Perfect Triangle: The Novel
By Varric Tethras

Chapter Ten – At Long Last, Love

Ben wakes very early in the morning, still half drunk to find himself in Andy's bed, with one of Andy's arms sprawled across his chest. He doesn't remember passing out but waking up next to Andy has happened a lot in the many years they've known each other – when they were just friends and when they weren't - so he's really not all that surprised or concerned to find himself in the same position again.

He does take a moment to enjoy the closeness, sliding his arm under Andy until he's pulled the blond into his arms, tucking his head under Ben's. He's missed Andy so much the year and half he was away in Africa and having him home again has eased the dull ache in his chest he didn't realize he'd been carrying.

Ben doesn't remember a time when he hasn't loved his best friend, wanted him; his whole adult life can be broken up into chunks of time spent "with Andy" and "without Andy". There was a point when he thought he was doomed to be alone for the rest of his life, always waiting for Andy to come back, never being enough for the other man to stay. And after an intense and ultimately disastrous relationship with Dan (who was too possessive and controlling) he'd almost resigned himself to living a solitary life with the occasional meaningless fling.

Then he met Gareth.

Gareth worked his way into Ben's life and into his heart, honest and good natured; sometimes awkward but always endearingly sincere. Captivated by his warm brown eyes, mop of dark hair and beard and rugged good looks, Ben had fallen hard the first time they met on a blind date set up by Gareth's friends. He could tell that first night that something had happened to make Gareth gun shy; he'd been obvious in his interest but hesitated to take their relationship any further. So they became friends and hung out for beer and poker and Ben found that for the first time since he was 15, he could picture being happy with someone who wasn't Andy.

And he was happy; when they finally started dating Ben knew they'd be great together. There were none of the highs and lows inherent in the ongoing saga of Andy & Ben and for the first time in a long time, he had someone who was devoted to him, who wanted to stay.

When Andy came back into their lives he'd been consciously optimistic that they would finally be able to put their long and checkered past behind them. Instead, Andy had stood there in the dark, under a perfect night sky and told Ben he wanted to come home, that he was finally ready to give Ben what he's wanted his whole life.

And if that wasn't enough to give him a head and a heart ache, Gareth had revealed his own feelings for Andy that had shocked and devastated him. It would just be Ben's luck to have the only two men he's ever loved want each other and leave him out in the cold.

Andy shifts in his arms and murmurs something incoherent as Ben watches him. He runs his hands through Andy's hair and presses a kiss to his forehead, accidentally waking the blond from his sleep.

"Ben? How're you feeling?"

"Still drunk I think," he chuckles as Andy pulls them both into a sitting position. "How'd we end up in your bed?"

Andy laughs as he reaches over to grab the aspirin and water from the nightstand and hand it to Ben. "I sent you to the spare room and came back to find you passed out in here." He arches an eyebrow and leers, "You always do tend to end up in my bed don't you?"

He wants to laugh and cry at the same time; their banter is so normal and right and makes him deliriously happy and yet the situation they're in is so messed up he doesn't know what to do or think. So he settles for a wry smile and swallows the aspirin and half the bottle of water before he asks, "Is Gareth still here?"

"I sent him home," Andy's expression changes and he looks serious, eyeing Ben's reaction as he continues. "I think you and I need to sort some things out on our own."

Ben sighs, all the fight from last night having drained out of him. "There's nothing to sort out. You and Gareth want each other; he's in love with you. I'm not going to stand in your way."

There's an incredulous look on Andy's face like the blond can't believe what he's hearing. "Don't I get a say in any of this? I'm not a toy for you to give away just because you don't want it."

"You think I don't want you?" Now it's Ben's turn to be stunned. "You think I don't want you? I've spent my whole life wanting you! You are the one who left, who kept leaving me every chance you'd get." He closes his eyes and tilts his head against the headboard. "I don't want Gareth to stay with me out of obligation. He fell in love with you and he probably wouldn't have given me a second look if you hadn't left for Africa. And don't even try to deny that you love him too. I've seen the way you look at him."

