You only know what I want you to
It was Kol who originally compelled Violet to forget the horrors he had inflicted upon her. Klaus reveled in what he was too much to grant such a courtesy, so it always fell to Kol to look in Violet's eyes and say, You won't remember me biting you. You won't remember me striking you and throwing you to the floor. You won't remember me when you awake.
Only Kol had never been brave enough to make her forget him entirely. He liked to think there was a reason she returned to him the way she did. He liked to think she would return to him even if she knew he was a monster. He liked the idea so much, he did not compel her as he normally did at the end of their latest tryst.
Eyes wide, Violet had stared at Kol's blackened eyes and elongated canines with horror. Her body had trembled as he stood before her waiting. That was what terrified her. The waiting. If she was going to die, she wanted it to be quick a merciful.
"You are not running," he had said, "Nor are you screaming."
"Should I?" she asked, watching his face return to the one she was more familiar with. He stepped forward and placed a hand against her neck, thumb rubbing over her collar bone. His eyes did not meet hers, instead they remained fixated on the point of her neck where her pulse could be seen thrumming away.
"I would prefer it if you did not," he said. He did not make her forget he was a vampire, but he did make her forget what he had said. He liked it better when people ran. It made the chase all the more fun.
I know everything you don't want me to
"Why do you spend so much time with me, little one?" Kol had been passing through the garden after a late night sampling the local delicacies when he heard Finn's question. There was only one person he referred to as 'little one,' and for whatever reason, Kol found himself pausing to hear the young girl's answer.
"Because I like you," she said with the honesty only a child possessed, "Because you are nice and good and… I like you." Finn had chuckled, a rare sound Kol locked away in his heart. He would tell Klaus and Rebekah about it later and should Elijah ever return, he would tell him of the news as well. Finn laughed, he would say, And it was all because of that Grecian girl he is so found of. We should turn her.
"I am not a good man," Finn had argued in the quiet way that enabled him to always win an argument. But Violet, forever stubborn and more insightful than a little girl should be, was relentless.
"You are good," she argued, "Very good. I can see it." Kol was perplexed at her answer and stepped closer until he could see her ebony locks braided in a mussed line down her back. She was facing away from him, but Finn noticed him without breaking his focus on the girl. A girl who was currently running her hands over his face as if she were trying to memorize the lines that made him up.
"Right here," she said, touching the corners of his eyes, "And here," her fingers traced his mouth, "And right here." This time, her hand dropped to where his heart was, a heart that no longer beat and yet was the thing, if removed, that would cause his existence to cease.
"My heart is good?" Finn had asked and both brothers had watched as Violet shook her head violently.
"Deeper than that," shesaid.
"Deeper than my heart?" She had nodded and pressed her hand harder against his chest.
"Like a house," she had said, "With a foundation. You may tear the house down and rebuild, but the foundation is the same. The foundation is good."
There was a belief at the time that light eyed individuals such as Violet were gifted with a second sight. It had often caused problems from the young girl when she was away from Rose and the other creatures of the night who believed such a myth to be insanity. And yet, in that moment, Kol found himself believing. He always found himself wishing the small child in his brother's arms would turn to him and say, "You are good. I can see it."
The less I give the more I get back
For a very long time, at least by human standards, Kol was not so cruel to Violet. It was only when Klaus turned his attentions to her and she accepted them did Kol's mistreatment of her escalade.
"Why must you be so cruel?" she had demanded of him one evening as she stood in his room after pulling on what remained of her gown. He watched her, enjoying the way she winced as the fabric of the shredded gown touched skin mottled with bruises. Bruises he was the cause of.
"Why torture me?" she asked in that quiet way of hers. He often wished she would yell the way his other lovers did. He wanted to see her angry, yet she denied him that. He supposed he could compel her, but knew it would not be genuine. Why would she deny him such a trivial, human emotion?
"Why do you not yell?" he countered, "Why are you never cross with me?" She stared at him, those pale gray eyes that had remained the same as she turned from a child into a woman. From his brother's beloved 'little one' to his own little toy. Those eyes could see the world inside a man. Those eyes could melt castle walls.
"My emotions are all I have," she had confessed, "You have taken everything else."
"And yet you return, why?" He stepped closer and enjoyed how she did not step away. There was no fear in her. She had met the monster in him head on and would not fear it now. And, as he sometimes hoped, perhaps she could see beyond the monster and see the man who had once been there.
"Finn told me anyone could change," she said, "I am waiting for the change." He struck her hard enough to send her falling to the floor. She bit her lip, but did not cry out and he wrenched her to her feet by pulling at her hair. There was a gasp of pain, but no pained sound fell from her lips. She was too strong for that.
"That is why I torture you," he hissed, "You think you can save me." He pulled her close and tilted her head back, staring into those swirling gray eyes that were as pale as Death.
"I cannot be saved."
He made her forget that too. He didn't want her to stop trying.
Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
He struck her once. Once too hard. Her jaw had shattered and her screams of pain had soaked into the walls and played back to him when he was alone. He did not sleep in that room, eventually moving from it entirely when he realized he could do nothing to remove the sound of her screams.
The pain only intensified as he forced her to drink his blood, an act that almost killed her as she joked on the thick, sticky liquid. But eventually, she had healed and he had offered to fetch Rose to take her home. Her slap had not physically harmed him, but inwardly, he felt the pain of having your jaw shattered into a thousand pieces by a monster.
That was the first and last time Violet hit him. It hurt so much he made her forget.
I don't have a choice but I still choose you
"Kol?" Rebekah stepped into the room via the hole in the wall only to find her brother, her partner in crime, settled on the floor in a pile of rubble with a decaying and blue Violet in his arms. Evidence of his affection was still drying on his cheeks and Rebekah silently promised to keep his secret. Kol did not like outward affection. He did not like showing weakness. Rebekah had the feeling she had just walked in on his breaking moment.
"Can I make her forget, Bekah?" he had asked, voice raw from the screaming that had ceased seconds ago. His screams had absorbed into the wall and were now playing back for him to hear. He wondered if Klaus would be terribly upset if he burned the house to the ground.
"She is dead, Kol," the blonde Original had said, watching Kol's grip tighten on Violet's prone body as he pulled the young vampire closer to his chest.
"But can I make her forget that?" he whispered, "Can I make her forget all the wrongs I committed? Can I make her forget me?"
"If you could," she asked, "Would you?" New tears fell as Kol shook his head and he buried his face in Violet's hair to hide his weakness. Rebekah slipped away soundlessly and left the lovers to their grief.
Kol had never been brave enough to compel Violet to forget him. He had never been brave enough to admit why that was.
He loved her. In his own, twisted way he loved her. And he had killed her.
I always will I always will
a/n: I always get lectured on how you can't kill original characters. Ever read a Russian novel? of course you can. Anyhow, I own Violet and her corpse, but I don't own Kol, which isn't too bad because I really don't want to own Kol. Nathaniel Buzolic on the other hand…
Fave, flame, faint.
[song fic inspired by "Poison & Wine" by The Civil Wars]
oxox
