An art trade fic for someone on Deviantart. Heads up for alcohol and slight streaking and general crack.
"Oh my Gott, how could he not know that he was doing that?" Julchen howled with laughter which was joined by the louder than normal laugh of the sweet and shy Madeleine Williams.
"I KNOW! And we had the camera right in front of him and nobody noticed, eh?" Her blonde pigtails swayed as she was moving her body while laughing.
"What's goin' on up there? That doesn't sound like studyin' to ME."
"Crap, Alfred's coming!" Madeleine hissed as quick stomping footsteps were coming up the stairs. "Hide the computer!"
"I can't just put it on my lap, this thing's too big! Wait, I know!" Julchen hopped on the table, putting the laptop under her crossed legs. She patted her leg to motion Madeleine to put her legs up which she did and she brought some books onto the table next to her and put one in her lap and opened it up. Once Alfred came into the room, the girls turned their gaze to him with light smirks on their faces.
"What are you two doing? And what's with those glasses?" He pointed at Julchen who was wearing a pair of spiffy reflective sunglasses.
"Makes me look awesome. 'Nuff said." She smirked as she lowered them to reveal her captivating heterochromatic light blue and pink eyes and she moved her hand on Madeleine's ankle.
"Hey hey hey! Personal space! Hands to yourself."
"We're studying and working on our science project, Alfred. See? Canadian History." Madeleine showed him the textbook she had. "And you can chill out, I'm responsible enough to be in a relationship so you don't have to be in my face every two minutes when I'm with my girlfriend."
Alfred pointed to his eyes with two fingers then pointed to Julchen as he backed out. They waited until his thundering footsteps were faint. Madeleine frowned and turned her head back to the door.
"Alfred, I KNOW you're at the bottom of the stairs. Is a little privacy too much to ask for?"
"He's not there, Maddie." Madeleine put her hand up and smirked.
"Keep moving Al. Don't make me get the army of Gilbirds lead by Kumajiro." There was a moan then more footsteps fading.
"You go girl." Julchen smiled. "I knew there was a reason I fell for you Birdie~" They exchanged a quick peck.
"Alrighty, back to business." Madeleine sat up normally. They uncovered the laptop and opened it back up. Julchen was typing madly on it while Madeleine was fighting back giggles.
"How many views do you think we'll get?" Julchen grinned from ear to ear.
"I'd say we'll crack a hundred thousand."
"Ah HA! I knew you two weren't working!" Alfred shouted. The girls whipped their head around and he was standing on the tree outside the window and he was making his way in through the window. "Let me see your so called 'Science Project'. If I don't see nothin' then you are out of here." He pointed at Julchen. Madeleine and Julchen shifted their eyes to each other and their grins grew.
"Okay. Remember, you asked for it." Madeleine smiled sweetly at her brother. Julchen zoomed in and hit play.
Xxxxx
The video showed the start of a karaoke bar with most of the usual gang in view. By usual gang, this meant Alfred, Alice, Francis, Antonio, Ivan, Yao, Feliciana, Ludwig, Lovino, Leon, Kiku and Yong Soo. Julchen was showing off in front of the camera with a seductive pose with Gilbird on her head.
"Hey, don't show off just yet!" Madeleine's voice could barely be heard over the white noise. "Start the introduction!"
"Yo! What's up everybody? Our project is titled 'Idiots, alcohol and peer pressure'. Tonight, we are about to prove how efficient the 'just say no' technique really is and how people can be easily suggestive while under the influence. Of course, we are the sober drivers. And we are awesome because we're gonna be the only people with vomit in the backseat of their car! Whoo!"
Xxxxx
Alfred looked at Julchen and gave her a 'What the hell is this?' look.
"Hey, give the public what it wants." Julchen smirked.
Xxxxx
"Exhibit A: We ask someone what they think of how the 'just say no technique' should be handled." Madeleine turned the camera to herself as she was explaining it. There was a loud "YO WEST! I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING!" That could be heard loud and clear over the white noise and Madeleine flipped the camera back around to see Julchen sitting next to her brother at the bar seats.
There was some static and soon Ludwig was on screen by himself.
"So Ludwig, how hard is it to refuse alcohol when you're the designated driver?" Madeleine asked. Ludwig looked straight at the camera with a serious expression.
"It can be difficult at times, trying to avoid that temptation. But the thought of other people's lives are at stake and are in your hands overcomes the temptation. I think that's how this situation should be properly handled."
"Hey! Julie!" Madeleine flipped the camera around to herself again.
