A/N: Just a little fic I thought before falling asleep, so maybe that's the reason why it's kinda shitty. Sorrry about the OOCness of the characters.


Alana was eating on the usual table when Beverly decided to join her. A mischievous glint in her eyes.

"So I found something great while searching the web last night" Beverly looked every bit proud of herself "You buy a large bra, put socks under your boobs, then bam! Medium boobs to big boobs, you can now seduce Will all you want"

She took Alana's confused look to continue "I guess you can't go all the way on date night, since it's kind of weird to see socks inside your bra, but I don't think Will really cares whether you have big boobs, small boobs, or medium boobs." She paused. She can't remember having seen Will look at any prominent part of a woman. "Unless, of course, he prefers male boobs"

Alana sighed, a dark cloud hovering above her "He does prefer that..."

"What? Big boobs?"

"No..." She stabbed the meat with her fork forcefully before bringing it to her mouth "Male boobs"

Beverly's eyes widened in surprise and her mouth fell open "W-w-what?... WHAT!"

"I saw him, groping Hannibal's chest, saying how wonderful and... d-d-d-de... delicious it is" Alana was almost as red as a tomato. Beverly couldn't believe it. What is so wonderful about a male's chest that prompted Will Graham to do that? That's absurd! Heck, she's a woman and she prefers a pair of round boobs over flat ones!

"But you can't titty fuck a man!" she reasoned "You can only titty fuck a woman! With boobs!"

"Bev! Don't be so crude in public!"

"Fucking ridiculous" She whispered to herself. She couldn't believe it. She can't even imagine it, or maybe she can but that beside the point. Will Graham, gay for Hannibal Lecter. Is that what they do in their study sessions? She knew there was something weird going on when Will asked Hannibal to tutor him in Math. The man perfected his last Math exam for fuck's sake! Why didn't see that coming?

She needed to think. They needed to do an intervention. Will and Alana will be going at it like bunnies by the end of the day!

"I get it!" She slams her hands on thetable. "We ambush Will. Then I will pin him down while you bounce on his cock"

"...What?"

"I'll even get Zeller to help" Wow. This is such a fucking great idea. Why hadn't she thought of this before? "If Lecter is like, bouncing on his cock when we ambush them, Zeller will pin him down while I pin Will down then you bounce on his cock"

"But isn't that weird? Since Will's... you know came out from Hannibal's... you know"

"What are you, a fourteen year old virgin? Even twelve year olds don't talk like that anymore" Kids these days are something, Beverly mused. They can say things like cock, slut, pussy without batting an eyelash. Anyway, "You shouldn't worry too much, Lecter is like too fucking OCD that he probably enemas himself after he shits so you can bounce on Will's cock without any worries. Show him that pussies are amazing"

Will then, walked into the canteen holding a Tupperware. He looks too happy and Beverly can see a tear of happiness forming at the corner of his eyes. He practically floated to their table before sitting on the opposite side. It was ridiculous.

"Aren't you supposed to be eating with Lecter in the dark corner of the classroom, doing unspeakable things to him, and what the hell is that?" She asked as if she wasn't plotting the unspeakable things about him earlier. Inside the Tupperware are two grilled cheese sandwiches and some sliced apples.

"He's tutoring Franklyn" he said as he bit down on his sandwich, savouring every taste.

Beverly snorted at that "He's probably raping Lecter as we speak" she looked sideways at Alana. They couldn't possibly talk about rape when the potential victim is in front of them.

"I threatened to tear his heart out from his chest, put it on this sandwich and eat it if he as so much touch a fucking dead cell on Hannibal's body, so I think we're good" He stated as if he was talking about butterflies and pretty, pretty pink flowers.

Beverly kept on nudging Alana too which she promptly ignored. Unable to meet Will's eyes she took her tray then left, only muttering a goodbye.

"Well that sure worked out. I guess Mission: Pin and Bounce has been aborted" She looked at Will munching on his sandwich. He looks like he was having an orgasm after every bite, either the sandwich is that amazing or it's because Lecter is the one who made it, she doesn't know. She bets it's the latter though. "He probably mixed his cum to make it creamier" If it was possible, Will ate with even more gusto muttering "delicious, delicious" after every bite.

Beverly rolled her eyes in "Stupid"


I AM SORREEEEEEEEEEE~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore