I have many trans* friends, and we often talk about what life will be like for them when they are done transitioning. I thought it would be interesting to apply that to Adam, since on Degrassi they never speak about HOW or WHEN he'll transition. Of course our talks are always fluffy, and so here's a fluff warning! (Hope everyone in the States had a good Thanksgiving! Enjoy your leftovers!)
Just breathe, just breathe, just breathe - just. breathe. Adam was at the beach. Adam was at the beach with his girlfriend. Adam was at the beach with his girlfriend and two best friends. He had finally had chest surgery. Today would be the first day that the public saw Adam's real, healed chest.
Fiona played with the bottom of his t-shirt. A coy smile played on her lips as she started to lift it. "No," he practically growled. She stopped, and took his hand to lead them away from their group.
"Adam. Adam, look at me." He looked up into Fiona's concerned eyes. He saw them glistening, the way they always did when her compassion bubbled over and threatened to pour out of her. "Baby, it's been 6 months. Nobody can even find Gracie when they look at you." He flinched at the mention of Gracie, but she went on. "6 months, countless shots of testosterone and now you're fully healed from surgery." Her hands slid down his now flat chest, pausing at his abs. She leaned up to whisper in his ear, "You have an amazing body. Show everyone how lucky I am." With a wink, she walked away to join Eli and Clare.
6 months ago, he had surgery to remove his breasts. 8 months ago, he had started injecting himself with testosterone. He had masculine muscles, his voice had deepened, and after 5 months his face needed shaving. What was wrong with him? Gracie is still here, he thought. It didn't matter that her hair was gone, her breasts were gone...Gracie was half his life, but she was also his past. How could he let go of her?
He joined Fiona on the blanket she had set up in the sand. Eli and Clare were out in the water, and trying to wave them in. He waved them off and turned to her. "It's the scars."
Fiona reached out to hold his hand. "Everyone has scars."
"Everyone will know."
"No one is really looking."
"But I -"
"You don't even know what they'll be thinking."
He dropped his head in his lap, "Fiona - what if they know? What if they try to bring Gracie back?"
She touched his face and brought her lips to his. After a quick peck, she stared into his eyes and said, "I won't let that happen. I love Adam, not Gracie. And if she even tries to come back - I'll always fight for Adam."
I know how to heal. He smiled to himself, waved over at his friends in the water. With Fiona right beside him, Adam took off his shirt. Showing his scars to the world, he felt as naked as the day he was born. Only this time, he was born the right way.