"Exhibit B: How the 'just say no technique' actually is played out by the majority of the people." Then she flipped it to Antonio and Francis who just met up with Julchen. They were holding bottles of beer for themselves and offered one to Julchen.
"Your usual, milady?"
"Hell yeah! And hands off, Francy Pants, I'm a committed woman now!"
"…No comment on how this was handled." Madeleine sighed.
"Relax Maddie, I've got a plan!" Julchen winked. There was some static and Julchen was in front of the screen holding up a beer bottle. "With my awesomeness, I swapped the beer with apple juice but they don't know that. Scout's honour! And now for the second portion of our research: How suggestible people are under the influence. Normally people have enough sanity not to do stupid stuff by themselves but if their friends get wasted too, then no one's the bigger fool. I'm going to pretend that I'm wasted for the sake of this video. I hope you'll pay attention because chances are I won't be able to do this again."
After a few minutes of Julchen was seen drinking with Antonio and Francis, laughing their heads off. Antonio and Francis were downing their drinks and were going for seconds. While Julchen was slowly taking hers and says that she was still working on hers. Madeleine was giggling in the background and said 'Showtime' loud enough for Julchen to hear. Julchen turned her head to Antonio who was starting to slur his words.
"You know what would really spice up this shindig, Tonio? One of those… What'chu macallit? … One of them ladies with those hula skirts and a fruit hat." Julchen started slurring her words on purpose. Madeleine was desperately trying to hold her sniggers behind the camera and she whispered 'Let this work, please let this work…'
"Si… But they ain't so great."
"You think you could do better Tonio?" Julchen grinned mischievously. There was some static then Antonio came out saying 'Arrrrriba!' Loudly in his Spanish accent while wearing a hula skirt, leis, a bikini top and of course, the fruit hat.
Xxxxx
Madeleine paused the movie as Julchen and Alfred were howling with laughter.
"Oh my God! That was BRILLIANT! Where'd you get that outfit?" Alfred was clutching his stomach.
"That's what's so great about being awesome. You have everything you need at any time."
Xxxxxx
Madeleine played the movie again and Antonio started thrusting his hips with a huge goofy smile on his face while he was doing a bad imitation of the flamenco. He could've done better if he wasn't drunk.
Xxxxxx
"The next person we chose is kinda shocking." Madeleine said to Alfred through a fit of giggles.
Xxxxxx
After Antonio's extravagant display, there was some static and this time, Madeleine was on screen smiling sweetly.
"Now for contestant number two." There was some very loud smirking from Julchen which Madeleine frowned (more like pouted) at her and spread her arms out. "What?"
"We've been over this Maddie, it's VICTIM."
"But… That sounds a little cruel. Oh, whatever… Our next victim is going to be Lovino Vargas."
Xxxxxx
Alfred paused the movie and raised an eyebrow at Madeleine.
"Lovino? That's a good one. Where'd you find a look alike? The real one would rip you two to shreds."
"No, this is the real deal. He and I are on fairly good terms." Madeleine said calmly. "Although after this, I had to thoroughly apologize which he accepted."
Xxxxxxx
Julchen turned the camera to herself.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please do not try this at home. The wild Lovino is very dangerous and tends to throw anything in his hand, which is usually tomatoes or hard objects, usually at less than awesome guys. He is less provoked when a female specimen approaches him but ladies, unless you want to take a chance of your expensive clothes being stained with tomatoes, leave this to professionals."
The camera was turned back to Madeleine who was talking to Lovino.
"…Apparently too much. If I start seeing the tomato bastard in drag, in the fruit lady's costume for crying out loud, then that may be a little overboard. I mean, that bastard got us both the same drinks and look what it made him do! I have enough sanity left not to join him."
Julchen muttered "Dammit, we should've got matching costumes!"
"You know Lovino, I heard somewhere that you have a very good singing voice. Would you do a little song for a buddy?"
"Uh… I uh…" Lovino turned red. "No."
"Pretty please?" Madeleine put on her puppy eyes and Julchen squeed and commented how adorable she was and was muttering on how Lovino was screw as NO ONE could say 'no' to that face.
Lovino took a large swig of whatever drink he was condemning and huffed an "Oh, alright. But just this once."
He took a deep breath and started singing in the best opera voice anyone has ever heard. He was singing 'Il Sole Mio' a famous song from Southern Italy and left the people who were watching speechless. Madeleine sqeeed and embraced him tightly.
