She closed the back doors to the villa and ran to lean over the railing around the terrace. Maria closed her eyes and gave a long exhale of breath as she leaned into the cool stone. Tears threatened to fall, but she was determined to keep them in. She felt foolish. He was marrying the Baroness and her heart was breaking.
I must stay strong. I cannot break down.
But not matter how tough she tried to remain, the tears eventually fell. She stood there, alone and helpless as she finally let her pain escape after so many weeks of shutting it away.
Before she knew it, Maria was gently sobbing. She wrapped her arms around herself as a light breeze whipped its way through the fabric of her blue dress.
Maria was just about to move from her place at the railing and take a walk down along the lake when she noticed another lone figure in the night. Quickly, she composed herself and dried her face as she made her way down the steps toward the water and one of her charges.
"A bit late for you to be out, isn't young man?"
Kurt turned with a surprising look on his face, still dressed for dinner. He was leaning on the gates and spun around at his governess' voice.
"Fraulein Maria, I'm...I'm..." He couldn't get any words out, not knowing if he was in trouble or not.
Maria warmly smiled at him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"It's okay. I'm not going to turn you in," she said with a slight wink, putting Kurt at ease.
"Thank you." He turned back toward the lake and gazed out. Maria mimicked his stance and stood next to him.
"Mind telling what you're doing out so late? By the looks of your clothes, I'm guessing you haven't been to bed yet."
"I just felt like getting some fresh air - is that such a crime?" Kurt snapped back defensively.
Maria looked at Kurt cautiously. Something was obviously wrong. He was never sullen or angry. It was different seeing him not jovial and laughing.
"Kurt...Kurt, look at me." He turned to face his governess.
"What's the matter, darling?" Maria placed a loving hand on his head and for a moment it looked like Kurt was going to break down.
"Nothing's the matter, fraulein. Why would you say that?"
"Well, you and your brother and sisters went straight to your rooms after dinner and none of you put any resistance when it came time for bed. So I know something's up."
Kurt stood firm, but his gaze wandered and scanned the length of the lake before coming back to rest on Maria's face.
"You left us, why?" Maria was caught off guard at his question and took a step back, now her turn to be speechless.
"Oh, Kurt. It's far too complicated and too late to get into that now." She hoped her vague answer would suffice, but Kurt wasn't budging.
"You didn't even tell us you were leaving, you know." By now he had sat down with his back to one of the pillars attached to the gate. His legs were stretched out straight and he sat there with his arms across his chest, defiant and unwavering as he glared up at his governess.
Maria succumbed and stooped down so she was sitting across from him on the opposite side of the gate.
"So you're mad at me then." It was more of a statement than a question really.
But Kurt's expression softened and he shook his head in response.
"Of course not. I could never be mad at you. We all figured we had done something wrong. Just very sad when we woke up and you weren't here."
Maria gave him a sad smile. "I never intended to hurt any of you, honestly I didn't."
"It's all right, Fraulein Maria. You're back now and that's all that matters." Kurt gave her a triumphant look, but Maria only turned away.
"Kurt, you know that I won't be able to stay here with your family forever, right?"
"What do you mean? You just got back, don't tell me you're leaving again?" His eyes begged her not to go.
"Well you see the thing is, you're all going to have a new mother and that really leaves no place for me." She gave him another sad smile. "You'll all be a family again."
"That's not true. We'll never be anything if father marries the Baroness. None of us want that to happen."
Inwardly, Maria agreed with him whole heartedly, but she couldn't tell him that.
"She's going to be your new mother. I don't see how the seven of you can't grasp the positive aspect of your father's marriage."
Kurt narrowed his gaze, one that was too familiar and reminded Maria of the Captain.
"We're being forced into this, fraulein. It would be one thing if we all liked the Baroness or if father asked us what we wanted, but we cannot allow this to happen...she's not a good person." And then almost timidly he added, "she's not you."
Maria's head snapped back toward Kurt.
"She's not me? What on earth do you mean by that?" She was in shock. Did Kurt know about her feelings for the Captain?
"You know what I mean. She's too proper and interested in fancy parties to pay any attention to the seven of us. She doesn't have any feelings for us, you can't argue with that. Sure she played with us today, but only because father suggested it. We all loathe her!"
"Now just one minute there, Kurt Von Trapp. It's very rude to say such things about someone and -"
Kurt cut her off. "I overheard her saying something about how she's shipping us all off to boarding school after she and father marry."
Maria looked at him in disbelief.
"It's true. Ask Uncle Max, he's the one she told. Would you honestly even consider a thing, fraulein?"
He looked over at her with such sadness in his face. Of course the seven of them disliked the Baroness, but it was for a much different reason. They all saw her as a replacement for their mother and it was obvious they didn't want one, especially if she was going to be as careless and uninterested in her motherly duties.
Maria took a minute to process this and chose her next words wisely.
"Certain circumstances force you into a situation where you may not be comfortable or willing. But, you learn to adapt and eventually find yourself going with the flow, so to speak."
Of course, Maria's words had a double meaning, laced for Kurt as well as herself.
"I don't believe you, Fraulein Maria. You've never been one to do any of that."
Maria had to smile at Kurt's astute observation. He was right. No matter how she tried to fool anybody, her true colors would ultimately shine through.
Kurt looked at her for a response, but she didn't have one so he asked another question.
"So you'd really leave us like that then? You'd go away and be happy at the abbey and we'd all be here miserable?" Tears were falling down his cheeks and his voice began to falter a bit.
The sight broke Maria's heart. She couldn't lie to him anymore, but she also couldn't flat out tell him she was helplessly and utterly in love with his father. Maria scooted closer and enveloped Kurt in a massive hug. She didn't want him to see her cry, too.
"Oh my darling. I fear that us being pulled apart is God's will. I knew when I came here at the beginning of the summer I couldn't stay forever. And now, look at you all, you're being blessed with the opportunity of a new mother, at having an opportunity to rebuild your family. He will guide and protect you through anything. I have faith that no matter what, you'll never be miserable. Stay strong, Kurt. Believe that things will get better and it will be so."
Maria clenched her eyes closed as Kurt clung onto her, his silent sobs reverberating against her chest. Finally, Kurt calmed down and pulled away, giving Maria just enough time to quickly dry her eyes.
"Then I guess I'll have to say goodbye to you after all." His eyes stared deep in Maria's.
She slowly nodded at him. "Soon, sad to say, but yes, very soon." She reached out and cupped his face with her hand, just about to offer more words of comfort when they heard footsteps beside them. They turned to see the Captain casually standing over them, hands in his pockets.
"Isn't it a bit past your bedtime, Kurt?" He glanced down at his son, who stood up in a flash.
"Yes, father. Fraulein Maria and I were just talking, but I'm going in right now." Kurt turned and looked back at his governess. "Goodnight. See you in the morning?"
Maria nodded. "I'll see you at breakfast, try not to be late." Her light joke made Kurt chuckle as he went to walk past his father.
The Captain stopped Kurt on the way and gave his shoulders a tight squeeze before sending him inside. After the sound of Kurt closing the doors echoed in the night, the Captain turned back to the beautiful woman sitting in front of him.
Maria's breath caught in her throat slightly as she realized she was alone sitting on the terrace with nobody to save her. It was just she and Captain Von Trapp.
