Prologue: The Introduction to the Main Storyline

Bella ate her cereal quietly while looking at her precious Edward Cullen who was also eating cereal. She continued staring dreamily at him; it may have been a year since she got turned into a vampire but Bella was even more in love. The way Edward's bronze hair swayed with the wind and his muscular marble body. Everything about him was just so perfect –

"Why the Hell are you staring at me?" Edward asked with an annoyed voice. "Did I turn into a circus freak again just like I do at every other breakfast?"

Bella happened to think Edward was joking so she laughed her horrible laugh that reminded him of nails scraping down a chalkboard. "Ha *snort* bwa ha *snort* *snort* bwa ha ha *cough* *snort* ha!"

"Oh, your laughter is like the stinging of a thousand hornets into my anus," Edward muttered angrily.

Another joke was the way Bella interpreted it and she slapped his arm playfully. "You are already making me laugh and it's not even seven o'clock yet!"

"Yes, another day of your laughter is another nail in my coffin!" Edward growled. "Oh and I just realized, why are we eating this damn cereal? Shouldn't we be hunting in the woods right now?"

"Nice try," Bella replied playfully. "You know I've decided against drinking blood human or animal. I've been blood-free for six months now and haven't felt any psychotic urges to kill humans or anything else for that matter."

"How could I forget?" Edward replied in mock enthusiasm. "You only mention not drinking blood everyday at breakfast, lunch and dinner. It's getting quite a bit old and keeps dragging on and on…just like us in bed."

"Oh I know right," Bella said cheerfully. "Our love-making lasts for a long time and I can't get enough of you! I mean, when you said you would prefer to do it with a cow instead of me and then said 'now that I think about it, it doesn't really make a difference'? I laughed so hard, I mean for you to make jokes up in the middle of love-making is just great!"

"It was a joke?" asked Edward, genuinely confused.

"Bwa ha ha *snort* ha *snort* bwa ha *piss*" Bella stopped laughing at Edward's 'joke' and then smiled. "I seem to have had a little accident in my panties! You just made me piss myself, that's how funny your jokes are!"

"They're not jokes," Edward growled through gritted teeth. "I despise seeing you and your body has made me vomit on countless occasions. You are a dried up little bitch who is better off screwing a werewolf than any other vampire."

"Ha *snort* bwa ha *piss* ha ha *more piss*" Bella stood up while a trail of urine dripped down her legs and on the tiled floor. "I better change these panties Edward, want to help me remove them?"

Edward suddenly grimaced, ran to the kitchen sink and vomited. "Please…I can't look at your naked body anymore! I might vomit my guts out next time I look!"

Bella was still laughing as she ran outside to the cottage to wash up and change.

"Alice, I just cannot control my feelings any longer," Edward whined angrily. "I hate her so much and she doesn't seem to get the hint that I don't want her anymore!"

Alice nodded and slammed her fist down angrily. "I know, everyone in the family hates her more than anything. Even the Volturi are lower on the hate list than she is!"

"You see, I'm over trying to give her hints that she should leave this house! Carlisle is practically implying that I should kill her and that's that! I mean, she intrigued me in Twilight, then repulsed me in New Moon but I felt bad so I came back, then the slut goes and almost screws a werewolf in Eclipse. I was about to break up with her then but then she insists that we get married and the whole family wanted it! In Breaking Dawn, she gave birth to my very own child! And now this is the new chapter and everyone hates her ever since she killed Esme! And now we have to find an elixir so that we can bring her back to life! Isn't that the whole point of this story?"

"Well I guess it is," Alice pointed out. "All sorts of twists and turns probably await us in this story!"

"Definitely!"

"Maybe even another storyline after Edward!"

"Don't push your luck."