sighed and I meant it. Edward Cullen may have been a mystery to me, but I had gotten to know him and though there was still a lot to learn about him, I was sure about one thing: Edward Cullen was the most beautiful and perfect man for me.
"I now declare you to husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." The church applauded and cheered.
"I love you. Never leave me." I whispered.
"Where would I go without you?" he whispered back before he kissed me tenderly.
"Ladies and Gentleman. Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen." Announced the priest and we turned beaming to our families and friends.
It was hard to believe that not even a year had passed by since that night. We had made love that night and I had known that he was the love of my life.
He was perfect in every aspect and I was ridiculously happy.
And here we were, at our wedding, unable to wipe the grins from our faces.
"I´m so happy for you." Sobbed Edward´s mother Esme and hugged me tight.
"Thank you, Esme." I replied soft.
"Good job, man. You got yourself a fine bride." Boomed Emmett and hugged his brother. Edward laughed carefree and nodded.
"That, I have." Everybody came to hug and congratulate us, but I was searching for 2 people in the crowd.
"I´m sure they´re here somewhere." Assured Edward and kissed the spot behind my ear.
"I hope so." I whispered back.
"Bella?" I heard a timid voice behind me and whirled around. Alice stood in front of me, her eyes unsure and misty.
"Alice." I sighed, relieve flooding through me.
"I…" she began and shook her head slowly.
"I´m so happy for you, Bella. Nobody deserves happiness more than you. And I´m so endlessly sorry for what happened." A sob escaped her.
"I know I don´t deserve it, but… can you… maybe with time… can you forgive me?" she asked and looked so broken that my heart clenched. Edwards arm around my waist tightened, giving me the strength I needed.
"Forgive us." Chimed Jasper in, who now stood behind her. He looked sad at me.
"Congratulations." He said to Edward, who nodded.
"I always knew that you love her." He added and I gasped slightly.
"We´re really sorry, Bella. Both of us were idiots that didn´t give a damn about your feelings." Apologized Jasper now and I could see in his eyes that he meant it.
"What you did wasn´t okay." I began and both their faces fell.
"It´s okay. We better…" mumbled Alice, but I cut her off.
"BUT…" she gasped and looked with wide eyes at me.
"Without you, I would have never met the love of my life and I wouldn´t be as happy as I am today." Edward kissed my temple.
"It will take time to regain my trust in you… both of you. But I miss my best friend and my favorite coworker." They gasped in shock.
"Bella." Cried Alice and threw herself at me.
"I´m so, so sorry. I promise to make it up to you. I promise and I´ve missed you so much." She rambled, her small arms around me tightening till I had difficulties to breathe. I hugged her back with a soft smile.
Edward and Jasper hugged and I knew they would be okay. When Jasper pulled back, he mouthed a ´thank you´ to me. My smile widened and I nodded.
"Edward?" I asked unsure when we were in our honeymoon suite that night.
"What is it, my love?" he was half asleep, after our blissful love making.
"Do you want to have children?" he tensed up underneath me and raised his head to look at me.
"I can´t wait to have babies with the love of my life." He answered honest and I shivered.
"Why do you ask?" he asked after I had kissed him tenderly.
"Uhm… I may have been late." I mumbled and hid my face in his chest.
"What do you mean… late?" he asked confused.
Okay… here goes nothing.
I looked up at him.
"I´m LATE, Edward." I could see the wheels in his head turning, before he tensed up again.
"You mean…" I leaned over to the nightstand, where I had the pregnancy test I had made this morning. I grabbed it and held it out to him.
"You… you are…?" he stuttered, his face unreadable.
"I know it´s fast and I don´t know how it happened. I´m on the pill, but…" I began to ramble, but gasped when I saw tears in his beautiful eyes.
"I´m so sorry, Edward." I whispered, my own tears welling up.
"Don´t say that." He begged and pulled me back into his arms.
"Are you mad at me?" I asked unsure.
"No… I´m… going to be a father… I´m… our baby… I´m so happy, Bella." I searched for a moment in his eyes. He was honest and my heart felt like bursting of love and happiness.
"I love you." I said with all I had.
"You are my life." He responded and kissed me in a way that made my knees weak and left my insides tingling.