Andy just shakes his head, "You know what, you're right. You're right about a lot of things. Yes, I left. I kept leaving you - for my career, to save the world. But Ben, I always came back." He grabs Ben's hand and laces their fingers together. "I'm not going to deny my feelings for Gareth but I didn't come back from Africa for him." He tilts Ben's head so he can look into his eyes as he continues, "I love you. I've always loved you. I know I didn't make us a priority and I'm sorry for hurting you. But you have to believe me when I tell you it was never because I thought you weren't worth it." Andy leans over and places a gentle kiss on Ben's lips. "You're my whole life."

They sit in silence for a while, hand in hand as the sunlight starts to drift in through the curtains. Ben doesn't know what to say – he's waited a long time to hear these words from Andy and he wants to tell him yes; that he wants nothing more than to wake up every morning in his arms and go to sleep every night holding his hand.

"I wouldn't ask you to give up Gareth to be with me." Andy's voice is quiet when he finally speaks. "I know I don't have any right to ask you for anything and I wouldn't hurt you or Gareth that way." He gazes intently into Ben's eyes, "I could leave. I don't officially start at the hospital for another 2 weeks. I can speak to Gareth's Dad and tell him I've changed my mind. Look for a job in L.A. or back in London with Wynne."

Ben is starting to lose his temper and he knows he's going to set Andy off with what he says next. "So your answer to all this is to run away again. Don't you think you owe it to me and to Gareth to work things out? Figure things out with both of us? You're really going to sail back into our lives and turn it upset down and then just fuck off and leave us both with our hearts broken? Again?"

Andy's eyes are flashing as he hops out of bed. "You know that's not what I meant you asshole! I know things were going great with you two before I showed up! I'm giving you an easy out so you don't have to choose! I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to hurt Gareth!"

"It's too fucking late for that don't you think? No matter what we do somebody's going to get hurt! Or are you saying you'd be fine if you just left? It wouldn't matter to you? Gareth and I can go back to the way things were and you can just continue fucking your way around the world?"

"Fuck you." Andy heads for the bedroom door, eyes narrowed and fists clenched, trying to reign in his temper. He's got it half way open before Ben grabs him and slams him against the door, pressing himself against Andy to hold him still. Andy tries to push him off, "What the hell do you want from me?"

"I want you to fight for me!" Ben has Andy by the shoulders, his face inches away from the blond who looks pretty angry. It reminds him of every fight they've ever had over the years, with adrenaline pumping fast and furious until it inevitably ends with the two of them fucking it out of their systems. "I want you to fight for us! You can't show me how much you want me? Your words mean nothing! If you want me to believe that you're sincere you're going to have to back it up with your actions!"

Andy looks livid and for a moment, Ben thinks he's going to throw a punch...or drag him in for a heart stopping kiss. They're both breathing heavily, muscles tense and Ben can't take his eyes off of Andy's mouth. With the amount of adrenaline in his system Ben doesn't even mind it if Andy wants to punch him – they've had their share of fights both as boys and men – but he'd much rather taste those gorgeous lips. Because he wants to kiss Andy, so much; has never wanted to stop kissing the man he's pinned against the door.

But the fight or fuck is over before it begins; Andy stops pushing back and slowly relaxes against the door. He looks into Ben's eyes and smiles ruefully, "I am trying to show you with my actions. I'm trying to be a better man, and to stop being so selfish. I want to do the right thing and that means giving you what you want, what you need. Lord knows I haven't given you enough all these years." He squeezes Ben's arm as the brunette slowly lets go and takes a step back. "You need to really think about this. If you want me I'm yours. But...you and Gareth were happy. He's a good man." He opens the door and starts to head out of the bedroom before he stops and turns to Ben. "I'm going to go make coffee and then have a shower. I think you should call Gareth. He's worried about you and he's waiting for you to call."

When Andy leaves the room, Ben grabs his cell and sends Gareth a text saying that he needs some time to think. He owes the other man an opportunity to talk things through but really, the decision's been made. It's not about loving one man more than the other – because he adores them both – but Ben needs to give it a go with Andy because he can't spend the rest of his life wondering what might have been. And as much as he feels absolutely sick about hurting Gareth and then guilty for taking Andy away, he knows he won't be able to live with himself if lets this opportunity slip by.

