A/N: Hello BVB and MCR fandom.

First off, killjoys, don't kill me because of Gerard. BVB Army, don't kill me because of CC. RageandLove01 is watching you ;).

Anywho, this fic comes a lot from the heart. I remember hearing stories about my friend who faked her abused a bit. She told me her mother beat her; I haven't heard about it since. I though remember my mother talking about being in an abusive relationship. I love my mother dearly at points. I just don't know how she made it through alive. I heard my friends talk about their friends in couples like this. I heard my own friend get punched by her boyfriend. It scares me and I hope I never get in one. This fic is to all of you who have developed this fear. Just know that someday you'll find someone who will love you the way you are.

Chapter 1 you know you got everybody fooled

Christian Coma

You were in sex education at point. You were taught the edification of relationship. You learned about straight and homosexual ones; you learned how one can be sexually and one cannot. You were taught about rape and abuse and how it can happen to anyone. Well, I am that anyone.

Of course, no one thinks we can be in this situation. Some people think it happens for a reason. I don't at all. If this happened for a reason, then what reason at all? Why am I haunted by this every single day? I don't know exactly why. I just know it's the hardest thing to ever get out of.

I thought he was sweet. The first time we met, his hair was red. A smirk was all I needed for him to cast a spell. I was the victim; I didn't want to be. I don't want to be. I want to get out, dead or alive.

On tour, I try to be the tough and funny one. Every night though, I'm stuck in our bathroom, crying. Every moment of every tour I don't want to let go. I don't want to leave; I want to be on stage, drumming my heart out. I want to be by fans and the band who love me. When tour ends, I find myself trying to break away from the band. I can't though because I know when I step through the house, something will break, mentally or physically.

Let me indorsed you to the "love one". His name is Gerard Way. He's sweet to every fan girl and his fucking band. To me, he hates me, now. Back then, before he hit up on drinking, I was the apple of his eyes. I would be there to comfort him; I would love to kiss him and hug him. I would think about him in a lovely dovey way and show off about him to the band. Now, the only way to think of him is through fear.

Ever since he started drinking, I was his prey. I was the one who got the aftermath of everything. I was torment by anyway you can think of it. His favorite was to just slap me and get me to have sex with him. It works every time; if I said no, I would be dead, literally.

I would love to get out; I know that's hard. Were you paying attention in sex ed? The worst part about being in a bond like this is getting out. I pray to get out; I would beg to get out. I want to be out ever since he became different. I want I just…

I'm away now though. I'm on tour with Black Veil Brides, the recent band I just joined with. After their drummer, Sandra, dropped, they offered me the job. I of course joined it; it meant more time for me be away from my nightmares and torture. The band consists of the lead singer, Andy Six or Biersack, guitarists, Jake Pitts and Jinxx, and bassist Ashley Purdy. I join in just before they recorded their second album; I was pushed onto tour. It made me feel happy and safe.

I'm still on tour. I was finishing up an AP tour then going on Warped tour. I'm farther and farther away. Gerard is on tour with his band; you have heard of My Chemical Romance right? Well, they are on a tour away from us. Gerard texts me; it's nothing but bullshit.

We just got off stage in New York City; the other band is in Canada. "That was fucking awesome," Jinxx screamed backstage.

I smirked to him. "Great job, guys!" Andy looks at all of us, "Come on, you fucking morons, let's go back on the bus."

The bus was our plan to meet up. It's where we re group because before that we're meeting fans. I went out first. I heard the screaming fans.

"CHRITIAN COMA!"

"CC!"

"GREAT JOB TONIGHT!"

"Thank you guys," I screamed as the bus door opened. "You guys are fucking awesome!" I jumped in. After I got in, Ashley hopped up behind me.

"You did awe- inspiring, CC." Ashley sits down at a booth. I go to grab my phone. I went to twitter.

NYC! Thank you for the support and love! Kicking it out for a while with AshleyPurdy on the tour bus before the others come.

I got a text come in from Gerard.

I miss abusing the shit out of you. You should be closer. You're leaving tonight; you're fucking lucky, Coma. I would be putting you in a coma now.

Great, like that didn't kill me. My smile was still on; I wanted Ashley to see that I was happy. A couple minutes afterwards, Ashley spoke up. "Did Gee just text you?"

Sadly…"Ya, he told me he's getting off stage now, too." Ashley smiles to me. "You are fucking perfect out there, Ashes." Ashley recently broke up with Andy. It sucks for me, Jinxx, and Jake because we deal with their fighting. Ashley took it the hardest though. He gets upset easily. Andy still considers them friends at least.

"You know I'm still upset, right?" Ashley whimpers, "I really miss being in one with Andy."

"Hey," I said. "You'll find that perfect guy or girl soon." All the members—well expect Jake and Jinxx—is bi. Jinxx has Sammi of course; Jake was dating a fan named Crystal. She's sweet and kind. Andy been messing around with a fan too, Maddi. I don't like her as much as I like Crystal and Sammi; she's just too much for me.

"Maybe," Ashley said. The Andy then came in. "I mean, I saw this fan girl, Liz, she was talking to me-well, tweeting to be exact. She seems like a pleasure." He smiles, "She's friends with Sandra's girlfriend. You remember Cassie, right?"

I started laughing that filled the bus. "Cassie was one different one. Wasn't she on sugar or something?"

"I don't know what Sandra gave her." Andy spoke up, "They are cute though. Liz is awesome; Maddi hangs around her."

Ashley hid his face from bushing about Liz. I pat his back. I look back to my phone; another text from Gerard.

Babe, you're not texting. Are you purposely ignoring me? Tsk tsk, CC, tsk tsk.

Shivers ran down my back. Andy noticed. "Hey, bro, everything alright?"

I fake nodded. I reply to Gerard.

Jake needed my phone. He was calling Crystal. I'm sorry, please forgive me, Gee.

I gulped. What can Gerard do? He's gone Christian. He's fucking gone! Gone for now though; I'll be back soon with him, throwing me against my will. The will I have lost like hope and confidence.

It was midnight; the rest of the band was asleep. Ashley didn't look like he was. He was in a separate room, writing. Ever since the break up, that's all Purdy will do. He would be crying at points. The crying has stopped at points. Ashley…he doesn't need to know what happens with me and Gerard, but…

I got up. I was wide awake after those text messages. Everything Gerard told me is still hitting me. I'm a whore for loving him. I'm a slut for loving him. I'm a cunt for loving him. I'm a bitch for loving him. I'm a faggot for loving him. I'm a this for loving him. I'm a that for loving him. I'm a victim of abuse and rape for loving him.

I knocked on the door. "Come on," whispers Ashley. I started tearing up; I love this band that I asked hope when needed. They don't need to know why; it feels like they never will. Someday one of them will need to—"CC, oh man, come here, buddy."

He pulls me for a hug. I started breaking down. The words cut through me. I cannot breathe; it's as if they are choking me. The words are Gerard; he spoke them. They hit me as if he was here right now. They are killing me. I keep crying.

"CC, what's going on? Every time were on tour, come on. It's Gerard, isn't it?" I nodded. "Aw, baby, you'll be with him soon."

It's not that way….

A/N: Review please!

Chapter title: Everybody's fool-Evanescence

Fic title: Zoom Into Me- Tokio Hotel