Disclaimer: I do not own Narnia, C.S. Lewis is the brilliant brains behind it

AN: This story has been bugging me since like forever. I just need to jot it down before it fades away from my mind.

Once More

Chapter 1: Lost

Susan is walking down a familiar path. She does not know what came to her and why was she going there, she is just having a feeling she should be there.

She remembered her siblings are having their usual talk about Narnia just last night. They were debating.

*FLASHBACK*

Susan was walking to her room when she heard Edmund, Peter and Lucy in the boys' bedroom. They were talking about Narnia,…again.

"Shouldn't we tell Susan about our plans? Lucy said.

"She is not concerned about Narnia, anymore. Isn't she? So why bother telling her when she won't believe?" Peter answered rather grumpily.

"But do you remember what Aslan said? Once a King and Queen of Narnia-"

"-Always a King and Queen of Narnia." Edmund cut her off, then continued, "Yes we know that Lu. But Susan is the one who decided to forget Narnia. I don't think she wants to be associated with anything that concerned Narnia."

"We would save Narnia again, Lu, whether Susan will come with us or not" Peter finalized

*END OF FLASHBACK*

Oh, If they only knew the truth. Susan had never forgotten about Narnia. She never did. It was just too much to bear that she couldn't come back to Narnia ever again. So she pretended that it wasn't real. But she knows deep down inside her she was aching to see Narnia, to breathe its air, and to rule and live in peace once again.

She was actually getting tired of the pretence she was pulling on. She was already thinking of joining them again, sharing her thoughts and experiences with them, but pride won her over. Also, she doesn't know how to start over again, to act that she never pretended Narnia was unreal.

That is why after she snaps her siblings on talking about Narnia, she would simply walk out but hide near them, not enough for them to see her but enough for her to hear what they are talking about. She enjoyed hearing their stories, about their adventures and their thoughts when they are in Narnia.

But last night was a bit different. They were not telling stories or experiences, they were just planning to come to Narnia again. She remembered hearing something about a dream, a man, and Narnia in danger that they have to help.

*FLASHBACK*

"Do you both know the plan? Ed and I are to fetch the rings; you stay with Eustace, Jill, Professor Kirke and Miss Plummer. We'll meet you at the station. We will try to get back as soon as we can." Peter briefly said

That was the last thing she heard. For Lucy was making her way to the door and she did not want to be caught eavesdropping so she went to her room as fast as she could. She and Lucy were sharing the same room.

She grabbed her brush and gently brushed her hair in front of a huge mirror. She saw the door flung open, and revealed her little sister. Lucy then started staring at her.

"What is it, Lu?" she asked, a little worried.

"Nothing" answered Lucy. Then after a deep thought, "You are very beautiful Sue, can I , um.. brush your hair?"

Susan laughed but not mockingly, "Of course sweetie, come." She gestured Lucy to come to her.

Lucy silently and adoringly brushed her sisters hair. She seemed to be deep in thought.

"Sue, have you really forgotten about Narnia?" Lucy then blurted, breaking the long silence.

Susan felt her throat dry, "I haven't forgotten Narnia." Lucy's eyes shone "It is a game we played before, and we all enjoyed playing that game". Lucy's eyes began to look sad.

"Oh.. I thought…" She trailed off. Susan was sorry she lied to her but did not show it.

"Ummm.. Sue, you know I really admire you. It's just that…" She trailed off again, thinking of the right words to say but failed.

"Just what?" Susan asked curiously.

"Nothing" Lucy smiled. She stared lovingly to her older sister. "I love you, and I forgive you for everything you had done wrong to me. No matter what you had done, I love you and I will always be your sister".

Susan has no idea what Lucy was talking about. All she knows is that she was acting weird. Even though she has always known her as sweet innocent Lucy, her action was just not her. Maybe it was just her imagination.

She also realized how much Lucy's words affected her. She stood up and looked at her little sister who was now fast asleep. She went to her bed and thought about what she would do.

Tomorrow, I would definitely tell her that I love her so much and that I have been lying all this time, that I do remember Narnia, and our blissful life when we were there. I would tell her how much I love her and that she is far more beautiful than I am.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

But then she had not done this for Lucy was already gone. Apparently, she went to see Eustace, Jill, Professor Kirke and Miss Plummer to wait for Edmund and Peter.

She then remembered walking to her brother, Edmund, who was so caught up in space. He is clearly thinking about something.

*FLASHBACK*

"A penny for your thoughts?" Edmund jumped up and tripped, making Susan giggle at his reaction.

"Do not startle me like that" He said after recovering from his shock.

"Sorry" Susan said "What are you thinking anyway?"

"Nothing." Odd, Susan thought

"Well, I should be going now." Susan said to break the awkward silence.

Susan made her way to the door when she heard Edmund called her. She looked back at him. He had already caught up on her.

