(Introduction:
Many folks have questioned
My decisions o'er the years;
As I never shall repeat this tale,
You'd best open wide your ears.
I will tell you here and now
About some former students.
I don't wish to embarrass them,
so I'll proceed with prudence.)
Neville was the only son
Of late Alice and Frank.
Before he came to Hogwarts School,
His childhood really stank.
He worried for the longest time
That he might be a Squib;
Even with that fear at rest,
He was an awkward kid.
His classmates often teased him
For being dumb and fat
Only one could see the truth;
'Twas I, the Sorting Hat.
Neville's parents belonged to
The Phoenix Order, see;
He almost beat old Harry
To fulfill the prophecy.
Born 'tween July and August,
Yes, he was of that sort;
His folks defied dark magic thrice
And were killed by Voldemort.
Bravery was in his blood
Though he did not perceive it;
I sorted him in Gryffindor
Just so he would believe it.
He asked to be in Hufflepuff
Without any hesistation;
He was intimidated by
The lion's reputation.
He was loyal, it is true,
And patient, friendly, kind;
He would have made a fine old Puff,
Even in my mind.
But I wanted to challenge him
And prove that he was wrong;
I saw that he was very bold
And far above the throng.
With friends like Harry, Ginny, Ron,
And wise Hermione,
I knew that Neville would grow up
To be brave as one can be.
He was very flustered then
And put on quite a show;
But it was just an awkward phase
That he did in time outgrow.
Neville studied hard
And took a knack to magic plants,
Though other kids would laugh at him
And throw them down his pants.
In Neville's seventh, final year,
He did not disappoint;
All of his conditioning
Culminated at one point.
He was a founding member
Of the Army of Dumbledore;
He fought hard 'gainst Slytherin,
Whose traits he did abhor.
He also stood up to his friends
On multiple occasions;
If you don't think that takes some guts,
You haven't had friends in ages.
The Battle was undoubtedly
Neville's finest moment;
He didn't just take the courtyard
But found the strength to own it.
He made a most impassioned speech
And rallied all his friends
When it looked like all hope was lost
And they 'bout to meet their ends.
Then Neville took my ancient sword
HE KILLED A FUCKING SNAKE
So folks all knew that Gryffindor
Had not been a mistake.
Everyone who had made fun
Of him regretted it
'Cause he had saved their asses
And now they felt like shit.
Without him, the Lord Voldemort
Would not have been defeated
No matter what old Harry did;
Then better he was treated.
You can find him here today
Teaching Herbology
And ask him all about it
Or just take it all from me.
Neville's living proof that
Puberty can turn out well,
If only one can find the nerve
To break out of one's shell.
There is no doubt in my mind
That, had he been the one,
He would have found the nerve to do
Whatever must be done.
But of all Neville's courageous deeds,
The most valiant of them all
Was finding the nerve to ask Luna
Lovegood to the Yule Ball.
(A/N: I know that Neville goes to the Yule Ball with Ginny and not Luna, but we all know that Ginny belongs with Harry and Luna belongs with Neville.)
