Jeff strolled into the study room early on Halloween night, wearing his perfect Halloween costume. He was only 20 minutes late and wasn't even the last one there – Annie was nowhere to be found for some reason. But showing off this costume was worth getting here 10 minutes earlier.
"All right, I know this'll be hard for you people. But don't get me 'stuck in the middle with you' and your praise right now. Lock up your 'reservoir' for the party, k?" Jeff warned, while making sure his black suit and tie overshadowed his words.
"By the hammer of my sickening adopted brother! What are you supposed to be, unremarkable human?" Abed requested in his full on Loki costume.
Troy said something afterwards, but no one could understand him through his Bane mask. He then lifted it up and complained, "This is the last time I let Garrett touch my voice box stuff! How am I supposed to be Bane if no one can understand me? Where's the logic in that?"
Britta them added a few points while wearing her old dinosaur costume, with only a few touchups to make it more lizard like. "You know, I could have played the guy who breaks men's backs. But I just had to be the only summer super villain no one remembers. You're lucky I'm still a kick-ass progressive dinosaur in my head."
"Yes, your head has a dinosaur brain in it, that's been established. Now back to not raving about my costume," Jeff returned the focus to him.
"What's to rave about? You're playing the Men in Black, but you don't even have the sunglasses! Or the blackface! Racist much?" Pierce uttered, not wearing a costume. "You're just as bad as these guys when they took my Charlie Chaplin costume and mustache away!"
"Pierce, Charlie Chaplin's shirt and hat never looked like…..well, that!" Shirley assured, dressed in another blond wig and pink dress – only this time with a name tag reading 'Miss Piggy – just this ONCE' on it.
"Just because Leonard and his gang tell you something doesn't mean it's true. They'll tell you myself when I get through with them, cause I know piggy kung fu!" She then backtracked and told Jeff, "Sorry, I know spoofing the Matrix is your thing, Jeffrey."
"Okay, if you're that determined to rave about it, fine!" Jeff pretended to be annoyed. "For the record, when you rave later, it'll be because I'm the last surviving member of the Reservoir Dogs, 20 years later."
"But puny human who's beneath me, you don't look a thing like-" Abed/Loki started before Troy spoke up incoherently in his Bane mask. "Right, of course. I forgot Earthlings aren't all evolved enough to watch the end of a 20-year-old classic. That will change when the Chitari come, don't you worry."
"Hey, I'm gonna get to it!" Britta spoke up. "Once Tarantino finally brings in Uma Thurman to shoot those douchebags up, I'm sure I'll get to the end next time! So see you in Hell, Harvey Keitel!" she quipped at Jeff.
"Good, Britta got one line right, so now we can go. Let's make it quick, I got four parties and four best dressed costume prizes to visit after this," Jeff pressed.
"Wait, where's Annie?" Pierce asked. "I wanted her to see my Chaplin more than anyone! She'll make you pay for censoring me then, Hitlers!" Troy spoke another series of muffled, incoherent words in response – but then the words "Holy crap" actually came through quite clearly.
Before Jeff could ask about it, he heard the words "Merry Halloween, everyone!" from Annie's voice. When he turned, he nearly ripped off Troy's sentiments.
Annie had not just arrived in a costume – it was the exact same Santa costume Jeff got a private viewing of 10 months ago. Now it, and everything it exposed all too vividly, was on display for all to see. And for Jeff too.
"Cool Reservoir Dogs 'costume' Jeff," Annie said as she marched up to him. Jeff heard her because focusing on her lips was all he felt safe doing at the moment – and even that was risky. However, Annie went behind him and whispered in his ear, "So since I gave you that, please don't give any lectures until I'm done talking, okay?"
If Annie had been in front of him or even besides him, there's probably no way Jeff could have heard her with her chest in his eyesight. The clever but unbelievably cruel minx. For that much, at least, Jeff figured he could keep quiet and plan out all his lectures in the meantime.
"Oh, An-nie, you didn't have to do this," Shirley spoke, having beaten Jeff to the punch on lecturing. "Just because there are so many slutty nurses, maids, schoolgirls and Leias out there, it doesn't mean you have to out slut them. And with stuff from the wrong holiday."
"Shirley, I'm not trying to outdo any sluts," Anne said without even stuttering or blushing at the s-word. "Besides, they just dress like that to be slutty or act out some movie character. I created this character myself….and this isn't the first time I've played her."
That it wasn't. But thinking about that wouldn't help Jeff at all. He tried to keep his mind blank, and stare at the walls at all times, as Annie trotted towards Abed. "Loki, I'm sure you tortured Abed into telling you about Glee club last year."
"Ah yes, one of the more evil acts I've made someone confess to under torture," Abed played along. "If he told it right to make the pain stop, you dressed just like that after he helped brainwashed you. Then you used that outfit to- "
"Become a brain dead, baby talking Santa baby, that's right!" Annie stopped him, sparing Jeff in more ways than one. "It was one of the more childish things I've ever done, and that's saying something. But this time I'm redeeming Santa baby. I was going to do it for Christmas, but I was so excited I couldn't wait! Besides, doing it on Halloween makes it even funnier, and in character!"