"Do you still think Narnia as a child play?" He asked then after seeing a frown form on her face continued, "Well, I'm sorry, I do not want to be a hindrance anymore, I'm sorry, really sorry"

With that Edmund walked away, leaving a puzzled Susan. Then still confused, she walked towards the door when again Edmund called her. Wearing a frown, she again looked back again.

"I just thought you were lonely or something,.. so I thought,.. Su, you are a great sister. Even though you deny everything about Narnia, and we had drifted apart, I still love you as a sister. And don't be sad, I, we will always be with you, no matter what your choices are, no matter what happens." Edmund smiled at her before turning his back from her.

Susan didn't even realize she was no longer scowling, she was crying. She wanted to ran to her brother and hugged his back. She wanted to tell him that she was really lonely and that she was guilty for lying from them. That she does not really think Narnia was just a game but know from her heart the place was really true. And that Edmund would never be a hindrance to her. That she misses him, Peter and Lucy. That she also love him as her brother.

"Susan!" someone called outside.

Maybe it could wait; she does not want to make her boyfriend wait for her. So she dried up her tears and walked to the door.

I would tell him all that as soon as I come back from my date.

When she opened the door, she almost screamed from surprise. Peter was just about to enter when she opened the door, almost bumping to each other.

"Sorry." He muttered. Then he saw there were tears in her eyes. He was to ask her if she was crying when Susan speak up.

"I'm sorry Peter. I .. should…" She trailed off, she wanted to tell him the truth already, she can't bear it anymore.

But then maybe Peter won't believe her. After all she had been mean to them. She doesn't even deserve Lucy's admiration and Edmund's concern. She definitely doesn't deserve Peter's care, even his pity.

"Nothing. I should be going now" And with that she strode off to her boyfriend.

Peter eyed her with concern then he called her back. When she looked back, he shouted,

"If you have anything that's bothering you , you can tell me. I am your brother after all."

Susan smiled and thanked him. No, she doesn't deserve this. Maybe she could make it up. Yes, she would make it all up once she came back home. She rode her boyfriend's car and he heard Peter shouts just before the car screeched.

"Take care Su. I love you."

Susan blinked. Weird, very weird. Everyone is all acting weird.

Did he just say what I thought he said? Why is everyone acting so weird? Oh well, I should just make up my mind and confessed to them after my date. And with that Susan, make sure of that.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

She didn't really enjoy her date. She was busy thinking about how to tell her siblings she was sorry. Her boyfriend was so pissed, he broke up with her.

She doesn't really care. She is actually relieved he broke up with her. She wasn't happy with him. She was excited to go home to care at all.

But nobody's home when she came back. She waited for them, but got really bored so she decided to go look for them.

Where could they be? Aha! I remember Peter said something about train station. Maybe I can find them there.

So she walks her way to the train station. If you can call that walking, it seems more like skipping. Upon arriving at the train station she immediately went looking for Peter or Edmund or Lucy, or anyone that is friends of Narnia. She would tell them she have come to help them with their quest of once again saving Narnia from the trouble.

She smiled at the thought. Her smile even got broader when she saw Edmund and Peter in the midst of the crowd. She called them but could not possibly be heard with all the noises. She can't also seem to move from her place because the place was too crowded.

She was looking at them while she was trying to shove some people out of her way. And she saw it all.

The train was nearing, both train. From one train boarded Lucy, Eustace, Jill, Polly and Digory . On the other train boards the Pevensie parents. Both drivers of the trains lost their control on the vehicle. They crashed to one another. Parts of the train came flying by. People screamed and panicked and run wildly to escape. Susan just froze on her position; she tried finding Peter and Edmund. She looked around just in time to see a train part was flying towards Peter and Edmund who was trying to save some children who was lost from all the commotion.

"PETER! EDMUND! LOOK OUT!" She shrieked but it was drowned from all the noise in the station.

She saw Edmund look at the object flying their way and said something to Peter. Then both of them hugged one child. And to Susan's horror, the train parts struck deep into Ed's and Pete's skin. She cried and went running towards them not really caring if she knocked some people down.

When she reached them she quickly untangles the men from the children who were crying. Both children were greeted by their weeping parents. Susan herself was weeping.

Peter and Edmund already closed their eyes never opening them again. Both also had no pulse and not breathing.

"EDMUND! PETER!" then remembering what Peter said last night she bolted up and started looking around.

"LUCY!" saw a small fragile body lying lifelessly on the ground. She was surrounded by 4 other lifeless bodies. "No, no, NO! LUCY! NO!" she ran towards the bodies. She does not know what to do anymore.

She felt her knees weakened, she then fall out. She cried her eyes and heart out as she chanted the names of all she had lost.

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AN: Please read and review.. : thank you

Wow! I never thought someone would actually read this, let alone review this. It sure is surprising and I am really thankful! To each and everyone who have read this... I can never thank you enough.. Really! I love you guys! :)