A/N: This is after 1x13 when Chuck tells Blair he doesn't want her and she's shunned at school. Story Line not really based on, but inspired by a Waterloo Road episode. Enjoy!
She was alone, completely alone. Chuck didn't want her, Nate wasn't certainly going to give her a chance, Serena said she'd always be there… but let's face it there's always someone Serena feels the need to give all her attention and trust to, it'd never be Blair.
Usually Blair would wake up 1 hour earlier, put on her uniform, curl her hair to perfection, and meticulously apply her makeup. But today she felt dirty, disgusting, emotionally drained. With this, she decided her usual long skirts and high buttoned blouses didn't suit her new reputation or emerging alter ego. So she picked out a shorter pleated skirt, and a tighter shirt and vest. Blair glanced at her colourful tights selection, and settled for black: fitting as she mourned her old status. She walked towards the mirror and saw her reflection. Her hair was messy with her natural waves, and her porcelain skin seemed duller. She applied foundation, rep lipstick, and a little more eyeliner than usual. She was no Taylor Momsen, but she was certainly challenging her inner Georgina Sparks.
Leaving her messy waves as they were, she pranced down stairs into the empty living room. She had grown accustomed to it: her mother was always overseas doing business nonsense, and Dorata was on a holiday. Who knew that maids got holiday allowances? What on earth could she afford? A vacation to Brooklyn? Last night's shoes were lying on the floor. She picked them up and put them on, sure they were a little higher than what she'd usually wear: but she felt they would come in handy today, she could use the extra inches. Looking at them time, Blair rushed towards the elevator grabbing her bag and coffee furnace off the bench, not bothering to wear a coat. She was feeling numb, and the cold wasn't even going to affect her.
Walking along the footpath towards school Blair sort of regretted the absence of her coat, apparently this numbness wasn't as extreme as she thought. She wasn't sure but she thought she spotted Chuck's limo driving past, but maybe that was her imagination. He doesn't even come this way to school, god! Was she really that desperate?
Ignoring the stares and snares of her peers, Blair strutted through the court yard towards the hallways. Sure, she was branded a slut, and everybody was bitching about her, but she was a Waldorf, and that meant something… that something being she was old money, and she had more cash than most of the kids at this school. She could feel the eyes and hear the whispers but she remained calm and walked on confidently.
She reached her locker and began to collect her books for AP English.
"Hey B!" Serena bellowed running up to her and hugging her. "I'm so glad you came!"
Serena's long blonde hair was even messier than Blair's, as was her skirt shorter. But that was just Serena, she didn't have to fake confidence, she was confidence.
"Well, if I'm going to Yale, it sort of is a requirement," Blair replied smoothly.
"How are you doing?" Serena asked.
The way she looked at her was different, almost as if she pitied her.
Suddenly the bell rang, thank god.
"Listen Serena, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have English," Blair explained shutting her locker and walking towards her class.
Maybe it was better like this, pushing Serena away. It certainly would hurt less, would lack the devastation of Serena leaving her again. Serena would be fine; she'd have Dan, or Nate, or who ever she allowed into her world to comfort her.
She took a seat next to the window, away from her former minions. How they were even in an AP class was a mystery, they barely had the capability to order the right yogurt. Surprisingly, she didn't miss them; in fact she barely thought about them in a while. It was if she didn't need them anymore, as if she could now see that they were just fear stricken nobodies who would do anything for recognition. She also spotted Chuck sitting up the back with a few jocks. He wasn't exactly the sportiest student at St Judes, but all the jocks idolised him: just because he beds more girls in a week then they probably will in their entire lives.
"Hey Blair," the irritating nasally voice of Penelope giggled. "We're having a party tomorrow night. I would invite you but it's for dignified people only, you know. No one's really into your slut orgies."
Penelope giggled with the rest of the girls.
God! Had she not learnt anything from Mean Girls? All the fighting had to be sneaky in girl world.
That horrible attempt of an insult didn't even deserve a witty comeback Blair had prepared. So she just rolled her eyes and continued staring out the window. She saw Chuck's reflection, now… it may have just been her imagination, but she swore he looked a little guilty. She quickly shook it off, realising that Chuck Bass was most defiantly not capable of such feelings.
"Good morning juniors!" A male voice sung as he walked in the room.