Troy spoke unintelligibly again, yet Annie understood him and answered, "No, not like that, Bane! It goes deeper than that! When I dressed like this before, I was embarrassing. But it's been 10 months, and now this character is more evolved. She's smarter, she's more mature, and she doesn't talk wike a baby anymore! Not more than a few times a boopy-doopy hour!" Annie baby talked, which both relieved and turned Jeff off in equal fashion – though not as much as 10 months ago.
"Okay, so that and a Christmas costume for Halloween means she's still a bit ditzy. But that's the point. It doesn't mean she hasn't gotten better." Annie spoke normally. "She's learned from her mistakes and she wants to be a real adult now, and she knows in her heart she can be a pretty good one. That's why she's back tonight to have fun without being a baby."
"Right, I'm sure that's the kind of fun everyone will want with her," Britta chimed in. "Not acting like a slutty stereotype would be easier without dressing like one, wouldn't it?"
"I told you, she's not that far along yet! In almost every other way, she is!" Annie reminded. "That's why it won't matter if they look at her like that! Like she's still just a bumbling, inappropriately sexy girly girl who has dumb moments sometimes! But now she's grown up enough to know that's not true. That she's more than that and she should never give up trying to be," she assured, as it got through to Jeff that she wasn't just talking about who she claimed to be talking about.
"That no matter how much you humiliate yourself, you can always go on and try again to be better. To show yourself and others you're more than what you were at your most idiotic. That your worst behavior isn't who you really are, and it just takes being brave enough to prove it to yourself, and everyone," Annie laid out. "I don't know….playing someone like that really appeals to me, I guess. That's why I couldn't wait two more months to do it."
With that, no one else had anything to say, so Annie turned to the person she specifically told to keep quiet. "Okay, Jeff. Now you can say whatever you want, then we can go to the party."
Annie smiled her determined smile, prepared for whatever Jeff would finally say. What's more, the others were anticipating a big show and another Jeff/Annie blowup as well. But all the things Jeff would have said to trigger that escaped him now. In fact, all words escaped him at this moment.
The only four words that he managed were, "I'll be right back," before he got up and left the study room.
"That's it? You took the great dictator from me and that's what steals the show instead?" Pierce complained. "Well, my famous goose dance steps should still save this travesty!" Yet everyone united to stop him from saving the travesty. All except for Annie, who stared at the open study room entrance and tried not to fear the worst, or most aggravating, when Jeff came back.
At least Annie knew what she was doing at the moment, which is more than what Jeff knew as he walked through the halls. He was too clogged up with thoughts, ideas, and those annoying feelings things as he walked on autopilot.
There was one thing he wanted to do, but he was too blocked up to know exactly why. There were plenty of theories, but they were too piled together – and if he actually thought about them, he'd lose the nerve to do it. So Jeff kept himself blocked and thoughtless as he marched into the Dean's office.
For the first time ever, Jeff felt lucky enough to see him still in his office. He took a quick look at how the Dean had on a Black Widow cat-suit, a red wig, cat-like ears, a cat-like tail and some kind of cape with spider pictures on it. But the millions of jokes and creeped out shudders about it could wait until tomorrow.
"Let's cut to the chase. We both know there's a Santa costume somewhere in your closet of wonders. Maybe even a male one. I will pay you one Saturday afternoon of my time at the mall, and one karaoke song with no tweeting, if you give me that costume tonight," Jeff offered without bothering or wanting to explain why – to anyone in that room.
"Prove it's been thoroughly washed this week, and you might get one untweeted video out of the deal too. But you get nothing if I don't get that costume. Now."
By miracle of miracles, the Dean had a Santa costume that was appropriate for non-Dean Pelton people to wear. He saved the wacky stuff for the beard and hats, but Jeff wouldn't need any of those anyway. Just the red suit, belt and even some big black boots would make do for whatever this was.
Jeff still didn't feel like examining whatever this was, as he just went about and did it. However, part of him still knew he'd need an answer or two when non-Dean Pelton people saw him as Santa Claus.
Unfortunately, that part wasn't loud enough to signal Jeff in time when he arrived at the library, or when the study group saw him. And it certainly didn't get to him before Annie noticed either.
"Oh my God, Jeff, you've got to be kidding me!" Britta called while barely containing her laughter. "This is what you do when you actually dress up?"
"Britta, don't attack him for finally doing something Christian! Especially on the devil's holiday!" Shirley defended, but then added, "Dressing as the wrong Christmas symbol, now there's something to nitpick. Especially since you probably weren't inspired by Christmas," she hinted at the point.
"I must admit, for a lowly, made to be ruled human, this is a trick worthy of the Gods/aliens," Abed praised as Loki. "Abed would call this a milestone in your character development. If I hadn't frozen him with the frost giant powers I illogically lost before my second adventure. But that's for other lesser directors to fix next time!"
Annie didn't even wait for Pierce or Troy to chime in, blurting out, "Hold on a minute, I forgot something at the study room! Can't question anyone with that in my head, can I? Jeff, can you help me look for a minute?" Though she wasn't fooling anyone, Annie still left and signaled for Jeff to follow her.
"You seemed smarter than me at hiding feelings when I met you," Britta dug in. Jeff couldn't even get a last-second dig back at her, since he'd have to save his best words for Annie.
