Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey or any of the characters in this story
Christian's POV
I sit and stare ahead blankly as my mind refuses to allow me to concentrate on my work. I've spent more time in my office at Escala these past few days than I've had anywhere else. I haven't left it really, only to use the toilet. Gail has been bringing meals to me and I've been forcing the food down my throat, not enjoying one bit of it. I could eat dirt at this point and it wouldn't make a difference. I bring my hand up and scratch at the stubble on my chin, trying to relieve the itchy sensation. I've never had a beard but I haven't cared to shave or shower for that matter. Nothing matters anymore. Not since she left me.
My Ana. I can't believe I let this happen. I've gone over those last few hours in my head over and over again, and I've tried to convince myself that she was to blame. She had asked for it. She had asked me to show her how bad it could be, so I let her have it. I didn't actually give her my worst. That would have been the cane. I had decided on the belt because I didn't think I could ever really use the cane on her even at my worst. That was a hard limit for her. So I gave her six with the belt. She didn't safe word, so I trusted that she was okay. The problem is, she was far from it.
Fuck! Why didn't she safe word? I ask myself the question as I throw one of my coffee mugs across my office, watching it shatter as it hits the wall. The pieces fall to the floor, but something else catches my eye. It is the model Blanik L23 glider that Ana had left for me to find after she was gone. I spent hours putting it together once I found it. She also left a note with it: This reminded me of happy times. Thank you, Ana. Those words are burned into my memory. Happy times. We did have happy times, but I've managed to fuck it up. Now I'll never have it back. I'll never have my Ana. Never again will I have her in my bed, sleeping and spooning with me. Never again will I be able to take in the sweet scent of her hair or her body, or feel her lips on mine. This is what I was trying to avoid all along. Getting emotionally attached to someone, only to lose her. I curse myself for allowing that to happen. I fell victim to the beguiling Anastasia Steele.
I cannot go back to my bedroom. I cannot sleep in my bed, not without her. After having all those nights free of the haunting nightmares, I cannot go back to sleeping alone. The nightmares will return and haunt me. She kept the nightmares away. She did that. And what did I do for her? I belted her and scared her away. I hurt her. The thought of it abhors me.
My phone rings. The last thing I feel like doing right now is talking to anyone, so I let it go to voice mail. A few seconds later it rings again, which tries any patience I might have had. I look at the caller ID and its Ray. Ana's Stepfather. My posture snaps to attention as I sit up straight in my chair and answer the call.
"Grey"
"Christian, Its Ray Steele" he says. He sounds troubled by something, but I try to keep my voice neutral.
"What can I do for you Mr Steele."
"Not for me. It's Annie. She's been in an accident. I'm on my way to the hospital now."
I suddenly feel lightheaded and my stomach starts to knot. Ana, accident…. "Ray, what happened?" I sound more demanding than I mean to, but I need to know what's happening with Ana.
"Please, just meet me at the hospital. I'll explain when you get here."
I end the call and rush through my apartment. Keys, phone, jacket and I am in the lift before Taylor has a chance to join me. The lift does not move nearly as fast as I'd like it to as it travels down to the garage. Once in my car I speed out of the garage and into traffic. My phone is already ringing and I know its Taylor. I press for the speaker phone.
"Taylor"
"Sir, where are you off to?"
"I am on my way to the hospital. Ana's been in an accident. I've got this Taylor. Stay at Escala until I call with further instructions."
I click the phone off before he has a chance to reply. I don't doubt that he will do as I say. It takes be about seven minutes to arrive at the hospital and park the car.
I rush to emergency and find Ray instantly. He looks upset, but when he sees me his expression turns dark.
"What the hell happened to you?" he asks me. At first I just give him a confused look, but then I realize that my appearance is anything but my best at the moment. I haven't shaved or showered. I scratch at my chin and try to brush off his question about my current state of bad hygiene.
"I've a…. I've been very busy. Ray, what's happened with Ana?"
He takes a breath, like he's trying to stop himself from crying. "She was hit by a car. A few witnesses stayed with her until the ambulance arrived and said she was getting off the bus when a car came around and ran the traffic light. She must have been on her way to work.
I internally kick myself. She should have been driving the car that I bought for her. But she was too stubborn to keep it. And then it occurs to me. Ray called me. He probably doesn't know that his daughter and I are no longer together. I decide not to enlighten him. "What did the doctors say?" I ask him.
"They haven't said anything yet. The doctors are working on her now. Oh Annie, please be okay."
I put my hand on his shoulder. I'm not sure what made me do that. I don't usually provide physical comfort for anyone. Only Ana. "She has to be okay" I offer.
