Breaking Point
Following DS Matt Devlin's all too public murder Ronnie has a cast iron determination to see his killer caught but how much pressure can he stand on top of his grief? Pairing is non romantic; Alesha just happened to witness the tragedy.
A/N I recently caught the episodes around the murder on ITV3 but I may not have remembered anything so any omissions of detail are mine alone.
"You need to get processed and go home and take some leave Ronnie." Natalie Chandler said, placing a hand on his shoulder.
But he turned to her; his face contorted by grief and anger.
"How can I Guv? I can't just pretend it hasn't happened."
"I'm not asking you to, Ronnie but you have a personal interest in the case. You can't investigate this one, I'm sorry but that's the way it goes."
"I can't sit at home and do nothing, Guv," he protested, "I need to keep busy. My head is full of it and the last thing I want is to be alone with my thoughts. You know it is not the first time this has happened to me and the last thing I want is to fall back into my old ways looking for the answers in a half empty glass. Please at least let me observe."
Natalie frowned.
"It's not the way it works, Ronnie. You know that."
Ronnie sighed; okay she had a point. The CPS would take a very dim view of a serving police officer investigating his own partner's murder especially if someone was charged after the fact but the last thing he wanted to do was sit at home twiddling his thumbs and be traumatized by his thoughts. The odds on him heading to the nearest pub and undoing his sobriety were very real and they terrified him. He had made far too many errors of judgement in the past owing to the bottle and he did not want to take any steps backward. Matt had helped him stay sober; the two men had had a good working relationship and Ronnie had considered him a friend; almost like a son owing to his youth. He missed Matt and his head echoed with the sound of the bullets. He could not close his eyes without seeing the handsome young man bleeding to death on the pavement outside the Old Bailey while he looked on helpless, frozen to the spot and powerless to do anything. If it had been anyone else he might have considered it a random tragedy but with it being Matt, well there was more to it than met the eye. It was definitely a hit and he clenched his fist and drove it into the palm of his hand knowing he would not rest until Matt's killer was behind bars where he deserved to be.
He did not blame Chandler; she was his boss and she knew the rules as well as he did and he knew it must be hurting her because she too had been rather fond of Matt and his easy going cheeky banter. But Ronnie knew the case was off limits and it made him sick to the stomach. Would a new officer who had not known Matt even bother to investigate properly? Somehow he doubted it.
"Ronnie," Alesha Philips from the CPS gently put her hand on his shoulder. She had been there and seen the whole thing. She had been fond of Matt too and the three of them had worked on dozens of cases together over the years.
Alesha's dark eyes were filled with concern and Ronnie forced a smile. She was beautiful with her dusky skin but right not she looked fragile, like she could break into a million pieces and he wished to God the mad shooter had taken him instead.
"I've been married too many times and I've got my girls," he said, struggling to keep his voice level, "Matt never had a chance to do any of that; it's so bloody tragic such a waste."
"He was a sweet guy," Alesha said, "He was so supportive of me over the Alec Merrick thing but you know you can't investigate it Ronnie."
"So what do I do? Let some guys who never knew him investigate. They won't have the motivation and won't leave any stone unturned and meanwhile I'm left twiddling my thumbs."
"Chandler will keep them on the straight and narrow," Alesha said, "she knew him too."
"Thanks Alesha," Ronnie sighed and Alesha knew he was trying to fight back tears. She put her hand on his arm again.
"Will you ever be able to forget?" he asked her, "Will you ever forget seeing Matty lying there covered in blood as his life ebbed away because I don't think I will ever be able to close my eyes again."
"I won't forget in a hurry," Alesha said, "I will do what I can to ensure we get the bastard who did this and I see a connection with the business we were investigating before."
"Seeing a connection is one thing; being able to prove it quite another, you know that."
"I know Ronnie," she said sadly.
"Are you still here Ronnie?" Chandler appeared. Her careworn face looked concerned but Ronnie knew she would turn into a tiger because one of her boys had been assassinated. She had passion enough for the entire police force at times and she had stood by him more than once although she had chastised him just as many times.
"Yes I'm still here Guv," his voice was hoarse with emotion.
"Get along with you, Ronnie." She barked.
He sighed and walked out onto the dismal London street. By some virtue of a miracle he made it home to his lonely empty flat without entering into a pub or off license. He threw his mackintosh over the back of a chair and sank down on the sofa with his head in his hands.
