~~*Authors Note*~~
I thought its about time I'd write something sad...so here it is!
And thanks to all those people who've reviewed Reconciliation!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I feel like throwing up.My mouth's awfully dry and I feel like I've been thrown into ice cold water.
It's like tiny bits of ice are seeping into me...I feel cold.
"P-Professor, please excuse me." I say. I know what I said was barely audible but I know Professor Dumbledore heard me somehow.I get up and walk to the door.Each step I take seems to exhaust me,but I feel that I have to get some air. I need to get outside...I need to breath...
I leave Fred and George to comfort Ginny in Professor Dumbledore's office.As I step into the corridor, I hear Harry come up to me and ask what we talked about. His voice sounds high,almost like a squeak,and it hurts my ears. I didn't answer him. I just couldn't.
So I walk past him and Hermione with out saying a word.Everything around me just seems surreal now...my footsteps are ringing inside my ears,making me want to run.But I feel tired.Something inside me is just fighting to get out.And right now I'm not sure if its the tears or if its my lunch.Finally I reach the lake.
So serene and peaceful...and quiet.But it only makes the feeling inside me intensify even more.I lean over some bushes and begin to throw up.I don't know how long I was throwing up,it certainly seemed like ages to me,and by the time I had thrown up everything I felt like I had ran around the castle for the thousandth time.
As I slump down on the ground near some tree,that feeling of coldness washes over me again.I draw up my knees and rest my head on my arms. Professor Dumbledore's words echo in my head...
" -Voldemort has killed Bill and Percy-"
All the other details of what the Professor said,I really can't recall right now..only those six words.And as they echo in my head,like the ocean waves,I realize that the sleeves of my robes are wet from my tears.
But I don't care anymore.
Now I know what that cold feeling was...it was grief. And I am grieving...I'm grieving the loss of two brothers.The shock has long worn off, and I've given up on restraining my tears.They flow freely and willingly down my cheeks and onto my robes. I don't remember crying this hard before.
In fact I don't think I've ever cried this hard before.
Bill, Percy...what did they feel when they died? What was going through their minds at that time? Why were they the ones that had to die? All these question's race through my head,but thats all they are, questions.
I haven't the heart to answer them myself...not now...Now, I just want to let it all out.
Everything ;sorrow,pain,fear,regret...The only thing I hold on to, tightly, are the memories.Everything else erupts from me,as if I had hidden and ignored them for too long.
I continue to sob into my sleeves.Oh,damn! I hate crying. It makes me feel weak and vulnerable, but then, maybe thats exactly what I am. These insecurities, along with my sadness fuel my tears to no end..
I feel someone kneel down beside me.But I don't bother to look up, I know who it is. Its Hermione.She puts her arm around my shoulders and pulls me in to her. And for some reason I feel my chest well up as if it were about to explode and I find myself sobbing even harder into her shoulder.She doesn't say anything, she just holds me tighter.
And I'm grateful that she does, for I feel like I've landed on a net after falling from a jagged cliff.
Relief slowly grows in my heart as I lean on her...and she gently combs my hair back with her fingers.Maybe I had finished draining myself of everything, or maybe it was the fact that I had at last found some comfort, but the next thing I know,I had hushed up and was staring at the castle entrance. My robes were damp and wet with tears,and my hands were slightly shaking.I didn't dare look at Hermione. I didn't want her to see my eyes. The grief and pain in my eyes are not what someone like her should see.
So I murmur faintly," Let's go...".
I stand up from the ground,and I feel that my knee's are somewhat wobbly. Hermione stands up also, and is right by my side. I notice that Harry is standing behind her, with an anxious look on his face.
Harry walks over to me and helps me stand up straight,and asks me if I can stand alright, I just nod .
"Let's go back.." I say again.I'm still trying desperately to keep myself from looking at Hermione's face.
But it doesn't work...She stands right in front of me and her eye's catch my wandering gaze.
Her brown eye's ease and soothe my mind...but I'm still afraid.
She takes my hand and slowly leads me back to the castle.Harry walks silently behind us. I don't think anything could ever make me forget this day completely, although I know I would try to...I guess its natural for us to neglect and shun aside memories that hurt us.
All three of us walk silently back to the castle. Hermione still won't let go of my hand. But I don't object.
It feels good to have her hand wrapped around mine, I feel her warmth spread throughout me.Harry catches up with us and walks by my side. I am now flanked by my friends. It scares me to think, that if someone close to Harry and Hermione should die,they would have to go through, possibly, the same things I've felt today. I would never want anyone to feel that way,especially them.
I push those grim thoughts away and urge myself to walk towards our tower.
I don't feel as cold anymore.The coldness in me has been replaced by something else...and whatever it is,I am sure that it is because of my friends...something that I suppose was born out of their care and concern..
But deep down I am aware of the fact that they won't always be around for me.
We can't always be together...but for now,I savor their company. And I truly hope, that when time comes that either one of them are faced with obstacles,that taunt you and make you feel that you can never get up, they will allow me to be by their side, if not in body then in spirit, just like they what they have done for me today.
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
--Charles A. Beard
~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Disclaimer: All I own is the idea. Yup, thats it.
A/N: Hello. I know..that wasn't much of an ending.Sorry 'bout that.
The idea for this fic was for Ron to cry. I dunno. I just wanted to see him cry...strange? Yes, I admit, it is strange to write a fic based on that kind of thing. But I think it worked out fine.I guess I just wanted to show you guys that despite Ron's cynical character,he can cry too.And well...I guess I was "in character" too much because Ron wasn't the only one that ended up crying....oh well... ;)
And oh, to PIGWIDGEON (hope I spelled that right)! Yup, ENTER KEY= USEFULL. I've got that embedded into me now ;) thanks for the advise. Ok, I've got school tomorrow *ugh* so I gotta go.
(I live in the Philippines you see..time difference thingy,so if it a sunday in morning in america,its late late sunday night here.Confusing? Yeah,I know.But lucky you! You've still got an entire sunday to spend! I've already used up mine...)
So bye for now. Please review!!
.
I thought its about time I'd write something sad...so here it is!
And thanks to all those people who've reviewed Reconciliation!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I feel like throwing up.My mouth's awfully dry and I feel like I've been thrown into ice cold water.
It's like tiny bits of ice are seeping into me...I feel cold.
"P-Professor, please excuse me." I say. I know what I said was barely audible but I know Professor Dumbledore heard me somehow.I get up and walk to the door.Each step I take seems to exhaust me,but I feel that I have to get some air. I need to get outside...I need to breath...
I leave Fred and George to comfort Ginny in Professor Dumbledore's office.As I step into the corridor, I hear Harry come up to me and ask what we talked about. His voice sounds high,almost like a squeak,and it hurts my ears. I didn't answer him. I just couldn't.
So I walk past him and Hermione with out saying a word.Everything around me just seems surreal now...my footsteps are ringing inside my ears,making me want to run.But I feel tired.Something inside me is just fighting to get out.And right now I'm not sure if its the tears or if its my lunch.Finally I reach the lake.
So serene and peaceful...and quiet.But it only makes the feeling inside me intensify even more.I lean over some bushes and begin to throw up.I don't know how long I was throwing up,it certainly seemed like ages to me,and by the time I had thrown up everything I felt like I had ran around the castle for the thousandth time.
As I slump down on the ground near some tree,that feeling of coldness washes over me again.I draw up my knees and rest my head on my arms. Professor Dumbledore's words echo in my head...
" -Voldemort has killed Bill and Percy-"
All the other details of what the Professor said,I really can't recall right now..only those six words.And as they echo in my head,like the ocean waves,I realize that the sleeves of my robes are wet from my tears.
But I don't care anymore.
Now I know what that cold feeling was...it was grief. And I am grieving...I'm grieving the loss of two brothers.The shock has long worn off, and I've given up on restraining my tears.They flow freely and willingly down my cheeks and onto my robes. I don't remember crying this hard before.
In fact I don't think I've ever cried this hard before.
