Title: The Color of Your Smile
Author: DizzyDrea
Summary: Sam makes a discovery that rocks her world.
Rating: T
Spoilers: Really, where have you been? Set sometime Season 7 or later.
Author's Notes: Don't know where this idea came from. Couldn't explain it if I tried, so I'm not going to. Just enjoy it for what it is.
Disclaimer: Stargate and all its particulars belong to MGM, Gekko, Double Secret, Acme Shark and anyone else not mentioned here. This piece of fiction is meant for pure enjoyment and not monetary benefit. I only wish I could make money at this…I'd be rich by now.
~&O&~
Did you know that smiles have a color? I didn't, at least not until I met him. No, wait, that's not entirely true. I actually started noticing it after he came back to us.
When I first met Daniel Jackson, he was so shy and so lost that he kept everything behind the mask he wore. We all do it, so I didn't think anything of it. We became friends, of a sort, moving through life at a breakneck pace, hoping we wouldn't get killed from one day to the next, never sharing anything deeper than pizza and beer and a firm desire to see our next birthday.
But when he came back from his year with the Ascended, I noticed he was different. It was hard to put a finger on, at first. But as the weeks gave way into months, I started to sort out the changes. The first thing I noticed was that his shyness was gone. And I mean gone. He radiated confidence and determination, and I was floored.
Where had my friend the geeky academic gone?
That's when I started noticing it.
He was talking to the Colonel and they were deep into it. I could see Jack O'Neill getting more frustrated by the minute. Whatever Daniel was saying was really getting to him. Then, it happened. Daniel smiled, and it wasn't one of those vague smiles I remember from before. This one was steely, tinged with all the determination Daniel possessed. He had dug in his heels and was prepared to fight if needs be. The Colonel, worn down and exasperated, threw up his hands in surrender and walked away.
I watched as Daniel's smile turned from the raw edge of steel to the silver shimmer of victory, and gasped. No one else saw it, and thankfully I didn't have to explain what had induced my mind-numbing shock. But there it was, a side of Daniel I had never seen before.
Wow.
I started to notice other things, now that I was actually looking. Before his ascension, he hardly ever smiled, and when he did, it was forced. There was no joy in him at all. But since he's come back, he seems freer, unburdened somehow. Like he's finally found the meaning of life, and it actually makes some sense.
Colonel O'Neill invited us over for a bar-b-que a while back, and we were reminiscing about 'the good old days.' We were all rolling around on the floor, laughing our asses off, and I looked up to see Daniel joining in. But it wasn't the courtesy laugh we would have gotten a few years ago. This was a full-on belly laugh, complete with a smile that went all the way to his eyes.
The difference was that this smile was the bright yellow of sunshine, almost white it burned so bright on his face. But it wasn't just his smile that was lit, it was his whole face, the smile radiating from him as though he were the sun. It was a sight to see, and it almost knocked me over it was so intense.
Although, now that I think about it, that wasn't the one that really shocked me. I've always known that Daniel could get angry. It's what he lived on in the weeks, months, years after Sha're was taken. That white-hot anger that colored everything he did. But since her death, I don't remember seeing him get angry.
Until that day.
It was a mission like any other. We'd been sent to make nice with the natives of a very non-descript planet, mostly because we'd gotten some very intriguing readings from the MALP and the science department—my geeks—wanted more. Naquadah is always in short supply, and any time we can cultivate a new source, we're gonna take the time. We'd just successfully negotiated with the inhabitants of another world for access to their naquadah, so we were flush with success.
Unfortunately, things don't always go the way we'd like them to. The natives objected to something about our group and I wouldn't be going out on a limb if I said it was probably Teal'c, who'd stood by with equanimity as his fate, apparently, was being decided. I couldn't understand what was being said—Daniel had said that the language the natives used was some version or other of an ancient Native American dialect that I'd never heard of—but I got the gist of it in a hurry.
Daniel, ever the diplomat, tried being nice, but that didn't get him far. Then, in a flash, he turned predatory. I could see his profile from my position flanking him, and I knew then that things had gone from bad to worse. His smile, when it came, was feral, angry, the color of fire and just as deadly. The tribal elder we were speaking to blanched, then acquiesced. We moved on.
To this day, I have no idea what Daniel said to him, and I'm not sure I want to know. I only know that the old Daniel wouldn't have let his temper get the best of him. This new Daniel didn't care.
And I suppose that's the sum total of it. He's stopped caring if others see. He's stopped caring if his emotions are on his sleeve. They are his, after all, and if others notice, at least they won't be left guessing.
Which is why the smile I saw the other day thrilled and mystified me all at once. I was in my lab, working with a few of the other scientists on some calculations when Daniel walked in. I'm not oblivious to the fact that all my guys, in one way or another, have a thing for me. But one in particular, the new guy I call him, was standing close, almost too close, while I was working an equation on the white board. He was looking over my shoulder, making suggestions in a low voice, and I'd almost had enough.
Then Daniel walked in.
My colleague and I glanced over to see who'd come in, and I saw it, for the briefest of moments on Daniel's face. The smile was…jealous. Pure, unadulterated green envy, rolling off him in waves. And just like that, as if he'd been hit, my colleague stumbled back, muttering something about needing to check his notes.
I glanced behind me to see if he was okay, and when I turned back to look at Daniel, the smile was gone. In it's place was that shimmer of triumph I'd noticed before. I frowned, trying to figure out what that was all about when it hit me. Jealous. Daniel was jealous. Of my colleague. Being so close to me.
Huh.
That was new.
And unexpected.
But not as unexpected as the smile he's wearing now. He's standing in front of me, in my living room, and his smile is suffused with a red glow that is passionate, deep and sensuous. He's not wearing his glasses anymore so I can see into his eyes without barriers, and what I see is amazing. The smoldering embers of his smile are reflected in those eyes, and I can't seem to catch my breath.
If I could be anywhere in the universe, at any time, I would still choose to be right here and right now, because I don't think anyone has ever looked at me the way he's looking at me right now.
And as he reaches for me, and as his lips settle over mine, his smile turns fierce, hungry, the deep red of passion turning white hot in an instant. His heat presses into me, filling me, surrounding me. I suddenly realize why he doesn't hide these smiles anymore. He is living now, in full Technicolor, and loving every minute of it.
Yep, I'm right where I want to be. And maybe one day he'll tell me what he sees when I smile.
~Finis
