There's a bond between the four of us that is indescribable. I depend on them like I've never depended on another human being in my entire life. No matter the trouble I may find myself in, no matter what hour of the night it is or how far away I am, I can depend on them to bail me out. All I have to do is pick up the phone and call them. And they'll be there, no questions asked.

Everyone else seems to take death and betrayal so much easier than I do. I've spent years trying to figure out if they save their tears and frustration for when they're alone in the security of their own bedroom. Or if they found a way to block out all the pain and suffering. It's inhuman, the way they manage to keep everything inside, all the pain and heartache hidden from those around them. It can't be healthy.

But I suppose in a way, they were prepared for all of this. They came into each situation, each encounter with certain death, prepared for the worst.

Years ago, Chris was a member of the US Air Force. I remember him speaking about a few comrades he lost before he was discharged. I heard the sadness in his voice, but never once did I see them on his features. I can even remember at our parent's funeral, how he just stood there, completely stone faced as our parents lay cold and lifeless in their coffins. I told myself that he was just being strong for me. But sometimes I find myself questioning that. Before everything around us went to shit, Chris was a member of S.T.A.R.S. and was one of the two sharpshooters of the team. His entire job there consisted of him taking lives if the situation called for it. So he was no stranger to death.

Jill was also in S.T.A.R.S with Chris. She had to undergo the same intense physical and physiological training as him. Every time S.T.A.R.S got called to a job, she knew exactly what was waiting for her. Torture, kidnapping, murder, it was all in a days work for her. I have no doubt that at first it bothered her. I refuse to believe that it never did. But somewhere along the line, it must've stopped. Or maybe it just got easier for her to deal with.

And of course, there's Leon. Okay, so maybe the first time he found himself in hell he wasn't that prepared for it. After all, it was only his first day on the force. Soon after though, he was recruited by the government. It didn't take him long to move up in the ranks, proving himself with his strength, intelligence and determination. Now, as one of the top agents in the United States, I think it's safe to say he's prepared for pretty much everything.

And then of course, there's me. I'm the only one who doesn't belong. The only one who isn't trained to deal with it all. I was a college student when I found myself being dragged into nightmares that would haunt me for the rest of my days. Until then, the biggest of my concern was how I was going to handle my upcoming workload from my classes.

But they've been there for me. Through my sleepless nights and my endless nightmares and tears, they've always been there. I don't know what I would've done all these years without Chris and Jill by my side.

Leon hasn't really been around. I hear from him maybe a few times a year, whenever he finds time to fit me into his busy schedule. I know, that sounds really bitter, but I don't care. It would be nice to see him make some kind of effort to keep more in touch with me. But what can you do? He's a big government agent now. He doesn't have time for little old me.

Claire groaned as she shut her journal. She grabbed a hold of the blue book and tossed it across the room, satisfied by the sound of it colliding with her bedroom wall. If only it could be Leon's face on the receiving end of that blow. Who the hell does he think he is to come prancing into their lives whenever he feels like it? He hardly ever calls, and whenever he does, it's so void of any kind of emotion, Claire's left wondering if he only bothered to call because he feels obligated to do so.

She knew, deep down, that if she needed him, he would be there. Even if they didn't see eye to eye all that often, if one of them needed the other, nothing could stop them from reuniting.

But she did need him. She needed his companionship since that night in September of '98. But he was too busy blaming her for what happened to Sherry to see that. Like it was her fault the government had taken her away from Leon. As if Claire being there with them could have stopped that from happening.

Claire couldn't help but scoff as she pushed herself off her bed. Occasional passing cars broke the silence of her bedroom as she made her way to the open window. She leaned on the windowsill, her elbows resting on the marble below as she rested her head in the palms of her hand. A cool summer breeze blew past her, sending loose strands of her red hair behind her.

She couldn't help but close her eyes and take in a deep breath to steady her racing thoughts.

If she were as strong as them, none of this would be so hard. She could have moved on with her life so long ago. Could've left all she lost in the darkness of her past, never to be reminded of it again. But she couldn't. No matter how hard she tried to forget it, she couldn't. As much as Claire hated it, everything that she lost made her the woman she was today.

Claire wondered what her life would be like if none of it had ever happened. It would be amazing. There couldn't be any other way to describe it. There would be no nightmares, no waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, reaching for the gun on the nightstand. She wouldn't feel a wave of terror rush over her with every sunset. The dark corners of her room wouldn't cause her heart to nearly cease from beating in her chest. She wouldn't be haunted by his final words. Three words that, other than her brother and her father, no other man had spoken to her.

She had taken advantage of the simplicity of her life before Raccoon City. Claire hadn't realized how lucky she was to walk around the streets at night and not have to be in a constant state of fear for her life.

But if she hadn't been put through the horrors of her past, what would her life be like now? She and Chris were always close, but everything that happened with Umbrella brought them closer than they had ever been before. She hadn't realized how much he truly cared about her until he had come to her aid in Antarctica. He made it more than clear to her then that no matter what she trouble she found herself in, he would be there to bail his only sister out. Even if it meant him having to get his ass kicked by his former captain.

Would Jill and Chris be as close if Raccoon City never happened? Probably not. Claire remembered Chris telling her how they were friends, but other than that, there wasn't much there. He never saw her outside of S.T.A.R.S. unless he accidentally ran into her on the street. And now look at them, inseparable. Best friends. Partners.

Claire wasn't sure about much, but one thing she was certain about was that if it weren't for Raccoon City, she never would have run into Leon. He gave her hope that night. Hope that if another person could survive, they could survive together. That they would manage to make it out of that hellhole together and one day they would put it all behind them.

He may have put it all behind him, but she was still far from that point. Late at night, when she tossed and turned in her bed from sleepless nights, things she thought she put behind her haunted her thoughts. More than once, they brought her to tears. But they were never tears of sadness. No, they were tears of anger and frustration.

If only she were stronger, braver. She could have done more for those around her. She could have protected Sherry better. She could have believed in her big brother and waited to hear back from him instead of leaving the terrified little girl and an injured Leon behind. She could have done more for Steve. He could be here right now, living and breathing. But no, she couldn't do anything for him. And now he was dead. Or worse.

Claire slammed her fist down on the marble. Pain shot through her arm from the blow, but the anger inside of her blocked it out. Tears burned her eyes as her body shook.

It had been eight years since she watched Steve die before her eyes. But the pain and guilt was still lodged in her heart as if it had all happened just yesterday. It wasn't fair. None of it seemed fair. He was only seventeen years old. He had his whole life ahead of him. And yet he died and she was spared. Just as she was spared in Raccoon City three months earlier.

Why her? Why Chris, Jill, and Leon? What made them so special that they were able to live through every brush of death while those around them weren't as lucky? It wasn't fair. None of it was fair.

"We survived to put a stop to it all, Claire. Us making it out alive each time wasn't a fluke. We're meant to stand up against those who insist on playing God. And that's what we're doing. It just takes time. But one day, because of our efforts, everyone will be able to live in a world where zombies are a mere form of entertainment. And nothing more."

Claire couldn't fight against the smile that spread across her lips. Chris always knew what to say. It was as if he spent as many hours as her wracking his brain, trying desperately to come up with a reason for still being alive. And he did. It was one hell of a reason. Whether or not it was true could only be determined by time, Claire thought sadly. Until then, Claire knew the guilt and heaviness in her chest would never go away.


Chris paced the living room, his thoughts in as much disarray as the mess he left on the coffee table. Jill cleaned up the mess in silence, though the frown on her face let him know just how fed up she was of cleaning up after him.

"I don't know what to do." Chris finally said, groaning as he ran his fingers through his short hair. He stopped pacing and turned to face Jill, watching her carefully as she gathered the magazines and piled them in her arms.

She picked up the last one and took a seat on the couch. With her free hand, she reached up and tucked a strand of her deep brown hair behind her ear. She cocked her head to the side and gave him a small smile. It was the best smile she could manage at a time like this.

"You'll tell her what's going on, that's what you'll do." Chris opened his mouth, but Jill held a hand up and continued to speak. "If you don't, and God forbid something happens to you, think about how Claire will feel. You can't go into something like this without explaining it to her. Or at least telling her that you love her. You know, just in case."

Chris just stood there, staring at Jill. Silence filled the room as he studied her features. Her blue eyes pierced through him, as if she could see into his soul. Hell, after all these years and all the shit they had been through together, he wouldn't be surprised if she actually could.

Those deep blue eyes that haunted him when he closed his eyes at night. God, how good it would feel to wake up in the morning and that would be the first thing he saw. He looked at her, clutching those magazines to her chest as she stared up at him with worried eyes. So, he wasn't the only one who had particularly bad feelings about this.

His heart told him to go to Jill, that she needed comfort, and that she needed the security that only his arms could provide for her. But his mind assured him that that would be a bad idea. She wasn't weak; she didn't need him thinking she needed comfort in a time like this.

So instead, Chris pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. He checked through his address book and stopped at a name. It was the name of a man he could trust. A man who he knew would look out for Claire in his absence. A man who would make sure to pick up the pieces left behind should Chris fail to come back from this mission.

He entered the number into his phone and held it up to his ear. Without saying a word, Chris walked to the front door and pulled it open.

Jill jumped up from the couch and looked at him, confused. "Chris, who are you calling?"

Chris glanced back for a moment before closing the door behind him. "Leon."