Bill, Percy...what did they feel when they died? What was going through their minds at that time? Why were they the ones that had to die? All these question's race through my head,but thats all they are, questions.
I haven't the heart to answer them myself...not now...Now, I just want to let it all out.
Everything ;sorrow,pain,fear,regret...The only thing I hold on to, tightly, are the memories.Everything else erupts from me,as if I had hidden and ignored them for too long.
I continue to sob into my sleeves.Oh,damn! I hate crying. It makes me feel weak and vulnerable, but then, maybe thats exactly what I am. These insecurities, along with my sadness fuel my tears to no end..
I feel someone kneel down beside me.But I don't bother to look up, I know who it is. Its Hermione.She puts her arm around my shoulders and pulls me in to her. And for some reason I feel my chest well up as if it were about to explode and I find myself sobbing even harder into her shoulder.She doesn't say anything, she just holds me tighter.
And I'm grateful that she does, for I feel like I've landed on a net after falling from a jagged cliff.
Relief slowly grows in my heart as I lean on her...and she gently combs my hair back with her fingers.Maybe I had finished draining myself of everything, or maybe it was the fact that I had at last found some comfort, but the next thing I know,I had hushed up and was staring at the castle entrance. My robes were damp and wet with tears,and my hands were slightly shaking.I didn't dare look at Hermione. I didn't want her to see my eyes. The grief and pain in my eyes are not what someone like her should see.
So I murmur faintly," Let's go...".
I stand up from the ground,and I feel that my knee's are somewhat wobbly. Hermione stands up also, and is right by my side. I notice that Harry is standing behind her, with an anxious look on his face.
Harry walks over to me and helps me stand up straight,and asks me if I can stand alright, I just nod .
"Let's go back.." I say again.I'm still trying desperately to keep myself from looking at Hermione's face.
But it doesn't work...She stands right in front of me and her eye's catch my wandering gaze.
Her brown eye's ease and soothe my mind...but I'm still afraid.
She takes my hand and slowly leads me back to the castle.Harry walks silently behind us. I don't think anything could ever make me forget this day completely, although I know I would try to...I guess its natural for us to neglect and shun aside memories that hurt us.
All three of us walk silently back to the castle. Hermione still won't let go of my hand. But I don't object.
It feels good to have her hand wrapped around mine, I feel her warmth spread throughout me.Harry catches up with us and walks by my side. I am now flanked by my friends. It scares me to think, that if someone close to Harry and Hermione should die,they would have to go through, possibly, the same things I've felt today. I would never want anyone to feel that way,especially them.
I push those grim thoughts away and urge myself to walk towards our tower.
I don't feel as cold anymore.The coldness in me has been replaced by something else...and whatever it is,I am sure that it is because of my friends...something that I suppose was born out of their care and concern..
But deep down I am aware of the fact that they won't always be around for me.
We can't always be together...but for now,I savor their company. And I truly hope, that when time comes that either one of them are faced with obstacles,that taunt you and make you feel that you can never get up, they will allow me to be by their side, if not in body then in spirit, just like they what they have done for me today.
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
--Charles A. Beard
~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Disclaimer: All I own is the idea. Yup, thats it.
A/N: Hello. I know..that wasn't much of an ending.Sorry 'bout that.
The idea for this fic was for Ron to cry. I dunno. I just wanted to see him cry...strange? Yes, I admit, it is strange to write a fic based on that kind of thing. But I think it worked out fine.I guess I just wanted to show you guys that despite Ron's cynical character,he can cry too.And well...I guess I was "in character" too much because Ron wasn't the only one that ended up crying....oh well... ;)
And oh, to PIGWIDGEON (hope I spelled that right)! Yup, ENTER KEY= USEFULL. I've got that embedded into me now ;) thanks for the advise. Ok, I've got school tomorrow *ugh* so I gotta go.
(I live in the Philippines you see..time difference thingy,so if it a sunday in morning in america,its late late sunday night here.Confusing? Yeah,I know.But lucky you! You've still got an entire sunday to spend! I've already used up mine...)
So bye for now. Please review!!
.