Blair studied him; he had dark brown short hair, a little darker than Chucks, but way darker than Nate's. Ew, why she even comparing him to her ex's? He dressed impeccably well, blue suit pants, white shirt, and a blue striped tie. He was tall, way taller than… ok he was tall, let's leave it at that. His shoes looked expensive, defiantly not knock offs, and the watch, oh my god: the watch. If you ever want to know a guy's financial status, just look at his watch. Rolex.
"My name is Mr Benson, this is my first year at Constance obviously," he grinned. "I'm sure we'll going to have a great time."
Mr Benson. Wow. Teachers like him should defiantly not be allowed to work in a school with horny teenagers; it was undoubtedly going to affect the learning environment.
"Ok so I'm sure you've all done the required reading," he smirked. "Everyone's favourite book right?"
The entire class moaned. Oh dear god, if they had to go over these character analysis and themes one more time.
"Catcher In the Rye!" he yelled a little too enthusiastically. "Ok so I'm going to ask you guys a question, I'll pick a random person off the role each time."
"Penelope?" He searched the room.
Blair rolled her eyes as Penelope unbuttoned her shirt to expose more cleavage. It looked as if her back would snap from sticking her boobs out that much.
"What would you say contributes to Holden's…"
Blair zoned out. She never really understood Holden Caulfield; he was just a whiney kid that babbles on about phoneys and absolute crap. His boring internal monologue was a complete snore; it's as if J.D Salinger was just like 'I'm just going to use a conscious stream of throughout the entire novel and people will think my characters are deep'.
She had dozed off for so long, her mind in another world, that she didn't even realised everyone staring at her.
"Blair, Blair Waldorf?' Mr Benson asked. "What's your position on it?"
* "On all fours!" Some jerk from the back of the class shouted before she could get a word in.
Then of course, Mr Benson, gave her that look. The very same look Serena gave her earlier. The 'oh no you're in shit' look followed by the 'I feel so sorry for you' glance.
"Ok you! Blonde guy who just said that: see me after class."
Blair turned around and gave him a smirk. Sure, she was the new school slut (reluctantly receding Serena) but she wasn't in for a gruelling weekend at school.
"So Miss Waldorf, your stance?"
Blair was sick of herself, disgusted by her actions (oh gosh she sounds like her mother) she hated the old Blair Waldorf; she didn't want to be her.
"I don't know," she replied calmly leaning back in her chair.
She saw Chuck out of the corner of her eye raise his eyebrow. She didn't want to be the know-it-all overachiever Blair Waldorf anymore.
"Fine, ok then: I suggest you get reading," he carried on writing on the board.
"Yea, Blair has other hobbies that consume her time," that Blonde boy chuckled.
Seriously, who is he? As if he would ever have a chance with anyone like her, so why can he judge!
Mr Benson turned around a shot the kid a look, and turned to look at Blair with the 'my sympathy is overloading right now' expression.
The rest of class went by in a blur, a few snide remarks about her sexual experiences, a few unsubtle advances from Penelope, and of course a big discussion on Holden's character.
The bell rang, and everybody rushed out of the room, before she could leave Mr Benson called her over with that random blonde kid.
"Ok, what's your name?" Mr Benson asked the blonde guy.
"I'm Duke Williamson, I'm vice captain of the lacrosse team," he replied smugly crossing his arm.
"Yea ok, Duke would've been fine. Now, Duke, I want you to apologize to Blair here."
Duke scoffed and went to walk out.
"Mr Williamson, if you don't want to fail my class, then I would highly suggest you to find an apology in your heart," Mr Benson suggested.
Duke walked back over to Blair, and unsubtly checked her out and smirked.
"I am sorry I suggested you enjoy sex on all fours, that was inappropriate of me," he grinned walking out of the class room.
Little did he know, she quite enjoyed… ok stop Blair. It's irrelevant.
As Duke left Mr Benson sighed looking at her apologetically.
"It's ok, you know," Blair explained. "You're just making it worse."
"Yea, maybe I am. But I think that was the first time that kid has ever made an apology," he shared grabbing his books.
Blair chuckled. "You'll find that's pretty common around here."
Maybe it was an alter ego developing from her newfound reputation, but suddenly she had no respect for authorities or rules. With this, she hoped, well… she liked to think that the way she swung her hips, and her perky ass may have attracted a glance or two from that totally drop dead gorgeous new teacher of hers.
