"Amanda, it's not what it seems. Not at all what you are thinking. Why are you acting like this?" Amanda stood there with her arms crossed. "Then what the hell is it Olivia? You just fall into her lips? You had a damn choice not to kiss her back. Come on Olivia, give me a break." Amanda was hurt beyond belief. She and Liv had been together for a few months.
Amanda standing there, Liv was remembering back to a few nights ago. Amanda had been in Chicago, helping out a case there with Voight and his squad. They had sent Erin Lindsay to help out at NYPD. While Amanda had been out there, Liv decided to meet up with Alexandra Cabot. She had been their old ADA back in the day before Amanda came to NY. She left for a bit, only to come back for a short time when Amanda first started. Thats when Liv and Alex had tested things between them. The sex was amazing but the communication wasnt the best for them, so it didnt last. They parted as friends.
When Amanda was in Chicago, Alex had come back. She had asked Liv to dinner, so they could catch up and talk. Liv should have known better, everytime she got together with Alex they ended up in bed. Even if it wasnt planned, it was what happened. This time Liv should have known that it wasnt going to be any different, but she felt that since she was secure in her relationship with Amanda that they could meet for dinner and or drinks, talk a bit and go their separate ways.
So that night when Amanda called was her first mistake. Amanda had asked what she was up to and Olivia had told her nothing and that she was just spending the night in with Frannie. Amanda appreciated that for one Frannie wasnt alone and for two she wasnt in a kennel. Amanda hated putting Frannie in a kennel, took her a few days to get Fran calmed down and back to normal persay after a kennel stay. She told Liv that she missed her, and wished they could talk all night til she was back in her arms. Liv had told her not to worry that she would be soon enough. After they hung up bout an hour later Liv got ready.
So Liv changed up into some jeans and a shirt. Didnt look too dressed up, it was just dinner with a friend. She didnt know what Alex had up her sleeve so to speak. She honestly agreed to dinner with the thought that it was just that, dinner. She left the tv on for Fran. She knew the pup didnt like to be alone. "Hey Frannie girl, I'll only be a couple hours. Then I'll take ya for a walk. Your mama misses and loves you." Frannie barked when Amanda was mentioned. Liv pet and scratched her head.
She got to the restaurant a little while later. Alex was waiting for her. It had been a while since she had seen her but Alex didnt change. She was still the stoic, professional blonde she had always been. Liv had always thought she was beautiful though. Her personality at times not so much but she was a beautiful woman. 'for fucks sake why am I thinking like this? I have a beautiful lady in Amanda.' Alex looked up. "Hi Olivia. Even after all this time you still look beautiful." Alex already had the plan to bed Liv and have their typical one-nighter. Olivia smiled. "Thanks Alex, you are still as beautiful as I remember." Liv's thinking 'jesus christ, knock it off, remember Amanda never left you. Amanda is always there and is just as beautiful if not more.' Olivia sat down and gazed at the menu to see what to order. Her text message alert goes off, Alex cocks her head to the side asking if she needed to go back to the office. Liv told her no, it was just a message from friend. Her thoughts and subconscious went wild 'what...just a friend? what the hell is wrong with you Liv. you're gonna hurt Amanda. this isnt right.' She was telling her damn thoughts to shut up. All she was doing was having dinner. Liv answers the text from Amanda, telling her she loved and missed her.
Liv and Alex sit and chat over their meals. Telling each other what had gone on since they had last spoke. It was like at first how Liv intended it, a friendly chat. All the sudden Alex reached over and grabbed Liv's hand. She didnt hold it tight, just held it. Liv just looked at her. "Alex..." Alex looked back into Liv's eyes. "Liv I'm not gonna lie. I miss you. I miss us. Our nights when we make wild passionate love and then go our own ways. I just dont want to go our separate ways this time." Oh shit, Liv was not expecting that. She didnt know what to say or do. Alex had never been this open with Liv before. Olivia looked at Alex "Um Alex, where is this all coming from? I cant do this with you."
Alex was a lil hurt from that but she didnt let that stop her. She was considered the crusader and she damn well never settled for what she didnt want to hear. So she turned around and kissed Liv. She figured "what the hell?" She didnt have anything to lose. She was hot for sex and who's sex she wanted was the busty brunette she was out with. Liv was shocked at the kiss but she kissed her back. Shit she was lonely too. It just hit her, she didnt want to be alone right now. She was craving the companionship and her girlfriend being hours away just wasnt cutting it. She had to get home and talk to her girlfriend. So she told Alex she'd call or text her later on. Alex told her she'd be waiting.