"T-t-t-t-that was beautiful Lovino! The best thing I've ever heard!" The movie paused by itself with Julchen's rapid voice over it. "Opera voice from booze, not guaranteed." Then it resumed playing.
Julchen imitated a British accent as she approached Lovino. "That was atrocious, absolutely atrocious. One of the worst voices I've ever heard."
Lovino's head shot up at Julchen and took a swipe at her.
"What the hell do you know you *beep* I'll *beeeep* *beep beep beep beeeeeeeep* and shove it *beep beep beeeeep beep* so you better keep *beeeeeeeep*!"
There was static and the next scene was Francis was on the karaoke stage starting to strip his shirt singing a VERY off key 'I'm Too Sexy'.
"This is a bad example." Madeleine said behind the camera. "Nothing really different. He can't sing and he does that all the time."
"You're right, let's move on." Julchen said.
There was more static and this time, Alfred and Alice were on screen. Alice was rambling about how Alfred couldn't hold his liquor and beat her at a drinking contest as people in the UK were famous for holding their liquor. And that was backed up by her looking like she's almost going to pass out.
Xxxxx
"Trying to take advantage of my girlfriend? Have you no shame?" Alfred smirked.
"Oh no, that would be unladylike. We would NEVER dream of such things." Julchen leaned back in her chair.
"But nothing says that we can't take advantage of our siblings, now can we, brother dearest?" Madeleine smirked.
Xxxxx
"And now, for the grand finale! Showtime, Maddie!" The camera showed Madeleine a fair bit of distance away from Alfred and she shouted "Hey Alfred! Ever heard of the Naked Cowboy?"
"Hu-wha? Heard of him?" Alfred slurred. "I AM him!" In an instant he tore off all of his clothes save for cowboy boots that he was wearing. And he started singing "Cadillac Ranch" then Madeline started singing "Last Saskatchewan Pirate" loudly to throw him off and he started singing it too.
Madeleine and Julchen were howling with laughter and Julchen tripped over a chair which made the camera fall but she made the video roll until Alfred was done his song.
Then the screen switched to Madeleine and Julchen standing side by side to each other in a white room.
"So, in conclusion to our findings, it is very hilarious to watch anyone to stupid things while they're hammered." Julchen grinned.
"But the acts that they do are affected by what your relation is to them, how much they drank…" Madeleine counted with her fingers.
"And whether or not they think that you're loaded too. Hope you all enjoyed this epic awesomeness and remember, if you do something like this, please read our tips of what not to do…"
"And always have a designated driver." Madeleine finished.
Gilbird flew into the lens as it faded to black and it rolled to credits. Along the credits was 'Was able to post with full permission of all participants.'
Xxxxx
Alfred just stood there wide eyed and his jaw was to the floor while the girls were clutching their stomachs with laughter.
"How could you?" He shrieked at Madeleine. "If I knew what you were up to, I would have never said 'Yeah, whatever and let you post it!'"
"Oh come ON, Alfred, it was hilarious! And how else do you think I got Lovino to forgive me? And the others were totally cool with it too."
"You-you showed it to him?" Alfred turned three shades of white.
"Actually, our entire Psych class. I told you, it was our project." Madeleine grinned from ear to ear. "You'll get over it eventually."
"Yeah, I suppose. Anyway, Alice got to see the hero in all his glory." He smirked cheekily. "So what did you get on it?"
"Our prof was originally going to give us a D because it wasn't one of the topics that he posted on the website but bumped it to an A for gutsy moves, humour, supporting designated drivers and the 'don't try this at home' crap, and a sworn oath that we would never do something like this again." Julchen said as Gilbird moved from her shoulder to make a nest in her hair.
"But still… Maddie! Two wrongs don't make a right! Couldn't you have used some other film of me?" He turned back to Madeleine.
"True two wrongs don't make a right but…" Madeleine pulled out a scientific calculator and started mumbling calculations. "Times how many incidents per week, times fifty two, divide by this… square root that… This many incidents against me in our lifetime vs. that one video I did with you in it. I'd say we're even now."
"Fine."
I had a bit of a hard time what I could come up with leading up to that but then I thought maybe I could write from that point on. I had a hard time writing this myself because I was laughing so hard at my ideas. Hope you guys like! I do not own Hetalia or Nyotalia
I had a bit of a hard time what I could come up with leading up to that but then I thought maybe I could write from that point on.
I had a hard time writing this myself because I was laughing so hard at my ideas.
Hope you guys like!
I do not own Hetalia or Nyotalia