Andy comes in a few minutes later with a cup of coffee for Ben. "Here, you'll like this. I picked it up in Tanzania after my climb." He sees Ben holding his cell in his hand and asks, "Did you talk to Gareth?"

"No. I just sent him a text saying we'll talk later. I'm not ready yet." Ben takes a sip of the coffee and sighs, "This is really good." He smiles at Andy who's standing there watching him, "You always pick the best coffee."

Andy shrugs but he can't help smiling softly at Ben, "I just know what you like." He grabs a towel and heads to the ensuite bathroom. "I'm going to hop in the shower okay? You can use the other bathroom if you want and you can grab a change of clothes from the closet."

After a couple of minutes, he hears the shower door open and the sound of water running. Ben stands outside the bathroom, eyes shut, one hand clenched tightly on the door handle. He can see it so clearly in his mind, the image of Andy naked in the shower, water coursing over his lean muscles as he runs soapy hands all over his body.

Ben opens the door.

He shoves all thoughts of right and wrong and timing out of his head and strips his clothes off until he's standing naked in front of the clear glass door. He sees Andy look up in surprise and then he's on him, yanking the door open and pushing the other man against the tiled wall.

Their kiss is electric; Ben puts everything he's ever felt for Andy into that kiss – his love, his devotion, the raw need for his best friend that's never faded over the years. The kiss goes on and on with their bodies pressed together until there's not a hair's width of space between them, their mouths wet and swollen as he slides his tongue over Andy's bottom lip and bites. It makes the blond moan, arms lifting from Ben's shoulders to grab the brunette's hair and tug him even harder into the kiss.

They break apart and take a moment to breathe deeply, Ben trailing kisses along Andy's neck and licking the water as it mingles with the taste of salt and skin. Andy is panting slightly, "Ben...ah...are you sure about this?"

Ben doesn't stop touching him – needs to never stop touching him – and looks him in the eye when he answers, "I've always been sure of this."

Andy rolls his hips and presses his cock against Ben's, making them both gasp with pleasure. They are hard and ready, with Ben running his hands across the blond's chest and over his stomach until he reaches Andy's cock. Holding him still with one hand on his hip he grips Andy's shaft with the other and strokes him long and slow, pulling the most delicious moan from the other man's lips.

"I want to suck you." He watches as Andy arches back and bares his neck, losing control as Ben continues to stroke him slowly, luxuriating in the feel of the water raining down from above. He reaches for the soap, getting down on his knees until his mouth is an inch away from Andy's cock. Ben takes his time, rubbing soap over both his hands as he stares up at Andy.

"Ben...ugghh..." There is a loud, drawn out moan as Ben grips Andy's cock at the base and licks the tip with a broad swipe of his tongue. He continues to lick and suck, pulling more noises and incoherent babbling as he rubs Andy's balls with one soapy hand. With his other hand, he slowly inserts a slippery finger into Andy's ass, pushing it all the way in as he sucks Andy's cock deep into his mouth.

"Oh fuck!" He has to pull back a little as Andy thrusts his hips forward, desperate to push deeper into the wet heat of Ben's mouth. He slides his finger out of Andy and replaces it with his thumb, using his other fingers to grab the back of his ass and hold him still. The blond keens wildly and tries to buck forward again but Ben just shoves his thumb in harder and pushes him back against the wall.

Ben pulls off from Andy's cock and looks up from beneath his wet lashes. "Andy, just relax. Let me take care of you." He resumes licking and sucking, working Andy open with his thumb, sliding in and out slowly, pushing harder and deeper each time until he can fit in a second finger, then a third.

By the time he's finished prepping Andy, sliding his fingers out, the blond is absolutely desperate. He grabs Ben by his shoulders and hauls him to his feet. "Please Ben, I need you to fuck me now."

"Turn around." He slides his hands down to Andy's hips and then flips him over, pushing the other man face forward against the wall. Ben wraps one arm around Andy's chest, holding him close and then slowly, slowly pushes his cock past the tight ring of muscle.