Olivia hurried home. She was hot and bothered. She needed to take care of her needs. She walked Frannie as quick as she could. Thankfully the pup took quickly to doing her business and they were able to go back inside. Frannie settled on the futon. Liv went in Amanda's room, stripped naked and laid in the bed. She was going to facetime Amanda. Hoping since they were apart they could share some quality time together. She snuggled under the covers and rang Amanda. Amanda picked up on the third ring, thankfully in her hotel room alone. Amanda smiled when she saw Liv on the other line "Hi baby, I miss you." Liv smiled "I miss you too." They talked for a lil bit. Amanda noticed that Liv was in bed. "Baby it's that late already? I didnt think it was over there." Liv purred, "No babe. I just miss you and figured we could have a lil bit of fun." Amanda was game, this was a new fun for them. She made sure her door was locked. She was gonna have a bit of fun with Liv.
Amanda decided to do a strip tease for Liv. She slowly peeled each article of clothing off. Touching herself lightly. She stood there unabashadly naked infront of the phone camera, telling Liv she needed her touch, she wanted her touch. She laid down on the bed, legs spread wide. She took the phone and scaled up and down. Liv loved looking at her girlfriend, it was getting her hot. She started to touch herself. Amanda smirked. "I wish you were touching me Liv. Oh how I wish it was me." Liv smirked and continued to get herself off. Amanda had begun touching herself, needing the release. She had so much sexual tension it was unreal. "Mmm Liv, it needs to be you touching me" This continued on for a while, they both got the release they needed. Each of them sitting in their beds relaxing, basking in the glow of watching each other get off. They hung on the phone for a bit. Then Amanda got tired, so they said their good nights, blew kisses in the phone and told each other good night.
Liv was still up. She was supposed to text or call Alex. Alex had kissed her earlier. Now she was a bit confused in her feelings. She cared deeply for Amanda but the kiss left her questioning what was between her and Alex now. She decided to text Alex, knowing she was an insomniac "Hey Alex, I think we need to talk. Can you meet me for coffee?" Alex looked at her phone going off. She was so happy Liv wanted to meet and talk. Their meeting and talking usually ended up where she wanted. "Sure Liv. How bout the coffee shop by the precinct in about twenty minutes?" Liv text back telling her sure. She looked at Frannie who could tell something was up. "Ill be back girl, I promise. I need to do this so I can move forward with your mama."
Olivia met Alex at the coffee shop. Alex looked like she had been woken up. It was wierd cause earlier she felt drawn to this blonde, and by drawn she meant in a sexual way. Some of that was still there, but not as present. She just looked at Alex and you could see a forlorn love kind of look in her eyes. Alex had taken it upon herself to get Liv a coffee. Liv appreciated it. How Alex adored this woman. After taking a sip of her coffee she spoke. "So Liv, what do you think we need to talk about." Liv looked at her for a minute. She was no Amanda by any means. While Alex was gorgeous, she didnt have what the Georgia born blonde seemed to have. "Alex. We have been friends for a long time. Hell we even were sleeping together occassionally." Alex nodded as she was right in all aspects. Alex held Liv's hand as she began to speak. "Yes, that we have Olivia. There is something between us. It is unexplainable, we are attracted to each other." Olivia looked at Alex. She knew she was going to hurt her and quite possibly even damage their friendship. She didnt want to do that. That was the last thing she wanted to do, but at the same time she couldnt knowingly and willingly hurt Amanda. Alex stood up and sat near Liv this time. She took Liv's gently in her hands and kissed her passionately. Liv didnt expect it, therefore didnt return the kiss. Alex could feel that it wasnt warrented or wanted. "Liv come on you know you feel something." Liv looked at Alex. "Alex I cant do this. I cant be here with you. I am with Amanda. I cant hurt her. I wont hurt her.
Amanda decided to text Liv and be bold. She was going to say what she felt, unbeknownst that Liv wasnt asleep and Liv was out talking to Alex. "Just wanted to say goodnight yet again. I woke up dreaming though I wish it wasnt a dream cause I was in your arms and kissing you. Since I dont want to call and wake you up Ill just write this and hopefully it brings a smile to your face. Liv I just want to tell you how much you mean to me. And though I am afraid to say this cause it is quite soon. Liv I love you. I'll be on the earliest flight home in the morning. XOXO"
Alex looked at Liv. Stunned by her omission. She didnt really think that Liv would turn her down. It wasnt supposed to be like this. "Liv what about us? What about what we could be?" Liv took Alex's hand. "Alex as much as I care about you, and I do care please believe that." Alex looked at her with tears in her eyes, her voice choking up "There's a but coming, I can feel it." Liv shook her head. "Yes there is. Alex I am with Amanda. We've been together a few months and I have strong feelings for her. I dont want to hurt you, but I dont want to do anything to lose her." Alex got up. "I understand Liv. She's a very lucky lady. I hope she knows that." Liv smiled. "Alex I'm a lucky lady too."
Olivia went home. Alex was hurt and decided to text Amanda. Telling her of the kisses her and Liv shared. She knew she was being petty but she really cared about Liv and wanted her. So she figured she would attempt to break her and Liv up so she could have Liv. Not really caring about Liv's happiness right now, she was being selfish and wanting her all to herself. Not realizing how bad she was hurting Amanda. Amanda couldnt answer the text. She closed the text message and saw her wallpaper on her phone was her and Liv kissing. Amanda had tears streaming down her eyes, ended up throwing her phone on the bed. 'how could she do this? why would she do this? I just told her how I felt. I fucking laid my heart on the line. Why?' Amanda fell asleep til her alarm went off.
Frannie heard a noise, she got up and she saw Amanda walk in the door. She went crazy. Missing her mama. Amanda held her finger to her lips "Shhh Frannie. You'll wake up Liv." It was too late, Liv had woken up. "Babe is that you?" Amanda arched a brow, thinking to herself 'so now I'm babe. was I babe when you were sucking face with Alex?' She bit back her thoughts. Maybe Liv would be able to explain. "Yes Liv its me. Just got in." Amanda walked into her bedroom. She saw Liv laying in her bed. Then she thought of Alex's texts. Since Liv was now up. It was a good a time as ever. "Liv we need to talk. Meet me out in the living room please."
With that Amanda walked out to the living room with Frannie in tow. She sat on the far edge of the futon with enough room that Frannie could cuddle with her. She had a feeling she was really going to need her pup right now. Liv got up, pulled her sweats on and walked out to the living room. "Whats on your mind baby?" Amanda told her to sit, Liv listened sitting down on the other side of Frannie. "First off did you get my text message last night?" Liv nodded, she was still in shock that Amanda had told her feelings like that. She hadnt known how to respond so she decided to wait til she saw Amanda face to face. Amanda continued. "I'm going to be blunt here. So did you get that message before or after you were fucking ramming your tongue down Cabot's throat?"
Liv's eyes got wide, her jaw dropping. She stuttered upon answering "How-How-Did-Did-you-find out about that?" Amanda looked at her, glaring "are you going to answer yes or no Liv? Was it before or after you were kissing Cabot?" Liv looked at Amanda "Manda let me explain." Amanda got up. "Stop fucking beating around the bush Liv? Fucking tell me. I deserve that much. Dont ya think?" Liv got up, walked over to where Amanda was. "Babe it was after. Can I explain?" Amanda shoved her back a bit. "Explain then get the fuck out." Liv looked at her "Babe. Please. It's not what you think." Liv wiped her face and began to speak. Telling Amanda everything. Meeting Alex before they had facetimed and then afterwards. "Honest to god Amanda it was two kisses. She initiated them. She told me her feelings were deep for me and at one point mine were deep for her. I did tell her that. But before you flip out cause I can see it in your eyes and your fidgeting hands you are about to. My feelings are much deeper for you. Amanda I told her I couldnt and wouldnt hurt you. That I didnt want to do that. I still dont want to do that. When I got back home and after I walked Frannie I saw your text." She went to put her arms on Amanda and wrap her in a loving hold.
Amanda snarled and backed away yet again. "Dont do that. Dont you touch me. How could you Liv? How fucking could you?" Liv backed off "Amanda nothing else happened. I'm tellng you the truth." Amanda looked at her tears pouring down. "You may be telling me the truth, thats fine Liv but you hurt me and you betrayed me. I'm done talking tonight. It's late I was planning on sleeping in your arms when I got back but you can take the couch. Im not that much of a bitch to make you leave in the middle of the night." Liv looked at her. "Amanda I'm sorry. I'm sorry she kissed me. I was gonna tell you when you got home." Amanda raised her hands up to just say enough. "I'll see you in a few hours Olivia." She snapped her fingers "Come on Frannie. Come lay with mama."
Amanda went into her room, cracking the door incase Frannie wanted to get out and get some water or food. Plugging her phone into her charger, she undressed and got into bed. Tears still spilling from her eyes as she took off the ring Liv had given her and placed it by their pic. "Why did you have to hurt me Liv?" She eventually cried herself into a fitfull slumber. Liv out on the couch could hear Amanda crying. She knew she hurt the blonde that meant the world to her. How could Alex be so cold? She fell asleep crying herself to sleep as well.
