With the wind blowing through my hair, I sat outside on my back porch and thought about the past year. I sat alone in the darkness as the crickets in the background soothed my muscles and relaxed me just enough to picture the last time we were together. The sex was always good, but before I could ever pretend we'd last, it was a mere satisfaction. You had told me once before that I was the girl that got away, and the more I sit and ponder that one perfect line that every girl wants to hear, I can't help but believe you wanted me to "get away". I'm not saying that we were meant to be, and I know I said things that could have turned you away from me, but I say these things to protect myself. Being alone is something I know well, and for every time you held me at night, the thought of being alone lingered, for tomorrow I'd be alone once again.

There's one distinct time that eats away at me. I woke up around eight in the morning lying next to you. It was cold but your body kept me warm. The night before was fuzzy but the parts that stuck out were of myself and you. Our bodies intertwined as the moon shone in through your bedroom window. I know I always laugh through sex, but I can't help it when whoever I'm having sex with makes me want to scream. We moved around, but not too much, the scruff on your chin always gives me the chills (but in a good way) and the way we get so rough always makes me come back for more. My favorite is when you trace my spine with your finger as we kiss but I can't forget how we end, for it's never the same.

As the night slowly turns to dawn I fall asleep on top of your chest picturing our actions continuing for eternity because I know that tomorrow I'll leave, go home, and end up alone. It's hard for someone of your stature to understand this word I overuse. You have your friends, you have your family and you have those that want to date you; those that desire you and you only. I hope that as you use your line on me, it's not because I was telling you a very sexy dream I had the night before, but because you would like to continue fucking me. I like the way we have chosen to sleep together, and despite any feelings we've had, I'll always tell you my sexual fantasies and I hope you'd tell me yours as well. Don't make things more awkward like as I leave the morning after. I just want you to know, regardless of my feelings towards you, and your nonexistent feelings towards me, sex is nothing but a pleasure everyone needs to experience, and that's all I want to do.