The burn is rough and glorious and Andy is holding his breath a bit as he waits for the ache to subside. Ben does everything he can to distract him, one hand reaching around to stroke him again as he clamps his mouth on Andy's neck and sucks.

And then there's nothing but the incredible feel of tight, wet heat as Ben thrusts into Andy, pushing his cock hard and fast as he fucks him with his whole body. There's a harsh gasp wrenched from Andy's lips each time Ben fucks into him; long, deep strokes that has Andy scrambling to stay upright.

"Ben, Ben...oh god."

"Fuck Andy you feel so good."

There's nothing gentle in the way they're fucking, both of them wild with lust as Ben pistons in and out of Andy. Faster and harder, skin on skin as they push against each other again and again, Andy arching back, Ben pulling out almost completely before shoving all the way back in.

When Ben shifts his hips and hits Andy prostate with a particularly hard thrust, the blond screams as he comes, semen pulsing all over the tiled wall. He clenches so tightly around Ben's cock that it's almost painful, pulling Ben along with him in a mind blowing orgasm.

"Oh...god...that was...amazing." Andy's heart is still racing a mile a minute.

Ben slides gingerly out of Andy's ass and then turns the other man around, pulling the blond into his arms. He places a soft, reverent kiss on Andy's lips. "You're amazing."

They stand there for a while, holding each other close and letting the water rinse their bodies clean. Andy rests his head on Ben's shoulder and sighs, "I can't believe I ever walked away from you."

"You were always an idiot." Ben's tone is light hearted and teasing but there's still a knot in the pit of his stomach. He wonders if Andy truly wants to stay.

Andy gently cups Ben's face with both hands and smiles. "I love you. I'm never going to stop loving you. And I swear to you I'm never going to leave you, ever again."


"You had sex before you came over for Sunday brunch?"

"That's not what happened."

"Why am I always the one being topped?"

Varric grins, holding his hands up and gesturing for calm. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy there gentlemen. One at a time please and I'll be happy to answer all your questions."

Garrett tosses the manuscript on the coffee table and glares at Andy and Fenris. "Did you two really fuck behind my back?"

Fenris shakes his head and looks at Andy next to him on the couch and then back up at Garrett. "No Garrett. We didn't have sex that morning. That's not what happened." He gives Varric a look that clearly says 'You will fix this or I'll kill you.'

Varric is sitting in the armchair and grins at Fenris and Garrett before he answers, tone unrepentant, "This is a novel inspired by real life events. Doesn't mean that everything happened exactly the way it's described in the book."

"Seriously, did you read the dialogue he has me spouting after sex? Varric, I'm disappointed in you! How could you make my professions of love so sappy and over the top?" Andy laughs, pushing up to stand next to Garrett before elbowing him in the side. He throws his arm around him and kisses his beard, making the brunette chuckle. "We didn't fuck until later that night and I know you remember that very well. If we had sex that morning you still think we could have done it that many times in the same day?"

Garrett lets out a deep breath, "All right. I'm sorry I got upset it's just the book follows most things pretty accurately so I just thought..." His face brightens as another thought occurs to him. "Anyway, now that I know it didn't happen I'm going to read it again because holy crap, that was really hot."

Fenris is still scowling at Varric when he turns to Garrett and snaps, "Really Garrett? That's the only part that bothers you about this chapter? Not the part where I apparently made the decision to dump you for Andy before I've barely woken up, still half drunk?" He gives Varric a pointed glare, "Why did you make me such a jerk? You made it seem like I couldn't be bothered to give Garrett a second thought as soon as Andy told me he wasn't running off with him."

"Oh that's right," Garrett frowns and then turns to Varric. "I'm assuming from Fenris' reaction that part wasn't true either?"

"Listen, any embellishments or slight variations from actual events are purely to enhance the story." Varric leans back into the armchair, hands pressed together in the shape of a teepee as though he's deep in thought. "The sex, well my editor says the more sex scenes the better since it'll help with book sales. And you have to admit it was very well written."

Andy sits back down on the couch and grabs a burger from the pile of takeout on the coffee table. "Oh is this the shower scene Isabela wrote that Mama Hawke liked so much?" He grins at Garrett who gives him a half hearted glare. "What? Your mother has excellent taste."