Serena invited her to have lunch with her, but Blair rejected her offer, she didn't feel like hanging out with Humphrey (When did she ever, right?). And she certainly didn't think she could handle if he gave her sympathy. So she went to have lunch somewhere she never dreamed of spending her time. Sure, she was a Yale bound, book smart overachiever, but she wasn't usually one to spend free time in the library.
She found a desk in a secluded area hidden from rowdy students. Right next to the tragedy and romance section, fitting. She ran her fingers along the book spines; she almost forgot how much she loved literature. Whenever he parent were yelling, or when Serena was partying with Georgina, Blair used to curl up in a corner and read the classics. Fitzgerald, Hemingway, Austen, anything she could find in her Dad's library.
Blair sat on the chair and became aware to her loneliness and isolation. The rumours and gossip alienated her left her all alone. Feeling bored, she reached for her copy of Catcher in the Rye and began re reading it (for like the 100th time).
"It really feels good to know that one person was actually listening to me in class," a voice chuckled from behind her.
She turned around to meet the gorgeous being of Mr Benson.
"What are you doing here?" Blair asked, she thought she was alone.
"I'm an English teacher Blair," he stated. "This is where I live."
Blair shrugged and turned back around to her book.
"What do you think of it?" He asked.
SEXY, so very sexy.
"Oh.. right… ummm, it's kind of boring," Blair admitted.
"I'm surprised," he exclaimed raising his eyebrows.
"Why?"
"Well just from what I've witnessed in class, I just presumed that you would find some sort of comfort in the book," he explained perching himself on the chair opposite her.
What on earth was that supposed to mean?! Maybe the world was even more screwed up than she thought, everyone make assumptions based on nothing but impressions and appearance.
"Well you thought wrong," she snapped returning to her book.
Maybe she was wrong; the library wasn't a good idea.
At that he smiled meekly and walked away.
XOXOxoxoxXOXOxoxoXOXOxoxoXOX OxoxoXOXOxoxoXOXOxoxoXOXOxox oXOXOxoxoXOXOxoxo
Thank goodness the mean girls weren't in any other AP classes; otherwise her day may have been a tad worse. Walking home she really regretted her earlier choice not to bring a jacket.
Suddenly it began to poor. Perfect, just perfect. She wrapped her vest around her body tighter, trying to avoid a potential gossip girl post about her in a wet white shirt.
Failing to find any shelter along the street, she continued walking in the rain towards her penthouse, which was still a few blocks away. Usually, this was the part where Chuck's limo would slide up beside her with an open door, but that was certainly out of the question.
An unfamiliar car pulled up at the curb instead. The passenger door opened to reveal Mr Benson.
"I don't want to seem creepy, or inappropriate, but I think it would be breaking more rules morally if I let you catch pneumonia," he shouted over the rain.
"No thank you," she rejected his offer and continued walking with her arms crossed.
"Please Blair," he pleaded. "Otherwise those very expensive shoes might become ruined."
He really knew the Upper East Side way, if that didn't convince any girl to get in his car, than they must obviously be from somewhere like Brooklyn.
Reluctantly Blair hoped in his car and shut the door.
"There's a towel in the back," he pointed. "Where to?"
She mumbled the address and put her seat belt on. Sure the new Blair may be a little more easy going and rebellious, but she certainly wasn't going to disobey basic safety protocol.
"It gets better, you know?" He assured her. "You won't have to see any of these people again once you graduate."
The last thing she needed was inspiring words and reassurance from her teacher. She remained silent until he pulled up at her penthouse.
"Thanks," she mumbled unbuckling her seat belt and opening the door.
"The trick is, to relate to him," he explained.
Blair shot him a confused look, what on earth was he on about?
"Find some way to relate to Holden, find his humanity."
She nodded and exited the car. Relate to Holden Caulfield! How on earth was she supposed to do that!
A/N:
* Stolen from Veronica Mars
I LOVE CATCHER IN THE RYE: so this was hard for me to write Blair dissing it: P
(I know there wasn't much Chair, but I assure you there will be heaps more if I continue. And like everything should be; Chair endgame)
Please Review and tell me if you like it. Depending on the interest level I may continue it