There's a big, exaggerated sigh from Varric. "Oh yes. According to Cassandra, my love scenes are too much sap, not enough action. And apparently nobody just fades to black in a good romance anymore so I was forced to add in some juicy bits." He fake shudders and everyone laughs, even Fenris. "You know I had to get some help and bring in the big guns." He pulls out his phone, scrolling through until he finds what he's looking for and then hands it to Garrett. "Here's the dedication I'm planning to write for the novel."

"To Isabela, Merrill, Bethany and Leandra, the brilliant and wonderful women in my life who helped make this love story possible, here and in real life." Garrett chuckles and hands the phone back. "That's sweet Varric. I'm sure they're going to love it."

Varric pockets his cell and then grabs some fries to nibble on as he answers, "I hope so, they deserve it." He turns to Fenris next and says, "As for why you made your decision so soon, it's to add dramatic tension. Readers are going to be upset and worried for Gareth and will hope desperately for you to change your mind – which you do in the next chapter by the way." He levels a look at each of the other men in turn. "You really need to read the whole thing to understand what I'm trying to do here. There's real artistry involved in crafting this story into a heartbreaking yet ultimately triumphant tale of love in modern times."

Fenris snorts and Garrett just can't resist ribbing his friend. "That sounds like your idea of how the review should read for your book."

"Okay, okay never mind Varric's overblown ego. My question's next." Andy waves his burger to get the other man's attention. "Why am I always the one getting topped? I'll have you know that is blatantly untrue in real life."

Varric just grins and shrugs, "That's Isabela. Something about your fair skin and how much noise you make in bed. And how rugged Garrett looks and how dangerous Fenris looks." He grabs the manuscript and flips some pages before handing it to Andy, "Here's the chapter with the Hospital Benefit. She's got you topping the both of them in an empty conference room at the hotel."

"Nice!" Andy starts skimming through the chapter as the other two glance over at Varric. Garrett laughs, "More embellishments for the sake of the story?"

Fenris jumps in while Andy continues reading, studiously ignoring them both. "That would've been messy and taken way too long. We could hardly sneak out for that much time during the Benefit. Especially with Andy being in the Charity Bachelor Auction."

Varric laughs delightedly and takes a sip of his beer. "So your objection is what? That we should have put in a more accurate sex scene? Or that Andy got to top the both of you?"

"Pfft. I top them all the time. That's not his problem." Andy looks up from the manuscript and leers at Fenris and Garrett. "This is pretty good. Though the actual sex we had that night was just as hot." He drops the manuscript on the table and picks up a Coke. "We jerked each other off in a closet. Less messy and took a lot less prep time."

This makes Varric grimace and wave his hand at Andy. "That's too much information Blondie. Keep the details to yourself please."

"Are you kidding? With the stuff you've written about us in your book, you're telling me you don't want details? Since when?" Garrett looks at his best friend, an incredulous expression on his face.

Varric just shrugs, "The stuff in the book isn't real. I don't actually want to know what your sex life is like." He snorts and takes another sip of his beer, "I'm not Isabela."

"Fine, fine." Garrett grabs a burger and sits down across from Varric. "So are there any other surprises like this fake shower scene that I should know about? Maybe give me a little warning here so I don't have another heart attack?"

"No I can't think of anything else really. But I have been thinking on Howe's idea to write a story about Blondie's younger and wilder days as a med school student. I think there's a lot of potential there for great storytelling."

Fenris smiles fondly at Andy and chuckles, "Not to mention all the wild sex scenes you'll be able to put in the book."

Garrett just glares at all of them in response. "Really? You'd be okay with that? Reading about all the other people Andy's been with?

"Reading about it?" Fenris rolls his eyes at Garrett. "I lived it."

Andy interjects before things get out of hand. "Look I haven't agreed to anything yet so there's no reason to get upset." He turns to Varric and grins. "Why don't we get back to the story that hasn't been even published yet? What happens? How exactly does 'Perfect Triangle' end?"

"Uh, uh, can't spoil the ending." Varric shakes his head and gives them all a beaming smile. "But I'll give you a hint. It might involve some more sex."